Excerpt from the journal of T.C.Russell
As I sit in forlorn solitude and write this my heart cries out for you. I have just come from a wedding that I only dream you could have seen. As the bright sunlight shone through the perfect stained glass windows and the rainbows it made dappled the glorious white of the bride's gown, I thought of you.
I can only hope that you remember me, or even think of me at all, but it matters not, for your memory lives in me, and that is enough. That and the pictures.
This shed, no more than a metal closet, is covered from celing to dirt floor in pictures of us. Us at the pier, dancing quietly in our solitude, pictures of us kissing, pictures we made of each other, and even some of the teddy bears we won each other at the carnival the year you left me. Binky, my bear, has long since fallen apart, but Bobo,your bear, still hangs from his loop not 4 feet above my head in our steel dreamhome.
Why didn't we last? Why did you leave me? This I'll never know. The feel of your body against mine, the sound of your heartbeat, the texture of your hair, all linger still in my mind, unfading and true. I love my wife dearly, but her love can never replace the special bond we shared for so long, you are, and will remain ,my first love.
And love you, I still do, my Martin.
As I sit in forlorn solitude and write this my heart cries out for you. I have just come from a wedding that I only dream you could have seen. As the bright sunlight shone through the perfect stained glass windows and the rainbows it made dappled the glorious white of the bride's gown, I thought of you.
I can only hope that you remember me, or even think of me at all, but it matters not, for your memory lives in me, and that is enough. That and the pictures.
This shed, no more than a metal closet, is covered from celing to dirt floor in pictures of us. Us at the pier, dancing quietly in our solitude, pictures of us kissing, pictures we made of each other, and even some of the teddy bears we won each other at the carnival the year you left me. Binky, my bear, has long since fallen apart, but Bobo,your bear, still hangs from his loop not 4 feet above my head in our steel dreamhome.
Why didn't we last? Why did you leave me? This I'll never know. The feel of your body against mine, the sound of your heartbeat, the texture of your hair, all linger still in my mind, unfading and true. I love my wife dearly, but her love can never replace the special bond we shared for so long, you are, and will remain ,my first love.
And love you, I still do, my Martin.