A/N: This story was written for The Houses Competition forum, Year 2, Round 4.
House: Gryffindor
Year: 6 stand in (I'm usually a Year 3)
Category: Themed—One Big Happy Family
Prompts: 1. [Speech] "Why are there letters? You told me math was all about numbers." 2. [Speech] "Well, you are certainly nothing like your mother/father." 7. [Object] Cookies.
Word count: 4509 words (according to Google docs and wordcounterdotnet)
Winning
Percy cleared his throat, his blue eyes peering around the cramped kitchen table. The conversation soon died down, and as seven pairs of eyes swung to him, he looked down at the piece of parchment in his hands.
"Welcome, everyone, to tonight's proceedings. In front of you all, you will find a copy of the agenda for this evening." Without looking up, Percy picked up the piece of parchment sitting in front of Bill and held it up. "Please take a moment to read through and—"
"Can we get a move on? You're putting me to sleep."
"I second that. C'mon, let's just start!"
Percy glared at his brothers as they made loud, fake yawning noises. George—or Fred—was covering his mouth in as obnoxious a fashion as he could, and Fred—or George—was stretching his arms. When the latter saw him watching, he put his head on his twin's shoulder and closed his eyes.
Thankfully, his mother picked up on what was going on and lightly clipped Fred—or George—over the ear. "Continue, dear," she said, turning back to him with a smile.
He dipped his head in her direction, ignoring the way Fred and George scowled at him. Clearing his throat again, he turned back to the parchment.
"As I was saying, I suggest that you read through the rules in front of you so that you can fully comprehend what we should all be aiming to—oh, for Merlin's sake!" When another yawn came, Percy glared up at the twins again, who were wearing identical smirks.
"What?" Fred—or George—asked, his eyes going wide.
"It wasn't us," the other twin said, turning to his brother. "He thinks it was us."
His brother shook his head. "Such a lack of distrust."
Before he could berate them, however, Ron piped up. "Er, sorry," the boy said, his cheeks reddening. "I didn't think that would be so loud."
Rolling his eyes, Percy looked around the table. "Can we please focus? I haven't even begun reading the rules, and there are several we need to cover."
"We can wing it."
"Yeah, rules are made for breaking, anyway."
"Exactly."
The twins hi-fived each other, grins still in place. Although their mother shot them a warning look, the twins' words elicited smiles from Charlie, Ron, Ginny, and even his father. Percy threw down his parchment, his cheeks growing hot.
Not for the first time that evening, he wished his oldest brother was there. Despite his rather… unusual... dress style, Bill was always the sensible type. He was the one who had given Percy the idea for the evening's entertainment, and he would certainly have ensured the proper procedures were followed. As it were, he was far too busy enjoying the company of his newest girlfriend to be of much help.
"Maybe we should just start. After all, there is fun to be had!" their father said.
Percy huffed. "Fine."
Still, when he pulled off the lid of the box sitting in front of him, he couldn't help the tingle flowing through his fingertips. Carefully putting his hands inside, he lifted out the thin, purple wooden board inside and placed it in the centre of the table. Tapping the centre with his index finger, he watched as the board unfolded itself into the expected pentagonal shape.
"Why does it look like an oversized chocolate frog card?" Ginny asked, leaning over the table.
He swatted her hand away as she reached out to touch it and began setting up the cardholders that came with the set. "Because the same person who designed those sickly sweets also had the sense to design Wizard Trivia. Now, the first thing we need to do is choose the coloured token we want."
"I want a cat!"
"There are no cats, Gin," he said. When the girl pouted, he pointed to the tiny coloured cauldrons that lined themselves up on the board. "See? They're all cauldrons, just in different colours. Since purple is your favourite colour, you can have that one."
Ginny grinned at him as the little piece hopped to the starting point closest to where the nine-year-old was sitting. He had been considering telling her she was far too young to play, but if their father helped her, she wouldn't slow down the game too much. Plus, it was meant to be a family night, and she would probably benefit from the knowledge that would be revealed during the length of the game.
"I want the orange cauldron!" Ron said, leaning forward next to Ginny.
"Hold it." Percy grimaced at his sticky hand. "It is good manners to let witches select first," he said, turning to their mother. "Would you like to choose next, Mum?"
Their mother beamed at him. "That is very thoughtful of you. I think I might choose the pink cauldron."
Ron slumped back in his seat as the little pink token shuffled closer to their mother. When it was in place, the youngest boy leant forward again, eyes focused on the orange cauldron.
"Father, would you like to go next?"
"Aww, c'mon!"
"We're going in order around the table now." Percy turned to his father before Ron could protest further. "You can choose any you like."
Their father scratched his head, peering at the line up of cauldrons over the top of his horn-rimmed glasses. "Hmmm… they all look nice. I think I'd like the—no, not that one. Maybe I'll have the—hmmm…"
It was difficult not to hurry his father along, but Percy managed to hold his tongue—unlike Ron. Every time his father's hand would hover over the orange piece, the boy would suck in his breath, only to release it when his father moved to another piece.
"Look at that concentration, folks," Fred—or George—said.
"You can almost feel the tension in the air," the other twin chimed in.
"Will he go for the green, perhaps?"
"Or is that too Slytherin?"
"The blue, maybe?"
"No, no, it's the red. I repeat, he has chosen the red!"
"And the crowd goes wild!"
Their father smiled at the pair as the little red cauldron moved into position. Fred and George continued to clap and hoot, and it took several coughs from Percy before they finally focused.
"What colour do you two want?" he asked.
The twins looked at each other and nodded.
"We'll play as one team—"
"—and we'll take—"
"—orange."
A gasp came from Ron's side of the table as Fred—or George—ushered the little orange piece forward. Their mischievous eyes glinted as they watched Ron's face turn a deep scarlet. However, at the last minute, one of them winked at the boy, and the other shook his head.
"Actually, little Wonniekins can have the orange cauldron."
"We'll take the green."
Ron grinned as the orange piece moved over to his spot, its original place quickly taken by the green piece. Thankfully, Charlie was quick to choose his yellow marker, and Percy selected the blue cauldron, sure it was exuding calmness. Nudging it with the tip of his finger, he smiled around at his family. Finally, the game was about to begin.
"Remember, the goal is to fill up your cauldron with as many of these 'ingredient' tokens as possible," Percy said, pointing to the centre of the board. Several miniature potion vials were sitting in a small cardboard box, each representing the various categories of questions available. "Once you have at least one of each colour, you then have to roll the dice and correctly answer a final question. This will earn you a chocolate frog and ultimately, win you the game."
"Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I don't think we have any chocolate frogs here," his mother said. "I have made some cookies, though; will they do?"
His lips twitched into a small smile. "No, thank you. The game doesn't use real chocolate frogs; just these enchanted figurines," he said, pointing to the relevant pieces.
"Speak for yourself! Can we have some now?" Ron asked.
"Yeah, I'm hungry," Ginny added.
Their mother glanced at Percy as she said, "When they're ready, we can all have some. I think we best get started. Who goes first?"
"You may."
All eyes turned to the dressing-gown clad woman as she picked up the dice. Shaking it in her fists, her tongue protruding from her lips, she threw it into the centre of the board. On cue, the pink cauldron jumped into action, scooting forward the five paces the dice showed.
"You've landed on the 'Muggles' category," Percy said, peering at the icon of a light bulb underneath the pink cauldron. "Dad, would you like to read out the question?"
His father's eyes lit up as he saw the category, and he seemed to smirk as he saw the disappointed look on his wife's face. "Are you going to answer this one, or can we have it?" he asked.
Percy had to give it to his mother; for someone who was always complaining about their father's Muggle obsession, she certainly wasn't about to give up without a fight. Crossing her arms, she winked at the man.
"I'm going to answer it."
His father almost looked crestfallen, but his eyes sparkled as he read the question. "What is the most common method of transportation that Muggles use in Britain?"
His mother smiled. "I believe the answer is transportation by car," she said.
It was almost comical the way their father's mouth opened and closed. "Y-yes, correct. But how did you know?"
"The Ministry apparently uses them," she said, moving about in her seat. A red potion vial hopped into her little marker. "And don't you think I don't know of your plans to buy one of those Muggle contraptions, either. The answer is no, by the way."
"Oh." Their father hung his head and picked up the dice. Rolling it across the board, his face lit up once more as it landed on a six. "Excellent, this looks like a fun category. I'll take it."
"It's a history question. Which British Minister for Magic came up with the idea of the Hogwarts Express for school transportation?" Percy asked.
His father was silent for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. Percy smirked to himself, already knowing the answer without needing to look at the back of the card. He wouldn't have been able to, anyway, until his father answered; the cards were charmed to hide the answer until the player responded.
"Oh, er, hmmm, that is tricky. It was probably, er… Could you repeat the question?"
"Which British Minister for Magic came up with the idea of the Hogwarts Express for school transportation?" When his father blinked, he sighed and added, "Think of who was Minister in 1827."
"Hey! That's not fair!"
"You can't give hints."
Percy shrugged his shoulders at the twins. Neither of them appeared to really be upset that he had helped out; in fact, he was sure they would be begging him to help them when it came to their turn.
"Ok, I'm going to guess… Dugald McPhail."
Percy shook his head, and peering at the card, said, "Close; he invented the Knight Bus. The correct answer is Ottaline Gambol."
To his surprise, his father didn't look too crestfallen that he had gotten it wrong. "Huh, I suppose you learn something new every day," he said, smiling.
Their mother rubbed his back. "Your turn, boys."
Fred and George both grappled for the dice, their hands colliding over the board. Percy held his hands in front of the game, trying to avoid having the pieces knocked out of the way.
"I'm rolling first," Fred—or George—said, scrambling to get the dice.
George—or Fred—hastened to pull it from his fist. "You said I could go first."
"No, I said you could answer the question first. I'm rolling the dice."
"You can both roll the dice," Charlie said with a chuckle. Percy glanced back at the clock as his older brother said, "Hold it between both of your hands and throw at the same time."
Percy had to remind himself not to roll his eyes. The twins could waste their turn with their silly antics; it would be his turn before he knew it, and then the real fun would begin.
Charlie's eyes lit up as he saw the topic. "Magical creatures. Which dragon's silvery-blue skin is often used—and wrongly, might I add—to make protective gloves and shields?"
Fred and George looked at each other, and Percy knew they would get it wrong. He did love them dearly, but Quidditch, and Quidditch alone, was their strong suit.
"We think the…"
"...Swedish Short-snout."
Charlie blinked and nodded. "Correct! How did you—"
The boys hi-fived, their hands making a slapping noise that echoed around the kitchen. "It's best if you don't—"
"—ask. Some information—"
"—is very dangerous, you know."
Charlie, Ron and Ginny all stifled giggles as their mother shot the twins an exasperated look. They simply batted their eyelashes, feigning innocence.
Percy took the cue to speed up the game, prompting Ron, Charlie, and Ginny to roll the dice and reading out their questions. Only Ginny managed to answer her question correctly, largely because their father knew exactly what a 'telephone' was.
"Alright, Perce, your turn," Charlie said, handing him the dice.
The tingling in his fingers came back, and he clutched the dice to his chest. Now was the time to show his family just how great he was. Refraining from kissing the dice to bring him luck—he wouldn't give Fred and George any reason to mock him—he rolled it across the board. He held his breath as the little blue token counted each step.
"History. Do you want to take it?"
Puffing out his chest, he said, "I'll take it."
Charlie smirked at him. "If you insist. In which year did a Goblin rebellion occur that forced the Minister for Magic at the time to resign?"
All eyes were on him again, and he straightened his back. Quickly running through the facts from Binn's class—they had just covered the Goblin rebellions before Christmas break—he looked Charlie right in the eye.
"1612."
Reaching forward, he tapped the box holding the potion vials. A yellow potion vial should've jumped out and plopped into his cauldron.
"Incorrect. 1752."
"What? Give me that!" Percy snatched the question card from his brother's grasp. Sure enough, as his eyes scanned the answer, he could see '1752' was clearly printed. "I was sure…"
"Oooh, Percy got it wrong!" Ron said, snickering into his hand.
Their mother turned her glare to him as he and Ginny began laughing, but there was a small smile on her face. Percy shook his head, positive that there was a rebellion in 1612 as well.
"Awww, is Perfect Percy going to quit?"
"Will he cry?"
Blinking, Percy adjusted his position and looked around at his family. He was simply having a bad day, that was all. Fixing a smile on his own face, he folded his arms.
"Of course not; don't be so childish. I'm just warming up."
"Come on, Ron… you've got this!"
"Er, is it too late to pass?" Ron asked.
"Yes!"
Percy drummed his fingers against the table. He was secretly hoping that Ron would be able to pass the question. His own cauldron was looking a little empty compared to the rest of his family's, and if he didn't start getting more vials soon, he was in real danger of losing. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he break his losing streak?
He could see that his mother, too, desperately wanted to answer the question. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the table, her lips quivering. Celestina Warbeck was her special subject, and he half wondered if she would clip Ron around the ear if he got this question wrong.
"Ok, ok, just let me think," Ron said, rubbing his forehead. "Ok, five?"
"Correct!" their father said.
"Bloody hell, really? Yes! Take that, Charlie!" A small, pink vial from the 'entertainment' category flew into his cauldron, leaving him one point in front of Charlie.
"Well done!" their mother said, nodding her approval. "I think that deserves a special treat. Excuse me."
No one complained when they saw her walk over to the oven and take out a tray of freshly-baked cookies. The smell of the biscuits wafted throughout the tiny room, and everyone perked up. Even Fred and George, who had quickly grown bored of missing answers, grinned.
Percy took the cookie offered to him and took a bite. He knew his mother's baking was unbeatable, but he still marvelled at the way the chocolate chips melted in his mouth. It was enough to make him sit up and rub his hands together, ready for the next round of questions. He couldn't give up, not now.
Smacking his lips, Charlie rolled the dice. His little yellow cauldron jumped forward four paces, landing on the 'sports' category.
"Excellent," he said, picking up another cookie. "I've got this one in the bag."
"Well, you're certainly nothing like your mother," their father said, winking at the woman as he picked up the card. "Or me. Neither of us would probably get this one."
"We'll read this question," Fred—or George—said.
His twin's eyes lit up and he took the card from their father. "Yes, allow us."
The two boys shared a grin before Fred stared at the card. "What is the name of the girl—"
"—on the Gryffindor Quidditch team—"
"—that Charlie fancies?"
Charlie smiled. "Her name is Eliz—wait, what? That's not a real question!"
Their father grabbed the card as the twins cackled and hi-fived each other, again. "That's all we needed to know!" they chorused.
"Ahem, Charlie. What is the name of the sport that dominates the United States' entertainment?"
"Quodpot!"
"Correct!"
The orange sports vial hopped into his cauldron, putting him in the lead. Charlie's smirk grew wider as he turned to the twins and said, "Your turn."
As the twins rolled the dice, Percy reached forward and grabbed the question card. The hubbub died down, and all eyes focused on him as he fixed a firm look on the twins. The twins stared right back at him, their faces serious and chins placed in their hands.
"Go on."
"Don't draw it out."
"Alright, this is an Arithmancy and Divination question. Do you want to take it?" Percy asked. Scanning the question, he nodded to himself. Finally, one he knew.
"Absolutely."
"Of course."
"Ok then… it's Arithmancy. What number would you get to represent a snowstorm occurring on a Friday?"
"65!"
"56!"
"Did you even think about it?" Percy sighed. "The answer is 420y."
The twins looked at each other, unphased by their ridiculous answer. Glancing around the table, Percy could see the rest of the family were scratching their heads or looking confused.
"Nah, you've got to pulling our legs," his father said.
"You can check the card yourself if you want," Percy said, handing it over.
He watched as his parents both peered at the answer, shaking their heads. Looking up at the ceiling, he rubbed his temples. How could no one in his family understand basic arithmetics, and yet still be ahead of him in points? What was going on?
"Well, I'll be," his father said.
Ron's head snapped to their father. "Why are there letters? You told me math was all about numbers."
"It is. Who wrote these questions? Surely they're wrong," Charlie said.
"Miranda Goshawk—proficient in both Charms and all magical subjects—did, and she's never wrong," Percy said.
If Bill was there, he would've known the answer; he had gotten an Owl in the subject, after all. Percy sighed, taking the card back and replacing it in the pile. It still had a few questions left on it; once all the questions had been played, the card would self-destruct.
"Wow, Percy thinks the answers are right."
"That's surprising."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Percy asked, looking at the twins.
Both shrugged at the same time, but it was Charlie who jumped in. With a soft smile, he said, "They're just complimenting you. You see, we're all proud of the way you're admitting defeat tonight. You've accepted all the times you were wrong—well, most of them, anyway—and didn't even argue with us. Normally, you, er—well, it's nice to see that you're not taking it so seriously."
"Yeah, it's like you're losing on purpose to spare us," Ron said.
Charlie squeezed his shoulder, his smile growing. Blinking, Percy turned from him and looked around at his family. They were all smiling at him, his mother glowing with pride. Even the twins looked grateful.
They really thought he was losing on purpose? Why would anyone throw a game just to spare someone's feelings? It didn't make sense.
His cheeks burned as his mother offered him the last cookie. If only they knew.
"This really is fun, but don't hold off on our account," she said.
"Yeah, we want to beat you fair and square," Ginny said.
"R-right, ok. I'll stop, er, relaxing."
"Good. Now, who's turn is it?" his father asked, reaching for the dice.
Percy stared at his near-empty cauldron, vowing to do better.
This was it: the final round. Everything until that moment rested on this next answer, and with the second batch of cookies all consumed within five minutes of their arrival at the table, all Percy could chew on were his nails.
Fred and George looked at each other and grinned.
"We think it's—"
"—The Weird Sisters."
Percy glanced at his father as the man read the answer card, biting down hard on his nails.
"Correct!" he said.
The noise was deafening as the twins leapt from their chairs and started hollering.
"We beat Percy! We beat Percy! We beat Percy!" they chanted, hugging each other and dancing around the kitchen.
Percy placed his forehead against the table and shook his head. How was this possible? How had every single person in his family, except for Ginny, have beaten him?
As he looked up, Ginny yawned, her eyes closing.
"Maybe we should call it a night," his father said, patting his sister's shoulder.
Ginny shook her head, stifling yet another yawn. "No, I want to beat Percy, too."
His cheeks burned as he watched his sister roll the dice. They both had one last question, and when he saw her cauldron land on the 'Muggles' category, his heart sank.
"Do you want to take this one?" he asked, trying to keep his voice light.
Ginny looked at their father before nodding.
"Alright. Your question: What is the function of a rubber duck?"
Percy looked up at his father, sure the man would know the answer. Ginny was also doing the same, her eyes blank as she mouthed the words, 'rubber duck, what's a rubber duck?' His heart pounded against his chest as his father opened and closed his mouth. Then, with a spark glinting in his eye, he whispered into Ginny's ear.
This was it; he would officially have lost the game.
"Is it a garden ornament?" Ginny asked.
Percy sighed, knowing they would have it right even before he glanced down at the card. George and Fred already looked set to throw another party, and both Ron and Charlie had wide grins on their faces.
"Cor—wait, no, incorrect." Percy blinked as the answer glared up at him. Rubber ducks apparently had nothing to do with gardens, and with a smile rising to his lips, he repeated, "That's incorrect."
"Aww!" Ginny moaned, though it had less of an impact as she stifled another yawn. She didn't seem too perturbed at getting it wrong, though, as she turned to their mother and asked, "Can we please get one of these rubber ducks so I can see for myself?"
Their mother pursed her lips, but their father grinned. "What a splendid idea!"
"Alright, Percy, this could be it. Are you ready?" Charlie asked, handing him the dice.
His heart rate picked up again, and his hands trembled as they released the dice. As it bounded across the board, he sucked in his breath, praying for a good category.
"Sports."
Adjusting the collar of his robes and ignoring the way that seven pairs of eyes were focused on him, he nodded at his father to read the question.
"Which British team won the 1983 Quidditch League Cup?"
He may as well have taken his father's offer to call it a tie. He had absolutely no interest in sports and didn't even know the names of half the teams in the league.
"Umm…"
"Tick."
"Tock."
"Tick."
"Tock."
"Ti—"
"Will you two knock it off?" Percy said, glowering at the twins.
The boys cackled mercilessly, leaning into each other. Rolling his eyes, Percy threw his hands up in the air. The night was lost, but he may as well have a guess and show that he could also have fun.
"I don't know, er, the Chudley Cannons?"
His father glanced at his mother before looking down at the card. "Correct! Well done, Percy, you finished!"
"W-what? I got it right?"
"Well done!"
"Yes, well done, Perce! I knew you could do it."
Percy sat up as his family chorused their congratulations. Even Ginny, who's cauldron had spewed out its potion tokens upon losing, was smiling. He shook his head, not sure what to say. He had only picked the Chudley Cannons because Ron was always going on about them; he was pretty sure, though, that the twins were always teasing him because his team never won a match.
His father quickly placed the question card into the box and rubbed his hands together. "Alright, who would like another cup of hot chocolate before bed?"
His mother summoned a tray of steaming mugs over to the table and placed another plate of cookies into the centre. Picking up the tray, she then headed towards the living room.
"Do you want help packing your game away?" Charlie asked whilst the rest of the family followed their mother, mugs in hand.
Percy shook his head and started packing away the pieces. "It's fine."
Taking out the card his father had put away, he looked down at the words, 'Falmouth Falcons.'
Charlie had started heading towards the living room, but he paused in the doorway. "You're not upset that you didn't win tonight, are you? You do know you are the smartest one here, and even if you weren't, we'd never care if you won or lost, right?"
Laughter came from the living room at that moment, and Percy took a moment to look at his family. They were sitting around the fireplace, their hands wrapped around various chipped mugs. Every single one of them, despite their sleepy eyes and wide yawns, wore a smile on their face. Charlie was right; none of them seemed to care about the results of the game.
Percy nodded and turned back to Charlie. With a small smile of his own, he resumed packing up the game.
"The truth is, it seems I've already won," he said.