Disclaimer: These scrumptious men do not belong to me, and neither do the lovely Sunako and Noi, who are only mentioned in this chapter, but at least one of them will be starring in the next. Hope you enjoy. (Lots of SunaKyou in next chapter, not much in this one)
"Takenaga? Pass me those chips."
"Here."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
Four equally dazzling men sat in the Nakahara mansion living room. Yuki and Takenaga stretched out on couches, Ranmaru stalking about by the windows, and Kyouhei thrown out like an animal rug on the plushly carpeted floor, slowly eating the chips Takenaga had passed him. He wasn't all that hungry, and the chips weren't too appetizing, but mindlessly eating was at least something to do.
The four stared at each other. They were so bored. There should have been something to do, but the TV connection was out, due to a storm many miles away, and none of them had any dates. Even Sunako, who was always a good source of entertainment, was doing housework, and had threatened to feed them their own dirty laundry while they slept if they didn't leave her the hell alone and find something productive to do.
I can't believe she does our laundry, thought Kyouhei, dragging his fingers through the matted carpet fibers, even our underwear for kami's sake…Suddenly the strawberry blond was up and at'em, his eyes wide and brows high on his forehead. Takenaga slowly raised his head from where he had been hanging it over the armrest, eyes glazed and spacey.
"What is it?" his voice came out as slowly as if he'd just suffered some severe brain damage, and Kyouhei rolled his eyes at the Takenaga heir.
"I just realized something."
"And what might that be?" Ranmaru half sang, drifting over in hopes of finding something interesting to focus on.
"Sunako washes our underwear." At first they all nodded at him like he was stupid or something, their thoughts still as thick as molasses, but then they all stopped nodding and looked at each other in realization. "She knows exactly what we wear, and I bet she even irons them with all the care she puts into her laundering. Hell, can you imagine someone, a girl, Sunako for god's sake! touching you're dirty underwear? Well, can you Ranmaru?"
"Hey, don't you direct this at me!" the redhead cried, raising his hands as if to deflect Kyouhei's words. Yuki looked almost comically mortified.
"I feel…gross." The innocent blond admitted, wiping his sweaty palms on the thighs of his jeans, "Like I've disrespected Sunako. I can't believe I hadn't thought about it before!"
"I feel that way as well. And to think, poor Sunako! She's never even been with a boy like that and she's washing all of our underwear! I wouldn't even let Noi do that." Takenaga agreed, and Ranmaru and Kyouhei nodded in affirment. They all sat about for a few minutes, feeling bad for Sunako and disgusted in themselves. Finally Kyouhei sighed, breaking the uneasy silence.
"This isn't doing us any good, feeling this way. It is her choice right? It's not like she complains. I'm sure-I'm sure she doesn't even notice." Yuki shook his head, staring down at his fists resting on his knees.
"She does. Haven't you noticed how she sometimes leaves them folded on top of the radiators after she's dusted them, so they're warm when we put them on?"
"She does that with all our clothes." Ranmaru protested, rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous hand. Yuki shook his head again.
"Doesn't matter. Anyways, it's usually just the clothes she thinks we're gonna wear that she leaves out, not all of our shirts and pants. But she leaves out all the underwear."
"Sock's too." Takenaga added, sifting a hand through his well-conditioned hair, "I always thought it was sweet of her, I mean, who doesn't love putting on clothes that are still warm? Especially…underwear." The black-haired man said the word underwear hesitantly, as if it were naughty and frowned upon. Suddenly Ranmaru's face went very, very pale.
"Oh no." Kyouhei, Takenaga, and Yuki all turned to watch as Ranmaru dropped his face into his hands, eyes wide. "No, no, no, no, no. That means she's seen it. I always mean not to toss it into my laundry basket, which, unlike you Kyouhei, I actually do, but I always forget somehow."
"Seen what?" Yuki piped, as girly and naïve as girly and naïve could be. Ranmaru's face went red as a pimento as he bit his bottom lip, small rivulets of sweat trailing down the sides of his face.
"It's, well it's…y'see I don't really, but sometimes..." The womanizer hung his head low, refusing to make any eye contact with his fellow roommates. "It's called a grnhgr."
"A what?" Kyouhei asked, holding his hand up to his ear.
"A grnhgr."
"WHAT?"
"A GROINHUGGER OK?" They all sat in silence, stunned and blinking at the redhaired and redfaced skirt chaser. Kyouhei's face became dangerously skeptical as he narrowed his eyes.
"What?" he breathed, expression tight. Ranmaru covered his face again. His blush was as red as a London bus, spreading to his neck and ears, something that never happened to a cool-witted Don Juan such as himself.
"Don't judge me!" he sobbed, his piteous cries making Takenaga wince, "I bought it a long time ago. I was young, I couldn't help it! The women I liked back then went just crazy for it." Takenaga raised a quizzical eyebrow.
"Just what is it?"
"It's a type of underwear. It's a length of cloth, usually some kind of gauzy material, sometimes cheesecloth if you're daring. And it knotted in such a way that it…hugs your groin. It covers everything though. It's a type of fetish clothing, meant to be used along with…" Ranmaru made an embarrassed choking sound.
"With?" the three others urged in one voice, leaning a tad closer in their seats.
"…with toys." Ranmaru finished, practically curling into a shameful ball right there on the floor. Takenaga and Kyouhei went white before blushing madly themselves, looking away to stare at unimportant things such as the non-functional TV and the expensively framed paintings Auntie had put up on the walls. Yuki cocked his head to the side, confused.
"Toys? Like…action figures? Gundam Seed?"
"Don't say seed!"
"Does he really not know?"
"The boy's a six-year-old! He really is!"
Yuki folded in on himself, ashamed of his naiveté while the other three log rolled on the floor back and forth, embarrassed that he didn't know and that they did. Finally Kyouhei walked over on his knees to whisper in Yuki's ear.
"Don't tell him!" Ranmaru cried in anguish, putting a hand out to stop him. Kyouhei slapped his hand away and leaned towards Yuki.
"It's time he knew!" The strawberry blond protested, cupping a hand to whisper the grotesque facts into the shielded boy's ear. Takenaga and Ranmaru stopped moaning like banshees to listen, though they only caught a few words.
"shops…rubber…sometimes with buckles…likes to…and then…against the bed…shove up…sticky…metal kind…hurts sometimes…elastic is the best…and then you…with…push up…gets wet. Be sure to clean up afterwards, it can get messy sometimes." Yuki's face turned green and he became sweaty all over.
"I don't feel so good you guys." He said, wobbling out of his seat to stand up, swaying uneasily. "I'm just going to go to bed." The three watched him stagger out of the room and down the hallway. They looked at one another gravely when they heard the bathroom door shut hastily, and the sounds of retching drifted distantly down the halls.
"You couldn't hold back, could you? For the poor boy's sake?" Takenaga asked quietly, his face a papery white. Ranmaru nodded in agreement, looking a tad green himself. Kyouhei shrugged, crossing his feet on the low wooden coffee table stationed in front of the couch he was sitting on.
"The boy needed to know." He said indifferently, leaning back against the cushions Yuki and Takenaga had earlier been nesting in. They sat in silence for a long while, contemplating different things.
"Hey," Kyouhei announced, "I just thought of something." Ranmaru and Takenaga covered their ears.
"We don't want to listen to any more of your sudden revelations! They make us give up more then we're willing to give up!" cried Ranmaru, shaking his head back and forth viciously, his unhealthily deep blush beginning to recede.
"Yeah!" Takenaga agreed, shaking his head back and forth as well. Kyouhei sat straight up in his seat.
"Now wait you idiots! I have something really interesting to say!"
"No, no!" Takenaga and Ranmaru yelled in unison, writhing to get away from the fried-shrimp-eating monkey.
"Now hold on a minute!" Kyouhei sprung from his feet and kicked the two sissies in the head, successfully stopping their protests. "There, that's better. Now, just listen to me for a minute." The two housemates blinked at him, rubbing the bumps that were beginning to form on their heads. "Sunako's seen all our underwear, even Ranmaru's groinhugger, right? Washed it all, right? Maybe we should…" it was Kyouhei's turn to color as red as oxygenated blood.
"Should?" Ranmaru and Takenaga urged half wearily half curiously, this conversation beginning to sound somewhat like their previous one.
"should…do the same for her? I mean, maybe not wash it, but she's seen our underwear for kami's sake! That's one step lower from seeing us naked! It's exposed us in ways we didn't ask for! We should expose her in exactly the same ways, yes?" Kyouhei cleverly omitted that she'd seen him at least partially naked already when she walked in on him that one time in the shower. Ranmaru and Takenaga sucked in hesitant breaths, mulling over Kyouhei's drastic, devious, slightly lecherous, and possibly dangerous suggestion in their minds. They looked at each other before voicing their decisions.
"No." the two replied in unison, blunt as blunt could be. Kyouhei refused to deflate.
"Come on, I don't want to be bored again, there's absolutely nothing to do!"
"Read a book." Takenaga suggested weakly, though he knew it was no use.
"After! I'll read a book after. C'mon, we'll just horse around a bit, no harm, no foul. It'll be fine. You two already know if worst comes to worst I'll take her on, I'll be able to hold that rabid little she-demon off! At least, for a little while, but long enough for you two to get away and cover up your scent so she won't hunt you down after she's gutted me and pickled my eyeballs like daikon slices." Takenaga and Ranmaru exchanged glances once again. "C'mon ya wusses," Kyouhei urged, shaking them lightly for a decision, "we'll be free from boredom for a while right? It'll be fine."
The heir and the Casanova sighed, drooping slightly in defeat. He was right, it would be entertaining enough. The two turned to look at their fearless housemate, who was already smiling at them encouragingly. The two shrugged, already knowing part of what they were getting into.
"Oh," Takenaga finally said, sagging under Kyouhei's excited gaze, "oh alright. Just don't get us killed." The blond slapped his black-haired friend heartily on the back, his grin inextinguishable.
"Don't worry! We'll go in, have a peak, maybe take a pair for future blackmailing purposes, and then get out again and call the electrical company for the umpteenth time to see if they can get the TV working again. Really, what's the worst that could possibly happen?"
Little did the three schemers know that the worst that could happen was a lot worse than they thought.
The groinhugger is not a real thing ladies, no matter how much you wish it was. Don't be lame! Review! Please? If you do Ranmaru might show you some of his toys, maybe he'd even demonstrate how to use a few? I'm jus' sayin'. I love all of you, even if you don't review which is really lame! !*word vomit*
p.s. there will be plenty of sunakyou in the chapters to come! (I don't know how many that is)
-Shredding Ribbons