Losing You

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel , 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set after the movie
Universe: Set in the movie universe. Only the movie NOT the book that goes with it!
Pairing: Scott/Jean
Summary: Sabretooth takes Jean and Rogue prisoners and forces Scott to choose who is to live- Jean or…Rogue?
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13/R 
Warning: Character Death!
Thanks to Christina for the Beta.
*mmmm * is telepathically thoughts spoken in the mind. " mmmmm " is spoken out loud.

Part 1:
"I'm going to the mall to get a few things we need. You want to come?" Jean asked Rogue as she saw her sitting alone in the kitchen this Saturday morning. It was still early, 08:32, so many in the Mansion weren't up yet. Jean was surprised that Rogue was awake considering the students had held a party last night that had lasted till way past 3 in the night. Poor Scott. He had been babysitting on the party and had first got to bed at 05:00 after clean up. When Jean had awoken around eight, Scott had grunted sleepily at her and gone back to sleep.
"Sure," Rogue answered and got her cape. It had been a little over a month since her ordeal at the Statue and to her joy Logan had returned last night. Really bad timing with the party and all, something that Scott also had complained about but he had been as happy to see their friend as the rest of them. Maybe more since Logan had bought his beloved motorcycle back. She had tried to fit in with the other students at the school but it was hard. Scott had talked with them and explained her mutation for them, saying they should be kind to her as he hadn't missed that almost all had avoided her since she had touched Logan in his room. Kitty had been the first to approach her since then and after that the other students had soon followed. She had tried to open up to the teachers but since Logan's distaste in authorities still sat in her it was difficult. Especially with Scott. Through Logan's feelings she knew he didn't hate the other man, but disagreed heavily on his methods and visa versa. She wished she had the courage to approach Scott and talk with him to get to know him better. She sometimes felt like he had built a prison up around himself through his inability to really see other people. Sometimes she thought she saw the real Scott, afraid to be alone, so desperate to be loved and yet so strong and self-sacrificing, the latter two qualities he displayed time and time again on missions and in his daily life.
"Here we are," Jean said and parked the car. They were so early that there were no other cars parked near by.

Rogue liked Jean, but maybe that was a leftover from Logan as well as she hardly knew the woman. Rogue and Jean exited the car and walked towards the mall, through the large parking place. Suddenly Jean stopped. Rogue stopped too and looked puzzled at her.
"Someone's here. Someone with hate on their mind. Hate and…" Her eyes widened. "… murder!"
"What? Where???" Rogue asked confused and looked around. All she saw was an old woman coming towards them, her steps unsure.

"Her???" Rogue asked disbelieving and nodded to the old woman.
" No, but close by," Jean whispered to Rogue as she scanned the area. She still wasn't very trained in using her telepathical powers so it was hard for her to locate the source of the thoughts and feelings she was getting.
"Can you help an old woman to the entrance, child?" The woman asked pleasantly to Rogue, her hand shaking as she pointed to the nearest entrance to the mall. Rogue's eyes softened. She missed her own grandmother at home. She hadn't seen her since all this started.
"Of course. Here, let me guide you."

Rogue offered the woman her arm, which she gratefully took and they started walking towards the mall.
*Something is not right. Stay alert ,* Jean's voice rang in Rogue's head.
*What can she do? Hit me with her cane?* Rogue thought back a little amused. She had barely thought it before she felt a familiar sting in her back and as she lost consciousness and fell down she thought as loud as she could, hoping Jean would hear it:
* Like Magneto did….It's a trap…get….away...warn…..* As before she almost immediately lost consciousness.
"Rogue!" Jean yelled as she saw her fall down and heard her thoughts. Before her eyes the old woman transformed into a beautiful blue woman.
" Mystique!" Jean hissed and used her telekinesis to tear up a street lamp and throw it towards the other woman. Mystique neatly docked it and came at her. Jean involuntary backed away and…right into Sabretooth's arms.
"I always wanted a redhead!" He growled.
*Professor, hear me! We are in trouble. Help us. Sabretooth…." She had been so concerned about what Sabretooth might do that she had overlooked Mystique who gave her the same injection in the back as Rogue. She promptly lost consciousness.

Part 2:
"Jean!!! No!!!!" Scott yelled and sat up in bed. Through their mental link he had heard her plea to the Professor. He jumped out of bed, quickly dressed and ran to the Professor's office. His heart was pumping in fear for Jean and his thoughts and feelings were in turmoil. Let her be ok. Please let her be okay, he prayed as he ran through the corridors and into Xavier's room.
" Professor..."
" I know, Scott. I have already checked on Magneto. He's still in prison so that means that Sabretooth and whoever he might have with him is operating on their own." The older man looked sadly and concerned at Scott. "And that is not a good thing. Eric…Magneto has a sense of control and a sense of honour..." As always when the Professor talked about Magneto, his former friend and now enemy, his voice and eyes softened. "…but Sabretooth has neither. He kills because he can and he enjoys it."
"Have you been able to locate them?" Scott asked concerned. He needed to do something, anything to try and save her. He had to save her. He had to.
"They are moving around right now so Cerebro can't pinpoint their exact location. When they stop I can find them."
"Where is Marie???" Logan asked dangerously, his claws at the ready as he burst into the office.
"She was kidnapped, together with Jean," Xavier said calmly, not the least afraid of Logan's eagerness to fight.
" And what…You sit around here and do nothing??? Your girlfriend is gone as well," Logan yelled angrily at Scott.
" I know that. Don't you think I know that?" Scott yelled back, anguish in his voice.
"Stop this childish behaviour at once! It will not bring them back," Xavier said sternly. Scott immediately backed down while Logan still stared angrily at them. "I can't locate them until they stand still. I'll…" The phone ran in that moment and Logan growled in frustration. "Professor Xavier speaking," Charles said as he answered it and following his telepathic impulses, put it on speakers.
" Hey, Prof. If you want your girls back I suggest you tell your X-men to meet me at Claremont Bridge tonight at five. Oh, and tell Cyclops he's not to worry about his little lady. I'll take good care of her. Real good. Ha ha ha," Still laughing, Sabretooth hung up.
"You bastard. You just keep your filthy hands of her, you hear?" Scott yelled furiously and Logan had to hold him back if not he was to smash the intercom and phone system in rage.
"Cool down, Cyke. He can't hear you," Logan said and as Scott regained control, released him. Logan looked at the clock. Seven hours and counting. It was going to be a Hell of a day and the night didn't promise any better. He just prayed Marie was ok.

Part 3:
"Stay together," Cyclops said as he, Storm and Wolverine began to walk down the bridge. Fortunately, or not, depending on ones point of view, the bridge was closed for repair so everything seemed quiet.
"I don't like this," Storm said concerned and covered her and her team-mates in a cloud of fog as Cyclops had asked her to.
" I can smell something," Logan said and they all stopped.
" What?" Cyclops asked concerned.
"Fear," the word had barely escaped Logan's lips before a terrible sight met them; in one of the towers of the bridge, they saw Jean and Rogue. They were hung up by their hands on either side of one of the posts, up in top of one tower. Should they fall, they'll fall several metres down and get killed on impact as they touched the water. They both seemed unhurt but they were gagged so couldn't tell if it was true.
"What do you think, great leader? Not bad, is it?" Sabretooth said with a leer as he appeared from the shadows.
"Sabretooth! Cut them down. Now!" Cyclops demanded angrily, hiding his fear for their safety in a more known emotion; hate. Storm and Wolverine stood on either side of him, Logan with his claws at the ready and Storm ready to summon any of the forces of nature on Cyclops' signal.
"Can't do that. You see, the handcuffs…they are…shall we say special? First of all they can't be forcefully opened, they are made of the same metal as Wolverine's claws so even he can't cut through them," he explained with a evil smile. He looked lustfully at Storm who backed a step away from him. "Not even Silver Top here can cut through them with her lightning and neither can you," he nodded to Cyclops who had his right hand at the controls of his visor.
" What do you want?" Cyclops asked coldly.
" What do I want? Her," he nodded to Storm.
" Forget it, bub," Logan said dangerously and moved to stand protectively in front of the beautiful Goddess. Sabretooth laughed at his protective but also possessive action.
"You can't have her!" Cyclops said determined.
"That's enough. This wasn't the plan," Mystique said as she came forth from the shadows and looked with murder in her eyes at Logan.
"Aren't you dead?" Logan said irritated. He hated having to do the same job twice.
"Not yet."
"Well, I can fix that real quick," Logan growled and jumped at her.
"Logan, don't," Cyclops said but too late. The two of them were already locked in hand to hand combat.
" Stop, or I'll let one drop!" Sabretooth threatened and held up a hand held control panel. Logan drew away from Mystique who gave him a smile for her victory.
"You're bluffing!" Logan stated but drew back to stand besides Storm again.
"No, I'm not. The handcuffs on the women can only be released by this panel. But…." He glanced with malice in his eyes at Cyclops. "..only one of them can drop. When one fall the other will be locked in place and can't fall. The one who's alive can be brought down by any of you as the metal releases it hold on her."
" What are you saying?" Cyclops asked shocked, hoping to be wrong. Was he to…
"It's real simple. Who has always prevented Eric from succeeding? The X-men. Who leads the X-men? Cyclops. Kill the leader and a new rises in his place. Break the leader and you break the team," Mystique explained simply. She saw the X-men's distress written in their faces. "Oh, we aren't that cruel. We'll even let you choose. So, who's it to be, Cyclops? One dies and one lives. You decide."
"God damn it! You can't do this," Cyclops yelled frustrated. They couldn't ask this of him. They just couldn't.
"Of course we can always let Sabretooth decide and then fight over the life of the other one but she'll be an afoul easy target up there and as you can see…" Mystique nodded behind her as man came flying and landed beside her…" we have an ally who can do the job very fast. Want to see who'll get to her first? Storm or Michael here," she nodded to the young mutant who had just landed.
"Don't do this," Cyclops said pained and Storm heard something in his voice she had never heard before; pleading.
"Tick-tock…Better think fast, hero. Sabretooth isn't the most patient of men," Mystique taunted.
" Why you…" Logan began furiously and advanced at her.
" Ah ha, I wouldn't do that if I was you. No matter how fast you are I can still push the button and one will fall," Sabretooth warned and Logan backed down. He looked at Cyclops for ideas for he had none and saw the other man's distress written in his body language and tightening of his jaw. Jean or Marie. He was glad he wasn't forced to choose. But if he were he knew whom he would choose. Marie. She was like the daughter he had never had and he would die, kill or let anyone be killed for her. Even Dr. Jean Grey who he was fond of. In time his desire for her could even have turned into love.

Part 4:
Scott felt like he was in the middle of the worst nightmare of his life. This was too much. They couldn't ask this of him. They just couldn't. How would he ever be able to live with himself, knowing he had killed a person? On the other hand it was better to save one than lose both. Forbidden thoughts came to his mind:

I love Jean and I barely know Marie. Jean is 33 and has lived a good life while Marie is just a child of 17 with her whole life in front of her. Jean has a family and the prospect of a good future with children while Marie has no family who'll claim her and she will never have children as none can touch her. Jean is an X-man and fights for the cause while Marie is a student whose powers we can't use in a fight as she'll get as affected by the person she absorbs as he will be wounded by her hands. I love Jean. I need Jean. If I choose Jean, Marie will die and Logan will hate me if not outright kill me in rage. If I choose Marie, I'll never be able to live with myself again.

All those thoughts ran through Scott's brain in under a minute and he came to one conclusion; he couldn't choose. No matter which choice he made, he'll regret it. He now saw how smart this set-up really was; no matter what he said, if he made a choice or not, one would die and it would be his fault.
"Decide, hero. Time's running out," Mystique said hardly. Scott looked desperately at Storm and Logan, hoping they had a plan or some way out of this that he hadn't thought of.
"I'm sorry, my friend. I can't help you this time," Storm admitted sadly, tears coming to her eyes as she knew as he did that no matter what, they would lose a friend tonight. Scott looked at Logan.
" I….choose Marie!" Logan grunted pained. He didn't want Jean to die yet he wanted Marie to live. He had made tough decisions in his life yet none as hard as the one Scott was facing; Save your lover and kill a student or kill your lover and save a student.

Part 5:
* Scott, are you ok?* Jean's mental voice came weak through his chaotic mind.
* Jean! Oh, dear God. Thank Heavens. Are you ok? I…I don't know what to do. Help me,* his thoughts flew to her over the distance between them.
*Open your mind to me. It'll be faster for me to know what is happening that way.*

Just hearing her voice again brought some sense of peace to him. He did as she asked and let her mental fingers gently probe his mind. He felt her shock and fear, as she understood their situation.
*We both know what you must do,* Jean's voice came to him but she had cut their report off. He couldn't read her feelings yet she could read his.
* I can't choose! Don't ask it of me,* Scott thought desperately.
* I'll never do that, love. Never. That's why I have chosen for you.*

It took Scott a few seconds to realize what she meant.
* No!!! Jean, don't do it. I need you. I love you. Don't leave me.*

She read his sadness and anguish and he 'felt' her melancholic smile.
* I have to, don't you see? She deserves so much from life. I have felt and seen all I wished to see. I have found you. I found my one true love. She has yet to do that.*

With her thought came a sense of love, sadness and acceptance of her fate.
* Don't. Please don't,* Scott begged desperately.
* I'm sorry,* she thought sadly and Scott raised his eyes to look at her. The others did the same and Jean undid her handcuffs with her telekinetic powers and started to fall to the ground with great speed, knowing that Marie was now safe.
"* Noooo!*" Scott screamed mentally and physically and ran to the side of the bridge. Storm started to fly to Jean's aid but Michael interfered and they started to fight. Logan jumped at Sabretooth and seemed alight with rage.
* Jean, please….I love you,* Scott thought and saw that she was falling into the ocean. If it had been hard ground he might have been able to soften her fall with his eye beams but not in water. With her speed she would hit the water like it was concrete.
* Scott, open your eyes and look at me. Really look at me,* Jean sent to him and this time he felt fear and sadness from her. Her mental control was slipping. If only she had been more trained then she might have been able to levitate herself down.
* No!!! I can't do that*
* Scott, I'm going to die. At least let me decide how to go. Do this. For me,* Jean sent to him, her panic growing as she neared the water.
* Nooo!* Scott sent in anguish. He couldn't do what she asked. He couldn't kill her. He looked over the railing and so wished for a miracle. He saw Storm and Michael fight but he couldn't shoot Michael with his deadly blasts without wounding, maybe killing Storm as well.
* Love, I don't want to die like this. Let me die with you. As a part of you. It'll be fast and painless.*

Even as she sent the thought Scott sensed her doubt.
* I…I can't.* Scott thought pained, tears running down his face. A mental command was said and Scott's visor was torn off. He immediately closed his eyes.
* Don't do this, Jean. Don't let me do this,* he begged even as he felt his mind weakening under her mental demand.
* I'm sorry, Scott. I'm…afraid. This way will be less ….painful.*

Even her mental voice held tears.
* Don't…* He felt himself slipping and even as he fought her he knew he was losing. Against his will his eyes was forced opened and he could see her fall again. The next minutes ran as in slow-motion for Scott. He saw and felt the energy leaving his eyes and run down towards Jean's falling form.
* I love you, Scott. Please forgive me for this,* Jean sent softly.
* I forgive you. I love you so much. I …I can't do this without you,* Scott's unhappy thoughts reached her and she sent a last wave of love through their link to him.
* I'll love you. Always.*
* And I you,* Scott thought and saw his energy beam nearing her.
" * Don't leave me!* " He yelled mentally and psychically in anguish but it was too late. His blasts reached her and Scott doubled over on the ground in pain as their link was totally opened as she lost control and so transmitted her feelings to him. The pain was intense but left quickly.
* Love….You* Her thoughts, the last she had thought on this world, reached him a few minutes after her form disappeared in a blaze of fire.
* Don't leave me,* he thought miserably but it was too late. Where her loving presence had always been in his mind there was only emptiness. A emptiness so cold it drove him to the edge of madness.
"* Jean*" He yelled so loud he was sure every telepath and person in a 100 miles radius had heard him. He hung his head in defeat. She was truly gone. He had killed her. He had killed the only woman…the only person who had truly loved him.

Part 6:
" Scott…Scott help me with Marie!" Storm's voice brought him out of the darkness of his mind and he slowly got up from the ground. Looking with his hands he found his visor and put it on. He saw Storm coming with Marie in her arms and when Storm landed, took the frightened young woman from her arms and guided her to the side. He wished he felt something in that moment but he didn't. He just felt...empty as if the reality of it all had yet to hit him. He saw that Michael was out cold, probably from Storm's lightning bolts. Logan still had trouble with Sabretooth as they were equally strong and both had healing factor.
" Logan, move away from him. Now!" Scott commanded as an ice-cold rage took him. Logan moved away from Sabretooth and Scott came towards him, his visor glowing a dangerous red.
" Was this your idea?" Scott asked, his voice so cold and hard that Storm barely recognised it.
" Yes, I …" Sabretooth began but never got to say anything else. A beam of red energy set on full intensity burned him to a crisp.
" Ahhhhhhh" Sabretooth cried out in agony as he burned up. A terrible silence fell over the battlefield as he was gone, nothing but ashes to the wind.
" That was for Jean," Scott said lowly, but his voice held no emotions.
" Scott! By the Light of the Goddess, what have you done?" Ororo whispered shocked.
" Victor!!" Mystique cried and looked ready to jump at Scott.
" Go ahead, I'll blast you down where you stand," Scott said coldly and Mystique drew back from the venom in his voice. She turned into a strong man and carried Michael away from the scene.
" I'll be back to avenge Victor," she promised as she went away.
"Try and you die," Scott promised with just as much certainty as she had uttered her threat. When the four X-men were alone, Rogue nestled against Logan's chest, crying, and Storm and Logan looked troubled at Scott, an unnatural stillness fell over the bridge.
" Scott, is Jean…." Storm began softly. Scott looked at her, his emotions as unreadable as ever.
" She's ...gone. She's gone."

It was as if he came out from a trance and tears started to run down his cheeks.
"She's truly gone."

He sank to his knees on the bridge and cried for the first time in as long as he could remember. He felt like his world was crumbling and his heart was breaking in a million pieces.

Epilogue:
Scott Summers sat in his office Saturday night a little over two. This morning he had been too tired to talk to Jean and now she was no more. His grip around his Bourbon glass tightened and his eyes began to water again.

Oh, Jean. Why did you have to leave me all alone? He tried to picture her for him; her eyes, her hair, her face but all he saw was himself blasting her, killing her. With a suddenness which surprised even himself he threw the glass against the wall and it broke in a 1000 pieces reminding him of the way his heart felt right now. He picked up a picture of Jean standing on his desk. She was smiling at him, looking so happy and trustful. And he had betrayed that trust. He had killed the light in her eyes. Him and only him. He let himself sink to the floor of the office and cried. Cried so hard, he thought he should die. The moon bathed him in its silver light through the office window, and from a distance it looked like he was praying which he might was. Praying to get Jean back or praying to join her, no one knew. Soon the stars gave way for the sunlight but this morning brought no warmth and no light to Scott's life for his heart was dead and his life was empty. He was alone. Alone and cold.

The End

Continues in "Choosing You"