Title: Meet the Family
Pairings: Akuroku, Soiku, Zemyx, CloudxSephiroth, LeonxSeifer
Summary: Somehow when Roxas said, "Come for a quiet dinner to meet my family," Axel wasn't expecting an overprotective older brother and his psycho husband, a bubbly twin with a tendency to pout, a silver-haired ex-boyfriend, three mischievous teenage girls who keep trying to take a picture of his unmentionables and a pop star who wants to screw him underwater!
Rated: M
They say that in every relationship, there is a climax, in which the relationship has two options. It can strengthen, or it can completely blow to fucking bits.
And while the second option sounded visibly pleasing, Axel had to admit that he wasn't about to just let his relationship obliterate just because Roxas' family was completely and utterly psycho.
At this exact second, he found himself sitting at the Haiku's dinner table, all inhabitants eyes trained on him, waiting for an answer to the painfully awkward and no doubt humiliating question that had just been asked in relation to his and Roxas' bedroom activities.
And naturally, the first response that entered Axel's mind was something along the lines of "fuck off and mind your own damn business." But of course, saying that would lead him down the path of the second option of the resulting climax, and that would land him alone and with blue balls.
How did he work himself into this hole? Well, one could say it all started with a plane, a ring, and a crazy cow named Isabel…
Then
6:10 p.m.
Axel stepped into the Ansem the Wise Airport that morning, happy, excited, and just a little bit tipsy from all of the free alcohol they serve on first class. His emerald green eyes narrowed in search of the one person known to man that could make his heart speed up and slow down at the exact same time. His eyes zipped past the hordes of woman gaping up at him, through the airport restaurants, over the heads of the screaming children, and finally landed on his target.
Roxas Haiku, the blond and beautiful love of his life.
Yes, Roxas Haiku, the beauty currently surrounded by the beasts, a.k.a. horny single woman who wanted to be apart of the Mile High Club with Roxas as their pilot. Feeling a little put off that Roxas wasn't throwing himself in his arms like in the movies, Axel made his way over to his boyfriend, his gaze pointed dejectedly towards the ground.
Now don't get him wrong, Axel wasn't a sensitive person. Hell, Roxas was the uke; he was the overly sensitive teddy bear that cried one time when he told Axel he would be staying the night at Pence's house and might not see him in two days.
But still…there was something appealing in an overly romantic reunion, especially after being separated for exactly three months, two weeks, and six days. Not that he was counting. Sure, they talked on the phone every night and sent e-mails and text messages to each other nearly all day. And yeah, okay, they wrote overly sappy love letters just to make the separation more dramatic. But even with all of this, to be able to hold Roxas in his arms…it would be a dream come true.
Cell phone bill at the end of the month, and…just for the heck of it, add a trip to the emergency room for falling out of your chair: $2500
Scented parchment paper with pretty hearts bordering the edges and an 'I love you' memo on the bottom of the page: $25
Hershey's kisses and a box of Godiva chocolate: $35
Being able to run into the arms of the one you love after a long separation and what seemed like years of anticipation for this one moment: priceless.
Axel brushed this thought away quickly. Why the hell was he comparing his life to a Master card commercial? He was always doing this! Imagining him and Roxas in different romantic movie scenes…and in the end, he was always left feeling disappointed that real life just didn't measure up, you know?
As he got closer to the crowd, he could hear some of the comments of one of the girls trying to keep Roxas' attention.
"So, you said your name was Roxas, right?" One girl asked. He told them his name?!
"Uh, yes…why?"
Giggles. "Because I was wondering if you wanted to go to over to the Uno's by Terminal Three and maybe have some lunch? I can uh…make it worth your while."
He could hear Roxas' clear his throat. "I really should be heading over to the Arrivals gate to pick up my friend."
FRIEND?!
Axel clenched his fists angrily and turned on his heels. Fine, he saw how it was. He would go to baggage claim, order a taxi, go home, and call Roxas from there. He didn't need romance. He didn't need anything!
Okay, okay, so maybe Axel was a little bit sensitive.
Heading over to the section where he knew his particular luggage was, Axel balanced on his heels, thinking about what he would do once he got home. Should he unpack, ignore Roxas, or make dinner? So many choices….
Axel was just about to reach down and claim his one overly packed red suitcase, when a familiar, musical voice froze his insides down to the core.
"Where the hell do you get off?"
Axel stiffened and slowly turned around. He immediately wished he hadn't. There in front of him stood Roxas, his arms folded and his blue eyes narrowed so dangerously he might have been dead if he had heat-vision. But the one thing that rooted him to the spot, even as his luggage went whirling away, was the slight quiver of the blonde's jutted lip and the trembling of his small and fragile body.
It suddenly dawned on him. This is Roxas!
"R-Roxas?" Axel managed to choke out. That must have been it for Roxas. The boy jumped into Axel's arms, wrapping his legs around his torso and burying his face in Axel's sturdy shoulders. Axel could feel tears soaking through his shirt, but he couldn't bring it in himself to care.
"How could you leave me like that?" Roxas demanded cutely, his voice muffled by the fabric. Axel breathed in his sea breeze scent.
"You seemed busy, I didn't want to interrupt." Axel murmured into Roxas' hair, ignoring the looks they were receiving from the passer-bys. Roxas made an irritated sound in the back of his throat as they separated.
"Axel, those girls…we were just talking. That's no reason for you to just leave the terminal. Why didn't you just come over?" Roxas pointed out as he dried his eyes, watching Axel bend over and grab his suitcase. The little blonde resisted the urge to lick his lips.
"I told you; I didn't want to interrupt. I'm glad to see you, though." Axel replied, pausing upon noticing the direction of Roxas' eyes. He smirked. "I guess you're glad to see me too."
Roxas' eyes snapped up and he blushed. "Sure, of course."
Axel laughed and wrapped an arm around Roxas' shoulders. "Aw, I've missed you, Roxy baby."
Roxas melted in his arms. "I missed you too."
Of course, at the time, Axel didn't know that Roxas was about to completely screw him over.
9:45 p.m.
Axel gazed at Roxas over his wine glass, twirling its contents in a distracted fashion. Tonight was the night he was going to do it. Admittedly, Axel had wanted to do this for a long time now, but being away from Roxas, even for three months, had made him realize just how much he needed this blonde to be a permanent part of his life. So he was going to do it.
He… just had to work up the courage first.
"-and then they said, 'hey, Roxas, are you single?' So I ended up mentioning that we were dating and then they were like, 'hey, how about…" Roxas was blubbering with a slight flush on his face, waving around his fork as he spoke. Axel smiled affectionately. Roxas was adorable when he was excited and nervous like this. The question was….why? Why was he nervous?
"Which comes to an important question…I have to ask you." Roxas finished seriously, putting his fork down and locking his blue eyes with Axel's. Axel's heart just about stopped. Roxas was asking him the same question!
"That's good because I was going to ask you the same thing!" Axel exclaimed excitedly, reaching in his pocket and fingering the small little black box he had been carrying for about a year now. Roxas' eyes lit up, and he reached into his pocket as well. Axel's heart sped up.
"Let's say it at the same time; it'll be more romantic." Axel insisted, unable to wipe away the happy grin that was spreading on his face. Roxas nodded eagerly.
"Alright! Okay, one…"
"Two…"
"Three!" Both men whipped out the articles they were hiding. For Axel, he took out a beautiful diamond ring, one that cost him more than a month's salary. Roxas, however, ripped out an old, torn photograph of a large family.
"Will you come for a quiet dinner to meet my family?"
"Roxas Haiku, will you marry me?"
Axel and Roxas stared at each other incredulously. "What did you just ask?!" They both cried out at the same time. The restaurant was silent, all eyes on the pair who was currently spewing out obscenities in surprise.
"Fuck, Roxas!"
"Shit, Axel!"
"Damn it"
"Oh, hell!"
"Son of a bitch!"
"I'm such a fucking ass-hole!"
Axel looked at Roxas sympathetically. "No you're not. I'm the ass-hole. I shouldn't have asked you that so soon, and-"
The expression on Roxas' face stopped him. He didn't look alarmed…in fact he looked…
"Hold on! I never said no, you dummy." Roxas pointed out with an eye roll. Axel gave him a blank look and for a second they just stared at each other. And then, a blindingly happy smile lit up Roxas' entire face, and this glorious joy caused the whole room to smile at them in awe.
"Ask me again." Roxas insisted, his eyes watering up slightly. Axel cleared his throat and walked over to Roxas, getting down on one knee and presenting him with the ring, opening the box as custom.
"Roxas Haiku, I love you more than I love myself. I love your perfections, I love your flaws, I love how you always babble when you're nervous, and the way you scold me and it seems like you're mad, but you're really just worried, I love the way scream out my name when we're making love, and I love the way you just look at me sometimes, like now….I love you. Will you marry me?"
The tears were rolling down his face like cataracts. "Fuck yes, I'll marry you Axel!" Roxas cried, throwing his arms around Axel. The restaurant erupted in applause.
And Axel was floating on cloud nine.
10:30 p.m.
"I still can't believe you said yes." Axel marveled for the fifth time since they were in the car. Roxas was driving, seeing how Axel was too intoxicated on love to do much of anything. The now engaged blonde rolled his eyes, but the smile had yet to vanish.
"Whatever, Pyro. I did. So you can shut up now."
Axel obliged. He would do anything for him now.
"I guess I'd better uh, give you some warnings." Roxas coughed, shifting in his seat. Axel, who had shut his eyes, opened one glittering green eye and narrowed it at Roxas in suspicion.
"For what?"
Roxas hesitated before shaking his head. "Uh…for my driving…?"
Axel gave him a disbelieving look. "You're a horrible liar. But…luckily…jet lag is catching up with me." The red head began to nod off slightly. Roxas sighed contently and gazed over at him. His fiancé was sleeping quietly, his soft ebony eyelashes fluttering against his pale cheeks and his breath coming out in short wisps.
Roxas melted again. Axel was so beautiful…it was unbelievable that he would choose him to be his husband. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was what is father would think…and that, was out of Roxas' control.
5:35 A.M.
"This is the sweetest moment
This is what we both wanted
We are the same
But we're so different"
When Axel's eyes fluttered open, the first thing he noticed was that…damn…they weren't in Kansas anymore. Which, okay, so they never exactly were since they lived in Manhattan; Axel lived in an apartment on 49th Street close to Broadway and Roxas lived in a condo with his roommate, a punk named Fayner or something, over near Union City. But still. His point was valid.
"I un-tie your shoe laces
We touch each other's faces
We start to sweat
And the sky turns red"
Axel followed the melodic sound to see Roxas, singing like an angel as he drove with a happy little smile on face. He was still driving? But…Roxas had like, no sense of direction. Axel began rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. How long had he been asleep?
"Tell me that you know
Life's not fair
If we're gonna make it
Then we're half way there"
Axel peered over the dashboard to gaze out the big sized window, and what he saw surprised him. Cows. Huge, fat, black and white cows. Just where the hell were they?
"Tell me that you know
That I really care
I swear"
"Roxas?" Axel asked out groggily, clearing his throat. Roxas didn't even look up. He just continued to sing whatever song he was singing about sugar or something. Axel bristled. He did NOT like to be ignored, and he especially didn't like to not know where he was. He wasn't like Roxas; Axel always liked to know where he was going, not where he was from.
"Let's melt the sugar!"
"ROXAS!"
Axel shouted at the same time Roxas hit a high note, causing both to wince as Roxas' voice broke in a particularly embarrassing squeal. The blonde flashed him a glare before returning his baby blue eyes to the road.
"What? I was singing." Roxas huffed, letting a small pout make its way onto his face. Axel fought the urge to coo and comfort Roxas before his pride bitch slapped him. Be a man!
"And it was really beautiful, but do you think you could stop for one second and tell me where the hell we are?" Axel retorted firmly, proudly nodding to his pride. Roxas gave him a carefully blank look, one that Axel knew Roxas only used for when he didn't want to tell him something.
"We're in a car, Axel." Roxas snorted, rolling his eyes innocently like Axel was the stupidest person in the world. The red head rolled his eyes as well and turned to look out the window in frustration. A particularly determined cow was running next to the car, trying to catch up with them. The other cows were giving it weird looks before going back to eating the grass. Axel scoffed. Crazy ass hamburger.
"Uh, yeah, I caught that, thanks." Axel replied, stubbornly crossing his arms. He stole a glance at Roxas' face. It was cute in a sexy way, as always, but now it was torn between looking guilty, looking stubborn and looking annoyed. He was chewing on his lip furiously before he met Axel's gaze with a frown.
"Fine, I'll tell you where we're going."
"Where?"
"You really don't wanna know, though."
"I'll be fine, where the hell are we going?"
"My parents' house. To meet the whole family."
Roxas glanced over sharply at Axel when he fell silent. "Are you mad?"
Axel's eyes had widened in horror and his hands were clutching the door as if he was about to jump out at anytime. Nonetheless, the red head did manage to catch the flash of panic that had crossed Roxas' face, so he tried to pull himself together.
"It's just…I don't do parents."
Roxas snorted. "Well, I don't do babies, so either you grow up and meet my parents or I drop you off right here next to that psycho cow- let's name it Isabel- and we never speak again."
And so, that's how Axel found himself completely screwed over…and about to meet Daddy and Mommy Roxas.
9:00 A.M.
Roxas' house was fucking huge. Axel had never seen anything like it. It was a huge farm looking house complete with animals loitering in the yard and a rooster perched on the top. But oddly, there was an apartment like quality to the house, like, from the outside, each level appeared to be its own little house.
"Remember, just breathe, avoid eye contact, and don't mention anything about that thing I do to you late at night." Roxas stressed, taking off his wedding ring with a frown. Axel smirked at the last comment, but then he noticed what Roxas was doing. Hey! He spent a lot of money on the ring, and he wanted Roxas to flaunt it dammit!
"Sorry, but…I'm not sure what Mom will do if she finds out I want to marry you before they've met you first." Roxas explained with a guilty smile. Axel returned it goofily. Roxas said he wanted to marry him! His mind turned to a big pile of goo.
Roxas and Axel, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes…
"FOCUS! This is no picnic! Sephiroth will fucking kill you if you're not careful!" Roxas shouted. Axel's bubble of little red and blonde haired babies popped. Roxas looked on the verge of a freak-out. Okay, big Axel needed to calm little Roxy down.
"Sorry, baby. I'll behave. Besides, aren't I the one who is supposed to be freaking out? Don't you worry about a thing. Just sit there and look beautiful like you always do and let me handle the irrational fear. Now let's go." Axel said confidently. Roxas just shook his head and followed him up to the door.
"Sora! You give me back my wonder-bra right now!"
"I need it!"
"Oooh! Harder, Seph, harder!"
"Who ate the last fucking cookies? I made those with my sweat and tears!"
"Oh, God! That's fucking gross! Bleh!"
"Cloud! Demyx threw up on the kitchen floor!"
"No! Bad Pluto! Don't eat it! Damn it!"
"Can, uh, can we please stop with the language?"
"Sora! Do something, dammit!"
"Why, you seem pretty fine with doing something to Sephiroth. You're doing enough for the both of us!"
Axel turned to Roxas with a hesitant expression before glancing back at the car. There was still time to save himself. Roxas scowled and brushed by him.
"Stop being a baby, Axel. Come on, they're not so bad!" Roxas explained, whipping out his key and opening the door. The smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies, barf, wet dog, and sex entered their noses. Axel's smirk dropped. Did a tornado hit their house? The interior was like a pack of pigs had a birthday party inside!
"It's Roxas! I'm home!" Roxas shouted happily. There was silence throughout the house until a joint cry of "ROXAS!" vibrated through the walls. What seemed like millions of pairs of feet hit the ground and the stairs, and Axel could feel a sense of impending doom frown upon him.
The first thing that knocked into him was a ball of brunette.
"Oh Roxas! I thought you'd never come home! Where's-" The ball of energy paused, staring down at the groaning figure under him. "You're not Roxas."
Roxas laughed and waved. "Uh, Sora? I'm over here."
'Sora' squealed and clambered up from Axel and into Roxas' awaiting arms. Axel blinked for a couple of seconds. That thing…it looked like Roxas with brown hair.
"Sora, this is my boyfriend, Axel. Axel, this is my twin, Sora."
Sora turned to Axel with a curious but contemplating look. He strode up to him and began poking him and prodding him in different places, causing Axel to widen his eyes at Roxas. What was he doing? Roxas just shook his head and winked.
Finally, Sora backed off and nodded. He turned to Roxas with a happy grin. "Alright, Roxas. He has the Sora sex stamp of fuckable approval! This guy is a hottie!"
Axel's jaw dropped. The what stamp of what?
Roxas burst out laughing, pointing to Axel's face. "Axel, don't look like that, that's a good thing!"
The red head opened his mouth to retort, until an earsplitting scream jerked his whole body. The scent of cookies surrounded the air, and a blonde young girl who looked kind of like the twins, in a way, came running down the stairs.
"Roxas! You're finally home!" The girl sobbed, rushing into Roxas' arms. She began to cry, causing Sora to snort and make his way back over to Axel, staring up at him. Axel reflexively took a step away. Still, it didn't stop the staring.
"What?" Axel finally snapped exasperatedly, as Roxas and the girl continued to hug. Sora just blinked up at him and shrugged after a moment's pause.
"Nothing. You're just really tall. And you remind me of fire." The boy admitted with a smile. Axel blinked for a couple of seconds before a slow smirk made its way back onto his face.
"Really now?" Axel loved fire…and for Sora to say that…it was touching…
"Sora, don't even get him started on fire." Roxas groaned. Axel snapped his eyes up to Roxas and winked.
"You know it turns you on. Especially at night…"
Both Namine and Sora were looking curiously over at Roxas now, and it was Roxas' turn to blush and squirm under their stares. "Shut up."
"I'm Namine." Namine shyly introduced herself, holding out her hand for Axel to shake. Axel peered down at her. Boy was she fragile looking. Was it even safe to shake her hand? She wouldn't break into a thousand tiny little pieces?
"Oh, yeah, sorry Nami. Yeah, Axel this is Namine, my little sister, and Nami this is Axel, my boyfriend."
Axel took her hand and shook it softly, as to not spook her too much. He knew he could be a very intimidating looking guy. But before he could say anything to put her at ease, because she seriously looked out of her element, he was greeted by another blonde, one of which was pointing a very wide sword in his face.
Axel glared at the attractive, spiky haired, older looking Roxas with bemusement. "Get that fucking sword out of my face."
The older sibling merely pressed the tip closer to his skin. "Who the fuck are you, and why the fuck are you in my house, touching my sister?"
Axel sighed, suddenly aggravated. See, this was exactly why he didn't do parents, and why he definitely didn't do older brothers. They were psycho!
"CLOUD!" Roxas shouted, angrily stomping his foot. "Cut that shit out! This is my boyfriend Axel!"
'Cloud' merely glanced at Roxas before switching his attention back to Axel. The latter sneered at him in annoyance. "Well? You think you can point your huge ass sword somewhere else?"
Cloud let out a deep breath and took the sword away, placing it in the holster on his back. He looked over at Roxas, who looked angry, disappointed and a little sad. Cloud softened and went over to Roxas, taking him in his arms.
"Sorry Rox. Overprotective brother mode took over again. My fault." Cloud whispered into Roxas' hair, giving him a tight squeeze. "I'm glad your home, though."
"I wouldn't worry too much about Cloud." Namine whispered shyly over to him and Axel gave her a grateful smile. "Really?"
"Yeah. It's actually Sephiroth that will chop up your Oscar Mayor Wiener." Sora added helpfully, pointing over at the stairs. "And he's right there."
"Axel, correct?" A dark, cold, calculating voice called to him, causing Axel's spine to stiffen in spite of the defiant smirk that remained on his face.
"Yeah, that's me."
"I truly do not care who you are. Just know that the blonde who attacked you earlier is mine and mine alone. He belongs to me." The tall, pale, quite gorgeous silver haired man informed him. There was no hitch or change of pitch. No anger. Just a simple statement. But Axel could damn well hear the psychotic-ness in his voice and the pure unadulterated warning that came across as nonchalance.
Axel made a face at Cloud. "You can have him. But Roxas…he's mine."
Sephiroth gave him a cool look before merely walking past him, stopping to give Roxas a nod of acknowledgement, before making his way into the kitchen to make some 'Demy' guy clean up his mess.
Axel watched him walk off with a slightly bewildered expression. There was something…a little off about him. He was so distracted in his thoughts that he didn't notice three girls creep up slowly behind him, to the amusement of Sora and Namine.
He did notice, however, the firm squeeze of his left butt check.
"Gah-hey!" Axel shouted, earning the attention of Roxas and Cloud. Axel swirled around to glare at three teenage girls, one blonde (which he assumed to be Roxas' little little sister) with a sleeked back high ponytail and an orange zip up shirt, a brunette with shoulder-length hair and a long purple skirt, and a high fashioned looked brunette with a strange Mohawk-like hairstyle and a short black dress.
"Niiiiice!" The blonde giggled, and all three burst into laughter. Cloud didn't seem to find it funny, although Roxas had a little smile on his face Axel didn't quite get the joke, either.
"Rikku, treat Roxas' seme with respect." Cloud scolded them. Axel didn't know who to glare at first- Cloud for being such a huge ass hypocrite or Roxas for snorting and looking amused at the 'respect' comment.
"Sorry Cloud." 'Rikku' apologized, rolling her eyes with the other girls. She thrust out a hand to Axel. "I'm Rikku. And behind me are Yuna and Paine. And we like hot guys. That means you!"
Axel took her hand and nodded his head hesitantly. "Right." He turned to Roxas with an exasperated look. Was that it?
Roxas smiled and shook his head. "No, you still have to meet Dem and then my mom."
Axel cursed under his breath, but Sora seemed to hear it. "Filter alert! Filter alert!"
"Weren't you the same guy who told me I was fuckable?" Axel retorted, peering down at Sora in amusement. The brunette squirmed under Cloud's glare and shifted his eyes to the side.
"I don't recall that."
Suddenly a tall blonde boy entered the room, sipping on some water, looking a little green. Axel's eyes bugged out of his head. Demyx?! The singer Demyx?! His last name was Haiku?! Demyx was one of the hottest singers out there at the moment, and Axel was a big fan of his work. Songs like 'The Kill', 'Rooftops', and 'Rebirthing' were a few of the major hits, but almost all his songs ended up as instant favorites.
"Rox! I didn't know you were back! How are you-" Demyx rambled excitedly, before pausing upon noticing Axel. Almost immediately some color found its way back into the singer's cheeks, and his excited, ill expression changed to an expression of sudden want.
"Hi. W-who are you?" Demyx asked with a slight stutter, ignoring the widening of all of his siblings' eyes. Axel didn't even seem to notice. All he noticed was that finally there was someone normal in the family.
"I'm Axel. Roxas' fi-" Axel received an anxious look from Roxas, "Roxas' boyfriend. And you're Demyx, right? I didn't know you were related to Roxas; I'm a fan of your work."
Demyx laughed softly and licked his lips. "Thank you Axel. That's means a lot coming from someone like you."
Axel frowned in confusion. "'Someone like me?'"
"Someone so gorgeous."
There were so many mixed reactions in the house it was actually kind of...no. It wasn't funny at all. Axel blinked in surprise, Roxas growled, the three teen girls giggled, Namine sighed, Cloud shot Demyx a warning look and Sora just shook his head and went in the kitchen to get a cookie.
But Axel had survived. He had survived meeting Roxas' family, and that was all that mattered.
For now.
11:00 A.M.
Roxas was not happy.
Cloud nearly attacked Axel, Rikku and her little demon friends grabbed his ass, Sephiroth threatened him (don't think he didn't notice that), and Demyx fucking hit on him. The fuck? What part of 'boyfriend' did Dem not understand? And it was so obvious that Demy had a thing for Axel since he just looked so wanton, and he stuttered like Porky Pig. Both were the qualities of a Demyx in love. Or worse…in lust.
The only two in his family who acted with any damn sense was Namine and Sora. But that was to be expected. Sora and Roxas were twins and therefore he knew what made Roxas happy, and Namine was always their favorite, and the trio went everywhere together. They'd even had the same friends.
Those two at least knew how to make Roxas happy. And the only way to make Roxas happy was through making Axel happy.
And he could tell, even behind Axel's forced smiles and his fake little laugh, Axel was not happy.
"Roxy…" Axel murmured, turning over in the sheets. At the moment, the red head beauty was sleeping peacefully in Roxas' old bed, uncharacteristically clinging to Roxas as Roxas would have done if reversed.
The blonde ran a hand through Axel's fiery red hair with a softened sigh. This was going to be a long visit.
But at least his siblings seemed to like him.
11:00 A.M.
"I don't like him." Cloud announced from his seat on the counter, ripping into a bag of Doritos with his teeth. Sephiroth rolled his eyes and continued typing away on his laptop while the remaining Haikus threw their snacks at Cloud in disagreement.
"You don't like anybody Roxas brings home." Rikku pointed out with a frustrated sigh.
Cloud looked insulted and a little shocked. "What? That's not true at all!"
"Don't lie to yourself, Cloud. Remember Hayner? Then there was Seifer, Pence for a while, and then Riku. All of which had mysterious scars and all of which you didn't like." She commented lightly, shifting a little to give Yuna better access to her neck. "A little to the left, Yunie."
Yuna gave her a look behind her back but continued to massage her shoulders.
"I can't believe you would say that! I had good reason to dislike them being with my little Roxas!" Cloud retorted, folding his arms.
"Oh really, and just what reason was that?" Rikku scoffed. "This outta be good."
"Well," Cloud began, biting his lip in thought, "If I recall correctly, Hayner was a horrible influence on him, since Roxas had never gotten in as much trouble in high school as he did when he was with Hayner, Seifer treated him like shit and was a grade-A jerk except when he was stealing Roxas' virginity at night, Pence was too confused to really commit to Roxas, and Riku…"
Sora looked up from his cookies at once, staring at Cloud in interest. "Riku what?"
Cloud gave him an irritated look before turning back to Rikku. "Riku was-"
"The perfect boyfriend with the perfect ass." Paine deadpanned as all the girls in the room burst out in laughter. The men just stared at them. Sora finally cleared his throat and placed his hands on his hips.
"Don't talk about him like he's a piece of meat! Riku was the perfect boyfriend." Sora exclaimed. It was silent in the kitchen, before Demyx finally spoke up.
"Yeah…for Roxas. He was Roxas' boyfriend." He emphasized, putting away all of the cleaning materials he'd used for cleaning up his mess. Sora blushed and looked down at his feet.
"Y-yeah. I know."
"Oh, I think you're the last one that should be talking, Dem." Rikku sneered, twisting out of Yuna's hands. "You're totally planning to take Axel away from Roxas!"
Namine gasped and placed her hand on her mouth. "Demy!"
Demyx's eyes widened and he shook his head vigorously, glaring at Rikku in immense irritation. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Rikku, as usual."
"Hey, would you guys quit it? How old are you guys again? Ten and five?" Cloud shouted, coming up to stand in between them. Rikku huffed and turned away and Demyx rolled his eyes and folded his arms.
"Hypocrite." Rikku muttered under his breath.
"Brat." Demyx murmured back.
"I said quit it!" Cloud roared, shaking the whole room, and even managing to earn the attention of Sephiroth, who was eyeing him in aggravation.
"A little quiet would be appropriate, Cloud."
"Well, a little shut the fuck up would be appropriate as well, Seph."
"What is going on here?!" An angry voice yelled above the following arguments, causing each Haiku to freeze in fear. Hannah Haiku. An angry Hannah Haiku.
And trust the sons of daughters of Hannah Haiku: An angry Hannah Haiku was not a happy Haiku.
"I get a tearful phone call from Roxas telling me that no one is acting like they have any damn sense towards his boyfriend. What is going on here?" Hannah demanded, looking every bit as scary as an infuriated Sephiroth.
"Nothing." They all chimed together, every pair of eyes turning to the ground. It was a well known fake that none of the Haiku's could lie. None of them could lie to save their lives. Hannah sighed and ran a hand over her forehead- a habit of stress.
"Look. I don't know what's going on, and I probably don't want to know. All I know is that you all had better treat Roxas' boyfriend with some respect. In fact, over the course of today, I want each and every one of you to apologize to Axel in some way."
"But I didn't even do anything wrong!" Sora squeaked, while Namine nodded her head in helpless agreement. Hannah pursued her lips and considered it before nodding her head.
"Alright, then for you two I want you to somehow welcome him home. If you all are going to live in this house, I want you to treat everyone with respect."
"Seph and I don't live here. We're just visiting." Cloud muttered.
"Yeah, and my apartment is under construction, that's not my fault." Sora added under his breath. The famous Hannah Haiku glare of death was shot in their direction and both Cloud and Sora squirmed uncomfortably under her glare.
"Never mind."
Song Roxas was singing: Melt the Sugar by The Summer Obsession
A little something I've been working on...a three-shot! I want to expand my writing, and this is what resulted. So this is the first chapter to my three-shot, or three chapter story, and hopefully, after I post the next chapter to Klutz (that I know everyone's been waiting on), I'll post the next part as soon as possible.
If you can, please take the time to review. It really helps an author's abilities, and it gives them confidence. So yeah, please review!