Rating: PG **implied slash**
Disclaimers: I don't own them and none of this never happened. This is all just a product of my delusional mind
Notes: This takes place after the Smackdown episode where Edge unveiled his version of Kurt Angle's t-shirt.
~~~I Don't Suck!~~~
"Oh that's just freakin' great!" Kurt Angle fumed, as 'You Suck!' posters fluttered everywhere from out of his locker. He stooped down and gathered them off the floor, adding them to the handful he was already carrying.
"I'm gonna kill Edge!" he announced, trying to ignore the snickers from the other wrestlers in the locker room.
He grabbed his brand new 'You Suck' t-shirt from the locker where he had stuffed it earlier and threw it into his gym bag with the rest of his things, slung the bag over his shoulder and stormed out. He just wanted to get the hell out of here and back to his hotel room where he could fall asleep and get this rotten day over with.
..
.
An event staff member stopped him before he could reach the doors leading to the parking lot.
"Mr. Angle, I have an urgent message for you," she said, handing him an envelope.
Kurt ripped open the envelope and a piece of paper fell out and down to the ground. He didn't even have to look to know what the two words printed across the paper in bold letters were. He left the paper on the ground where it had fallen and stalked away.
..
.
When he finally got to the parking lot, Kurt slapped his forehead and groaned as he approached his car. Most people had 'wash me' written into the dirt of their cars- but Kurt's car boldly announced 'You Suck!' on his back window. Furious, he quickly wiped off his window and jumped inside, tossing the posters and his gym bag into the passenger seat. He turned on the car and nearly screamed in frustration as his entrance music blared over his car speakers- this version complete with an arena of 15,000 people chanting 'You Suck!' at the appropriate places.
"I'm gonna kill him," he muttered to himself, "I'm freakin' gonna kill that man!"
..
.
Kurt started to sigh in relief as he stood in front of the door to his hotel room, but then he realized that this would be a prime place for more of Edge's booby traps. Just as he'd thought, when he opened the door to the hotel room, he was greeted by a soft glow of light, even though he knew very well he hadn't left any lights on before going to the arena today. He walked slowly into the room, and noticed that the light was all coming from dozens of candles burning on the dresser. Kurt shook his head sadly as he realized that they'd been arranged to spell out the words 'You Suck'. He walked further into the room and stopped short at the sight that greeted him on his bed, drawing in an angry breath.
His beautiful blonde lover was sprawled across the bed, long legs spread suggestively, waiting for Kurt in nothing but a flimsy silk robe. The robe was left wide open, and the blonde's magnificent hard-on was proudly on display. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and gestured down at his erection, flashing his famous grin and looking at Kurt with hopeful green eyes. Kurt sighed, waving the collection of signs he had gathered at his lover.
"Darn it, Edge! How many times do I have to tell you no? I don't suck!"