Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

The role of Gianna really wasn't touched on with much in the Twilight saga. Having said that, I got to play some! Gianna is kind of off the wall a bit.

'Don't look up. Don't look up. Whatever you do, do not look up at him!', I think to myself as the lift doors open and perfection in the male form steps out. I can't help but look up from my computer screen, but I do it so fast no one is the wiser. I am one stealthy little mama when need be. I've got this down to a science. Target locked, and boy he most certainly looks loaded, if you know what I mean. I mentally wink at.. no one. And then shake my head at my own stupidity.

Want to know something about me? I am a total dork. That dorkiness comes out in full force when this man is anywhere near me.

He walks across the room, heading right for my desk. Ok, more like the double doors behind my desk. But still, it's close to me!

This is when I feel my heartbeat speed up. This is when I take a deep breath as he walks by, right on time to have his mouth-watering scent fill my nose, making my eyes cross and my head spin. Making me look at him like Paula Deen looks at butter. But I know he won't look at me, won't notice me. I'm just like the pieces of furniture in the stylish room. Simply there to be of some use, but not special enough to warrant him to stop and ..use me. My brain screams 'USE ME!' Because my oh my, how I wish to be useful for this man. Le sigh.

Who am I? I am Gianna Moretti: Secretary to Mr. Aro Giovanni, of Giovanni & Sons Law firm. The most successful law firm in the state of New York. And I happen to be hopelessly, patheticly, ass over elbows in love with Aro's grandson, Edward Masen. Even his name makes my girly bits swoon. We're talking little blue birds flying around my head like in cinderella, making wishes and wanting to hold out my foot for the glass slipper. I wonder if you can find glass slippers on Ebay? Anyway, back to Mr. Sex-on-two-legs.. This man is so fine that every woman in the building, upon seeing him enter, takes her wedding ring off and stores it in her desk drawer. Yeah, he's that hot.

Aro's only daughter, Isabella Giovanni married multi-billionaire Edward Masen, Sr. Of Masen corp: The leading pharmaceutical company in the United States, ranked top of the Fortune 500 list. And so it was a match made in socialite heaven. The gift of such a union was the one and only Edward Anthony Masen, heir to the Masen-Giovanni throne. And sweet baby Jesus, what a gift he was!

Edward has been on every posh list out there. He has been featured on Forbes Billionairs list. His handsome face has been on a few magazine covers as well: Businessweek, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fortune and Money Magazine have all had Mr. hot stuff Masen grace their magazines. And let's not forget Forbes Most eligible billionaire bachelors list at the age 29! I believe his networth is around 4.6 Billion give or take a few. How I would love to have so much money that I could give or take a few! Edward also may have been Voted People magazine's sexiest man alive a time or ten. Oh, and I should also mention he is fluent in Italian, Spanish, French and German. He is a classically trained pianist, works with the humane society, he is also a member of the Big Brothers Big Sisters of America organization. In short, he is the perfect man.

I know what we have all been told by our friends, co-workers, sisters, mothers, aunts and grandmothers, say it with me now: "there is no such thing as the perfect man" Well, I'm here to tell you my sisters that I have seen the light. I have seen the promise land, the land of milk and honey. It is a real thing, not a myth. Edward Masen is pefection in every way. And oh my, how I would love to milk him and taste his honey! I told you I was a dork. Maybe my best friend, Jane, is right and I do need to get laid. It has been.. awhile. Awhile? This is the point where my inner sex starved diva screams at me- It's been longer than that and you know it! Bush was still in office for goodness sake!

But the point is, Edward had me the moment he welcomed me to Giovanni & Sons. Had me at hello? No. Even I won't go there. But I will never forget that day because it was the day he touched me! I almost peed myself right there on Mr. Giovanni's Persian carpet that is worth more than my whole condo!

~Flashback~

Aro had sent his personal assistant, Lauren, to give me a tour of the building and show me the ins and outs of working here at Giovanni & Sons. Lauren, after telling me about who's dating, screwing, and cheating on whom, then sent me on my way to my desk to get settled in.

As I was struggling with the most stubborn desk drawer known to man, bent over jiggling the handle to said evil drawer to get the blasted thing open, I heard a throat being cleared from behind me. Now, I will admit my skirt might have been a tad bit short, but only if I bent over.. like I was now. Otherwise it was completely work appropriate.

Spinning around I saw standing there with a sort of sexy lean against my desk thing going on was.. him. The "him" that is only talked about in fairytales, written about in smutty romance novels, and sang about in corny love songs. The kind of handsome that makes you stupid. I was truly dumbfounded right then and there. At a total loss for words. I, Gianna Moretti am never at a loss of words. My mother always said when I was little if she taped my mouth shut, I would fart myself to death. Gross, but more than likely true. But thinking about that while infront of the most beautiful man my eyes had ever beheld, was a mood killer for sure.

He made my thighs rub together he was so hot. He made me want to lay down before him and beg him to procreate with me just so his genes would live on! I had lost my mind over here! So I pulled up to my full height, all 5 foot 6 inches of it, and smiled. I was told I had a killer smile- so if ever it needed to be used, it was now. He smiled back and spoke to me. His voice was, you guessed it, amazing. I melted right there in my Jimmy Choos. Goo in my Choo's! I would worry about the clean up later.

Oh, and you might beg the question: Can a lean be sexy? Hell yes it can when this man is doing the leaning! Move over Pisa.. there's a new leaning wonder in town! What is wrong with my brain?

"You might want to call maintanace up here to fix that. God knows they need more to do for what Aro pays them. They are more than likely doing nothing but watching the 'price is right' in a break room somewhere" He said looking down at his very expensive watch. His grey Armani suit fit him like a glove and his hair was shiney and clean looking. His green eyes were Mesmerizing. Mesmerizing? Who says that? Apparently I do. This man has turned my brain to mush. Wave goodbye to that 130 IQ, Gianna. Wait a minute.. I love the price is right! Wonder if after I am done falling in love with sweet cheeks here, I could join the lazy Handy Manny? Thinking about Handy Manny, I have the tool song stuck in my head. What can I say? I have a five year old nephew! But then the tool song shifts to make me think of something else. Shame on me! I return to reality once more-

"Oh gosh," yeah, I said 'gosh' "It's my frist day and I don't want to come off as a whiner or that I can't handle something small like a drawer sticking. I mean sure, it might take the jaws of life to pop this baby open and then what would we find in there? The long lost lunch of the last person to own this desk? Or what if there is something far worse in there? What if they nailed the desk shut to hide something, or if there's a bomb?" Did I mention I talk too much? Way too freaking much. Lord help me shut up! But please don't make me mute because that might kill me.

I see his wide, muscular shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "You know, you might be on to something here. There could be a whole organization of people trying to bring down Giovanni and Sons one desk at a time!" He is making fun of me. Can't really blame him- I am quite absurd.

"I should tell Grandfather your thoughts on this as I am sure he would be most.. charmed by it. And also impressed with your keen eye." He said with a smirk in place.

Grandfather? "Grandfather? You mean, as in Mr. Giovanni is your grandfather?" Holy crow! This is The Edward Masen?

"Ah, you've heard of me? Yes, I am the grandson. Edward Masen, pleasure to meet you miss.." He held his hand out. He was going to touch me. Ok, I can do this. Breathe, Gianna. Breathe and don't do anything that might be misconstrued as weird such as licking his hand.

"Gianna Morretti, Mr. Giovanni's new secretary, Sir." I take his hand, and did I just curtsey? What the hell? I see him try to bite back a laugh.

"Well, welcome aboard Gianna. First day on the job and you're already looking out for Aro. Well done." He totally just golf clapped me. Fine, I will impress Mr. smarty pants with my humor. Hope I don't pull something.

"Now, I have to question: When we do get this baby unstuck, should I open the drawer or leave it alone? I don't want to be the main reason Mr. Giovanni loses his company. Or I might just simply find a moldy bologna sandwich in there. That might be a little anti-climactic." I should have never opened my mouth. He's so rich I bet he doesn't even know what bologna is. Commener food, peasant food! The food of dorks like me who...

"God, I love bologna! I haven't had a bologna sandwich in years. My grandmother used to make them all the time."

Beautiful man of my dreams said what?

"Really? You, Edward Masen have eaten a bologna sandwich before? Somehow I doubt that." If he did, I bet it was the real all-beef kind. Not the turkey, pork, chicken.. God only knows what else.. blend. Before landing this job, just fresh out of college, I was lucky to get any type of meat, mystery or not. Speaking of meat..I wonder what he looks like in the "meat" department? I can't believe I went there in my mind. In the very short amount of time I have known this man, he has turned me into a nasty little pervert. I totally blame him. How fucking dare he walk around looking all fine and shit. Bastard!

"Hey! I will have you know miss that my nonna fixed every meal in her household. That included plain old bologna sandwiches for lunch." He said with a wink. I think I might have had a mini orgasm from that wink. Just a wink and I'm wet! Isn't lust one of the seven deadly sins? Oh sweet lord! Bless me father for I have totally sinned.. and I plan on sinning some more. And if this man would allow me to have him, I would sin on him morning, noon and night. Come to think of it, I'm not catholic, but it would be really cool to jump in one of those little boxes and spill your guts to someone that couldn't tell a soul how rotten a person you were. I would just make shit up to freak the holy dude out. I am truly evil. Bad Gianna! Wonder if I could get hot stuff to spank me..

"Well then, it appears I was wrong about rich people and there distain for cheap lunch meats." I said as I turned back to the desk that started this whole conversation. Edward bends over next to me, his cologne hitting me full force. It should be a crime to smell that good. It makes me want to lick him everywhere. He pulls on the draw with his big manly hands and one tug, the damn thing is open! I was so turned on at that point I didn't care if lord Voldemort was in that damn drawer. I just wanted to stand next to this man for the rest of my life, breathing in his scent. But he had to go and ruin my plans.

"Well, it looks like the mystery is solved, Daphne." I looked up at him as he reaches down into the drawer. Afraid of what he was about to pull out, and who the hell was Daphne? He's already forgot my name! I mean jeez, Gianna sounds nothing like Daphne...Oh yeah: Mystery, Daphne, Scooby Doo! Even more reason to want to jump his bones. Does that make him my Fred? If the mystery machine's rockin' don't come knockin'.

"Well, at least it's not a bomb. Though I think I would prefer touching a bomb to this." Looking down at what held his eyes, I see a box of Tampax Pearl tampons. Men get freaked out over the dumbest things.

"Since you seem to be in fear of them, I'll defuse the situation, sir." My turn to smirk.

He picks up my hand, kissing it while looking in my eyes. And holy smokes he dazzles me. "Thank you, Gianna. It was a pleasure to solve this mystery with you." The smug bastard knows I'm about to pass out from his hottness. He turns to exit through the double doors leading to Mr. Giovanni's offices, but first he pauses, looking back at me.

"Maybe you would like to have lunch with me sometime?" Is he for real? Oh honey, I would love to have you for lunch!

I pretend to think about it. Yeah, we all know I would go out with him anyday of the week. But a girl can't show all her cards - not until he's bought me dinner at least.

"If it's bologna sandwiches, you've got a date." I mentally facepalm myself. But his smile knocks the fear out of me.

"Sounds perfect to me." And he walks away. Yeah, I check out his ass. You would have too!

~End flashback~

That day I fell for the boss' grandson and got a free box of tampons to boot. Don't judge me! It was a new unopened box- what would you have done? But sadly Edward never asked me out. That was one year ago. I heard, via Lauren, that he just went through a break up with some Victoria's Secret model he had been dating. Yeah, let's all feel sorry for the rich bastard that he couldn't make it work with his "angel" I invision myself clipping her wings, pushing her off the catwalk and walking away with Edward. A girl can dream.

~Back to present time~

I see him walk past me, smile and then that's it. He goes behind the large oak doors that simple people like me aren't allowed, unless fetching something for Mr. Giovanni or Mr. Masen as I have taken to calling him in my mind. No more sweet cheeks, sexy buns or Mr. can-make-anyone-cum. I have tried dating but not one of them helps me move on from him. Even my love for Ben Barnes, sexy beast that he is, doesn't seem to make Edward fade into the background. I got hooked right good by that ass. I have wondered why he never asked me out for that lunch date? Was I too forward in my bologna lovin', tampon teasin' flirting? I think about it all the time. Which inturn makes my best friend Jane want to knock me out just to get me to shut up about him and what might have been. The double doors close, cutting me off from his view. Sighing, I go back to looking at the computer screen, looking over the appointments for today. A few minutes after Edward had arrived, I see Lauren the big mouth go past me, through the doors carrying a box. And then twenty mintues later, not like I was counting or anything, little miss gossip comes back out wearing a smirk. One of those 'I know something you don't' smirks. For some reason I want to trip her. But only a little.

Just then my line one rings.

"Yes?"

"Gianna? May I see you in my office, please?" Edward never really asks much of me seeing as how I am Mr. Giovanni's secretary, not really Edward's. But his voice sounds very professional. I instintly worry if my swooning hasn't been as stealthy as I thought?

"Of course Mr. Masen." I get up, walk through the double doors, down the hall to the second largest office in the building: Edward's. With it's panoramic view of lower Manhattan. A billion dollar view.. I'm sure it cost just that as well. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself that I work here. Despite my broken heart, loneliness, and depression over being in love with a man who doesn't even look my way, I am very happy here at Giovanni's & Sons. Really, I am.

I reach Edward's door, taking a moment to smooth over my black Donna Karan pencil skirt and make sure the buttons on my white satin ruffle placket shirt is covering my girls. Having a cup size 'C' is nice, but I don't want to flash the man. Well, not if he doesn't want me to. I snort at the mere thought of me flashing Mr. Perfect. He probably wouldn't notice if I did. As I knock, I wait for the tell tale sign that I can enter.

"Yes." Hearing his smooth voice sends chills through me. I wonder if he would mind very much if I knocked everything off his desk, and went Dave Matthews' 'crash", on him- where I lay out on that bare desk, hike up my skirt and show my world to him?

I open the door, prepared to get yelled at for my love sick looks and dirty thoughts, though I'm pretty sure Edward isn't a mind reader. What I see causes all thoughts, reason and wind to get knocked out of me. I feel my eyes go wide, my breathing stops. I feel faint. I feel like doing a happy dance. Before me, on the floor layed out on a red and white checkered table cloth, is a picnic. A full spread of grapes, apples, bottles of water, soda, tea, looks to be potato salad, potato chips, cookies, brownies and there as the main event, something that makes me want to cry, laugh, and kiss this man till our lips fall off, is my elusive bologna sanwiches. My dream come true, perfect bologna sandwiches.

" I hope that you still find bologna sandwiches a perfect date food? I know it took me some time to get here, but if you will join me, I can promise more where this came from. Who knows maybe we can even throw in some more mysteries to solve as well?" His face was full of hope. Oh silly hunk of man. Like he didn't have me at bologna!

"Well, seeing as how it is lunch time, I think I could eat. And there are quite a few more desks in this building to look through." I smile down at him. So I, Gianna Moretti, got herself the Boss' grandson, literally spread out before me on his knees. Only thing left to do, see if he would go for A little lunch time lovin' with the Secretary...

~And they live happily ever after- one bologna sandwich at a time~

Thanks for reading this crazy o/s :)