Hawaii Five-O belongs to CBS. Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin were created by Rex Stout and are the property of his estate. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story was inspired by Rex Stout's classic, Black Orchids.

In the Nero Wolfe mysteries, the story is always told in the first person by Archie Goodwin.

I have followed this convention in the portions of this tale centering on Wolfe.

A WOLFE IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING

Chapter1: The Million-Dollar Orchid

Archie Goodwin:

Very few things can induce my boss, Nero Wolfe, to leave his classic New York brownstone with its elevator, comfortable (for his seventh of a ton) furniture, superb cook Felix Brenner, and its ten thousand orchids housed in three glassed-in rooms on the top floor. That's what did it: orchids, specifically a new and extremely rare species of orchid belonging to a collector here in Honolulu, a collector whose assistant was now very, very dead. And so, that's the reason Wolfe and I are sitting in Wolfe's suite at the Royal Hawaiian being questioned by a couple of cops from Hawaii Five-O.

Who am I? For you out-of-towners who don't know me, I'm Archie Goodwin, expert licensed private investigator in my own right and assistant to Nero Wolfe, New York's - and just maybe the entire country's - best detective. And it's partly my fault that we're here being scrutinized by McGarrett and his associate, Dan Williams.

But maybe I'd better back up a bit and, as the old saying goes, begin at the beginning.

o-o-o-o-o

One week ago . . .

I was sitting in Wolfe's office typing up the latest germination records for his prize cymbidium hybrids. I'd already sorted the mail and stacked it neatly on the big guy's desk and was looking forward to a quiet day and a date with my girlfriend Lily Rowan. Dinner at Rusterman's and dancing at a hot new club: just what I needed to break up the monotony of three weeks without a case. The bank balance was still hefty and because of that, Wolfe saw no reason to exert himself and exercise that all-knowing brain of his. Of course, in another week or so I'd have to badger him about getting back to work so he could continue to support those ten thousand beauties on the top floor.

The rumble of the elevator announced his return from his morning session with the orchids, He entered into the office, placed a raceme of bright pink orchids in its usual vase and greeted me with his customary "Good morning, Archie. Did you sleep well?"

At my nod, he settled his seventh of a ton in the custom-made desk chair and sorted through his mail, stopping at a report from the National Botanical Garden in DC, home to a collection of orchids second only to his own. A snorted "Impossible!" caught my attention.

"What's impossible, Boss?"

Wolfe motioned me to his desk and pointed to a picture in the report."This. A newly-discovered species of orchid from the Amazon rainforest. Incredible."

"Incredible" barely described it: a velvety dark blue-violet, almost black, blossom, a burgundy central labellum edged in yellow, main petals sprinkled with pale pink dots. A Cattleya, a bloom unique among its kind. I could see that Wolfe was already planning a way to acquire a specimen. He'd been seduced by that little beauty.

"Instructions, Archie." Wolfe's bark alerted me that something unusual was in the offing. We didn't have a case, so that could mean only one thing . . .

His next words confirmed my suspicions. "This new orchid was found by a Dr. Howard Ito of Honolulu, Hawaii. Call him and arrange a meeting for next Monday. When you have done that, book three first class seats to Hawaii and make reservations at the Royal Hawaiian, two suites." He studied the photo of the magnificent flower for a moment before adding, "Call the Gazette and invite Lon Cohen for dinner tonight. Ask him to bring any information he can glean on Dr. Ito."

Wolfe leaned back in his chair and groaned in displeasure. He hated traveling and hated planes most of all. He gave me a "get going" look and rang for his customary beer while I went to let Fritz know we'd be having a guest for dinner.

If I'd known what we were in for, I'd have convinced Wolfe to stay home.

o-o-o-o-o

Honolulu: Five-O

"An orchid show!" Steve McGarrett growled as he put down the phone. "The Governor wants us to provide security at an orchid show."

"What for?" Kono laughed. "To keep da wahines from stealing da flowers?"

"It's about that black orchid, isn't it?" Danny questioned. "Seems it's unique and probably worth a small fortune. A thief could get rich selling cuttings."

"Or holding it for ransom," Chin added.

"OK, OK," Steve brought the banter to an end. "Anyone here have enough experience with orchids to meet with this Dr. Ito and see what he needs?"

"Doc Ito? From U of H? My Auntie Malina knows da guy-she's given him cuttings from her own plants. Calls 'em hy . . . hy something or other."

"Hybrids, Kono," Danny explained. "Comes from combining genetic material from two different plants to make a new one."

"Since you know so much about orchids, Danno," McGarrett smirked, "why don't you meet with the good doctor. Take Kono with you."

o-o-o-o-o

"Detective Williams! Kono!" The affable botanist greeted the officers. "How good of you to come so quickly. And Kono, please thank your aunt for the new hybrid. As she thought, it's a new species. I've taken the liberty of naming it after her."

"She'll like dat," the big Hawaiian laughed. "She loves putterin' around with her flowers."

"Professor?" A younger man entered the greenhouse. "Sorry, I didn't know you had visitors. Are you here to see the orchids?"

"My chief lab assistant and one of my best grad students, Eric Kim," Ito said. "Officers Williams and Kalakaua, Five-O. And now, gentlemen, let me introduce you to my pride and joy, the unique black orchid. I have two complete plants and three corms that can be used for propagation."

Dan let out a low whistle. "They're beautiful! I've never seen anything like them. They must be extremely valuable."

"They are," Ito agreed. "This orchid is a new species of Cattleya and is as yet unnamed. The propagation rights alone would be worth hundreds of thousands, enough to make anyone a rich man."

"Yourself included?" Dan questioned.

Ito shook his head. "Those rights belong to the university and will be used to fund scholarships to this department. I was a scholarship student myself once upon a time and now want to return the favor and give others the opportunities I had."

"And that's why you requested Five-O to handle security for the exhibit," Dan stated. "Have you had anyone asking to see the orchid? Or acquire a cutting?''

"The preliminary report in the proceedings of the National Botanic Garden has generated a lot of interest. I've had requests from all around the country, including several from the East Coast. One collector, Nero Wolfe from New York, has an appointment with me on Monday."

"Nero Wolfe," Dan mused. "Where have I heard that name before?"

o-o-o-o-o

New York: Archie Goodwin

"OK, Archie, what does the big man want now?" Lon Cohen queried when I reached him at his office at the Gazette with an invitation for dinner.

"Just some information about Dr. Howard Ito and the black orchid. Wolfe knows him by reputation but has never actually met him. The boss has a bad case of orchid avarice.

"I'll see what I can do," the veteran newsman said. "For one of Fritz's dinners, I'll get right on it.

Might even cover the story myself."

"Don't even think about it," I laughed as I hung up the phone.

Fritz Brenner has to be one of the best chefs in the country and one of the very few able to please the palate of Nero Wolfe. Fritz's pork loin a l'orange garnished with home grown rosemary and served with new red potatoes and steamed asparagus was superb and just what was needed to tempt Lon into spilling all he knew about Doc Ito.

We moved to Wolfe's office for coffee (Jamaica Blue Mountain, of course). Lon took a sip and began, "Time to pay for dinner. Howard Ito: born in Lihue, Kauai; father was a gardener on one of the estates there. Earned his BS from the University of Hawaii and his PhD. from UCLA. Now head of the botany department at U of H and a consultant for the National Botanical Garden. They funded several of his expeditions. Married; two kids. Lives quietly. Several publications on rare and endangered plants; currently researching methods of propagation. He's one of the sponsors of the up-coming orchid show and has asked Five-O to coordinate security."

"Five-O?" I questioned.

"State police. That's all I've got."

"Satisfactory," Wolfe nodded his thanks. "I have an appointment with him next Monday. Please send references to his latest publications."

"He's coming here?" Lon questioned.

"No. Archie and I are going there."

o-o-o-o-o

Honolulu: Five-O

"Nero Wolfe?" McGarrett questioned as he stared out the office window. "I read something about him several months ago. He's a private investigator who solved a major embezzlement case in New York City. He's reputed to be somewhat eccentric."

"He also likes orchids," Kono added helpfully.

"OK, Danno, check with NYPD. Get some background on the man. Chin, Kono; check the hotels-see if he has reservations at any of them."

"On it, Boss," Chin answered as the three officers went about their assigned tasks.

Steve wasn't surprised when Dan returned less than an hour later. "Wolfe isn't the most popular guy with NYPD," he commented. Steve raised an eyebrow and signaled the younger man to continue.

"Eccentric's definitely the word to describe him. He operates out of his house, rarely leaves the premises. Most of the legwork is handled by his associate, Archie Goodwin. He's solved several major cases for the local police. I spoke with an Inspector Cramer who describes Wolfe as the most brilliant detective in the country and possibly the most exasperating. He's also an orchid collector, so it's got to be Dr. Ito's plants that brought him out here. Cramer's having some photos telexed."

"Good work, Danno," Steve smiled. "Hope he doesn't find any crimes to solve on this rock."

"One more thing, Steve. Cramer says the man's insufferable."

o-o-o-o-o

Eric Kim shrugged out of his lab smock, hung the garment on its usual peg, took one last look at the rare orchids, and bid "good night" to his superior.

Ito couldn't resist teasing. "Date with your girl tonight?"

Kim feigned a yawn. "No, just a big microbiology test tomorrow and a report to finish on natural hybridization in hibiscus. I'm hoping for publication." He barely heard his superior's "Good luck!" as he headed for his old car. He drove to an isolated phone booth and dialed a number he'd come to know well.

"Got our patsy, boss. A guy from the Mainland. Name's Wolfe. Nero Wolfe." He gave a few more pieces of information and hung up, a satisfied smile on his face. He expected to be well-paid for this little caper.

o-o-o-o-o

Justine Vashon was more than satisfied. Nero Wolfe! Fate had delivered one of her chief rivals into her hands. She'd hated the man ever since he'd deprived her of a chance to acquire a collection of rare golden orchids from the estate of a deceased collector. Even more, he'd briefly suspected her of being the cause of the man's death. As if she'd sully her hands with something as mundane as murder! Someone else's hands? Perhaps. She moved to the lanai of her small rented cottage. Only something as precious as a one-of-a-kind specimen would be bait enough to lure Wolfe out of his brownstone castle and into her trap. She was going to enjoy every moment of the hunt. All she needed was a hunter. She picked up the phone . . .

"Honoré?"

o-o-o-o-o

Note: Rex Stout, an acknowledged master of the art of detective fiction. published his first Nero Wolfe novel, Fer de Lance, in 1934 and his last, A Family Affair, in 1975, the year of his death. With the permission of Stout's estate, Robert Goldsborough has continued the series, bringing the novels into a contemporary setting.