You are the only one in this world…who can touch my scars…Riff.
It seemed so textbook to me. I knew what I wanted and I immediately rose to protect it, as most human beings often do. But you're not an 'it', are you? Yes, I know I've made a few mistakes in the relationship we've fabricated between each other. Yet I know the bond simply isn't man and servant…it's not so trivial. With my peculiar knowledge, I think it could have something to do with poisons.
I'm the poison. My soul is tainted to a point where you can only see black inside me. I'm rare and deadly. The more you, with your white and purity, stand by my side, the more you become soiled as well. You're addicted to me. You've become so used to my intoxication, I'm all you care about. It's a bit of a sick obsession we have here in a way, but I want things to be like this forever. Do you?
That's why I…But I'm afraid to lose that connection. I'm scared I already have. Just yesterday, we fought for the first time in years…
I sat at tea with a new woman I hadn't really gotten a chance to know yet. I'd picked her up off the streets because she looked lonely…and pretty. We were casually chatting about what she did for money, my like for her fading as the conversation went on. Then suddenly you, Riff, came in to ask if we needed anything else to satisfy our needs. Seeing your handsome pale face, the woman was obviously interested in you.
She asked in her high pitched voice who you were. I stared at her glazed over expression as she looked at you and answered tersely, "No one important. Just a man servant of mine." And afterwards I told you to leave the room quickly. You being you listened without any scornful words or glares. But though you looked impassive, I knew you better than to believe that.
After she had left, which didn't take very long considering I rushed her out, I came looking for you. You were standing in your black suit outside, watching the leaves fall from the trees. You turned solemnly when hearing my call.
"Why am I not important to you, Lord Cain?" You whispered to me softly. I couldn't say I was surprised…but I also couldn't say I wasn't. I gave you a sad smile, not feeling like explaining. As always, your face showed no expression whatsoever as you came over to me and straightened out my tie. I could tell you were depressed…and I could almost hear everything you wanted to say to me.
But I know now…I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean what it sounded like. I always knew you were important to me; I just didn't want that woman to know. You see, she wanted you to herself. I don't want anyone taking you away from me, Riff. I want you to stay with me forever, no matter what happens. That's how much you mean to me. You're not only important to me…I care so much for you I never want to let you leave my company. I don't want to say it's more than obsession…I don't want to say it's a terrifying love. But I know I will have to tell you the truth some day.
But Riff…when I say that you're no one important, I'm protecting you from going away. I'm lying. The truth is I care deeply for you; I just want you to know that. Because a poisonous love, is always fatal and misleading.
Your white, slender fingers…whenever they touch my skin, they blacken more and more. My soul is tainted. But if we could stay forever like this then…
And as I kiss your hand after you run it over a stray scar, I keep my thoughts to myself. I'm so lazy; I never want to elaborate on my feelings.
Then let me lie...my dear, sweet Riff...
You have no idea how long I've been waiting for Godchild to be one of the animes accepts! I wrote this almost a year ago and kept it until now! Cain/Riff is so cute.. Thank you for reading.
-PL