Author's note: Written for the Paint It Red September 2012 Monthly Challenge. Inspired by the namesake song by Simple Minds.
He rested his forehead against the cold surface of the door.
"Teresa, please. We have to talk."
"Go away, Jane – or I'll call the police."
In any other situation he would have laughed at the thought of CBI senior agent Teresa Lisbon calling the local police in order to get rid of an unwanted visitor.
He didn't feel like laughing now. This wasn't a game, and he needed her to listen to him – if only for one last time.
"I'm sorry for what I've done. Truly sorry. But you know that I had to."
A silence.
"We had to catch Red John, Lisbon. And that was the only way."
"Really?" She snapped from the other side of the locked door. "Playing that sort of games with Red John's girl was just another part of you brilliant plan? A necessary evil?"
He swallowed hard. She'd been watching his not-so-ordinary interrogation through the two-way mirror – though he'd all but pleaded her not to.
"I had to catch him before he struck too close to home. It was only a matter of time before he went after you."
A soft thud. He fancied that Lisbon had – not so gently – rested her brow against the door as well.
"I couldn't afford to lose you, Teresa."
"Jane, don't… lie to me. I can't take more of your lies."
Her voice broke near the end. She was crying.
Damn it. He didn't want her to cry.
"It wasn't just about revenge. I allowed you to take Red John into custody, remember?"
"So you did."
"Have you any ideas of how I felt while I doing those… things… to Lorelei?"
"Looked like you were enjoying yourself."
His fist hit the door. "I wasn't. I never thought I could feel like I was cheating on two women at the same time – and yet that's exactly what happened."
The only answer that he got were her stifled sobs.
He shouldn't have told her that he loved her. That made things ten times worse – and he really hated himself for hurting her.
"I'm sorry. I promise I won't bother you again. I just wanted you to know the truth."
With that he stepped away from her front door and dragged his wretched self to the parking lot.
It was drizzling, but he didn't care. Nothing really mattered anymore.
He slumped on the concrete next to his faithful Citroen.
What was his life now that he'd lost everything? His decade-long chase for a serial killer was over. No more family, no more friends. He was truly and utterly alone.
Hurried footsteps made themselves heard among the rain. He buried his head against his knees – didn't want any passer-by to take pity on him.
Then someone kneeled beside him and hugged him tightly.
"Don't ever do anything like that to me, Patrick."
His eyes finally met her own – and he was secretly relieved that the raindrops kindly disguised his tears.
Then he simply kissed her.