When He Was
When William Crawley was two, he learned he had a second name
A/N: Written right after the 2012 CS, this is my take on what Matthew and Mary's son would be like. Of course back then we didn't know he was to be called George. But in essence this is George's story
First posted on tumblr
When William Crawley was two, he learned he had a second name.
He learned to look ashamed when his mother calls him by two names in that tired exasperated voice and knew he had to say sorry, or as much of it as he can muster.
When William was three, he noticed how his mother would stroke his hair and cheeks and look sadly at him.
He also noticed that she looked away so fast he thought her neck must hurt, and he also noticed that she turned back to him with the biggest of smiles.
When William was four, he understood his second name was for his father.
But he didn't fully understand what father meant. He only understood it made his mother smile and hug him and tell him "your father will be proud."
When William was six, he heard his grandfather call him Matthew, just Matthew.
He then heard his grandfather choke back a sob. He didn't really know why.
When William was 10, and off to school, he saw his mother clutch at Mr. Carson's arms and look up to the sky.
It was not really the first time he saw his mother do that, but it was the first time he saw his mother cry, and the first time he saw the picture she placed inside his suitcase.
When William was 14, he found out he looked like his father.
But he really didn't find out what made that special. Other than the fact that the law office his mother made him work for that one summer was his father's office. Well, he also found out he didn't make everyone else's coffee like what he's doing.
When William was 16, he hated the name Matthew.
He hated how irritating it was to hear his mother say "Matthew would not have wanted you dropping out of school and risking your life to fight a damn war that may or may not happen!" And he hated it when his gran would tell him "Matthew volunteered because he saw the need, think about it." Most of all he hated it when his mother would say "I wish Matthew were here, he'd know what to do" because honestly his mother knows how to do things, she's never really needed help before so why start now?
When William was 18, walking back from his grandfather's funeral and feeling as if he had the weight of all the world on his shoulders, he asked about his father Matthew Crawley for the first time.
And his mother, brushing off imaginary lint in his uniform, told him, "He was a great man, and so will you" before spinning a tale about middle-class lawyers. A story far different from princesses and sea monsters he got as a child.
When William was 30, holding his son for the first time, he finally knew what it meant to be a father.
He whispered to his son "I love you dear Matthew, and you will be loved." His mother stood beside him and smiled.