Mixed feelings
He's dead. Klaus is actually dead. The supposedly invincible and indestructible Hybrid is dead. He lived / existed for over a thousand years, and now he's gone.
It's like, for months I wanted nothing more than him being gone and for me to be able to go back to living a normal life with my friends and family once more. Or at least what I considered to be a normal life for a vampire.
But it's different now. For he showed me bits and pieces of him. And I got to see a whole other side of him, a side which probably not many have seen. He wasn't just the villain anymore, but a man who had been hurt deeply by the people who were responsible to love and protect him. He showed me that there was still humanity left inside of him. That even after all the killing, torturing and basically being the most feared person in the world there was still good in him. That he equally craved and feared that connection with someone.
And then he promised to wait for me. That there would be a 'one day' when I would be ready and turn towards him. And though I scoffed at him, I still knew that he was right. One day, I would have turned up on his doorstep, ready to let him show me what the world has to offer. All those great cities, that art and music as well as the genuine beauty he spoke off. I would have seen it with him by my side. And it would have started with Paris, Rome and Tokyo. But the 'one day' died with him.
Maybe I'm shallow. But he was actually the first to put me first. I mean, I love my friends and family and I would lay my life down for them. But my mom has chosen work and my dad another man over me. For Stefan and Damon everything has always been about Elena. Even Matt isn't completely over her though it's been a year since their breakup. Bonnie has always run to Elena when she needed someone. And Tyler has chosen running away when things get tough.
I know I shouldn't feel regret or sadness. Not for Klaus. I should be grieving about Alaric and Elena (though she's not really gone, only changing into a vampire). I should be grieving for Tyler. And yes, I feel sadness about them.
But yet, there is a part of me which grieves for Klaus. For the person, that he was around me. The one who offered me the choice of letting me die because I wanted it or saving me. The one who gave me a present for my birthday just because he could. The one who gave me a drawing that showed me how he saw me. The one who was persistent in his pursuit of me though I shot him down several times. The one who came to my rescue even though he knew he was walking into a trap and almost certain death. And I grieve about what we could have been if we had given it a chance…