Okay, yes I know I've been gone for literally forever. I've had a massive creative block and have found it really hard to write atm, but hopefully now that summer is fully underway I'll have more inspiration and have time to write more stuff, I plan on putting up the second chapter to this real soon as I've got half of it written so if not today, this will be updated this week. This was more of an introduction to Riley and Maya's friendship so Lucas will be more focused on in the next chapter. hope you enjoy!
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 9:12 AM
Subject: Where the hell are you?
Seriously Maya, would it cause you any trouble to get your ass here before noon? I'm sitting here alone in this chair that makes my skirt ride up my butt while creepy Andy from Accounting not-so-subtly is ogling my boobs while you, if I know you at all from the twelve years of our friendship, have probably just woken up from choking on your own drool and are sat in your kitchen eating honey oatmeal watching Judge Judy. And I have to say I am not appreciating Andy's glasses being illuminated by the reflection of the bright light of a porn website while slowly looking down me, and who's not there to distract me? YOU.
I swear to God, if you don't email me as soon as you get in here, I'll march over to Printing Design myself and take those Cosmo magazines from your cold, dead hands.
From Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 11:32 AM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Okay you better feel special, I'm putting you before Cosmo, but make it quick, they've got an exclusive 6 page spread with Gwyneth Paltrow plus I'm having a debate with Derek whether Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are going to last or if it's just for PR. (HINT: he thinks it's true love) Anyway, just give Andy the death stare if he looks at you again or you know, put a sweater on you one heck of a doll.
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 11:46 AM
RE: Where the hell are you?
I think I'm pregnant.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 11:49 AM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Wait, for real? Why?
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 11:53 AM
RE: Where the hell are you?
I went out last Saturday and had three drinks.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 11:56 AM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Riley, do we need to have the birds and the bees talk again?
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 11:58 AM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Ha.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 11:59 AM
RE: Where the hell are you?
No, seriously why do you think you're pregnant?
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:03 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
I swear even if I have one drink I start to feel pregnant. I think it's because I barely ever drink in the first place and the one time I decide I want to loosen up, I get pregnant. Oh god...for the three damn hours I went out I get stuck with a fetal alcoholic for 18+ years, probably double that because they'll need me to sneak out and get the booze for them.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:07 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Is that actually what they're called, fetal alcoholics?
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:11 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
its ears will be blue, eyes too far apart and all the middle aged white suburban moms named Sandra will stare at me and whisper to their children named Zucchini and McKarty that I couldn't even part with a bottle of Zambooki for 9 months.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:12 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
You will be a middle aged white suburban mom, Riley. And since when did you drink Zambooki?
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:13 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
I'll have to hold it's little hand on the way to the AA meetings and feed it Brandy instead of milk.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:15 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Don't think that's how it works babe, aren't you being just a tad dramatic?
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:17 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
This feels different Maya, I feel a presence in my womb.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:18 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and say you feel a presence in your womb. Anyway, even if you do end up birthing a child with blue ears and a horn sticking out it's back, won't Farkle still be obsessed with it?
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:21 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Ugh, probably, I don't know why he does it.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:22 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Won't it be good for your relationship though? Having a baby I mean.
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:25 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Well let's see, I give birth to a beautiful child but I never see them because they spend all their waking hours with a mini-mother-slave wage who they think is their actual mother, Farkle and I try to keep the romantic aspect of our marriage alive in our late thirties, by eating dinner while the baby is asleep but we're both tired. all. the. time. so instead of having an actual conversation I fall asleep next to my plate of pasta when he begins to tell me about his day and he's more than happy just to read a book instead. He eats his pasta in silence while fantasizing about the curvy new pre-school teacher who wears a nude pencil skirt and tights that shimmy up her thighs when she sits down on a chair or jumps. It ends in tragedy.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:27 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Well, what does he think? (About the ominous "presence" in your womb, not the pre-school teacher)
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:28 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
He thinks I should take a pregnancy test to be sure.
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:31 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Good man, I knew I liked him for a reason.
From: Riley Matthew-Minkus
To: Maya P Hart
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:32 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Creepy Andy is still staring!
From: Maya P Hart
To: Riley Matthew-Minkus
Sent: Wed, 08/18/1999 12:31 PM
RE: Where the hell are you?
Put. on. a. sweater.