Welp

This is a one-shot story I wrote while brainstorming the next chapter of PoS.

Hope you like it.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT GIVE AN EVIL OVERLORD A SANITY POTION, CHANCES ARE SAID OVERLORD BECOMES MORE EFFIECIENT AT EVIL OVERLORDING

PEWPEW

"Severus," the Dark Lord Voldemort rasped, "is it ready?"

"Yes, my Lord." The greasy haired wizard handed over a smoking potion.

Gulp

"ARGGGGGGGGG!!!"

"MAH LORDE" Bellatrix LeStrange rushed into the room upon hearing her beloved master's cry of agony.

"Are you okay, my Lord?" Snape inquired, studiously ignoring Bellatrix's threats of endless torture for hurting her king.

"...yes, yes." The Dark Tosser slowly stood up, holding his head and groaning. "God... I've done so many things wrong... "

"My Lord?" said both the death eaters in unison.

"Severus." The mentioned death eater stood up in attention. "Give Bellatrix the potion too."

Snape nodded. "Yes, my Lord." It seemed the potion worked. "Bellatrix, come with me." She did so without question.

"Oh, and, Severus? Get ready the ingredients for a class 1 mass necromantic ritual, and an traquilizer gun. It's high time I started rewarding my followers for their work."

"...Yes, my Lord." Definitely worked.

BOOP

The Boy-Who-Lived stepped into the deepest part of the Forbidden Forest. He took a deep breath. It was time. He threw away the Resurrection Stone. Stupid thing didn't work anyway.

Hiss

Harry Potter slumped to the ground with a traquilizer dart in his neck.

"Target down, retrieval squad 4, move in." A pair of death eaters wearing clear Pexiglass visors picked up the unconscious man and carried him off.

Lord Tom Marvolo Riddle grinned, and blew the barrel of the unloaded gun.

BEEP

Harry woke up in a white room.

"Wha..." He sat up, looked around and saw what looked like Voldemort, if he hadn't split his soul and was 71 years old, reading a book.

"Ah, you're awake." The stranger closed the novel. Harry absently noticed it was entitled Peter's Evil Overlord List.

"Hello, Harry, I am Tom Marvolo Riddle, and I am very sorry about The Dark Lord Voldemort trying to kill you." Harry sat there trying to process what he just said. "I have attempted to make amendments, and I have removed the Horcrux from your scar there." The old man gestured at said scar. "I have also revived your parents, and everyone else killed unnaturally and deserved a second chance. You're free to go wherever go, but if you stay around for a while, I have a deal for you."

Harry continued to be silent, so the reformed Voldemort continued, "I would like to name you successor for my empire."

Harry, then, finally found and hunted down his voice after 3 short paragraphs of staking it out. "Wait, what?!" Tom nodded. "Yup. And since you didn't protest with reason, you're officially successor, and cannot change it to anyone else, soooooooooooooooooooo... you're stuck here for a while."

"Wait what why???!!!" Harry screamed, in a last resort attempt to fix the situation.

"Cause I'm retiring from being the Lord of magical Britain's leading questionably criminal empire. Remember to give Lucius his 50 pounds of hair care products, Severus his potion research fund and your mother, and the rest whatever they want. By the way, I'm running for Minister, so could you 'help' a bit, if you get what I mean? Okay thanks. Also, your friends are outside the door waiting for you." Tom then whipped out his wand, and conjured a white auto opening double door. "Now if you'd excuse me, I have an appointment with my councillor, and a date with Bella after that."

Crack

"HARRY!" A horde of redheads and one burunete streams through the door.

As the mother Weasley smothers the current head of the reformed Death Eaters, Hermione sensibly asked Harry, "What happened this time?"

Harry blinked. "I think VoldeTom just offered up my revived mother to Snape."

WOWTHISONESHOTISSHIT

"Mother," asked Delphini Tom Riddle, "how did Father become the Minister for Magic?"

"Well, Delphini," Bellatrix looked back, "it's a pretty ridiculous but short story..."

BLOOP

That's all, folks!

I'm pretty sure this is short enough for a one-shot.

I'm also pretty sure this can be considered a crack-fic.

I think this is a good note to end this on.