**This is a song fic that I was very tempted to write! The Day to Remember's version of Since you've been gone reminded me a lot of the relationship between Romano and his Grandfather. If you haven't listened to the song yet, check it out after reading this fic! I also do not own Hetalia or the song :)
It was an unexpected and unwelcome visit for a certain family member of mine who entered my home that faithful night. Someone who cut me so deeply emotionally and left scars that could never be able to heal or forgive. Scars that reminded me of the abandonment, humiliation, and loneliness that I have experienced my entire life.
Here's the thing we started out friends. It was cool, but it was all pretend. Yeah, yeah. Since you've been gone.
A bottle of wine and sleeping pills stood beside me on the nightstand. They have been here since yesterday, and so have I. It's been nearly two weeks since I have been out of my home, and it seems like no one even bothers or cares to call to say hello or invite me out somewhere. Not that I cared much anyway.
You dedicated, you took your time. It wasn't long till I called you mine. Yeah, yeah. Since you've been gone.
Without warning the person I hoped to never lay eyes on again stood beside me. He reached out a hand to supportively rub my arm, but I pushed it away with as much force as I could muster. The reaction hurt him more than it had me, and it was exactly what I wanted.
And all you'd ever hear me say is how I pictured me with you. That's all you ever hear me say. Since you've been gone!
"Romano… I have come to inform you about my departure, and –" "And what, you and Veneziano are going to travel the world, bring him to the heavens, and teach him every valuable piece of information you know while I am left to yet again defend the country on my own. Is that what you came here to tell me you damn bastard?!" I punched him as hard as I could in the chest multiple times but in my mind I knew my actions were useless and there was nothing I could say or do to make him realize that I am here. That I have feelings and a desire to be wanted.
I can breath for the first time! I'm so moving on! Yeah, yeah! Thanks to you, Now I get what I want. Since you've been gone.
He gazed at me for a moment as if completely taken aback by my words and tried to contemplate a logical response. He sighed heavily and it appeared that he was feeling regret for our so called bond for the first time. "It's not like that anymore. I am leaving. Except this time I will not be coming back." "Good. Stay up there. It's where a dead nation belongs, anyway." I replied smugly and with pride in my tone. I don't know where I was getting my courage from but I wasn't going to hold it back. It was coming out and if I didn't say this to him now then I was never going to get the chance again for the rest of my life. His eyes descended to the floor. Now he had absolutely nothing to say to me. He was finally hearing my words and agreeing with me.
How can I put it, you put me on. I even fell for that stupid love song. Yeah, yeah. Since you've been gone.
"Grandson, please listen to me. I have never loved you any less than your brother. You were doing so well on your own, but Vene needed so much help and would have ceased to exist without me." "That might have been true in the past. But even after he had fully grown into a strong country you still devoted all of your time, energy, and love into him while you completely forgot I even exist!" I was screaming by this point, but it felt so right. "I never want to see you again and there is nothing you can do to take back what you've done! The damage is done and I will not be brainwashed by your false words of love and your attempted comfort!" This has already happened. I reacted similar when he went to heaven with Vene, but the promise he made me was easily broken, and I will not fall for any more of his empty words.
How come I never hear you say I just wanna be with you. Guess you never felt that since you've been gone! I can breath for the first time, I'm still moving on! Yeah, yeah! Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want!
I changed my mind. Killing myself was no longer an option unless I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with this bastard. In a fit of rage I removed the bottle of wine from my nightstand and sent it crashing against the bedroom wall across from me. I turned around and balled my hands into fists to punch him, but my fist only collided with the wine covered wall I stained only a moment before. He was gone and I do not regret a single word I said or thing I done or attempted to do to him. I smiled genuinely in the longest time and collapsed to the floor with laughter and relief. The second unexpected visitor approached me, but this one was more welcome and needed that I would care to admit. I threw myself into his arms and wet his shirt with my tears.
Since you've been gone! You had your chance you blew it! Out of sight out of mind! Shut your mouth I just can't take it again and again and again and again!
I felt like a child all over again as he held me in his arms and rocked me. "Remember that spell I chant to you when you're upset?" I nodded. I knew it wasn't really magic, but it was hard to turn him away after what had just happened tonight. He patted my head. "There, there! There, there!" He repeated at least twenty times. I moved closer to him and buried my face in his arms while he continued.
Since you've been gone! I can breath for the first time I'm still holding on! Yeah, yeah! Thanks to you now I get what I want! I can breath for the first time I'm still moving on! Yeah, yeah! Thanks to you now I get – You should know that I get, I get what I want!
"Ti amo." That was the first time I have ever told that man I loved him. It was his time to cry now as he pulled me even closer. "I will always love you. Always and forever." He replied back and kissed my forehead.
Since you've been gone, since you've been gone, since you've been gone…