She yawned and stretched, rolling over. She glanced towards her clock- 3:14 am. It was too early to get up now. She would probably wake Charlie. She turned away from her clock, and adjusted her pillow, trying to get comfortable again. Her eyes sprang open, realizing something was missing. There were no cool arms wrapped around her, no velvet voice there to hum her back to sleep.
He was gone. Again. Had he not just promised her that he wouldn't leave again, not without her? Not again…no. He couldn't have. But…he wasn't here. So where else would he be? But it didn't matter now. He didn't want her anymore- that much was obvious by his leaving a second time. She gulped, trying to hold back the tears that were pricking the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. She could do it again. Could she? Could she live without him again, for the rest of her fragile, human life? He had told her that she would forget him eventually. Could she really forget someone who had become such a big part of her life? Someone who had been her life for six wonderful, beautiful, blissful months?
No. She couldn't. He would always be a part of her, just as she had always hoped she would be a part of him. But she wasn't any longer. He had left, never to return, she was sure.
She shivered and burrowed herself under her blankets, and cried. She cried for him, and the pain he went through for nothing. She cried for his family, having to stay here just so he could play with her. She cried for Charlie, having to see her like this again. She cried for everyone who was affected by her behavior, but not for herself. She had always known that he was too good for her, and that he wouldn't stay with her forever. But the reality of waking up without him for the rest of her life was too much for her to handle.
She didn't know if she could do it again. She would. For Charlie, for Renee, for everyone who meant something to her. Slowing her breathing, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, and laid back down, sniffling. She looked at her clock once more- 3:30 am. She sighed. If he had Alice watching for her, she would've seen something by now, and he would be here. With one final deep breath, she rolled over on her bed, under the covers. Sleep came to her in the earlier hours of the morning, after waiting for what seemed like ever for him to materialize at her window. When he didn't, she finally let sleep take her.
When she awoke, she told herself that he would not be here. There was no reason for him to be. They would not be in school; Carlisle would not be at the hospital. They would be back in "L.A." again. She sighed, and got out of bed, playing on the months of practice with being "normal" she had had when he left the first time. This time, it was easier. No one had known they were back, except for Charlie. But he wouldn't care. He had never liked him anyway. It would truly be as if he had never existed. She went into the bathroom, made herself somewhat presentable for school, and trudged down the stairs to make breakfast for herself and Charlie. He didn't ask her any questions, she didn't offer any answers.
Each day was hard, but she worked through it. She had to. For Charlie, for Renee, for him. She would keep herself whole, and alive, with the small hope that one day, he would once again return to her.