Olimar was on another delivery and it was awful. He normally enjoyed his job, and usually he could steal from the cargo because it was food or something, but this time he... he couldn't. He was delivering body parts, but not frozen body parts. No, he was delivering living body parts.

Thanks to a sort of new science or something, the freezing of body parts for preservation was no longer needed. The body parts were just adjusted to live on their own, and now there was a huge market for living body parts, which was great for the people who were making them, but not for Olimar. They were really annoying.

The hands kept trying to grope him, the legs kept trying to kick him, the faces were trying to kiss him, and Olimar was about to go insane. He was tempted to pull out a gun and shoot everything in sight, but he controlled himself, so instead he just locked all the body parts in the back of the ship. Unfortunately, a tongue managed to hide from him.

As soon as he sat back down, the tongue threw itself onto the windshield and started licking violently. Then it fell onto Olimar and started licking his face. Olimar freaked out, pulled out his gun and unloaded a clip into it. By the time he was done the tongue was pretty much nothing.

Then Olimar reloaded and went to the back of the ship. He was immediately greeted by the living body parts, but this time Olimar wasn't playing nice guy. No, he was angry. "I wish all of you had nuts... because then I could shoot them. But I'll take what I can get," Olimar mumbled through gritted teeth. Then he shot all of the body parts, and was about to shoot himself, but was halted when the ship crashed. Apparently that happens when nobody's piloting the ship.

Anyways, Olimar had a really poorly made ship so when it crashed it blew apart into about thirty thousand... and three pieces and Olimar was sent flying for a few miles. Luckily for him, he survived, but the force of the explosion knocked him out. In case you don't know what it means to be knocked out, he was unconscious - simple as that.

After a few hours, Olimar woke up. He looked around, and saw that he was on some bizarre planet. "Where am I? Who am I? Why am I?" Olimar stared at his hands for a time, then spoke again, "WHY THE FREAKIN'?" Olimar screamed, and then he totally freaked out. He violently ripped off his spacesuit and clothing and started punching the ground. "Take that you demon! Take that!" After a good ten minutes of nonstop punching and yelling, Olimar started climbing trees and jumping off of them.

"Nothing can stop me now!" he yelled with an evil laugh, "The world is my snail!" Once he had enough of jumping off the trees, he started screaming... very loudly. He screamed so loud and so long that his throat literally started to bleed. I'm not even kidding you. Blood and pieces of his throat actually started flying out of his mouth, and eventually he couldn't even talk. It was pretty intense, and gross... a mix of intense and gross.

Once Olimar couldn't talk anymore, he started sprinting. He was moving as fast as he could possibly go (Take note that Olimar is still naked). Eventually he came to some sort of basin thing. I don't really know what to call it. There was like a giant ten foot hole in the ground that was about the size of a swimming pool in perimeter. I'll just call it, "The Hole of Epic Leviathan People" or H.E.L.P for short.

So anyways, Olimar was running and saw the H.E.L.P ahead of him and he thought to himself, "I'm totally going to jump off that crap!" So he sprinted even faster towards it, but when he saw it was only like ten feet deep he said to himself, "Oh man! That's like... It's like... It's like something! Bro, how am I supposed to kill the woman if I can't even kill the woman?" Then he decided to not jump into the H.E.L.P, but unfortunately, he decided not to jump into it after he had already jumped into it, so he fell ten feet and was knocked out. Again.

Olimar is kind of stupid.

When he woke up he saw a piece of his ship next to him. He grabbed it and looked at it. "Woah! That's crazy! I must have landed next to this piece of my ship when I jumped into the H.E.L.P but didn't even notice that I landed next to it because I was delirious from my temporary insanity. Hm... I have to think about this..." So Olimar thought. After a few minutes of thinking he said, "I've got it! I must have landed next to this piece of my ship when I jumped into the H.E.L.P but didn't even notice that I landed next to it because I was delirious from my temporary insanity. I have a plan though! I'll stop freaking out, look for ship pieces, and then fly away!" Right after he said that, he heard a noise behind him and quickly turned around.

There was a creature standing there. It was red, extremely tiny, and it had some sort of stem thing coming out of its head with a leaf at the top. The creature was about as tall as Olimar, including the height of the stem, but the stem basically doubled the size of the creature. "What are you?" Olimar asked. It just stared at him. "Can you talk?" It gave him a blank stare.

This frustrated Olimar, and he became bitter with the creature. "Listen you little piece of crap!" he said very tersely, "You better answer me otherwise I'm going to destroy your nuts!" It still looked at Olimar blankly.

Olimar lost his composure completely and slapped it across its face. The creature's head popped off and blood began to spray from its neck... a lot of blood. It kept coming and coming. Olimar was drenched in seconds. "Ah! What the heck? I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'll do whatever you want me to do forever! Just please stop bleeding! If you do, I'll give you my nuts!" Of course, that didn't work, so Olimar ran. He went to the edge of the H.E.L.P, climbed the ten foot wall, and then sprinted as fast as he could back the way he came. He ran until he came back to where he tore off his clothes. "What the heck?" he said, "When did I become naked?" Then he shrugged his shoulders and put on his clothes and space suit.

"Now what was I going to do?" Olimar looked around and spotted another piece of his spaceship. "OH THE FRICK YEAH! I was going to rebuild my spaceship. Smart." So Olimar picked up the second piece of his ship and started walking to nowhere in particular.

But as said before, Olimar is pretty stupid so he ended walking back the way he came and he saw the H.E.L.P, but it was filled to the brim with blood and the creature's body was floating in it. "Ew! Gross!" Olimar screamed, while pointing at the H.E.L.P. Then he ran away from it. After maybe an hour of mindless wandering, Olimar came to the entrance of a cave. He decided it would be a good idea to go in, so he did.

The cave was huge, and somehow it was light inside, even though there was no source of light. Olimar stood and stared at the size of the cave. As he was staring like a fool, another creature walked up to him, and it looked exactly like the first one he saw. It pointed at him. "Um... Where did you come from? Can I help you? What are you pointing at? Do I have a booger? I'm sorry! My helmet's in the way so I can't fix it!"

Then a huge group of the creatures came out. There were so many of them, that the creatures filled the cave completely. Also, there blue and yellow creatures, along with the red ones. For some reason, they were all pointing at Olimar. "Why is everybody staring at me? STOP! PLEASE STOP! JUST KILL ME NOW BEFORE SHE COMES HOME!" Olimar started backing up, but there was a creature behind him so he tripped and accidentally fell onto his whistle. All the creatures gathered closer to him.

"What the heck?" he asked. Olimar stood up and hit the whistle again. They didn't do anything. He started walking away from them, but they all followed. He went outside the cave, and the entire group followed him out.

"Well, this is just bizarre," Olimar muttered to himself, "But it gives me an idea..."

To be continued...