a/n: Takes place the morning following "Sweet Kicks". I do not own anything except for the mistakes. Thank you in advance for stopping by!

Lucifer

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Chapter One

Being Lord of Hell was not without its privileges. Lucifer could reach into humans and draw out the desires hidden beneath the surface of their beings. Some desires, he found, were darker and buried deep. Some were more innocent and floated near the surface. In any case, these desires were a significant driving force behind human behavior. The mortal struggle was constant; selfishness versus selflessness, do good for one's self or do good for another. The entire conflict amused him, as each person reacted differently to the choices on the table. Those who chose to satisfy their own interests appealed more to Lucifer than those that sacrificed their own benefits. Temptation, after all, was his specialty, and when temptation won, delightful things occurred. With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he could capture the gaze of an unsuspecting subject – Tell me, what do you desire more than anything in this life? – and pull delicious secrets from the depths of the human soul. Though extracting desires from some people proved challenging, never in all his years had Lucifer come across a person he could not manipulate into telling the dirty truth.

Until he met Chloe Decker.

Lucifer's preternatural influence had no effect on the homicide detective and his curiosity over the preposterous development morphed into a mission. Despite her claimed repulsion of his presence, she didn't seem to mind his company; at least not to a point of putting up a convincing fight to drive him away. So he set aside his general interactions with humanity and started to work on the enigma of the woman. However, learning about her, about her imperviousness to his effect had proven tedious. He had little contact with her, little time to ask his questions, to make his observations. He needed more. He needed a reason to be consistently by her side.

To his delight, a doorway to opportunity had presented itself during the previous days in the form of Benny Choy, a business associate who owed Lucifer a favor. An attempt on Benny's life had inadvertently taken that of an innocent young Latino woman. Using his personal connection to and knowledge of the intended target, Lucifer had convinced the department's lieutenant to allow his involvement in Chloe's investigation. A deal made, the case solved, and favors exchanged, the lieutenant found the advantageous publicity she so desperately sought from the Latino community and Lucifer found himself officially a civilian consultant for the department, solely in relation to Chloe's cases. It was a trivial title, a trivial position, yet it offered him precious time with the detective.

With a soft yet exasperated sigh, Lucifer leaned the heels of his palms along the edge of the granite top of the vanity and stared blankly into the mirror. The silk collar of his white dress shirt stood stiffly against the skin of his neck, waiting to fold over the black tie. He had not been able to concentrate long enough to start the process of securing the loop, however, and the ends of the tie had fallen to hang loosely over his shoulders, unknotted. He could not focus on anything except Chloe. Thoughts of the detective had occupied the better part of his morning, just as they had plagued his mind throughout the night. Throughout the previous months, if he was genuinely honest with himself.

Pulling the tie from around his neck, Lucifer dropped it on the vanity and left the bathroom. He wandered into the open area of his penthouse and made his way towards the bar. As he neared the sofa, he stopped, taking in the closed eyes and satisfied smile of the female draped across the cushions. He allowed himself a short, amused hum before continuing across the room. Sliding himself behind the counter, he grabbed a full bottle and an empty glass, and poured a healthy dose of scotch. His gaze focused through the floor-to-ceiling windows and into the beauty of the sun bursting into the morning sky.

"Last night was incredible," the female voice purred. Lucifer pulled himself from the splendid mix of colors and white clouds, and glanced towards the sofa.

"I have no doubt it was spectacular, Maze," he smiled gently. She rolled onto her stomach and rested her hands and her chin on the arm of the sofa.

"You should have joined us." Lucifer's eyes dropped to the drink in his hand and his smile slowly fell. He could have joined them, would have had he not spent a good portion of the night walking through the city, wandering aimlessly as he pondered the detective's behavior. She had not argued upon discovering that he, in his newly established consultant position, was her new partner. At least now I can keep my eye on you, she had said. Keep your enemies close, right? Close. That was exactly what he had wanted to hear. He had glossed over the 'enemies' portion of her comment, flashed a smile and drawn closer to her. Does this mean you're ready to take me home and consummate our new arrangement? Oh, the way she had laughed, the way she had leaned into him; the way her eyes teased the sultry thoughts he yearned to discover and fulfill. Yet that had not been what she had in mind. It had been a ruse, a mock of his interest. Slipping into the driver's seat of her vehicle, she had locked the doors and driven away, leaving him eager and confounded, alone in the alley.

"Perhaps next time."

"What's bothering you?" Maze asked, rising from the sofa. He took a long sip of the scotch and shook his head. "Lucifer?" She moved to the bar and sat on one of the thickly padded stools. Her concern shifted to anger as she studied his sharp profile. "You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" 'Thinking' did not do his mind's activities justice. Once he had returned to his penthouse and had thrown himself into the satin sheets of his bed, he had expended the remaining hours of the night dreaming of Chloe, torn between cursing and admiring the manner in which she yielded her naughty playfulness.

"I need your help, Maze," he smiled, quickly turning his attention to her.

"Lucifer," she warned slowly.

"Don't get yourself all twisted," he said. "You haven't even heard my plan yet." She tapped her long, black-painted nails on the bar top as she narrowed her eyes.

"I don't want to hear it." She slid off the bar stool and walked towards the elevator.

"I could just order you to help me." Maze stopped and turned to look at him. His gaze had returned to the window and he slowly rolled his wrist, swishing the amber liquid around the bottom of the glass. "Though I would hope, being that it's important to me, you'll be a dear and help without the directive."

"I'm not here to play your games."

"You exist to protect me, Maze," he reminded her. "And I feel as though I may need…extra protection on the morn of this fine day." He looked at her and shrugged sheepishly.

"Huh. Just what are you planning to do?" she asked, eyebrow raised in interest.

"Why, our pet detective, of course," he smiled widely.

"She's not my pet, Lucifer," Maze scowled. "She's yours."

"Yes, be that as it may." He swallowed the last of the scotch and cleared his throat as he refilled the glass. "I am off to play cop this morning, and I need you to keep tabs on Detective Douche."

"Lucifer, no."

"Maze, yes," he said, rolling his eyes as he took a drink.

"No."

"Yes." His dark eyes locked on hers, his features stern. "He is not to find his way to his estranged wife's house, under any circumstances." His expression softened. "Maze," he started gently, "I know this is well beneath your exceptional abilities and far from anything about which you care, but I need the assist." She took a turn to roll her eyes. "Also, this is not really a 'by any means necessary' situation," he added. "There's no need to torture the dim-witted detective. At least, not yet," he smiled. "So, whatever you do, no blood and guts. The last time you left entrails everywhere, well…" He laughed, sweeping a hand through the air. "It was a beautiful, fantastic mess, but it took weeks to clean up."

"I am not a fucking babysitter!" she yelled. He hummed around a mouthful of liquid as he raised a finger from the glass.

"Speaking of, Douche will be taking the offspring to school. She is an innocent and not to be involved in whatever scheme you dream up. Understood?"

"Lucifer—"

"Do you understand?" he asked slowly, his voice harsher, louder.

"Yes." Maze folded her arms across her chest. "How, exactly, does this fit into protecting you?"

"Detective Douche was none too pleased finding me at Detective Decker's house the other morning. He thinks I want to sleep with her, that I'm a threat to him," he laughed. "Can't imagine what gives him that idea." He took another drink and shrugged. "A jealous man, with a gun," he said pointedly, "and a devil who seems to suddenly have a weakness when it comes to lead projectiles. I mean, who's to say how that scenario plays out."

"You know, some days, I almost wish he'd shoot you," she huffed. Turning on her heel, Maze quickly headed to the elevator. Lucifer released a satisfied sigh and downed the last two mouths-full of scotch in one swallow. His thoughts returned to the night before, to the first few moments in the alley as he watched the taillight's of Chloe's car vanish into the distance. He had stared at that spot long after their disappearance, attempting to put a name to what had happened. Was leaving him there merely fun and games, a playful, child-like joshing? Or was she really teasing him, playing hard to get, as he had recently surmised? He could not decide which of the two behaviors was the most likely.

"Turnabout fits nicely into my little niche of punishment, doesn't it?" he asked aloud as he regarded his empty glass. A slow, sly smile spread across his face. "Chloe, Chloe, Chloe," he mused. "Whatever shall I do with you?"

Lucifer

With the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled to his elbows and a soft hum falling from his lips, Lucifer worked delicately over three pans on the island stove. The food was nearly ready, as he hoped his dear detective would soon be. Chloe had turned off the shower some time ago, though she had yet to make her appearance in the kitchen. He did not understand why she, like so many mortals, took so long to ready for the day. There was certainly something satisfying in the comfort offered by a warm spray of water cascading down one's body, but Lucifer found it a wasted luxury if there were not multiple bodies sharing said spray. He also understood and appreciated the desire to look one's best, but could not comprehend the human inefficiency in doing do. There was simply too much to do, too much to discover and take pleasure in, to squander one's times in a sodden state or staring at one's reflection.

However, if Chloe felt her time better spent prepping and dolling up, Lucifer was not going to complain. He appreciated her natural look, her wavy, golden hair, her lightly tanned skin, yet her glammed-up appearance sparked his fancy all the same. The darker tint of color and faint outline of black she sometimes sported around her eyes brought out a stunning sparkle of blue that was often lost in the pale shade of the orbs. The subtle brush of pink across her cheeks thinned her face, drawing attention to the fullness of her lips; lips he deemed kissable regardless of the color they wore.

No, he had no complaints.

As he expertly folded the first of two omelets, Lucifer laughed lightly. Maybe he had one complaint. One small complaint. He did not care for the attire Chloe insisted on wearing, believing the dark jeans and dress pants, and the loosely fitting tops left entirely too much to the imagination. Not that his imagination needed to wander. After all, he was well acquainted with her nude scene in Hot Tub High School. There was also the more recent, private showing during his previous attempt to make her breakfast. It had been a delightful surprise when she had greeted him in the precariously secured towel, unintentionally baring her wet skin in all its tempting, sumptuous glory. He knew there was no chance she would greet him in such a fashion a second time, and that only made his longing for less boring attire that much stronger. Would it hurt for her to don a short-skirted dress every now and again; to show off the lovely legs she kept hidden beneath the material of her slacks?

Lucifer did not think it would.

In fact, he knew it wouldn't. He had quite the opportunity to see the habitually veiled limbs the evening of that very day, after she had talked him into hosting the Players' After Party. He would readily admit to a great feeling anticipation, nearly pacing a hole through the tiled floor of his penthouse as he waited eagerly through those brief minutes while she changed out of her bland shirt and pants, and into the short, red, sheet of a dress he had lent her. Once she had stepped into his view wearing the sexy little dress, his lips had parted and his lungs had drawn a slow breath. She had looked at him, hands and an eyebrow lifted in silent question. Unable to vocalize his thoughts, all he had been able to do was nod his approval.

The detective's towel malfunction aside, Lucifer did not want to see any other part of that spoiled morning repeated. Despite her aversion to the task, Maze would follow his orders, and Lucifer would not see his time with Chloe interrupted by her soon-to-be ex-husband, or their offspring. He would not see the omelets ruined, burned as was certainly the fate of his first endeavor. He would not see himself exiled from Chloe's house, pushed aside and out in the hustle of such sudden and intrusive chaos.

"No, no, Detective," he said quietly as he topped each of the omelets with a large pinch of shredded cheese. "Not this time." He placed his hands on his hips and smiled proudly as he looked over the pans. "Ah. Omelets, nice and fluffy. Hash browns, browning. And bacon…not too fatty, not too crisp; perfect for indulgence of unnecessary calories." He grabbed the spatula and pushed the hash browns around the pan, resuming his light humming until he heard the soft patter of approaching footsteps. "You have an awful habit of taking almost literally forever to prepare yourself for the day."

"Lucifer," Chloe greeted with a sigh as she reached his side.

"Happy to see me?" he smiled.

"Not really, no. And I do not take 'almost literally forever' to get ready."

"Oh, I beg to differ."

"Beg all you'd like," she said flippantly, eying the pans.

"Beg," he laughed, setting the spatula on the countertop. "I do believe that is your angle, Detective."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I think it's quite obvious," he said. "I've been very clear in my intentions from the get-go. You have thwarted my every effort. 'Beg all you'd like'," he repeated. "I think that is exactly what you're waiting for." She tipped her head to the side, mulling over his words as a soft breath left her lips.

"You think I'm waiting for you…to beg to sleep with me?"

"Bingo." Chloe closed her eyes and shook her head.

"It's too early in the morning for this," she mumbled.

"It is never too early in the morning," he replied with a wink.

"Hmm. Honesty at its finest."

"Yes, it is." He turned off the burners. "And what do I have to show for it, hmm? I'll tell you what I have. I have a partner who ditches me in an alley in the middle of the night instead of making good on her little…provocative display," he said, waving a hand in her direction. Lucifer shook his head and huffed a bit of an annoyed laugh. "You, Chloe Decker, are a clever one. That is an adjective I will not deny you. Moreover, I will allow you conniving. Devious," he said pointedly, folding his arms in front of his chest. "Deceitful."

"Are you upset that I left without you last night?" she asked, offering an insincere pout.

"Shrewd," he continued, his voice rising slightly in volume. "Dastardly, wily, manipulative, underhanded, mean, and…" He stepped closer and narrowed his eyes. "Tease."

"Think of those during your walk home?"

"Left without me," he mocked, ignoring her goading and returning his attention to the pans. "You make it sound as though your actions were purely accidental. What you did…" He pointed the spatula at her. "That was outright abandonment." He flashed a cocky smile. "And yet, here I am, making you a wonderful breakfast despite such a desertion. Good thing I like you, eh?"

"Yeah, lucky me. Speaking of breakfast…" His eyes followed her hand as she reached in front of him towards a paper towel-covered plate. The cuff of her green shirt covered all but the tips of her fingers. "Why are you making me breakfast?" she asked as slim digits peeked farther from the fabric to grab a piece of bacon. "Again? Because I'm pretty sure I told you not to break into my house anymore." He watched her lift the thin piece of fried meat to her mouth. She took a bite and then licked a spot of grease from her bottom lip.

"Yes, right, Love." He cleared his throat and tore his attention from her mouth. "You did in fact say that. But we're partner now," he said cheerily. "And partners do things together."

"Like having breakfast?"

"Among other things," he added with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows.

"Yeah. Nope." His smile fell.

"There's the table," he said, pointing across the room. "Be a good detective and sit." With a shake of her head and a light laugh, Chloe made her way to the table and took a seat. Two places were set, each with a small glass of orange juice and a fork. "Here we are," Lucifer said, setting a full plate in front of her. "Now doesn't that look scrumptious?"

"It does," she agreed as she reached for her glass of juice.

"I cannot wait to see what case the day has in store for us," he said as he sat down. "I am absolutely beside myself with anticipation." Chloe pulled the glass from her lips and regarded it with a frown.

"Lucifer?" she started, trying to identify the odd flavor to the drink. "It tastes like there's…a lot of vodka in my orange juice." She shifted her eyes to his. "Did you…did you put vodka in the orange juice?" He simply smiled and raised his glass in toast. She shook her head. "I'll just have water."

Lucifer kept his eyes on her as she pushed back the chair and made her way across the room. She had not completely dried her hair after her shower and the strands gathered in thick sections near the end of their lengths. Where they lay around her shoulders, they left wet splotches on her shirt. As she opened the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water, he noticed how the long sleeve of her shirt stretched snuggly over the curve of her elbow. A quick peek of her hands as she returned to the table revealed what he suspected. Curled fingers tightly clenched the cuffs, never allowing the fabric to bare her hands. As Chloe sat down, she met Lucifer's eyes.

"Are you cold, Detective?" he asked lightly.

"Cold?" He motioned towards her hands with a quick, upward tilt of his fork. "Oh. No. Short arms, long sleeves," she said with a shrug. The fake smile she offered vanished quickly as she wigged the fingers of her right hand out of the cuff. As she picked up her fork, her left hand fell into her lap with almost nervous movement and he knew she had not abandoned her grasp of the shirt.

"Right," he nodded slowly. "Of course." Lucifer followed suit as Chloe began to eat her breakfast but his attention remained locked on her. Her posture was lax, her shoulders slumping forward. Her eyes didn't hold their typical sparkle. She looked exhausted. He clearly had not been the only one denied a decent night's sleep, though he doubted her deprivation caused by the same reason as his. Still, whatever weighed so heavily on her mind captured his attention and he was grateful to have the day to appease that curiosity.

Lucifer

I find you repulsive; like on a chemical level. Those words were not entirely truthful. Chloe had not cared for Lucifer's 'God's gift to women' kind of attitude and had uttered the statement simply out of a need to knock his ego down a few hundred pegs. Though he still made racy comments, he had curbed their occurrence in her presence. To a point. A small point. The remarks did not appear in every part of their conversations, rather inserted at the right moments to maintain his slick, cunning persona. She didn't always appreciate hearing them, but the more she learned about him, the better she understood him, the more she saw the comments as an innocent part of his fun-loving, flirty nature.

It was only the overbearing sexual approach she had found repulsive, not Lucifer himself. She remembered the night they met, the first time she had set foot in his high-priced club. She had watched him from the staircase as he sat at his piano, quiet, calm. Perfect. It wasn't until he had started talking to her – I could swear I've seen you naked. – that she formed a negative opinion. No other part of him deserved use of the 'repulsive' description. He was always dressed to the nines, his clothing melding perfectly to his tall frame. He had a lean figure, not overly muscular but perfectly sculpted and contoured. He was certainly attractive with a brilliant smile and piercing brown eyes. His accent was smooth, his mannerisms genteel and no less than chivalrous. Lucifer used each quality to his advantage, ensuring everything assisted in radiating a playboy charm. Yet he did more than exude that type of charisma, he practically bled the seduction, the promise of complete fulfillment of sexual desire, he offered.

Chloe was not blind to his allure. If she were to say she never in an absent moment found herself thinking about his smile or the incredible darkness of his eyes, she would be lying. If she were to say she didn't like the way his hair curled subtly in defiance of its perfectly straight-styled position as the day wore on, she would be lying. If she were to say she never wondered why she was the target of his attention, or just what he would do to satisfy his appetite if she gave in, she would by lying. However, she could say in all honesty that not once in the short amount of time she had known Lucifer did she feel an urge to wrap herself shamelessly around him. She could not say the same of a handful of female officers and employees that worked on her floor.

The small group of women had gathered around Lucifer as soon as he had exited the elevator. With an incredulous shake of her head, Chloe had cut through the crowd and had made her way to the lieutenant's office. She had then wandered towards her desk with information on a new case. Lucifer, on the other hand, had not moved more than a couple of steps away from the elevator. Standing in front of her desk with her arms crossed and fingers impatiently drumming against her elbows, Chloe waited for him to cross the squad room. She rolled her eyes with each woman that took a turn to latch onto his arm. They smiled, they giggled, they cooed in response to his attention. He collected more than a fair share of kisses on the cheek and one rather involved kiss on the mouth. He also pocketed two small pieces of paper; papers Chloe was certain contained phone numbers.

"Looks like someone is taking his job as a civilian consultant seriously, huh?" Chloe closed her eyes to the sarcastic voice at her side. "Do you fawn all over him, too?"

"Dan," she started firmly.

"No, no. I get it now. The other morning, when you were in nothing but a towel…" He laughed. "You're sleeping with him and that's how you keep him in line."

"It's not like that."

"I'm not so sure, Chloe," he said as she turned towards him. "See this from my point of view," he started, flicking a thumb across his bottom lip. "It's early in the morning, Lucifer is at your house making breakfast, and you're fresh out of the shower, no clothes. How do you think that looks?"

"He broke into the house while I was in the shower, Dan," she defended. "I—"

"Save it," he interrupted. "I really don't want to hear it." She turned away and bit at the inside of her cheek in an attempt to fight off her irritation. "Come on, Chloe," he sighed. "Even our daughter thought he spent the night. You're lucky she doesn't understand what she's implying. She's having enough of a difficult time with the separation as it is."

"That's the key word, Dan. Separation. What happened to my personal life being none of your business?" she asked quietly as she turned to him. "I don't have to explain myself to you. I know I didn't do anything I shouldn't have done, and that's all that matters."

"Whatever." Chloe shifted her attention to Lucifer as he bid the last of the women a good day and slowly, purposefully turned the shameless gaze of his black eyes towards her. She held the gaze, unable to look away and uncaring in the moment as she felt Dan's indignation fill the space around her. Lucifer let a small smile pull at the corner of his mouth as his tongue quickly flicked across the inside of his bottom lip. "Look at him," Dan muttered. "He looks like he's ready to pounce." Slipping a hand into his pants pocket, Lucifer allowed the other to hang loosely in the air in front of his chest and widened the smile of his face as he sauntered towards them.

"Ah, there they are," he drawled. "Beauty and the beast."

"Can you please not do that?" she asked quietly as he neared.

"Do what?" he asked innocently. "Pay you a compliment?"

"No," she replied slowly. "Flirt with every woman in the building? I don't have time to wait around while you sleep with everyone."

"So I can pay you a compliment? To be clear, I was calling Detective Douche the beast." His hand flipped to the side, motioning towards Dan. "You are, of course, the beauty."

"Lucifer," she warned. He laughed lightly and clasped his hands behind his back.

"All right, all right. A might jealous, are we?"

"I'm not…" She closed her eyes and consciously lowered the volume of her voice. "I'm not jealous," she finished quietly.

"Nor should you be," Lucifer quickly assured her. "After all, you and I have all day to flirt." He dropped his eyes to follow the line of her body as his playful smile changed into a naughty smirk. "And do other things." He moved to her side, speaking quietly over her shoulder. "Remember, close proximity," he started, looking up and meeting Dan's angry eyes with a smug grin. "At all times." Chloe lifted her chin to look at Lucifer; he looked down at her, his lips forming a subtle pout of kiss. When her lips parted, Dan knew Lucifer had her full attention, whether or not Chloe realized it.

"The two of you are unbelievable," he mumbled as he shook his head.

"We do make quite the pair, don't we?" Lucifer sighed happily as Dan walked away. He smiled, pleased with himself for crawling so far under the male detective's skin. It was not a challenging task, quickly achieved with a simple string of words and a heavy dose of insinuation, but it was a reaction Lucifer could not resist eliciting. Checking his pride, he slipped his hands into his pockets and dropped his gaze to Chloe's stern features. He held his breath, waiting for her to admonish his calculated and obvious behavior. She offered no words, simply staring at him for a moment before stepping closer. Circling her fingers around the left lapel of his suit coat, she roughly pulled it aside, nearly slipping the fabric from his shoulder. "Detective," he purred. "Right here in front of everyone?"

"Shut up, Lucifer." She shoved her other hand into the inside breast pocket.

"I never pegged you as an exhibitionist. Your big movie break excluded, of course. But if you're willing, then I am most certainly—"

"Lucifer." Chloe lifted her pale blue eyes to his. "Shut up." She pulled the two pieces of paper from the pocket and released her hold on his clothing. Her fingers shifted the papers; her eyes scanned the letters and numbers scribbled on each. "Yeah, you can't have these," she said. He frowned with confusion as she rolled the pieces into a ball and threw it into the small wire wastebasket next to her desk.

"And…why not?"

"Because the women that gave you those phone numbers are married," she explained as she turned towards him.

"So?"

"So." Chloe sighed and shook her head. "Lucifer, there are plenty of single people for you to…" She waved a hand towards him. "Do whatever it is you want to do. You don't get to break up someone's marriage just to scratch your itch."

"No one said anything about breaking up a marriage," he defended. "I've found that many couples enjoy a little experimentation every now and again. A little…spice." He smiled and lifted his arms, fingertips touching, elbows spread. "Eifel Tower," he reminded her.

"Lucifer, I have work to do," she said. "No more playing kissy-face with all of the ladies, okay?" He straightened his stance and slowly began to circle her.

"Well," he started, perching on the corner of her desk, "I wouldn't have to look for other prospects if you would just agree to my proposition."

"Proposition?" she laughed, turning to face him. "You didn't propose anything. You just declared that you're going to sleep with me." He laughed lightly, enjoying the way she dramatically swept her arms through the air.

"Oh. I did do that, didn't I? Would it have made a difference if I had asked nicely? Said 'please'?"

"No."

"Hmm." He tangled his fingers and placed his joined hands over his thigh. "You have work to do?"

"Yes."

"So you have a case." His eyes lit up.

"Yep," she sighed.

"Say it," he goaded, nudging her elbow with the back of his hand.

"We have a case," she amended begrudgingly.

"Because we're…" He encouraged her words with a roll of his hand.

"Maybe I should shoot you, again."

"Partners," he said, making no effort to hide the irritation in his voice. "The correct answer is partners." He folded his arms across his chest. "I sure hope you're a bit more on your game today whilst we're out in the rough of the city, Detective." She shook her head and moved to the other side of her desk. "I'm all for living on the edge but I find being riddled with bullets rather annoying."

"I don't know why you're worried. After all, you are immortal." He stood and regarded her, pushing through the sarcasm of her words with derision of his own.

"Yes, but you are not. And if I lose you to some dimwit on the streets, whatever shall I do for fun?" She smiled and nodded her head in concession. Placing her fabric-covered palms on the desk, she leaned over it and towards him. "Ooh," he breathed, mimicking her stance as he raised an eyebrow.

"You know what?"

"Hmm." He dropped his gaze to her lips, licked his in anticipation. "What?"

"I think I'm past the 'maybe'," she replied. "I will absolutely shoot you, again."

"Yes, well. Aim for the other leg this time, please." He stood and settled a hand over his thigh, his face wearing a mocked expression of pain. "Maybe it will even out the limp." He straightened the front of his suit. "Now, are you going to tell me what heinous misdeed we shall be exploring today or are you going to make me guess?" Chloe smiled softly and gathered a few file folders from the top of her desk.

"Museum curator," she said, shoving the folders into her bag. "Shot twice, died on the way to the hospital. Her husband, a lawyer, is MIA."

"Lawyers, ugh," Lucifer shivered.

"What? You don't like lawyers?" she asked, rounding the desk.

"Not at all. Hell is crowded with them," he explained as he followed her to the elevator. "Loathsome buggers, think they can talk their way out of their punishments. They never know when to shut up." Chloe smiled lightly and entered the car as the doors opened.

"I can see why that would bother you." She pressed the button for the lowest floor and the doors closed. "I bet you can't get a word in edgewise to talk about yourself." Lucifer laughed heartily and slowly clapped his hands.

"Oh-ho! If it isn't Funny's cousin, Not Funny! Now that it's all out of your system, let's put away the mic, shall we? We have a crime to investigate. It's not the appropriate time for jokes."

"That's my line."

"Perfect," he stated with an exaggerated roll of his eyes and drop of his shoulders. "It's only our first official case together and you're already starting to rub off on me. You are a horrible influence, Detective." He narrowed his eyes. "Despicable." The doors opened to the parking garage and Chloe backed out of the elevator.

"Come on, Columbo," she laughed lightly. "Let's go see our crime scene."