Author's Notes: I hope that you enjoy this story. I don't own Gravity Falls...unless I'm actually Mr. Hirsch! (I'm not. I just like messing with people.) Have an excellent day! If you please, read and review!
You like turkey? You want mashed potatoes? Marshmallows and historical inaccuracies make whet your appetite? Great! I'm Grunkle Stan, and for my community service, I have to make a guide to Thanksgivinz! Wait. Thanksgivinz. ThanksgivinZ. ZZZZZZZZ. MABEL, HELP ME! A letter on my typewriter just stopped workinz! Mabed! No, now the otzer leters are' workinz! Curse you, technologz!
Eleven hours later…
Step One: Everyones loves gifts, and Thanksgiving is all about gifts! The magical Turkey God appeared to everyone at the first Thanksgiving and gave them presents of golden potatoes, all before devouring them for daring to trespass on his lawn chair! Yeah, apparently, most of North America was a lawn chair. Anyway, the tradition was passed down and down, all the way to us. We do the same things, except without the murder. Our mayor struck it down a couple a years ago. If it was still active now, Gideon would be DEAD! Blind the child, burn the child, AHAHAHHAHAHHA! Still, for the very best turkey-themed snow globes and mystical trinkets, come to the Mystery Shack!
Step Two: Turkeys! Good, red, delicious, meet! Mashed potatoes, stuffing, everything else- I only care about the turkey. The Mystery Shack's expert chef, Soos, knows everything there is to know about gourmet cooking! I recommend buying his recipe for mashed potatoes! We'll sell you all of the ingredients necessary, but the mallet's not included. Don't get greedy!
Step Three: Thanksgiving television specials. We sell DVDs of "When Baby Fights Saved Christmas", "Ducktective Solves The Mystery Of The White Ground Powder", "Xyler And Craz's Bodacious Sleigh Ride", and the Black And White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel's special marathon of Christmas stories, for the LOSERS among you. It features a wedding between Lady Snootington and Lord Puff-Puff- Wait, a wedding?! This item is now sold out. Good day to you all!
Step Four: Want a fun family outing? Come to the Mystery Shack for more trinkets! You can also listen to my crazy grand-nephew rant about Grem-Goblins and gnomes! See Mabel create cozy sweaters! Kill a turkey and eat it for that authentic feel!