Sometimes, being me comes with a lot of morality issues. My inability to distinguish what is and is not an ethical use of my powers. Is it wrong to distort someone's vision? Make them see their deepest fears and relive their regrets? Yeah, probably. Probably why I stay awake at night. Probably why I try to stay away from people, so I don't emotionally destroy them. Probably why Camp Half-Blood is trying to find me. They don't want a dangerously misunderstood 'psychopath' running around with no control of his abilities and a misinterpreted anger at the world. They think I ran away because of me 'not fitting in.' The constant neglect of other campers who were afraid of me. Sure the constant feeling of being an outcast that went along with people talking behind my back wasn't all that fun. Saying things like 'creep' and 'devil' when they thought I couldn't hear. To be honest, none of that really bothered me too much. People are afraid of what they don't understand, and with me being the only one of my kind, I get it. Hell, I'd be afraid of me too. Being the son of Phobos came with some pretty negative stigmas.
Every day I wake up wondering the same thing; Am I a good person? Have I done everything right, hell, anything right? I really, really want to be. My 'scary' powers make me look like a demon, wanting to destroy everything. In reality, I just want to help. I want to be needed and useful, but that's impossible if everyone doesn't want to be near you.
Okay, now, I know I come off as a self-loathing loser but, when when you're living alone in the middle of the woods because a bunch of extremely well trained demigods are after you with orders to use extreme force if I show any resistance you start to get a little concerned with your own morality.
My dad is the Greek god of Fear, so my main ability is forcing powerful, seemingly real hallucinations on people that represent their deepest fears. It has the worst tendency to leave people a little bit messed up and make me into a monster.
Right now, I'm hiding in an abandoned trailer in the middle of the woods, only entering civilization to get food. I've had a few run-ins with the demigods that are hunting me down, but I typically escape pretty easily. I feel bad about it but, they need to just let me be.
I stepped out of my trailer in the morning half-naked. Why dress up for people that aren't there? At this point I wished I wasn't, because the trailer was completely surrounded by demigods, pointing their swords and spears at me. I groaned, raising my arms at my side. "Why can't you guys just leave me alone? I don't want to hurt any of you." I said with a frown, dropping my arms angrily.
"We wish we could Jacob, we do," one of the kids called out, "this isn't fun for us either."
"Shut up, Evan," another kid snapped at him, "Just give up please, Jacob. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you, we just need you back at camp."
"It's not about what might happens to me," I said, grabbing a shirt from inside the trailer and slipping it on. "It's about everyone else." I walked back outside, letting a black mist with a hint of purple spill out of my fingertips and envelop my hands. "You all know what I can do, please just go away."
A few of the people saw the mist coming from my hands and took slight step back, but they didn't retreat. One of the kids, Evan, began to charge me, his spear pointed right at my torso. I sighed, pushing my arms out straight on both sides, allowing the black mist to explode into a sphere that engulfed everybody there. I cringed, hearing the almost immediate screams of the fearful. I didn't like to think about what they saw, because it's always terrible.
"I'm so sorry…" I mumbled, walking back into the trailer, grabbing the backpack I had, which was always ready for a random evacuation, and slinging it over my shoulder. I grabbed my pitch-black sword and walked back outside, passing through the black smoke until I was in the open woods again, leaving the terrifying ball of fear behind me.
Then, another demigod threw himself out of the bushes, lunging his sword at me. I only had enough time to lift my sword for a weak parry. In my shock, the kid managed to punch me in the face, making me fall on the ground in a dazed confusion. Before I knew it, he had handcuffs over my wrists, with my arms behind my back. He pulled me to my feet, holding on to the handcuffs.
I tried to use my powers, but nothing was able to come out. I sighed, looking at the kid, "these are those handcuffs that mess with your powers, aren't they?" This isn't the first time they've used them on me.
He nodded with a laugh, "that's right, Jacob."
That voice. I knew that voice. There's no way.
"They sent you? Really?" I said, "I can't be THAT important."
He took off his helmet, revealing the face of Percy Jackson, Poseidon's gift to man, one of the greatest heroes of all time. That's a VERY long time. "Yep, sorry man."
I groaned and looked at the rest of the demigods, who were starting to get up and snap back to reality. Once they regained their sanity, they started glaring daggers at me, which didn't exactly make me feel comfortable about the ride back to camp. I looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact as Percy walked me onto a chariot and sat me down, taking a seat across from me.
"Why'd you have to keep running, Jacob?" He said with a sigh, "we just wanted you to come home."
"I was home," I said, gazing at the run-down trailer below me as the pegasus in front of the chariot began to take flight. "Everyone is safer when I'm not there."
"Why don't you try, I don't know, NOT emotionally scarring people?" Evan spoke up, sneering at me.
"It's not that simple, don't you get it?" I yelled at him, "I can't always control it, sometimes it just happens and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm a ticking time-bomb that is due to explode at some time that no one knows. That's why I can't come back."
Evan scoffed and turned away, looking at the sky around him. I turned back to Percy pleading with him to let me go.
"What if I snap?" I asked him. "What if I hurt people? What if I hurt…" I paused for a second, "Annabeth?"
Percy's laid back look turned into a harsh and threatening glare. I guess the possible infliction of pain, intentional or not, on his extremely beloved girlfriend was a no-no. "Then it'll be the last thing you ever do."
I sighed again, "Percy please, I can't go back. I can't."
"With those handcuffs on, everything will be fine." He assured me. "Just sit back and relax, we'll be there in no time."