Title: Knock Down AU

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: An AU take on Knock Down, fluff and Caskett.

It had been a hard case, draining really, but the toll it had taken on her was clear for all to see. I didn't like that it had affected her so, she was still battling her demons, and all I wanted to do was help her.

And not knowing how to do that was frustrating, I was certain that just pulling her into a hug and refusing to let go would not work in my favour.

By the end of the case though there was a change about her, I had no idea what it was or how it had come to be, I was just glad for it. She seemed lighter, as if though some burden had been lifted.

I left the prescient with a grin, glad to have my partner back. She was honestly my best friend, and seeing her in the amount of distress that she had been in for this case wasn't pleasant in the slightest.

Once back at the loft, I watched on as my two red heads swirled about in a chaotic dance, preparing to leave the loft for the weekend. Mother had some or another reunion that she was going to and Alexis was staying at a friend's house to work on a project.

With the last slam of the door I finally allowed myself to sink boneless into the couch, it had been a long day. I let out a sigh as my hands lightly tugged at my hair. I was glad that this case was over with.

A faint knock on the door brought me out of my peaceful daze; glancing around the loft I noticed that it was already dark. I mentally rolled my eyes at myself for having been sitting in the dark for what must have be several hours already.

Getting to my feet I made my way over to the door, flicking on the lounges light switch on my way. I wasn't expecting anyone, not bothering to look through the peep hole I simply flung open the door.

"Um… Hi?" I asked lamely once I was done gaping.

Shaking myself out of my stupor I stepped aside to let her in, Beckett stepped over the threshold looking oddly hesitant. I frowned slightly in concern but managed to offer her a smile when her eyes landed on me.

"Hey…" She responded quietly, before glancing around again.

I closed the door, trying to tamper down on the urge to ask if she was okay. If this case had affected any one it would be her, but I knew that she wasn't one that thrived on constantly being asked if she was okay.

"Where are Martha and Alexis?" She asked stepping further into the loft.

"Gone for the weekend." I replied slowly, my eyes drawn to her slightly fidgeting hand. "Would you like something to drink or eat?"

Fidgeting was not something that Katherine Beckett did; she was a strong woman who could stare down killers without so much as blinking. It was slightly unnerving to see her fidgeting.

"Can we just talk?" She asked almost hesitantly a moment later, her gaze dropping from my eyes.

"Sure." I answered calmly, waving my hand for her to go further into the loft.

Maybe if I was lucky she would decide on the exact location that this talking was meant to be taking place in. Kitchen, lounge or my office, we never done well with talking. It always ended with a huge fight, hurt and anger.

I would really like to avoid that tonight; I took a seat across from her as she settled down on the leather couch in the lounge. Her hands were in her lap, but I could see a slight twitch in her too stiff fingers.

"I have something to tell you…" She started up after a minute of tense silence only to trail off again. "And I think you not going to be very happy with me, at all."

I leaned back in my chair at her words; I had an idea what she was talking about. But being patient right now would be for the best, if I was right though there was no telling how I would react.

"I haven't been completely honest…" She began cautiously. "I've been seeing a therapist, a shrink. Trying to work through things, you know?"

I didn't bother replying, I knew a rhetorical question from a question when it came to this woman. Sometimes she would joke that I liked her vocabulary, but it was true, I was just grateful that she didn't know how much.

"I…" She chocked out, only to gasp a lungful of oxygen. "I remember my shooting."

And there it was something that I had been fairly certain off for months. Ever since that day the hospital when she told me that she didn't remember it I hadn't been one hundred per cent convinced.

Her words only confirmed what I had suspected since the start, I had expected to have a bit of a violate reaction to her confession. But instead I only felt numb. It was almost surreal.

She was busy rambling, I could see her mouth moving but I couldn't hear the words that she was saying. She had a worried look on her usual poker face, almost close to panic. It took a few mental slaps before I could function again.

"I know." I said softly, gazing at her feet.

She was always in some sort of heels, or boots, I could count on one hand the number of times that I had ever seen her wear flats. I had no idea why she tried to be taller, she was a perfect height.

I mentally growled, I was getting distracted for too easily. Here she was trying to have a serious conversation and my mind was wondering about her shoes.

I managed to catch onto the last few words, what I heard was surprising but the way they were being said was something that I had never ever expected from her. I blinked stupidly as I looked at her, sitting on the couch across from me.

She looked so very vulnerable, something that she wasn't often and would never be if she had her way probably, but in this moment she was exposed. There she was, tears making their way down her face, her hands clenching tightly onto her pants material.

But the look on her face, in her eyes, it was so very heart breaking. It looked as if though someone had just kicked her beloved puppy, as if though something had been taken away from her.

Like she had lost something.

"Please Rick…" She sobbed out.

That was the final straw for me, Kate Beckett was many things to me, but no matter what I couldn't stand to see her so very sad. The moment I got up though from my seat, one would think that the puppy was no longer just being kicked but that someone had taken its head off.

She was standing in front of me before I could even blink, her large eyes staring up at me, tears clinging to her lashes. Even in this moment I couldn't help but notice just how beautiful she was.

"Please…" She whimpered out.

She was standing so very close; she was so unbelievably close to me. I stared down into her large eyes, trying to find something to say, trying to understand exactly was happening in this moment.

"Just give me one more chance…"

I wanted to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming, this could surely not be really happening. This was some sort of dream, fantasy; aliens would be beating down the door any second now.

Leaning forward, my lips brushed over hers, it was in that moment that I realized that this was real. That she was real and this was really happening.

This was now my reality, and if I had my way I would never let her go.

FIN.