'speaking' "thinking"

disclaimer: i own nothing. Although if I did...wow! Enjoy!

I couldn't do it. I just froze. I was so close! 'Damnit!' I moved the knife from my throat and put it down on the table near me. I laid on my crappy couch in my crap-ass, falling apart, worthless, piece of shit, of an apartment. I, Naruto Uzumaki, couldn't kill himself. "Why...? I can't do it. I should be able too. I would be doing everyone a favor." I thought. I sighed a heavy sigh. Everything in my life went from bad to worse. After sasuke left everything came crashing down. Sakura told me that I was a worthless creep who will always be a monster. Kakashi-sensai disappeared and Iruka..., the closest thing I had to a father, was... MURDERED in front of me. Oh did I forget to mention my life long friends don't consider me a good friend anymore. Not like they ever did. Gaara is the only one left now. Neji and Shikamaru are together, Shino and Kiba, Hinata and Kankuro tried, but I don't think it's working out. Everyone has someone special. Not me, but that's nothing new. 'Maybe I should take a cold shower.'

I said to the disgusting walls. I stood up and took the knife with me. I turned on the cold water since it's the only water the faggot manager would give me. I stripped down and looked at myself. Blond hair, sapphire like eyes that were red from all the drugs. Scarred, bruised, and skinny frame. I looked awful, but no one cares. I did the one thing that did make me feel... alive... I put the knife to my wrist and slit it slowly. 'NNN.' I've gotten used to the pain so it doesn't hurt that much any more/ I opened the medicine cabinet and took a pill bottle out. "Anti-depressants...that don't work!" I took three of them and popped them. Dry swallow. I climbed into the shower and gasped. 'Holy mother of God! That's so cold!' Involuntary my teeth started chattering. "I better hurry." I hurried myself. I washed my hair and turned the water off. I grabbed a towel. I walked out into the hallway and decided to turn the heat up.

LUCKILY the manager had no control on who got heat in the apartments. I turned it up to about 70 since it was almost the middle of winter. I looked out the window and watched it. The beautiful, gentle, white, fluffy, substance fall from the heavens to the Earths ground. A small smile grazed over my lips. I caressed the window with my finger tips and just watched. 'I wish I was as free as you.' I looked up to the heavens where the free white flakes appeared from. "If only..." I moved from the window and headed to my room. I changed into some of my old pajamas and climbed into my semi-comfy bed. Pulled my decent blanket and stared up at my whitish-yellowish ceiling. I kept thinking about how tomorrow might be better, but deep in my heart I knew better. I turned to my side only to be faced a picture. It was the one of me and my old team. Team seven. Small tears trickled down my cheeks. I remember how me and sasuke used to fight and how Kakashi-sensai would just roll his eyes.

Sakura always took Sasuke's side. I really never have liked Sakura, in fact I think she's the biggest bitch in the world. I only pretend to love her just so people would think I'm human. I was angry at all of them. Sasuke for using me and then leaving, Kakashi-sensai for leaving, Sakura for not believing in me and for treating me like a worthless doll. I was also mainly angry at...myself. For letting them do this to me. It's been 6 years since that day. I picked up the picture. Tears still coming from my eyes. I used all my strength and will to throw it against the wall. It hit with a loud shatter. I turned away from it and closed my eyes. The tears are making my eyes hurt. 'Fuck them!' I screamed into the pillow. When I started calming down I drifted off into a darkness that gave me some small amount of comfort. "Let the torture...Begin." I thought as I slipped away...

Well I hope you enjoyed! I wrote this for Wrath! I hope she enjoyed the labor I went through! Love ya wrath! I'm working on the rest. And for the rest of you I hope you liked! You can right a review if you want!