Hey guys, back again/. A very nice review asked for a Mark pov so I am here to oblige. Hope you like it Nette Moore! This is meant to follow the one shot. In an instant.
Title: Don't speak
Pairings: Mark/Callie /Sofia. Mentions of Arizona
Summary: Marks thoughts about the situation with Callie after his accident
Don't speak
It's not a cliché when they say in an instant everything can change when your life is on the line, that your life flashes before your eyes. All I remember is the headlights shining in my face when I turned my head to look out the passenger side window, the sound of horns blaring and then the impact. It was like inhaling seconds before you plunge into the ocean.
Four days later I awoke momentarily to see an angel with chocolate eyes staring back at me. I was so tired I thought I dreamed her voice telling me she loved me. I didn't wake up again for another three days they tell me.
When I came to my whole body hurt. Like the kind of hurt that makes every breath bring you to tears. During the whole time I was unconscious it felt like being lost in foggy dark haze. But my dark angel was there. I say dark angel because even though somewhere in my subconscious I knew it was Callie I couldn't let myself believe she actually cared to enough to be the one singing to me while I was unconscious. That she was the one whose voice was pulling me back from the light. Her scent that kept me grounded in this reality, her soft curves that I somehow felt through all that haze curled up against my broken body at night.
I don't say anything I don't speak, I keep my thoughts to myself.
It took a total of five weeks before Derek and the chief would let me go home with my mostly mended fractured sternum. My broken arm would be in a cast for another two weeks and the gash on my upper thigh was mostly healed from five weeks of treatments and great stitch work. Though I would need plastic surgery if I didn't want to keep the ugly scar for life. Derek and the Chief really wanted me to stay a few days more but I was finally cleared from the grade three concussion from the accident and Callie was hell bent on taking me home as she keeps calling it.
I keep wishing that I wasn't going home to empty fridge and cold bed. I live in house but it's not a home.
They argue some more and I see her speaking with her hands now which means she one step away from ranting away in Spanish. The eyebrow raises and the fight is over
Watching her argue with such passion against Derek and the chief over my release made me hope that passion may run a little deeper beyond just my well being. In those moments it was almost like she loved me. Almost.
It's been a whole week in my apartment with Callie and my daughter. She makes me breakfast. She leaves the baby with me instead of taking her to school some days, saying we need the daddy/daughter time but I can tell that its more.
I try. I'm not an idiot. I know something is wrong with her , something has gone wrong with her marriage. I feel guilty hoping this is the case. We sit at the table with Sofia between us in her high chair. She's smiling at our daughter and trying to coax her into tasting the butter squash baby mush crap. The kid's having none of it.
I take the spoon from her with a smirk and try my hand at it. This time I make a face and she smiles wide enough for me push the spoon in. She makes a weird face and then swallows. Looks like its not as crappy as she thoughts as she hums for more. Callie curses in Spanish. I laugh. Its moments like these where it feels like we're a family. Almost. The light bouncing off her ring reminds me why we are not. I sigh and try again.
"whatever happened between and Arizona"
"Im not ready to talk about it Mark"
Its curt and as harsh as the chair scraping over the floor. I reach out and grab her hand. "I won't interfere ok.." I say quickly. She stares into my eyes but she doesn't speak.
"Whatever's wrong I know its probably my fault Callie" I sigh defeated. "I haven't, I won't be like before Cal. The guy who broke up his bestfriend's marriage. I won't be that guy. Sofia deserves better." I hang my head staring at her hand in mines. "You deserve better" I whisper
She doesn't speak.
Her fingers lift my chin and I see tears in her big brown eyes. Be she won't speak. She won't say anything! She bends slowly and I feel her lips press against my lips very softly.
We kiss
But we don't talk about it. Of course we don't.
It's driving me crazy.
I haven't seen Arizona in 6 weeks since our last argument which I can't even recall since the accident. But I can tell it weighs on Callie, it's in her eyes. Something's changed. It feels different between us. I feel her watching me when she thinks I'm not noticing her. As if there was a time I would ever not notice her. But I don't say anything.
I can't take much more of this. The first night I was home I realized that my home seemed lived in. More of Sofia's things were in her room. The fridge was stacked with food, beer and infant formula. Callie's clothes were hanging up in my closet and the bed was rumpled and warm.
I feel almost back to myself again but she's not convinced. I still have a limp from the left over ache where the metal tore a 10 inch scar against my upper thigh. She barely lets me shower by myself for fear I may stumble in the shower. Yet she blushes when I ask her if she wants to join me. She almost never blushes at my inappropriate comments. At least she never used to, before the accident.
I don't ask about Arizona. We don't talk about Arizona. She come homes from work and we laugh and chat about what nonsense is going on at the hospital or what crazy weird case came in for that day. But we don't talk about why a married woman is living in my home when her wife is just across the hall.
I don't say anything when she curls up into my bed at night. She never touches me. She just lies as close as she can while she thinks I am sleeping. I always hear her when she comes in from the couch. Sometimes I feel her hand lightly press against my chest as if she is checking to see that I am still breathing. I think finally she'll say something, anything. We used to be able to say anything to each other. Now, not so much. She's always gone by the time I wake.
We don't speak about it.
I'm tired of talking but never saying anything.
I'm happy she's here but there's tension between us. I don't know what I've done but I can't go another day like this. The kiss didn't help matters either.
There's a knock at the door and I'm wondering why she's knocking when she has the key?
I limp over slowly and opened the door to see Arizona. She's fidgeting in one place and trying to avoid eye contact even as she speaks.
She's looking for Callie and thought she would be home by now. It's her night for Sofia. I nod my head and ask if her if she would like to come in and wait.
She looks at me almost hatefully. How did I manage to piss her off? I know Callie wouldn't have been dumb enough to tell her about the kiss we shared a few days ago. She won't even talk to me about the damn kiss! Arizona and I haven't spoken in almost two months and I can't even remember what we fought about when we did. How can she still be mad?
"You really don't know" She asked me half suspiciously and half amazed
"I've been a little banged up if you hadn't heard but then you didn't bother to visit me sooo" I trail off as I limp away from the door way leaving her there in the doorway.
"I did visit you Mark" she said quietly
"I don't remember"
"You don't remember telling my wife you loved her" Arizona said coldly
I was dumbstruck…"that didn't happen…I …a dream" I said more to myself than her.
She runs her hand through her hair angrily.."It happened! You happened! Why do you think she's here with you and not me! Her wife?"
My eyes were confused and I feel a headache of epic proportions coming on. It was real. I said the words and she said them back. And apparently since Arizona was here oozing raging indignation, Callie actually loved me. I didn't know what to say.
All this time she hadn't said a word.