I ran my fingers through my hair; a nervous habit that always leaves my loose waves in a tangled mess. A horrible wheezing noise rang in my ears, and I panicked, fearing that someone had followed me. When I quickly surveyed my surroundings, I concluded that I was alone. What was that noise then? Slowly, I realized it was my own ragged breath ripping out of my chest in shaky waves. I could hear it, and I could see it in the cloudy smoke that poured from my lips, but I didn't feel it. I was still numb, and it wasn't from the chilling cold. I forced the pain into the furthest corner of my heart, and instead focused on the canopy of dormant trees towering above me. As I stared, a lone, fiery red leaf floated down, barely skimming the bridge of my nose.
Gravity.
What an odd thing-a force that keeps everything grounded. But not our emotions. Why can our connections and feelings float above our heads, and shift with the slightest gust of wind? Eventually, they settle into our bodies, into our hearts, and for a moment, you're sure. You're positive that you're feeling what you're feeling. Now, I waited for this to happen for me; for the panic and pain to seep into my core and pool in my heart. It was a feeling I knew all too well. With my hands curled into tight balls, and my teeth bared, I allowed gravity to get the best of me.
I think I underestimated gravity.
Falling to the icy forest floor, I slowly curled my body against the throbbing ache in my heart. He's gone… he's gone. Sobs tore out of my chest, loud and quiet at the same time. I was vaguely aware that I was chanting his name. Gasping for air, I argued with myself to stay conscious. I had to endure this for him, I deserved it. But I began to lose a pointless battle, and the colors slowly drained away from the world. I could feel the comforting cold of the ice on my cheek, and the last thing I saw was that same fiery red leaf.