OK, this is just a little err... fluff? Just a one shot. I may actually write some more one shots on DA so let me know if any ideas spring to those beautiful minds of yours and I'll see what I can do for you. :D_
It was a purposeful action, it's just that sometimes the world I was born to drifted into my thoughts and I found myself lost in memories. Of old friends, of family members, of an old flame.
It wasn't often that I found myself singing a song that I'd thought I'd forgotten after listening to so many of the tunes lightly sung in the taverns of Thedas.
Apparently I'd started drifting into my thoughts one afternoon at Skyhold, hunched over the railing of one of my balconies.
The views really were amazing from Skyhold.
I hadn't realised I was doing it until I zoned back into where I was meant to be instead of where I used to be, startling myself out of my thoughts and looking around, my voice trailing off as I found him stood, leaning against a wooden frame of a doorway leading out onto the small balcony, a look of awe plastered across his face as he stared at me.
Neither one of us spoke for what felt like an eternity. Until I couldn't stand the silence and turned back to the view of the mountains that I would never become tired of witnessing.
"How long have you been standing there?" I heard the slightly shuffle of his armor as he pushed off the doorframe and moved out towards me.
"Long enough to know that that song means a lot to you. Of all the songs I've heard you break in to, this one is by far the saddest. I'm going to take a guess and say that you've had your heart broken enough to sing that with such passion?" He leaned next to me on the railing, resting on his elbows and staring out at the mountains as I turned to look at him.
"Heartbreak? No. I… That song, it's… When I first heard it, it became something of a lullaby. Helped me calm myself when I got to frustrated. And then I came here. Met new people. Wonderful people. Formed friendships, relationships that I could never find an equal for in my old world.." I turned part of my attention back to the snowy mountain tops and stone of the keep, the man at my side holding most of my attention without even realising it. "You may not have heard me sing it before now, but be assured, it is never far from my thoughts."
I could basically feel his gaze on me at the end of that sentence. I knew I was only partially talking about the song now, but he didn't need to know that. A smile broke out on my face and I turned to face him.
"Well I know you don't sing it as a lullaby now, otherwise we'd all know about it." So what made you sing it today?
He didn't want to push the issue.
"I don't know why that song came to mind today. I was thinking too deeply about... things."
"Inquisitor, may I ask you a question?"
"You just did." OK, I couldn't resist. The smile on his face was worth it. "Only if I can ask one in return. A trade of sorts?"
He shook his head and agreed. "Deal. Have you ever experienced the love you sing so strongly about?"
What a question.
Taking a deep breath, I answered.
"Yes. And it tears up my heart every day." I may have been mistaken but that look on his face… "Have you been in love?"
He didn't respond for a while, only stared out at the horizon, clearly thinking heavily about something. His answer was half obvious, before he even spoke. "Yes." He looked over at me, taking my hand in his and looking me in the eye. "And it kills me every time she leaves the keep."
At that, he turned to leave, only stopping when I spoke.
"She doesn't know."
His entire body stiffened, every muscle tensing as he turned to me, heartbreak clear in his eyes and I knew I was right.
"We can't be together. It wouldn't end very well." I watched as he linked his fingers together and twisted them in a way that showed how anxious he was. "Anyway." Instantly, the mood changed and he shook his head, as if to erase the thoughts from his mind before he looked at me in a way that just screamed intrigue. "What's going on with you and our all-powerful Commander?"
Huh? "Wha..? Cullen? And me? Nothing? Seriously, that was your question?" The man smirked at me. "What? Is that what the rumor mill is sprouting these days?"
"Oh trust me, that's one of the better rumors spreading around. Especially after that little tryst on the battlements. Yes, we all heard about that one…"
"Oh, fuck me. It was just a kiss. What? It was! Alright, you want to play it that way? What's the deal with you and our illustrious Ambassador, hm? I heard your little talk with Bull in Crestwood." I couldn't help but let out a sharp bark of laughter at the look on his face. He looked quite shocked that I had said such a thing. "No? No romantic words for me to relay to the lovely Montilyet?"
"My lady, there is nothing between myself and our Ambassador, I assure you of that."
"Oh so the woman you love so dearly isn't the one that looks at you as though the sun shines out of your arse? Aye, I pay attention." Actually no, that's a lie, I simply indulged in Leliana and Josephine's request of what I would call a 'girly evening' and heard a bunch of rumors about a number of people in our little keep. "Don't worry, you can tell me. I know there's a lot of rumors running about this place lately. That's simply another of yours, my dear."
He was getting noticeably amused and frustrated at what I had to say, but he didn't react in-kind. He simply shook his head slightly and laughed a little. "Alright. Can we both agree to drop the rumors of Cullen and Josephine in this conversation?"
Always trying to negotiate a truce.
I nodded in agreement and moved to walk past him into my room, walking to grab the bottle of wine on my desk that Dorian had gifted me a few hours earlier. He had said it was to calm my nerves since I was holding so much 'pent up frustration lately' and needed to loosen up. That comment was, of course followed by an offer of letting a certain Qunari know that 'the Inquisitor needed to vent some frustrations'.
Everyone in this blasted keep was hell bent on trying to make me blush. Entertaining when that wasn't the right way of going about it.
Anyway.
"Can I get you a drink, Blackwall? Or Thom…?" I never actually got around to asking which he preferred, so I asked. "Which one would you like me to call you?"
"How did you…?" The man looked ready to bolt.
"My world has more sources than this one. Your secret is safe with me. I promise." I held out my pinky finger, but he only looked at it like it was some foreign object. OK, nevermind. "How about I'll call you Blackwall when in the company of others, but Thom when we're alone? Does that work?"
He immediately responded with a 'yes' before looking at me, a smirk on that handsome face of his. "You expecting to call me Thom regularly, Inquisitor?" Damn him for picking that out.
I leaned towards him slightly, bending at the waist, smirking back at the man. "Are you saying you don't want to spend time with me, Thom?"
"I never said that, My Lady. It would be my honor to spend all the time in Thedas with you."
I smiled at that, and he smiled in return. "Charmer. Come on, we'll break open Dorian's wine and probably empty my own stores of alcohol and get drunk. Sound good?" His smile only got wider and I used the dagger that slid nicely into my boot to open the bottle and, grabbing two goblets from my bookcase, I poured us a drink, settling down into the newly dubbed 'Inquisitorial butt table'. (Named by Sera, not me).
Myself and Thom got through most of the bottle before I heard the light rapping that told me someone was at the door and I stood at banister at the top of the stairs and all but screamed a 'who is it' to them, hearing Cullen open the door slightly and shout a little 'it's me'.
I received a smirk from my drinking partner at the sound of the Commander's voice.
"You may come in, Commander, but I warn you, I have company." I just had to say it that way and make the man nervous as he only entered the room by a step, not even going near the steps as he spoke up to me.
"I won't keep you long then. I only wanted to inquire whether you'd seen Blackwall at all…" At the mention of his name-slash-alias, the man leaned over the railing and waved down at the Commander.
"Good evening, Commander Cullen." The tone of his voice was slightly clipped, for some reason, but I wasn't about to question him on it at the moment.
Smiling down at Cullen, I responded to his question. "Aye. It appears I have. Is he needed?" I noticed the tone of my own voice and yes, Thom I noticed that look you just gave me.
"No. Well… Master Dennet was looking for him is all."
Thom simply waved and walked back into the centre of the room, throwing a comment over his shoulder.
"He's probably only worried that I left one of my tools on the table again. The man worries too much." My divided attention saw Thom drop down on the sofa next to me, goblet in hand. I shrugged down to Cullen and the man nodded and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him, allowing me to turn back to the man that was now looking at me as though searching for something in my expression.
"What's wrong?"
A long moment passed without any noise from either of us as he stared me down. "Thom?"
He moved so quickly, I could barely register it in my mind, but before I knew it he had stood and was barely inches away from me. When did he get that fast?
His hand was lightly brushing against the side of my face and that look appeared on his face again. He looked so very sad. I knew if I said anything it would ruin the moment he wanted to hold on to, so I kept my mouth shut and watched his eyes.
After a moment, he dropped his hand and looked away. "So if not Cullen, who? It's clear that he has feelings for you. And he's the 'drop dead gorgeous blonde'." Drop d… Oh dear.
I couldn't let this sadness linger in the room so I reached out, lightly holding his chin and turning his face back to me. "Commander Cullen may be the man that every woman in this keep can say they want in their beds, but I'm not quite like those women, am I?" He shook his head slightly. "No, I'm not. And as pretty as he may be, he's not quite my type."
The man looked me in the eyes and his whole demeanour changed. Clearly my face showed what I wanted it to and, faster than I could think, his lips were pressed against mine, beard tickling my face, his hand at my lower back, the other at the back of my neck holding me in a way that pressed our bodies together.
Smiling into the kiss, I felt the words neither of us had spoken, the feelings held over long enough periods as to have contributed to mutual pent up frustrations never expressed, the passion and heat all poured into this one kiss that had been imagined so many times before, but never pursued.
Eventually, there came a point where oxygen was needed and we were forced to pull away, but the man leaned his forehead against my own and breathed deep and slow.
"I'm learning quite a bit about you this evening, my lady. You have a type. You think Commander Cullen is 'pretty'. You sing songs about me…"
"Oh, shut up. Listen to me, I know you think that this couldn't work, but you're wrong. I don't care what the others think. I don't care whether you want to be Warden Blackwall or Thom Rainier out there. To me, you are just you and I love that man, that beautiful mix of honor and light-hearted jokes. You may not think yourself as a good person, but you should. Everyone here does. From everything I know about you, I can honestly say you are one of the best men I know and yes, that includes everything you did before you came to the Inquisition." He let me speak, his eyes shut tight as he held back every emotion that was bound to cross his face. "In any case, you think you're learning about me? What about finding out that the one person you loved actually loved you back? Oh wait.. Never mind. HEY!" He was laughing at me as I said that, the cheeky…
Oh shit. I totally forgot.
"OK, there's an execution you want to attend soon, am I correct?" Evidently I was and he didn't know that I knew about it. "Don't worry, I'll pull in a couple of favors with Cullen and Val Royeaux and see what we can do about getting him acquitted of the charges, or released into our custody. Our beloved Empress owes me a couple of things. I believe I may be able to help."
His eyes shone bright as he grabbed my face and pulled me in to another kiss, bruising and deep and passionate. One that didn't last half as long as the last one but still left me in a similar state, breathing hard, smiling easily at the man that had unknowingly taken a piece of my heart for his own.
Okii dokii, there you go. :D