I lay in my bed, painfully aware of the sounds around me-- the other boys' peaceful breathing, the occasional creaking of the castle. My own heart beating so quickly that I
begin to wonder why it does not wake the others up. But I alone know who is coming. When
the door opens softly, I know exactly who she is, know why she has come. I know I cannot
say no.
"Ron?" she whispers, gently opening the curtain to my bed, "Are you awake?"
"You and Harry had another fight," says I, a fact, not a question. She only comes to
me when they have.
She nods and crawls in beside me. I let her hold onto me, torn by being disgusted by
my weakness and enthralled by her very touch.
"I'm so upset," she whispers, "Can I tell you about it?"
Gently I stroke her head and nod. I always nod. A shake of the head would break what
is left of my heart.
"He only called me names tonight. But then he took the cloak and left somewhere- I'm terrified that he'll get caught this time," she whispers, breath warm against my skin. I shudder involuntarily, at both the closeness of her and the suppressed rage. Look at who
he has. A million men would kill to be in his place-
"He shouldn't talk to you that way," I say.
She sighs, holding back tears; "It's just stress- after Sirius' death-"
"It's no excuse."
She smiles as if she knows something I do not, letting her lips run gently across my
own, "I know. You know. Harry… Save me, Ron?"
Her lips cover mine fully and passionately before I am given a chance to answer. For
a moment I am aware of nothing but her and me, her body pressed against my own, her hair
loose on her shoulder.
"It's up to you to save yourself," I whisper finally and breathlessly, as she allows
me to start to unbutton her nightgown. I know she will not listen. She never does.
"I know," she says, running slender fingers through my hair and she kisses me again,
"I know."
I allow her to bring me deeper into her embrace, permitting myself, for the night at
least, to pretend that she is truly mine. That the women I love with all of my heart and
soul is not using me the way I know she is.
I know she is.
And, heaven help me, she always will.