disclaimer: i own nothing but some DVDs and some pajamas.
a/n: just a quick piece set in season 3. please let me know what you think.
She spent her life in darkness, wandering the streets alone making sure the town was safe for everyone else. Not her, never her. She remembers the day it all changed; the day she went from being a shadow walking through life doing what pleased her friends and family to the woman she is today. She remembers the exact moment she saw Angel for what he really was. It all started with Spike. It was always Spike. He was blunt, brutally honest and he alone knew her in and out.
He was in town, she had no idea why and when she'd asked he'd shrugged and told her he was itching for a good fight and Dru was being a pain. They were excuses but they fought and thrived on the thrill of being themselves. When they fought they didn't have to be anything, anyone in particular, they were free to be Buffy and Spike.
Spike and Buffy.
He said the words and she thought about them, mulled them over for days, scoffing at the stupidity of them. Then there was a big bad, Faith was acting up and a long night of research in the library. Giles made a comment about her patrolling because it was her duty. She asked for a night off but Angel told her she was being selfish and she had to think of the people she would be allowing to die.
She snapped.
The next time Spike hit town he was blind drunk and looking for a quick-fix love spell. She beat him up, sobered him and shagged him senseless.
He stuck around.
She remembers the words.
'You're the slayer; you'll be dead in no time. Do whatever the bloody hell you want. Live a little.'
She didn't care what it said about her that she chose to live by screwing the dead.