A Repository of Self Inserts

by Undying Soul98

Or: evidence that I totally haven't been sitting on my ass during all those long periods of time where I fail to update. A collection of SI stories I wish I had time to write, things I might someday still come to write, and those ideas I just want to get down onto paper.

1. A Crown Of Binary Code

AN- welp, look at the time. *Checks calendar*. Has it been like seven months since last time I updated anything? Golly gosh, have I been unproductive!

… or have I?

Not gonna answer that one. Because yes, I could have done more. That's not to say I've done nothing- just that I've lost interest in my present works. So I've been working on other stuff on and off for the last year. And I figured "Why not post a few snapshots of potential story ideas I might someday use and/or replace my present non-existent update schedule with?". Thus, this is that. A fanfiction where I can dump everything I do in my off time. If things here get good reception, I might attempt to continue them (As I have far too many ideas). Meanwhile, you will also get sneak peaks at the actual things that will get uploaded.

Oh yeah, for the record, if the title doesn't imply it, this will primarily showcase SELF INSERT STORIES. As that is the style of fanfiction I seem to be writing the most at this moment! Let this be the official warning- 'here be SI's!'.

And now I'm gonna stop talking. Enjoy.

Digimon: A Crown Of Binary Code

Now that all the chaos has settled down in the Digital World, and that I seem to have more time on my hands than not on my plate (Apparently being a dictator requires less time than you expect it to once you begin delegating and people have figured out the futility in rebellion), I think that its about time for me to write down my 'adventure', the journey that led to me arriving here. An unexpected, dangerous chain of events that led to two things: incredible war and a crown upon my head.

I probably won't ever properly publish this, considering that it will highlight everything that led to this point so naturally includes all my flaws and mistakes which could be taken advantage off. Never the less, here is my Digimon Adventure.

It began with confusion and intrigue. I took small steps- in wonder and in fear- these steps grew larger, then I walked. The walk became a run- I sprinted into this new world in terror, chased by all sorts of things that wanted to eat me.

Yeah, those early days of my 'adventure' were terrifying.

I awoke to hear running water. Grudgingly, I opened one eye in annoyance, wondering which member of my family was the one wasting water like it was going out of business. Upon seeing the daylight streaming into my face I wondered if I had overslept again and my mum was punishing me by leaving my blinds open to disturb my sleep.

Instead, the light only caused my head to pound. The headache was deliberating and painful, making me unable to think straight. It certainly made me wonder what I had done to put me into a state like this. My head hurt, my throat was dry and it felt like I had slept funnily and rolled off my single bed- since my back felt like I had been left uncomfortably on the floor all night.

"What the hell happened?" I asked out loud, but received no answer. I listened harder, and could hear was sounded suspiciously like chirping, or that sound that bugs make when in large numbers.

Bugs? I live in the middle of the city- the most we get are flies. Very suspicious.

Finally my head stopped banging. And I could see again. And I said the only thing I could at the time.

"What the literal HELL!?" I shouted. Because this wasn't my room. Obviously. Nor was it my house, or anywhere that could be possibly near it.

No. Everywhere around me stood exotic trees, wreathed in vines and bright colours, while flowers and wild bushes grew without human intervention. The canopy stretched over large expanses of the sky, the tips of many of the larger trees far higher than anything would normally grow in England. I was lying on my back in the middle of a BLOODY jungle. Because it was far too warm and humid, had bugs buzzing in the background, contained lots of horrible green things which would no doubt set my hayfever off any minute now, and was just typically somewhere that you DO NOT FIND ANYWHERE IN BRITAIN! Full stop.

I scrambled to my feet, no longer content to be lying around in an unfamiliar area. As I spun on my feet, just taking in the sheer size and untamed nature of my surroundings, I realised that I was dressed in the clothes I was certain I had been wearing the previous day- simple jeans, a t-shirt with an amusing Abridged Series reference on it ("Screw the rules! I have money!") and some slippers.

I would have laughed if it wasn't completely not funny. I was wearing slippers... in a jungle.

Okay David- think. Just why are we in a jungle. It isn't exactly the sort of thing that occurs after a drunk night out, especially since me and all my friends are 17 so are unable to go out and get hammered anyway.

Last thing I can remember is it being an average Saturday night, with me on my laptop surfing through random stuff on the internet and too lazy to get changed. I think I... was electrocuted?

Yup- I can definitely remember a bright light, and a shocking sensation before my mind just goes "Nu uh- blackout". So probably electrocution.

Next question: what stupid chain of events link 'shocking experience' to 'abandoned in a jungle without adequate footware'?

"You know what, screw it." I finally decided out loud, liking to hear a friendly voice even if it was only my own. "Standing around and thinking isn't going to help me." Snort. Thinking. "However strange or unsuccessful a kidnapping, or however messed up a prank, or however boring a hallucination- fact remains, I am in a jungle."

I wish that I had watched Bear Gryll's or something, because I really have no clue how to survive in the wild. Except to drink my own urine, but that really wasn't relevant in this case.

Oh look! Running water!

Lucky me, that sound I had heard earlier was a small stream. And I was still thirsty, so at least the thirst problem can be immediately tackled.

Greedily, I gulped down the cool water in shaky handfuls, grateful for it in this hot weather that was already making me sweat. It was probably contaminated and just teeming with Ebola or something (With my luck anyway), but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Now with thirst gone, I needed to decide what to do now.

"Well... I could stand around and hope someone comes." I suggested to myself. "Humans can live without food for like a week or something, and with a water supply I could probably wait it out until help came."

"Nope." I responded sternly. "No guarantee for assistance, who knows that I'm here anyway? It would be boring as hell sitting out here with nothing to do, and ultimately its a jungle- I refuse to stay here for any more than I have to." Primarily, because I am a nocturnal indoors creature, happiest late at night browsing fanfictions. Secondarily, because spiders terrify me and there are ALWAYS tarantula's within jungles.

"So what then?"

"We walk, I guess." I put forwards the idea to the committee of me, myself and I. "Follow the running water, since civilisation always gather around water, and hope that I have not somehow been brought to a cannibal infested jungle in Africa."

"I'm pretty sure than those sorts of jungles are in South America. Like, does Africa have rain forests?"

I snorted. "Who cares? Either way, I'm getting the hell out of dodge."

Debating a moment more, I finally decided that despite my hatred for walking, that following the stream was probably a good idea. With three rounds of 'aye', I noted the direction of flow and began to walk.

XXXXXXXXXX

After a good hour of walking (Based on the watch I always wore on my left wrist), something broke the monotony of my walk. It involved Godzilla's younger cousins.

"RARRGGGGGHHH!" One moment all was quietish and peaceful, the next two giant figures crashed through the nearby treeline, smacking aside the thick trunks like they were twigs as one form was smashed through them. The aggressor followed behind, battering aside what remained with its huge form as it descended on the first.

I blinked in surprise. The figure that had been thrown greatly resembled a giant blue beetle. One several times taller than I was, with four long, thick claw tipped hands, giant teeth and a bigass V shaped horn on its head, but generally a beetle. The attacker was completely different, being what looked like a grey t-rex with black and red dash like marking covering its body, arms and face.

One part of me noted that the t-rex was winning at the moment. The other part of me realised that I had just seen a GIANT BEETLE being punched through a row of trees ahead of me and a GIANT T-REX following it! Like, what was I doing standing here and gawking? ITS A DINOSAUR! WHY OH WHY IS THERE A DINOSAUR?

"YAAARRGGGH!" The dino barrelled into the downed figure smacking into its outer carapace using its large spiked claws, using its sheer brute force to carve chunks into the other.

I screamed in shock and awe and fear (Because quite frankly they were both tall enough and strong enough to squish me like I was made of ice cream), and ran away from the conflict.

"ENOUGH!" Screamed a voice. I hoped that it was a voice of common sense here to inform me of why the universe wasn't making sense, but as I turned my head back I saw that the voice had instead come from the beetle as it forced itself to its feet, thrusting at the beast with its horn.

So now its a giant TALKING beetle. Lovely.

I kept running, fear pushing me onwards as I fled from the two titans now brawling it out by the river.

"MasterTyrannomon!" Bellowed the insect. "Today I finally kill you! I'll finally end this!"

"Like hell! I'll devour you myself, MegaKabuterimon!" The grey monster responded in a gravelly growl.

So they both talked, which didn't really help my situation at all.

"Master Fire!" The aggressive beast commanded, releasing a red aura as fire built up in its throat before the flames roared towards the insect. I rubbed my eyes. Nope- definitely fire.

Now, I wanted nothing more than to keep dashing away, but curiosity forced my feet to stop. I turned around completely, now a safe distance away, as it was now revealed that 'MasterTyrannomon' could breathe fire.

"Not so fast! Electro Shocker!" The insect gathered a ball of electricity in its hands, which he proceeded to throw at the flames, causing a massive explosion to erupt between them.

I could feel the force of the blast from where I stood, and could only gaze at the sheer destructive power before me. My mind was blank, my eyes wide in alarm and my heart beating like a drum.

"My god." I whispered. "If I hadn't run, I might have been caught in it." I left it unsaid. I could have died.

Suddenly, curiosity didn't seem good enough anymore. I turned my back to the battle which was now starting up once more, ready to cause even more damage to the surroundings, and fled away from the river and into the foreboding forest. I didn't want to die, so I had too run. I could contemplate the mysteries of thunder bugs and fire dinosaurs later.

XXXXXXXXXX

I sprinted through the foliage and ensnaring vines, tripping several times due to unseen hazards, but I ignored my scratches and carried on. I think I lost one of my slippers too, but that fact seemed unimportant. After wheezing to a stop due to my level of fitness (Otherwise lack if it), I pushed through it, running again as soon as I was able.

After doing this another two times, I collapsed to my knees in tiredness. I was certain I was safe now, but I was sure as hell regretting the sprint now. I literally felt like I was going to die.

"I'm alive." I stated. "I'm alive." I repeated. Suddenly I burst into laughter in sheer relief. Admittedly they weren't targeting me but each other, treating me as nothing more important than a leaf in a forest- part of the background- but merely by being there I could have been killed as collateral.

"A fire breathing, oversized lizard and a blue beetle whose class is an Electromancer. What bit of that makes sense!?"

In the real world, there aren't any dinosaurs alive any more, nor are there bugs which grow that big. In the real world, creatures can't control fire or manipulate electricity at such a fundamental level. In the real world, even if such things existed, they can't talk.

Yet here they do.

Perhaps before I could believe I had just been transported to South America or something as equally unlikely, but now there was no denying it. This wasn't a normal situation. There is no way things like that can exist in my limited view of the world.

"First things first, they exist. You aren't mad. Stop disbelieving them, because they could have eaten you whole. Until further notice, nothing is impossible." Yes. Wherever I was, I think that this was a rule I should at least temporarily follow.

"Second- they had intelligence. I can ignore this fact for now, along with the moral implications."

Really, in kill or be killed whether the thing trying to eat you can talk or not is irreverent.

"Three, there are probably other things out there." If fire lizards exist, then so do ice birds and elves, and others were in this jungle.

"Four, their names." They were really stupid, but I distinctly remember them calling each other 'MegaKabuterimon' and 'MasterTyrannomon'. Now, these names are familiar, or at least the style is.

The mon at the end brings back memories of my childhood, and reminds me of stuff like Pokemon and-

A though popped into my head.

"Nope. Not even going there." because that way lies madness.

"Its impossible!" like electric bugs.

"No! Its stupider than that!" but those names are still familiar, and the concept seems familiar.

"Seriously, this is a bad fanfiction now!" for something like the idea I was thinking could only happen in one of them.

"There is no way in hell that they were actual DIGIMON!"

Yes. That kids show I liked as a child. The one I always sat down to watch, and used to know like the back of my hand. The one including seven kids being thrown into another world called the Digital World, where very little makes sense and monsters walk the land. The one where the children go on to partner with several local creatures called Digimon to save the world.

I laughed again. "Okay, so there are... similarities."

How else did I wake up in a JUNGLE after being electrocuted for no good reason? If I had been kidnapped, surely I would have needed to be awoken sometime between the shock and waking up in a South American jungle. If I had somehow been pulled into another world, albeit fictional, through weird Digital Means due to Digital Beings, then this would explain things.

And it would tell me why I saw a giant dinosaur and bug fight it out- because in Digimon, this shit happens all the time.

Thinking back, details of that series were beginning to stir. My mind flickered through all the characters I had loudly supported in front of the TV as they kicked the ass of the Monster of the Week and who's names I once knew off by heart. I was almost sure that I had seen a red version of that giant bug in the series somewhere.

I stared up at the sky and shouted indignantly. "REALLY WORLD? AM I REALLY A SELF INSERT OF ALL THINGS!? WELL FUCK YOU TOO! IN DIGIMON AS WELL!? AT LEAST HAVE BETTER TASTES, YOU ASSHOLE!"

… Wow... that felt really good. Liberating. Getting it off my chest, it felt wonderful. Reality was stupid, since Self Inserts can't really happen. Yet, I was here anyway, and I couldn't really deny that being in the Digimonverse was impossible since I just saw two brawling with each other. So just getting to shout out my frustrations was brilliant.

Only, now every bloody critter here had probably heard my stupid declaration and was probably on its way here to chow down on me.

"You're an idiot, David." I told myself, rapping myself on the head with my knuckle. "You are so going to die." Except that I refused to. "And you should probably begin running."

So I did. Wearing only one slipper, in hostile fictional territory, I ran.

It was terrifying seeing those Digimon before, but as I carried on my random path (Due to having no landmarks anymore like the river), I consoled myself with the fact that I had probably been brought here for a Reason. No doubt that if this was a Self Insert style situation, I would had been called in as reinforcements by those four Digimon gods, and would be needed to help Tai and the gang save the world, and would undoubtedly receive a Digivice and Digimon. I hadn't gotten one yet, and if I was going to have one it would have probably been waiting for me when I woke up, but the thought cheered me up.

Perhaps once the terror had worn off, this might actually turn out to be an adventure.

XXXXXXXXXX

I was wrong. Utterly wrong. This wasn't a chance for wish fulfilment, but instead a nightmare. I was lucky before to have not bumped into any Digimon. The RNG was favourable as I walked along the river, but now lost in the middle of nowhere I had my next encounter literally a few minutes after.

"Ruuunnnn!" Came a cry of fear. "Run for your lives, guys! Dokugumon is coming!" Upon hearing the high pitched voice, I expected to see another giant dinosaur, so I was relived to instead see a small figure run out in front of me.

It was small, yellow and worm-like, while being minuscule enough that I could pick up and hold it if I really wanted to. If this WAS a Digimon, it would be a Rookie- the average power level.

"Run away!" It repeated, squirming off into the distance in a shocking burst of speed.

"Oh. That wasn't so bad." I commented.

Seconds later, several more creatures burst onto the scene. One was a green version of the worm from before, another was some sort of mushroom creature with little gloved fists and purple boots, and the last was one I recognised.

Yes. This had to be the Digital World, because that was most definitely a Palmon running past- the plant partner of that whiny girl Mimi stood out in my mind as a kid because it evolves- correction, digivolves- into an animate cactus with BOXING GLOVES. And one had just run past squealing about how she didn't 'want to be eaten alive yet!'.

Then almost as fast as they appeared, they followed the first worm and buggered off.

"Hang on." I said. "Didn't the first one say a Dokudokumon was coming, or something?"

I shrugged. Couldn't be worse than one of those titans from before. Even so, I'd better run after them.

Too late. The Digimon they had been running from had already appeared from amongst the trees. And it looked hungry.

Of all the things I had to meet face to face, why THIS? It had to be a giant FUCKING SPIDER! Truly, the embodiment of the Digital World has a will... and it hates my guts.

It stopped its pursuit of the four Digimon from before for a moment to regard me with its nine, beady emerald eyes. Acid drool dripped from its maw as it noticed that some prey had appeared and not run away in time.

I let loose a manly declaration that could be interpreted as a high pitched squeal.

In my defence, seeing a spider the width of my little finger in the bathtub was enough to get me to run away quickly, and just thinking of hand sized tarantula's gave me goosebumbs.

I'd say this monstrosity was just a BIT bigger than hand sized. A LOT bigger.

"What's this?" It asked, long tongue rolling as it studied me slowly backing away with terror in my eyes. "A human? I've never seen one before. Can you chew it? Can you bite it? Can you find them? Not around here anyway, or ever, for that matter. Interesting... interesting... a human..."

"Ummm... so since I'm so interesting, you'll let me go?" I asked hopefully/desperately.

Its large manacles clicked loudly. "Well, lets just say that I've always wondered what a human would taste like..."

Just my luck. I was going to die by being digested by a fictional spider larger than Gilgamesh King of Hero's ego.

I really wanted to cry right now, to curl up into a ball and sob at the hopelessness of it all, but I couldn't. No. I needed to live. But how? How can I get away from this thing? If I'd run at first maybe I would have gotten away when it had all the others to concentrate on too, but now it knew I was here and the thing was large enough to be Champion at least, so it could definitely outspeed me despite its large, bulky frame, and could outpower me too.

Think brain! THINK! Humans are weak and puny, but isn't it our brains that let us become a dominant force in the world? Wasn't it mind over matter that made mankind the top of the food chain? If I could never outpower it and could never turn to run away quicker than it could pounce at me, then maybe I could trick it?

Its a giant bug! Surely I'm smarter... right?

"Look! What's that behind you!" I shouted in alarm, pointing behind it. "MegaKabuterimon!"

"Where!?" The arachnid practically jumped on its long feet in fear upon hearing the name of the Ultimate level Digimon. Its eyes swung round wildly as it looked behind itself just to make sure that the titan in question wasn't actually sneaking up on it to eat its data. "Where?"

I never bothered to answer. Almost as soon as I spoke and it swivelled around, I capitalised on its distraction and sprinted.

Accelerating as fast as I could, I ignored the sound of the bug hissing upon realising it had been tricked. I completely blotted out the sound of "Poison Thread!" as a thick strand of web was launched towards me to ensnare and trap me like the fly in the parlour.

However, I had guessed that this would happen. In the few seconds I took to think of some stupid, potential way to escape, I assumed that this spider would obey stereotypes. I had chosen to dash not directly away but instead to the nearest tree. Quickly slipping behind its wide form just as the attack name was sounded, the web impacted the tree and not myself.

The first attack had failed and I was already running again, weaving in and out of the plants while trying not to be tangled. Maybe I stood a chance.

It was laughable just how delusional I was. I was a puny nerd stuck in a situation I couldn't possibly have prepared for, running from a faster, stronger creature that knew the area better than I did. Of course all the cards were stacked against me.

"Poison Thread!" The spider cried again. This time the shot didn't come from behind but from above. As I had been running, it had taken to the trees and was already spraying webs everywhere below it to try and tangle me.

"FUCK!" I cursed as the clearest path the freedom was blocked by webbing stuck between two trees. I turned suddenly, loosing all my gathered momentum as the hungry Champion scuttled towards me. "Damn this, damn it all!"

Another path, another block. And another. And again, and again. I was practically surrounded, with one path left to dash down. A few metres from the sole path leading to the freedom beyond this entangling maze of web, I looked down, only to see the low strand by my feet as one foot threw itself straight before its path. I tripped hard, grazing my knee and spilling blood through my jeans as I hit the ground.

I wanted to cry. I was dead now. DEAD. What could I do? How could I run? It was going to eat me, slowly and painfully. Its teeth were going to chomp through my body, and I was going to be digested slowly but surely. I could almost feel it chewing on me like a Greymon with a bone...

Hang on. I can't die yet. I don't want to! I can't! I have too much to do and-

No, monologue LATER! Up! UP NOW!

I pulled myself to my feet, my second slipper lost to the sticky web, and I kept running, with much less distance between myself and the predator.

I needed help. I needed something to change- some other factor or Digimon to interrupt. Damn it all, I needed a distraction, or help, or something! Where's a Dues Ex Machina when you need it?

"HELP!" I shouted out, desperately pinning all my hopes on something- anything really- being friendly. "HELP ME, PLEASE!"

"No one will hear your pleas." Rasped the swift spider. "In Stack Jungle the weak die and the powerful feed."

"Shut up!" I told it defiantly, putting my hands to my mouth to call again. "HELP!"

"Quiet..." It whispered, approaching me with urgency. "Just give up, lie down and let yourself be devoured. You won't feel a thing due to my neurotoxin, and I'll make your death quick..."

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

"Be silent!" It finally lost its temper. "Quiet before one of the bigger predators arrive! I refuse to share this meal!"

You know that image you always see in comics? The one where you see the main character suddenly get an idea, signified by a glowing light-bulb and a 'Ding!' of realisation? Well I just had a lightbulb moment.

"HELP ME!" I shouted even louder. "IT LOOKS LIKE I AM SEVERELY WEAK AND INJURED! JUST RIPE FOR THE PICKING! WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY DO TO DEFEND MYSELF AND MY DATA?"

The Champion suddenly looked worried- I grinned. I was right, it told me to be quiet because this is a jungle, I saw two Ultimate's duking it out earlier, so of course there is always something higher in the food chain. To a fire breathing t-rex, this terrifying spider is just as much prey as I am.

"No! Do you want us both to be attacked?" It hissed, fury rolling off it.

"Yes." I told it with a straight face that only just hid how terrified I was of the hairy black thing with a skull and crossbone on its back. "Here's my ultimatum: either skip a meal for a change or I keep screaming until we both get served up extra rare."

"I'll eat you alive!" Screeched the Digimon.

"Like you didn't intend to do so already." I told it sarcastically. "Go."

"You insolent little-"

"NO! I AM UTTERLY UNARMED AND EASY PICKINGS FOR ANYTHING BIG, HUNGRY AND DANGEROUS! WOE IS ME!"

The spiders eyes flashed dangerously. "Poison cobweb!" Instead of webbing, the bug fired a blast of pure poison at me. I had head stories of those kids in science classes who get splashed by acid as really sick pranks and just how they turned out, and I had no intention to join them. I threw myself to the side, in the process falling onto one of the webs fired off earlier.

Shit. Now the panic was in my eyes. My gambit had failed, since it wasn't reasonable enough to take the deal. And now I was stuck to this web in front of a pissed off spider. Doomed!

"OH NO!" I yelled quickly, once more, in a final desperate plea. "I AM TOO JUICY TO MOVE, AND WHAT IF SOMEONE GETS ME BEFORE ANYONE ELSE CAN EAT ME?"

"Cease this racket!" DokuDoki-somethingmon demanded. "Poison-"

"Leaf Cyclone." The declaration was confident, and with good reason. A literal cyclone of leaves swept through the jungle, cutting through everything in its path. Normally leaves are weak and frail, but these looked sharper and larger than a Pokemon's Razor Lead attack. All the trees in the attack's path were carved apart wherever the miniature blades passed... along with every web that was in its path.

"Petaldramon!" Hissed the Champion in fear.

I looked down, and almost fist bumped the air in happiness. None of the leaves had managed to strike me (The trees saving me from any hits) while the strand I had been stuck to had been severed at either end. I still had a bunch of web stuck to my chest, but I was free to move- which was glorious. I immediately began to crawl away, trying to remain out of sight.

"My prey!" Insisted Dokunonomon (God I keep getting its name wrong, I wish I remembered what it had been called by that worm).

"And now its mine." As the trees fell down due to the strain put on them, a beastial creature stomped forwards. Four legged with characteristics of leaves, coloured green with a wooden head surrounded by red leaves- like some sort of flower. Roots grew from its back like spikes and from its behind like a tail. "I am an Ultimate- Petaldramon- and in Stack Jungle the weak always die."

"Mine!" Dokidokumon repeated. As he did so, I continued to try and move away. Once the Champion inevitably fell to the stronger creature, I wouldn't have long left.

"No. Mine." The roots on its back suddenly became flexible, shooting forwards towards the bug like spears of death.

"Poison Cobweb!" The acid was as useful as could be expected- doing jack all. The champion was given no other chance to retaliate as two roots pierced through the eight legged creatures torso. In a shower of polygons and particles, the spider disappeared, reduced to data. Then the Ultimate stepped forwards and opened its maw- drawing the data into it, devouring the Digimon entirely.

If I had any doubts about being in the Digimon universe somewhere, they were gone now.

And now it was dead, I had no more time. Subtlety was out the window.

I sprinted.

Five steps later, a vine erupted from the ground and wrapped around my feet. One step more, then the vine pulled me off my feet and dragged me up into the air, holding me upside down by my foot.

And so ended my only chance to escape. "Shit." I said, again, once more cursing at the situation. I was no better off now- all the Godzilla Threshold does is force you to deal with a freakin' 164 foot tall lizard rather than the other monster you had unleashed it upon to murder.

Petaldramon stomped forwards lazily, stopping just in front of my hanging form.

Tears came to my eyes, and started to drip up my face as I waited for my death. This sucked! I was just a student, I knew nothing about anything of notice, and I hadn't even lived a quarter of my life yet! I didn't want to die, and now after only two hours in the Digital World I was going to be eaten.

Being a Self Insert isn't nearly as good as the Mary Sues make it out to be.

"Go on- finish it." I told Petaldramon, shutting my eyes and waiting. At least this Digimon would probably knock me out first (Hopefully), and I could barely deal with being eaten by a plant beast (Because it was better than being eaten by a spider).

"Very well." The Ultimate conceded.

Suddenly, the vine released me. With an "Oooff!" I fell to the floor in an unsightly pile.

To my utter surprise Petaldramon began to walk away, not giving me a second glance.

"Huuuhhh?" I said out loud in amazement. "I'm not dead? I'm not dead? I'm not dead? I'm not dead!"

But why? It should have eaten me. It damn well said I was its prey.

Despite myself and all common sense (I must have hit my head on the fall down), I called out. "Why didn't you eat me?"

The Ultimate turned back to me and snorted in amusement. "In Stack Jungle, the weak always die. You are human, an oddity in the Digital World in of itself. You are weak, squishy and puny. A Rookie could overpower you easily... yet you are not weak."

Isn't that a joke. I'm a teenage anime nerd stuck in a world of overpowered computer programs- strong is the last description of me.

"You should have been eaten by Dokugumon, a species physically better in every way. But you were stronger in the mind. I was here from the start, ready to devour the spider as soon as it stopped playing with its food. Instead of your screams, I heard your shouts. I heard you trick it. I heard your attempts to draw another predator near to try and escape with your life. And I saw you."

It stared at me with its piercing yellow eyes. "I saw you use me as a distraction to buy time to escape. You USED me, an Ultimate!" Its carved facial features shifted to what might have been a leer. "That takes guts, trying to reduce me to a puppet. Since you are strong in mind, and I am in a good mood after that nice meal, you can go."

I clambered back to my feet, and scratched the back of my head, unsure what to say. "Thank you."

It scoffed. "Don't give me your thanks. The strong don't give thanks; they take. I let you go not out of concern but out of curiosity. So I'll leave you with this warning, little human. Stack Jungle is filled to the brim with tough Digimon. This ecosystem embodies the state of this world- a 'Digimon eat Digimon' habitat. I am far from the only Ultimate that hunts here, and there are many more hungry Champions waiting for a bite, and who will be less generous than me."

"I'll remember that." I told it.

"See that you do. I would hate to have let a weak person go. If I see you again, I'll eat you." It finished finally, then slipped back into greenery, travelling quickly away.

I watched it go and worried. I was lucky that my ploy had worked. Any other Digimon could have come and snapped me up after killing Dokugumon, and might have been less merciful. I came so close to death it was unreal. But I had gotten through somehow, and had got some useful lessons.

I was definitely in Digimon- all those creatures had 'mon' in their names and behaved similar to those in the TV series.

I was in a place called Stack Jungle- a place that was probably far too harsh to ever be a starting place for a lowly human like me. I could have survived a place like File Island where Champions were rare and Rookies and In Training Digimon were more common and friendly, but here in this Jungle everything was hostile and the foes far stronger than anything Tai and the others ever had to deal with until at least having a few Champion Digimon to back them up.

However, I wasn't Tai. I had no Digivice. I was given no Digiegg. I had no allies or friends to share the burden with. I had no Bullshit Deus Ex Machina to save my life.

But even so, this experience so close to death had taught me something. Petaldramon was correct- in here at least, strength was everything. I had always been smart for my age, being the sort of person to be in the top set for all my subjects and get B's or A's in everything, so my brain would need to be my weapon.

If I wanted to get out of this Jungle alive I'd need to sharpen my weapon to an edge, because if I made a single mistake I was deadmeat.

AN- and there we go, what would be the first chapter of a Digimon Self Insert. I've always liked Digimon as it was one of my first anime (With Tamers having a special place in my heart), and I've always wanted to tackle it, especially after reading Gardens of Babylon. Which will unfortunately never update again. So, just what sort of shit do I have in store for this fic?

Well, person-that-didn't-ask, I'm glad that you asked! This is Digimon Adventures with all the childish elements removed, the tone of Tamers, and featuring the absence of most cliché SI tropes. Basically, I would want to cover what it would legitimately mean for a dude to be dropped into a world where everything can and will want to eat him, and where he will forever sit at the bottom of the food chain. More than that, how could someone possibly survive in the Digital World if they weren't a Special Snowflake chosen by the Powers Thay Be?

That would be 'Part One' of three, with a regular human dumped in late-game territory, but who was unfortunate enough to have neither Digimon partner or Digivice. This part would be focussed on survival, with David learning to run away, fight back and figure out the tricks of the trade, eventually culminating in him forming a partnership with a Digimon not based on Destiny but mutual agreement and shared experiences, and one that will never benefit from a Deus Ex Machina via Digivice. My plans was to use BlackPawnChessman as I've always liked them, and have David serve as the tactician in the partnership. I'd also incorporate Digimon being able to consume each other like in Tamers to justify them being able to grow stronger and eventually evolve.

Part Two would be the Dark Masters arc in canon taken up to eleven. At this point David would have found his feet, and found a reason to fight- namely to try and make the Digital World slightly less of a shit place after a meeting with Gennai went wrong and led to his belief that he'd done nothing to fix things. Enter the Dark Masters. In canon, the Digidestined spent the equivalent of years in the human world fighting Mytotsimon, and in this timeslot the Dark Masters took over the Digital World. Except that David is stuck in the Digital World when this happens, decided "Screw this" and teams up with Gennai to turn the Digital Resistance into an actual threat.

Part Three would be an immensely AU version of season 2 featuring the Seven Demon Lords, kicked off by MetalSeaDramon being the last Dark Master to fall in this timeline, and having a chance to revive Leviamon, which leads to the revival of the rest. This is the Endgame arc, a seven way battle to the death between the Demon Lords, with David stuck in the middle and trying to beat all of them anyway.