Author Notes: Alice/Bella

I decided to try my had at a Twilight fic. I hope it entertains.

Feedback of any kind is more than welcome of course.

I am unlucky enough to have not had a dream... so I don't own any of this. Thanks Stephanie.

Light, blue like an ocean, covered the statue still body lightly leaning against the left side of the floor to ceiling window. The frame of the window had been carelessly pushed all the way to its most open position. In fact, it was straining against its metal retainers as if it was about to fall off into the clear, crisp night. The below zero temperatures were of no concern and the statue had not moved in as many hours as it took to trek from Anchorage to Denali, which would be quite awhile for a human on foot. Her arms were crossed making her slight shadow seem more angular. This, combined with the spiky shadows her hair sent in all directions made her seem as razor sharp as the cold air. Tonight the sky was completely clear and a large moon spilled its borrowed wealth throughout the landscape allowing for the complete, almost daytime like, illumination of the world for those with more than human sight. The soft bulges of the snow covered ground contrasted with the sharp lines of the trees, which was a wonderful thing to concentrate on if you were not safe inside your own mind. Alice had been safe and sure of herself until she had met a very special human.

Her extra sensory abilities had afforded her a sense of confidence that she had become dependent upon and formed a cornerstone of her personality. She had lived the last 80 or so years with little real disturbances but now something had changed internally, which was amusing since her outward appearance would never shift. She would never age, her hair would never grow, her physical fitness would never dip below the height it now stood at, and she would never know a natural death. These facts had never seemed overly important until they were displayed within her mind in ever apparent contrast to the different course that her silent heart had now taken her on. The frozen world stared back at her as if mocking her inner turmoil. Let it, she deserved the joke the world had played on her. Her carelessness was painfully clear and when she compared her behavior to Edward's ever careful ways she realized that she was to blame. If only she had been a little more careful with her situation she would not be faced with this frozen future.

Actually, the events of Bella's birthday had probably been more helpful to her in the long run than anything else. She was here with Jasper and Bella was in Forks with Edward. This is how it should be. The memories of the black hunger that had overtaken her mate at the sight of Bella's warm blood would stay with her for some time. She was thankful that she had been close enough to block the attack, which gave her some small comfort. The hurt incurred by Jasper's bite was so small in comparison to knowing that her body would be protecting Bella from a far worse fate than she knew. After she had rushed Bella away there was a moment when her mouth almost betrayed her. She had almost related her complete need for Bella right then and there. It was bad enough that she was still clutching the terrified girl to her cold frame like she was the most precious thing in her life. The whispers that threatened to flow from her mouth to Bella's ear were dangerous indications of her own dwindling control. Having Bella so close to her after such a potentially life threatening event was not a good idea and yet she kept Bella held close to her afraid to let go. Bella seemed more than happy to stay where she was while she recovered but Alice became uncomfortable with the smell of Bella's blood in the air and she could sense the paper cut still oozing so she had reluctantly pried herself from Bella and waited for Edward's eventual approach.

She wasn't good at filtering her speech. She had never been more aware of this fact then when she had discovered a growing seed of feelings for her brother's new love interest. Now that she could not speak freely she felt hobbled to the monotonous pleasantries that small talk provided. This was not true of all cases but she had become very careful to make Bella speak more than she herself talked. This was a hard task considering that she was far more verbose than Bella had ever been. Making Bella talk also had the added delight of the knowledge that she had gained from the interaction. The downside to this was that she become more enchanted with each exchange making it harder to smother the now blossoming feelings that had worked their way into her social consciousness. In this one case Jasper's lack of fully established control had worked in their favor. She was removed from the direct influence of Bella's various charms and Bella and the rest of the family were removed from the possibility of an immensely awkward and possibly destructive situation.

Hours after Edward had taken Bella safely away from the Cullen residence Alice had begun to feverishly pack her things. She was joined halfway through her task by Jasper and his somewhat slower pace still made him ready faster than Alice was. He didn't have to ask what they were doing or where they were going. He had embarrassed himself by slipping and even though he never doubted his family's love the code that they lived by was very important to the core of their bond so he knew that they had to go, at least for a time. He gently probed Alice's feelings for a sign of the amount of damage he had done, and picked up on everything he expected. She was feeling guilt, concern, anxiousness, heartsick and a large amount of shame. He was, however, slightly puzzled by the amount of these feelings that she was directing internally. She was not in any way to blame for his breach of control, though knowing Alice she would feel guilty for not seeing the incident in advance and thus not being able to prevent it. They did not have time to converse about what he had picked up and he had no need to rehash the events so soon after they had happened so he let it go and ran their bags to the jeep. They would need it for where they were going.

As soon as they had arrived at their destination in Alaska Jasper had taken to the woods. He was in very great need of a through hunt and half expected Alice to want to accompany him. He would have declined her company even if she had suggested it but he was surprised that she had not mentioned it at all and had instead taken her current position as soon as she was inside the room. The view that their bedroom afforded seemed perfect for her needs and Jasper left her there feeling her swirling emotional state with every step his harried feet took in the direction of his prey. So many hours later when he returned to the large house that the Cullen's had built near the national park. He found his wife in the same condition he had left her. The night embraced her and she seemed to be finding comfort in it so he left her to find some solace of his own. He would stay nearby and feel the vibrations that her breathing created in the air by concentrating on the exact moment she needlessly inhaled and exhaled. They had experienced a great deal of life in their time and with that came confidence in the wisdom you had gained. He counted himself a very lucky man to have been captured by Alice's pull and he had been a student of her every move over the years. He knew it would do no good to pull her attention toward him in her current state. Even if he were hurting he would never cause Alice needless concern. He would sort himself out in time, though it might take awhile to work through this setback. After all, his pride had been wounded.

Alice let Jasper's presence sink to the edge of her awareness and once again concentrated on the outside world. She could not take comfort in his arms because it was so wholly unfair to him. He needed that from her now and she did not have the heart to receive comfort for her heartache in return. She would not feed the beast that she had made of herself with one more emotional betrayal especially since he had no way of being aware of it. She didn't know how long she could resist the relief that awaited her in his embrace but she would hold out for as long as she could bear. They would talk eventually but now was a time for stillness and cool light. Afterward, she would forgive herself and hope that her family would be reunited. She had no place to speak to what Bella needed but her feeling that she could fill her needs better than anyone would not recede for the moment. They were winning and she could see no way out.

Bella had accepted Alice's letter from Edward with confusion marked on her face. Now it was the only proof that she had left that the Cullen's had existed in the first place. She clutched it to her body as if she wanted it to become a part of her. There was nothing left of her love except her quickly fading memories and the hole in her chest. She had tried to understand when Alice and Jasper had left, but she still felt incredibly guilty. She never wanted to be the cause of any kind of pain for anyone, but especially the family that she had come to think of as her own. Edward's departure had completed the demolition of her soul that Alice had began. She had lost her best friend and the center of her orbit in close succession and now she was facing the consequences. It was a moment to moment feeling of collapsible pain. Each wave cascaded into another until she thought she had bottomed out but it started anew again when any stimuli presented itself along with a memory of what she had lost. The whisper of her curtain reminded her of Edward's and Alice's preferred method of entrance to her room. If she so much as heard music the edges of her wound would throb with the memory of Edward's complicated melodies. Whenever she saw her reflection in the mirror she saw herself deteriorating little by little. She would silently wonder if there was a limit to how far she would slide down the abyss she had entered. Would she eventually just die of barely existing? These things and many others related flowed through her all day until she lay her body down to a rest that would not come. Her nightmares of the mist filled forest and her ever escaping needs prevented her from enjoying any restitution to her body or mind. So she walked around as the living wounded a little of her will to live seeping through the bandaged hole in her chest with every breath. Just the rise and fall of her chest was painful and she desperately wished to live in the past and eradicate the present conditions from her thoughts. When she tried to imagine the feeling of being in Edward's arms she could feel the exact memory escaping her. At the rate she was going her ill equipped human brain would cause her to forget what Edward looked like. She could feel the fuzziness around the edges. With months of absence came the haze that began to slowly cover the root of her memory. Occasionally, she let her mind wander to Alice and she could pretend that she felt Alice searching her visions for traces of her, but she would not allow the indulgence for long. She had been the cause of Alice's departure and her clumsiness was the reason she would never see the two most beautiful sights she had ever encountered again. She rose from her bed to begin the day once more. It was practically the same experience over and over by now. She dressed for school and took heart in the fact that none of her friends would bother to distract her from her complete surrender to the feeling of absence.

School was like reading the back of a shampoo bottle, rinse and repeat. It rarely changed and she was able to glide through gaining enough of a feeling for things to just pass by. At lunch she sat silent and pale hovering above her large bowl whose bottom was barely covered by the food she had placed in it. Occasionally, she nibbled at a carrot if anyone looked her way. Everyone's concern with how skinny she was getting had made her learn early on to always appear to be eating something when possible. At least it stopped them from saying anything now. Angela still gamely tried to include her in the conversation and goings on of the group, but everyone else had become somewhat disdainful or immune to her lack of interest in anything. Mike seemed to be waiting for her to snap out of it so he could have his chance to woo her again. He looked for opportunities to distract her from her loss on occasion but mostly he sat by waiting for her to notice him.

The day she had allowed herself to look at the table that the Cullen's had been sitting at the first day she had become aware of them she had nearly collapsed with fresh pain and that was the first time she had unconsciously wrapped her arms around her torso as if to hold herself together. It would become a trend over in the months to follow. Her behavior had concerned the others and she was promptly escorted to the school nurse by the ever helpful Mike. She had insisted she was okay and had returned to class ignoring the skeptical looks that had been thrown her way by both Mike and Mrs. Abernathy.

Charlie was growing worried enough to consult his ex-wife about the condition of their daughter and as much as he enjoyed having her with him he was about to make a decision to send her to her mother when salvation arrived in the form of Jacob Black.