Title: Waiting for a Star
to Fall
Author: Minerva
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: HP/SS (duh, this is the HP/SS FQF wave 5)
Disclaimer: Nope isn't mine no matter how much I wish it was.
Feedback: Always!! Love the stuff!! Mctamom at aol dot com
Beta: The great and powerful Mel AKA Jelly-bean
Archive: Part of the From Dusk till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Fuh-Q-Fest at my website after release date and adultfanfiction.
Challenge: 29. Snape works at Hogwarts because he must - he needs the money. He is in love with Harry, who is about to leave Hogwarts forever. How does he go about winning the heart of the Boy Who Has Everything Given to Him On A Plate? (Anonymous)
5000 word challenge.
A/N: The Lyrics for "Waiting for a Star to Fall" was recorded by Boy Meets Girl.Written by: George Merril/Sharon Rubican
A/N2: SEV IS OOC! Kind of anyway.
'I hate this' the potions master thought to himself as he stormed through the castle on the first day of term after the Easter Hols. 'I hate that I have to work, why the hell did my father piss away the family fortune? I can't believe there is nothing left.' He'd reached the great hall, heaved a great sigh of irritance and entered the room.
He didn't have a choice, he had to teach and during the summer contracted out as a potions master and made some extra money that way. His ancestral home, and all it's belongings were gone. Damn his father for being a gambling and drinking fool. He'd given at least half of the family vaults to support Voldemort's cause then blew the rest of the family fortunes. Leaving Severus Snape and his younger sister Summa penniless. Summa, however, had made her own fortune as a chaser and then as an artist, she made magical portraits for wizarding families, it also didn't hurt that she'd married into the Malfoy family, a cousin of Lucius'. The Snape name however was still in good standing in the Wizarding world, just they had no fortunes left. Severus was happy his sister was taken care of, now he just needed to concentrate on getting himself situated.
Severus knew he could make it solely as a potions master but damn it all, he couldn't save enough over the summers to be able to afford to live and buy his potions ingredients without immediate funding, he was stuck. He knew he would need at least 2500 galleons to start his business, he'd need a place to live and brew as well as stock his shelves, it had taken him seventeen years to save a measly 1200 galleons. Severus only paid for the bare necessities, but he also paid a bundle for his teaching robes as they had to be fire proof and water proof, damn those Hufflepuffs and Longbottoms. It took him most of his teaching year to buy the robes as Hogwarts paid roughly thirty galleons a month, room and board provided. The robes were, after all, 120 galleons each and he needed at least two a year. Although the pay at Hogwarts wasn't bad, it wasn't enough for him to do all the things he wanted, only what he needed.
Walking to his place at the head table he scowled at everyone at all the tables before helping himself to a sparse helping of dinner. He wasn't in a good mood since his mind had been on money today. Bad moods with Severus meant no appetite. Albus watched the boy he loved as a grandson as he moped. Oh yes, he knew the boy well; Severus Snape was moping.
"Problems my boy? Would you like to lighten your burden with an old man?" Albus said in a loving voice. He in return only received a snarl and glare from the Potions Master. "Very well then, lad. If and when you want to talk I'll be ready to listen." Albus then let the moping man back to his dinner.
Sighing heavily again Severus chanced a look around the Great Hall , his eyes caught the one person that would make his day brighter. The raven haired seventh year with the jade green eyes. Harry and Severus had gotten closer by working together with the Order. Harry had gotten even braver and was no longer afraid of the Potion's Master. Harry and Severus had to work fairly closely, and when Harry had apologized for the whole pensieve incident the summer between fifth and sixth year, Severus had accepted. Harry had also doubled his efforts to learn Occlumency, Severus taught him the right way, gave him some literature to read, which Harry had devoured. Harry was currently almost as good as Severus was with the art, he had far fewer visions than before, and the ones he did have were real, and not planted.
Severus knew deep down inside that Harry was going to be his one and only shot at love, if there was such a thing. He was attracted to Harry physically and the lad wasn't afraid of him, nor was he intimidated anymore. Harry had seen through his act and had actually called him on it over the past summer. Severus was hiding his heart so he wouldn't get hurt. And here Severus was calling Harry a child, when he hid himself from everyone. There was nothing more childish than that. He knew Harry at least had respect for the man, and considered him a friend, if nothing else. Was there a way for Severus to get the boy to see him for who he really was? For him to get Harry to see he was hiding his heart, waiting for the right person, and his heart, though he was loathe to admit it, had chosen Harry.
In the Wizarding World, it was common knowledge that when you met your life mate, you knew, without a question, this was the person for you. Not everyone listened to their heart, but Severus had been alone for so long, he was tired of hiding and being alone. Severus had felt this over the last summer when he'd spent a fair amount of time with Harry. Truth be told the whole idea of being with Harry scared the living daylights out of the normally oh so controlled man.
He'd heard a muggle song in the 1980's. He'd been on a rare vacation, and had gone to the states and had walked passed a place and heard a song that seemed to fit how he felt perfectly. He sighed and closed his eyes as the song began to play in his head.
I hear your name whispered on the wind
It's a sound that makes me cry
I hear a song blow again and again
Through my mind and I don't know why
I wish I didn't feel so strong about you
Like happiness and love revolve around you
Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
So many people love you baby
That must be what you are
Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah
I've learned to feel what I cannot see
But with you I lose that vision
I don't know how to dream your dream
So I'm all caught up in superstition
I want to reach out and pull you to me
Who says I should let a wild one go free
Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
But I can't love you this much baby
And love you from this far
Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah
Waiting (however long...)
I don't like waiting (I'll wait for you...)
It's so hard waiting (don't be too long...)
Seems like waiting (makes me love you even more...)
Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah
He needed to make a decision and he needed to do it quickly. He had three months to either win Harry over or let him go forever. If he was going to try and win Harry over he was going to have to start quickly. He'd lost enough time as it was. He knew exactly who he needed to talk to: Summa. He knew she was coming in for his birthday, she always did, but he would ask her to come a bit earlier. He needed to make this decision quick, and her mind was as sharp as his was, but he was emotionally involved, so it was best to ask an outsider. The outsider however, had to be someone he trusted, and he trusted his sister, even with his heart.
Finished with his dinner, he made his excuses and penned a letter to his sister. After he'd owled his sister he showered, readied for bed and drifted off into an erotic night's sleep. Dreams of Harry fluttered through his head as he slept a fairly peaceful nights sleep, which was a blessed and rare occasion for him.
When May finally rolled around, he looked forward to his sister coming. She said she'd come about a week early and spend the week with him, as well as a few days after his birthday just to ensure everything was set. He'd given her a rough outline of what was happening, but he'd rather give her the full story in person. She could appreciate that fact, and accepted it.
On the day Summa arrived, it was a Saturday, so there were no classes in session. She'd passed many students, including Harry, which had never seen the woman before. Although he thought she looked familiar, he couldn't quite place it. She smiled at him to which he hesitantly smiled in return and nodded his head in a silent greeting before continuing on his way out of the school and onto the Quidditch pitch for practice. Summa could see the reason for her brother's physical attraction at least, he was quite good looking. Curiosity was now getting the better of her and she walked swiftly through the remaining part of the castle to her brother's chambers where she knocked politely and didn't have to wait long for him to answer. When Severus opened the door he smiled widely at his little sister before sweeping her into his arms and hugging her firmly. He only really got to see his sister once a year, and he had missed her. They were very close, after all.
Finally releasing his sister he ushered her into his quarters. She smiled at him and entered, kicked off her shoes immediately and sat indian style on the sofa.
"I saw him!" She exclaimed before he even had a chance to sit down. He beamed at her, hearing the approval in her statement. "He's beautiful, Sev, you've done well for yourself. Now, fill me in on all the details and I'll help you win him over, you really shouldn't let him go." She was eager to help her older brother finally find happiness and maybe even a way out of his situation. She had the money to help him, but he had refused time after time any offer of any help, it's just the sort of stubborn pride he had.
"Well, as you saw Summa, he really is quite handsome. He's brave, a little shy at times, and from what I've seen and heard through rumors, he's clueless when it comes to love. It could be staring him in the face and he wouldn't see it." Severus sighed, thinking that even if he did go about this the right way, without a blunt statement Harry might not even know what was going on.
Summa smiled at her brother, she was seeing first hand the effect the handsome young man had on her overbearing and cynical brother. The normally reserved, controlled and snarky bastard that was Severus Snape, well, that man was in love, and love changes even the most stubborn of people. She raised her hand and placed it gently on his cheek pulling him out of his reverie, he smiled back at her. Being so close to her brother she could see something others would miss in a heartbeat. His icy heart was melting and it was due to that young man, the young man that wasn't even in his life yet, and he was melting. It brought joy to Summa's heart to see her brother in such a state, and she knew, the only other person he would let see him in such a way, would be Harry when the time was right.
"Well dear brother, it looks like you're head over heels for this lad. You know I'll help you in any way possible. Lets get plotting shall we? Tell me the goods that you have on him, and I'll help you create some things we, or rather, you can give him to win his heart." She grinned at her brother as a little color appeared upon his cheeks. She remembered the days before she began going out with, let alone marrying, Eligius Elvio Malfoy.
"Well, in detail about his likes and dislikes, I don't know a lot but here's what I have. He is as close as can be to obsessed, without actually being so, with Quidditch, he's got a strong like to some animals, the normal kinds of animals, crups, kneazles, and phoenixes. His favorite color is a soft jade green. He doesn't read very much outside of school." Severus paused as he thought. "That's really all I have, it's not much but I do believe it's a start in the right direction."
"Yes, it's a start at least." Summa's brow furrowed in though she thought about the information given to her. A smile began to form on her lips as an idea came to her. "Why don't you get him a two-way journal? You know, like the ones you and I had while we were here. It'd let him get to know the real you, not the snarky bastard, then when the time is right, you could tell him who you are." Summa beamed at her brother as he thought about it.
"Yes, that would work, but he'd have it tested to ensure nothing is wrong with it. It might work, I remember the ordeal it was when he got that blasted Firebolt from Black." Severus growled out the dead man's name.
"Well, it's worth a shot, just write him a letter with it, explaining to him what it is and I think it'll be fine. I'll help you with the letter if you like." She responded kindly to her brother. "Come on, lets go to Hogsmeade, they should have them at Dervish and Banges," she got up and reached for her brother's hand as he rolled his eyes but complied.
When they got back Summa assisted Severus in composing a letter to Harry, which was to be delivered the following day. Severus went up to the owlery late in the night and summoned Hedwig down to him. He knew Harry would trust it better if Hedwig brought it to him. Hedwig flew down and perched herself on a waiting perch in front of the potions master.
"I need you to take this to Harry in the morning." Hedwig looked at the man before her with accusing eyes. Eyes so accusing he felt this urge to explain himself to the owl. "I promise not to do anything to hurt him. It's a gift, I'm trying to win him over, but I can't do that face to face with him yet. Will you take it to him?"
Hedwig clicked her beak at him before going to sit on her perch with the parcel tied to her leg, where she would wait till morning. Severus smiled at the owl. It was so like Harry to have even his animals love him and want to protect him. Severus made a mental note to wake very early so he could see Harry's reaction to the gift in the Great Hall the next morning. He'd have to take Summa with him as well.
The next morning dawned brightly and Harry went through his morning ritual as always. He enjoyed spending the weekend mornings quietly eating by himself. Halfway through his breakfast the owl post arrived. Harry spotted Hedwig flying towards him and smiled, he hadn't seen her in a few days. His smile grew wider, yet puzzled as he saw she had mail for him. He never had mail anymore, not since..well, not since Sirius died. Harry took the burden from her leg and put it to the side, for the moment, Hedwig was more important to him.
"Well girl, it's been a few days since I've seen you, how are you?" She hooted softly in reply and gently nipped at his finger. "I take it I can trust who sent this? They meant me no harm?" Again Hedwig hooted and ruffled her feather. She walked on the table close to him staring into his eyes until Harry lowered his head so he was eye level with her, and she quickly beaked his lower lip waiting for Harry's typical giggle at the action before she took flight once again and went back to the owlery. Harry didn't realize it, but his potions master watched the whole thing from the head table. Being a Sunday, and fairly early, the Great Hall was mostly empty, giving the man an excellent view of the young man that starred in his erotic dreams.
Harry took another bite of his eggs while eyeing the package Hedwig had brought. It looked as though it was a small book. Harry pulled the letter that was attached to the top of the parcel and opened it, intending on reading it before opening the box. Severus watched, pleased that Harry had patience enough to read the letter before opening the journal. He watched as Harry began to read the letter and saw the smile that appeared as he reached the end of the letter. He thought about what he'd written the night before to his beloved.
'Dearest Harry,
I know this may sound odd, and by all means, you may think as such, but I have to tell you some things. You do know me, well you know of me, I should say, you don't really know the true me. That is my fault and my fault alone. I would like to get to know you better and for you to get to know the real me, not what you've seen me to be. I've not been nice to you in the past, but I want to change that, and I'm going to explain to you why.
In the Wizarding world, there are such a thing as Heart Mates. This is to say, when someone knows with their heart, that this person is the one they would spend their lifetime with. It is typically thought a very romantic notion, and it is, for those who have a romantic heart. You may or may not have felt such an emotion toward one person or another. I, however, have felt this toward you. There is a deep seeded yearning in my heart for you. It's very difficult for me to tell you that, it really is. But I want to be completely honest with you, and to do that, I have to be honest with myself, no matter how loathe I am to admit it.
If you're reading this first, then you don't know what's in the package. It's a two-way journal, I have the other journal. You can have it checked for your safety if you feel the need to do so, the only spells on it is a communication spell, and a peeping tom spell (which keeps anyone but you from being able to read it). The journals have also been dipped into Veritaserum, so that whatever we write we will not be able to lie. Anything and everything you write in your journal will appear in mine, and everything I write in mine, will appear in yours as well. I figure this is a good way to start until you get to know the real me better.
As I said before, you know of me, what I wanted you to see. I can no longer be like that. Your schooling years are quickly coming to an end, and I fear after this year, when you graduate, you'll no longer be a part of my life, and.. well, I can't live with that. I want to at least have you get to know the real me before I reveal myself to you in person, though I fear, I may have given that away in this letter, I really don't care. Please Harry, just give me a chance to show you the real me, you may like me.
Yours,
Me'
Since he'd seen Harry smiling at the end of the letter he figured that was a yes, that he'd give Severus a chance.
Later that evening Severus went back to his rooms and sat at his personal desk that was, as always, immaculate with the exception of the second journal of the pair. Severus smiled as he thought of what may lay inside the bindings of the book. He heaved a great sigh of hope before closing his eyes for a moment, trying to prepare himself for whatever may be written on the pages within. Opening his eyes and displaying a mask of indifference he turned the cover to open the book and began to read what had been written.
'Hello me,
Although I'd like to know your name, I have an idea, but I'll play your game for now. I'm not sure what I should be writing to you. You say you've been cruel to me over the years, there have been a couple of people who've been that way toward me.
I'm sorry to say, but as a safety precaution, I had this book checked out. I hope you understand and are not offended. I knew you were all right, though, Hedwig, my owl, doesn't go to just anyone, but I had to make sure. She likes you, just so you know.
Well, I think that's all I'll write for now, well, maybe not, I could ask some questions I suppose. I've heard about the Heart Mates thing before, my best friend, well one of them, Hermione Granger told me about them once. She'd read about it and found it absolutely fascinating, but then again, she finds most things that are new to her fascinating. She's quite odd now that I think on it, but I love her anyway, even with her quirky ways. I have felt a sort of pull, I guess that's the word I'm looking for, toward someone, but I doubt he'd want anything to do with me. I started to feel it over this past summer. I..well, I'll save that for another conversation, later.
Anyway, tell me about yourself, things you like to do, what's your life's passion, those sort of things. My life's passion, I'd have to say so far, is drawing. Not very many people know that about me, you're maybe the third to know it. Not even my best friends know that about me. I enjoy writing as well. I also love to cook and mess in the garden. Well, that's all I can really think of for now, I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully soon.
Harry.'
Severus smiled and showed the entry to Summa, she smiled back at him.
"You never know Sev, it could be you he's felt the pull to. Wouldn't that be amazing?" Summa beamed at her older brother.
"I'm not holding my breath here Su, it could very well be for someone else." Severus still couldn't help but smile, it was a positive start to say the least. "I've got to write him back." Severus eagerly grabbed his quill and ink pot and began to pen a response to Harry.
'Dearest Harry,
I'm not offended in the least that you got the book checked out. Given your current situation in life, you can't be too careful. I assure you I've no intention of using any of the information you give me against you, I couldn't bear to hurt you in such a way.
As for my life's passions, it's not what one would think it is. My life's passion is reading, reading anything and everything I can get my hands on. If I could make a living from reading, you'd better believe I'd be doing it. Not correcting mind, just reading. There's not much else other than reading, I'm a very quiet person by nature.
To be honest I want to run up to the tower and hug the stuffing out of you. But I can't, it might actually scare you to see me in that capacity. I honestly want to tell you quite badly who I am, but at the same time I never want you to know either.
You know what Harry, I can't do this, I thought I could, but I can't. Meet me tomorrow (Monday) by the lake at dinner. I'll have a dinner for us, so don't worry about missing it. Please meet with me?
Yours,
Me.'
Severus sighed and showed Summa what he wrote. She smiled gently at him.
"Are you sure you're ready for him to know? I mean you only gave him the journal this morning." Summa couldn't bring herself to say anything else.
There was a weird look in her brother's eye, one she'd never seen before, it was a fearful determination. He was scared yet determined. He was tired of waiting to get what he wanted, he was going for it, rules be damned. She understood what he was doing, and why he was doing it. She just hoped it worked out for him. She knew he feared rejection, and if the one Harry had felt the pull to wasn't Severus, it would destroy the man, however there was still hope that it was in fact Severus he felt the pull for.
"Why don't you go lay down, you can check for a reply in the morning." As she spoke she looked toward the book and a message was coming up, she pulled on Severus' arm to get his attention since he was already heading toward his room. He looked back at her questioningly when he noticed her gaze toward the book and stepped back and grinned at the reply he'd already gotten.
'I'll be there, are you sure you don't want me to bring anything?'
Severus reached for his quill and scrawled out elegantly 'Just yourself Harry, just yourself.'
Severus went to bed and had a fitful night's sleep, he was anxious, not a bad sort of anxious, but enough to keep him from sleeping well.
Dinner approached quickly, the day flew by for Severus and seemed to drag for Harry, but in fifteen minutes they would both find out the response. Severus had gone out to the lake as soon as his classes were over to think and pray to the gods that be that Harry would be ok with him. Severus was sitting in a yoga position so he could meditate and wait for Harry to come out and join him.. Being in such a state he didn't hear when Harry walked up nor did he hear Harry take up the similar position and begin to meditate as well.
Harry had smiled widely when he saw Severus sitting by the lake meditating, he knew the man did that from time to time, having worked with him in the past. Harry couldn't be more pleased with the situation, it was toward Severus that he'd felt the pull, he was very pleased to find Severus out waiting by the lake for him.
When Severus finally opened his eyes he was shocked to see Harry meditating in front of him. He couldn't believe it, did this mean Harry didn't mind? Without realizing it, he whispered out Harry's name reverently. Harry's eyes immediately snapped open and he looked directly into the eyes of his professor and blushed.
"Ummm, hello sir." Harry started, not quite sure what to call the man in front of him.
"Severus, Harry, from now on, while we're in private, I'm Severus, or as my sister likes to call me, 'Sev'." Severus watched as Harry looked questioningly at him and then a light appeared in his eyes as if he'd just connected an important piece of information.
"I've seen your sister, I think, did she come here on Saturday?" Harry asked.
"Yes, she did, she said she'd seen you. She also said you're quite the looker too." Severus smiled as Harry looked down and blushed at the compliment.
"It's you, you know." Harry said quietly still not looking up from the ground, Severus almost didn't hear him say anything.
"What's me Harry?" Severus asked almost as quietly.
"The pull, the one I felt last summer, it was to you." At the end Harry looked up to his professor's face, his eyes alight with a serene kind of love, something Severus would ever imagine was directed toward himself.
"I..I.. Thank you." Was all Severus was able to say. "Does this mean, that if I ask it of you, you'll stay with me over the summer and possibly beyond that?" Severus asked, not daring to get his hopes up.
"I'd like that Severus." Harry had spoken his name, and it sounded like heaven to Severus. Harry's voice wasn't quite as deep as most males, but it was a smooth sound, a welcome sound, a sound Severus wanted to hear for the rest of his life.
Severus stood up and helped Harry to stand as well. "Come Harry, you absolutely must meet my sister. She's going to be thrilled and I think you both will hit it off beautifully!"
Severus was correct, when they entered Severus' chambers, there sat Summa reading a book. She looked up when she heard the door open and she got up held Harry out at arm's length before pulling him into a tight hug, the same kind she always got from Sev when she came to visit.
"Welcome to the family!" She had whispered into his ear as she hugged him, she then grinned up to her brother. Her grin shining with approval of the young man in her arms.
"Thank you." Harry whispered back, honestly feeling for the first time in his life that he was home. He'd never felt this safe and comfortable, ever, except maybe before his parents died.
And so started a wonderful relationship between the latest set of Heart Mates in the Snape family.
Finished
Author: Minerva
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: HP/SS (duh, this is the HP/SS FQF wave 5)
Disclaimer: Nope isn't mine no matter how much I wish it was.
Feedback: Always!! Love the stuff!! Mctamom at aol dot com
Beta: The great and powerful Mel AKA Jelly-bean
Archive: Part of the From Dusk till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Fuh-Q-Fest at my website after release date and adultfanfiction.
Challenge: 29. Snape works at Hogwarts because he must - he needs the money. He is in love with Harry, who is about to leave Hogwarts forever. How does he go about winning the heart of the Boy Who Has Everything Given to Him On A Plate? (Anonymous)
5000 word challenge.
A/N: The Lyrics for "Waiting for a Star to Fall" was recorded by Boy Meets Girl.Written by: George Merril/Sharon Rubican
A/N2: SEV IS OOC! Kind of anyway.
'I hate this' the potions master thought to himself as he stormed through the castle on the first day of term after the Easter Hols. 'I hate that I have to work, why the hell did my father piss away the family fortune? I can't believe there is nothing left.' He'd reached the great hall, heaved a great sigh of irritance and entered the room.
He didn't have a choice, he had to teach and during the summer contracted out as a potions master and made some extra money that way. His ancestral home, and all it's belongings were gone. Damn his father for being a gambling and drinking fool. He'd given at least half of the family vaults to support Voldemort's cause then blew the rest of the family fortunes. Leaving Severus Snape and his younger sister Summa penniless. Summa, however, had made her own fortune as a chaser and then as an artist, she made magical portraits for wizarding families, it also didn't hurt that she'd married into the Malfoy family, a cousin of Lucius'. The Snape name however was still in good standing in the Wizarding world, just they had no fortunes left. Severus was happy his sister was taken care of, now he just needed to concentrate on getting himself situated.
Severus knew he could make it solely as a potions master but damn it all, he couldn't save enough over the summers to be able to afford to live and buy his potions ingredients without immediate funding, he was stuck. He knew he would need at least 2500 galleons to start his business, he'd need a place to live and brew as well as stock his shelves, it had taken him seventeen years to save a measly 1200 galleons. Severus only paid for the bare necessities, but he also paid a bundle for his teaching robes as they had to be fire proof and water proof, damn those Hufflepuffs and Longbottoms. It took him most of his teaching year to buy the robes as Hogwarts paid roughly thirty galleons a month, room and board provided. The robes were, after all, 120 galleons each and he needed at least two a year. Although the pay at Hogwarts wasn't bad, it wasn't enough for him to do all the things he wanted, only what he needed.
Walking to his place at the head table he scowled at everyone at all the tables before helping himself to a sparse helping of dinner. He wasn't in a good mood since his mind had been on money today. Bad moods with Severus meant no appetite. Albus watched the boy he loved as a grandson as he moped. Oh yes, he knew the boy well; Severus Snape was moping.
"Problems my boy? Would you like to lighten your burden with an old man?" Albus said in a loving voice. He in return only received a snarl and glare from the Potions Master. "Very well then, lad. If and when you want to talk I'll be ready to listen." Albus then let the moping man back to his dinner.
Sighing heavily again Severus chanced a look around the Great Hall , his eyes caught the one person that would make his day brighter. The raven haired seventh year with the jade green eyes. Harry and Severus had gotten closer by working together with the Order. Harry had gotten even braver and was no longer afraid of the Potion's Master. Harry and Severus had to work fairly closely, and when Harry had apologized for the whole pensieve incident the summer between fifth and sixth year, Severus had accepted. Harry had also doubled his efforts to learn Occlumency, Severus taught him the right way, gave him some literature to read, which Harry had devoured. Harry was currently almost as good as Severus was with the art, he had far fewer visions than before, and the ones he did have were real, and not planted.
Severus knew deep down inside that Harry was going to be his one and only shot at love, if there was such a thing. He was attracted to Harry physically and the lad wasn't afraid of him, nor was he intimidated anymore. Harry had seen through his act and had actually called him on it over the past summer. Severus was hiding his heart so he wouldn't get hurt. And here Severus was calling Harry a child, when he hid himself from everyone. There was nothing more childish than that. He knew Harry at least had respect for the man, and considered him a friend, if nothing else. Was there a way for Severus to get the boy to see him for who he really was? For him to get Harry to see he was hiding his heart, waiting for the right person, and his heart, though he was loathe to admit it, had chosen Harry.
In the Wizarding World, it was common knowledge that when you met your life mate, you knew, without a question, this was the person for you. Not everyone listened to their heart, but Severus had been alone for so long, he was tired of hiding and being alone. Severus had felt this over the last summer when he'd spent a fair amount of time with Harry. Truth be told the whole idea of being with Harry scared the living daylights out of the normally oh so controlled man.
He'd heard a muggle song in the 1980's. He'd been on a rare vacation, and had gone to the states and had walked passed a place and heard a song that seemed to fit how he felt perfectly. He sighed and closed his eyes as the song began to play in his head.
I hear your name whispered on the wind
It's a sound that makes me cry
I hear a song blow again and again
Through my mind and I don't know why
I wish I didn't feel so strong about you
Like happiness and love revolve around you
Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
So many people love you baby
That must be what you are
Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah
I've learned to feel what I cannot see
But with you I lose that vision
I don't know how to dream your dream
So I'm all caught up in superstition
I want to reach out and pull you to me
Who says I should let a wild one go free
Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
But I can't love you this much baby
And love you from this far
Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah
Waiting (however long...)
I don't like waiting (I'll wait for you...)
It's so hard waiting (don't be too long...)
Seems like waiting (makes me love you even more...)
Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah
He needed to make a decision and he needed to do it quickly. He had three months to either win Harry over or let him go forever. If he was going to try and win Harry over he was going to have to start quickly. He'd lost enough time as it was. He knew exactly who he needed to talk to: Summa. He knew she was coming in for his birthday, she always did, but he would ask her to come a bit earlier. He needed to make this decision quick, and her mind was as sharp as his was, but he was emotionally involved, so it was best to ask an outsider. The outsider however, had to be someone he trusted, and he trusted his sister, even with his heart.
Finished with his dinner, he made his excuses and penned a letter to his sister. After he'd owled his sister he showered, readied for bed and drifted off into an erotic night's sleep. Dreams of Harry fluttered through his head as he slept a fairly peaceful nights sleep, which was a blessed and rare occasion for him.
When May finally rolled around, he looked forward to his sister coming. She said she'd come about a week early and spend the week with him, as well as a few days after his birthday just to ensure everything was set. He'd given her a rough outline of what was happening, but he'd rather give her the full story in person. She could appreciate that fact, and accepted it.
On the day Summa arrived, it was a Saturday, so there were no classes in session. She'd passed many students, including Harry, which had never seen the woman before. Although he thought she looked familiar, he couldn't quite place it. She smiled at him to which he hesitantly smiled in return and nodded his head in a silent greeting before continuing on his way out of the school and onto the Quidditch pitch for practice. Summa could see the reason for her brother's physical attraction at least, he was quite good looking. Curiosity was now getting the better of her and she walked swiftly through the remaining part of the castle to her brother's chambers where she knocked politely and didn't have to wait long for him to answer. When Severus opened the door he smiled widely at his little sister before sweeping her into his arms and hugging her firmly. He only really got to see his sister once a year, and he had missed her. They were very close, after all.
Finally releasing his sister he ushered her into his quarters. She smiled at him and entered, kicked off her shoes immediately and sat indian style on the sofa.
"I saw him!" She exclaimed before he even had a chance to sit down. He beamed at her, hearing the approval in her statement. "He's beautiful, Sev, you've done well for yourself. Now, fill me in on all the details and I'll help you win him over, you really shouldn't let him go." She was eager to help her older brother finally find happiness and maybe even a way out of his situation. She had the money to help him, but he had refused time after time any offer of any help, it's just the sort of stubborn pride he had.
"Well, as you saw Summa, he really is quite handsome. He's brave, a little shy at times, and from what I've seen and heard through rumors, he's clueless when it comes to love. It could be staring him in the face and he wouldn't see it." Severus sighed, thinking that even if he did go about this the right way, without a blunt statement Harry might not even know what was going on.
Summa smiled at her brother, she was seeing first hand the effect the handsome young man had on her overbearing and cynical brother. The normally reserved, controlled and snarky bastard that was Severus Snape, well, that man was in love, and love changes even the most stubborn of people. She raised her hand and placed it gently on his cheek pulling him out of his reverie, he smiled back at her. Being so close to her brother she could see something others would miss in a heartbeat. His icy heart was melting and it was due to that young man, the young man that wasn't even in his life yet, and he was melting. It brought joy to Summa's heart to see her brother in such a state, and she knew, the only other person he would let see him in such a way, would be Harry when the time was right.
"Well dear brother, it looks like you're head over heels for this lad. You know I'll help you in any way possible. Lets get plotting shall we? Tell me the goods that you have on him, and I'll help you create some things we, or rather, you can give him to win his heart." She grinned at her brother as a little color appeared upon his cheeks. She remembered the days before she began going out with, let alone marrying, Eligius Elvio Malfoy.
"Well, in detail about his likes and dislikes, I don't know a lot but here's what I have. He is as close as can be to obsessed, without actually being so, with Quidditch, he's got a strong like to some animals, the normal kinds of animals, crups, kneazles, and phoenixes. His favorite color is a soft jade green. He doesn't read very much outside of school." Severus paused as he thought. "That's really all I have, it's not much but I do believe it's a start in the right direction."
"Yes, it's a start at least." Summa's brow furrowed in though she thought about the information given to her. A smile began to form on her lips as an idea came to her. "Why don't you get him a two-way journal? You know, like the ones you and I had while we were here. It'd let him get to know the real you, not the snarky bastard, then when the time is right, you could tell him who you are." Summa beamed at her brother as he thought about it.
"Yes, that would work, but he'd have it tested to ensure nothing is wrong with it. It might work, I remember the ordeal it was when he got that blasted Firebolt from Black." Severus growled out the dead man's name.
"Well, it's worth a shot, just write him a letter with it, explaining to him what it is and I think it'll be fine. I'll help you with the letter if you like." She responded kindly to her brother. "Come on, lets go to Hogsmeade, they should have them at Dervish and Banges," she got up and reached for her brother's hand as he rolled his eyes but complied.
When they got back Summa assisted Severus in composing a letter to Harry, which was to be delivered the following day. Severus went up to the owlery late in the night and summoned Hedwig down to him. He knew Harry would trust it better if Hedwig brought it to him. Hedwig flew down and perched herself on a waiting perch in front of the potions master.
"I need you to take this to Harry in the morning." Hedwig looked at the man before her with accusing eyes. Eyes so accusing he felt this urge to explain himself to the owl. "I promise not to do anything to hurt him. It's a gift, I'm trying to win him over, but I can't do that face to face with him yet. Will you take it to him?"
Hedwig clicked her beak at him before going to sit on her perch with the parcel tied to her leg, where she would wait till morning. Severus smiled at the owl. It was so like Harry to have even his animals love him and want to protect him. Severus made a mental note to wake very early so he could see Harry's reaction to the gift in the Great Hall the next morning. He'd have to take Summa with him as well.
The next morning dawned brightly and Harry went through his morning ritual as always. He enjoyed spending the weekend mornings quietly eating by himself. Halfway through his breakfast the owl post arrived. Harry spotted Hedwig flying towards him and smiled, he hadn't seen her in a few days. His smile grew wider, yet puzzled as he saw she had mail for him. He never had mail anymore, not since..well, not since Sirius died. Harry took the burden from her leg and put it to the side, for the moment, Hedwig was more important to him.
"Well girl, it's been a few days since I've seen you, how are you?" She hooted softly in reply and gently nipped at his finger. "I take it I can trust who sent this? They meant me no harm?" Again Hedwig hooted and ruffled her feather. She walked on the table close to him staring into his eyes until Harry lowered his head so he was eye level with her, and she quickly beaked his lower lip waiting for Harry's typical giggle at the action before she took flight once again and went back to the owlery. Harry didn't realize it, but his potions master watched the whole thing from the head table. Being a Sunday, and fairly early, the Great Hall was mostly empty, giving the man an excellent view of the young man that starred in his erotic dreams.
Harry took another bite of his eggs while eyeing the package Hedwig had brought. It looked as though it was a small book. Harry pulled the letter that was attached to the top of the parcel and opened it, intending on reading it before opening the box. Severus watched, pleased that Harry had patience enough to read the letter before opening the journal. He watched as Harry began to read the letter and saw the smile that appeared as he reached the end of the letter. He thought about what he'd written the night before to his beloved.
'Dearest Harry,
I know this may sound odd, and by all means, you may think as such, but I have to tell you some things. You do know me, well you know of me, I should say, you don't really know the true me. That is my fault and my fault alone. I would like to get to know you better and for you to get to know the real me, not what you've seen me to be. I've not been nice to you in the past, but I want to change that, and I'm going to explain to you why.
In the Wizarding world, there are such a thing as Heart Mates. This is to say, when someone knows with their heart, that this person is the one they would spend their lifetime with. It is typically thought a very romantic notion, and it is, for those who have a romantic heart. You may or may not have felt such an emotion toward one person or another. I, however, have felt this toward you. There is a deep seeded yearning in my heart for you. It's very difficult for me to tell you that, it really is. But I want to be completely honest with you, and to do that, I have to be honest with myself, no matter how loathe I am to admit it.
If you're reading this first, then you don't know what's in the package. It's a two-way journal, I have the other journal. You can have it checked for your safety if you feel the need to do so, the only spells on it is a communication spell, and a peeping tom spell (which keeps anyone but you from being able to read it). The journals have also been dipped into Veritaserum, so that whatever we write we will not be able to lie. Anything and everything you write in your journal will appear in mine, and everything I write in mine, will appear in yours as well. I figure this is a good way to start until you get to know the real me better.
As I said before, you know of me, what I wanted you to see. I can no longer be like that. Your schooling years are quickly coming to an end, and I fear after this year, when you graduate, you'll no longer be a part of my life, and.. well, I can't live with that. I want to at least have you get to know the real me before I reveal myself to you in person, though I fear, I may have given that away in this letter, I really don't care. Please Harry, just give me a chance to show you the real me, you may like me.
Yours,
Me'
Since he'd seen Harry smiling at the end of the letter he figured that was a yes, that he'd give Severus a chance.
Later that evening Severus went back to his rooms and sat at his personal desk that was, as always, immaculate with the exception of the second journal of the pair. Severus smiled as he thought of what may lay inside the bindings of the book. He heaved a great sigh of hope before closing his eyes for a moment, trying to prepare himself for whatever may be written on the pages within. Opening his eyes and displaying a mask of indifference he turned the cover to open the book and began to read what had been written.
'Hello me,
Although I'd like to know your name, I have an idea, but I'll play your game for now. I'm not sure what I should be writing to you. You say you've been cruel to me over the years, there have been a couple of people who've been that way toward me.
I'm sorry to say, but as a safety precaution, I had this book checked out. I hope you understand and are not offended. I knew you were all right, though, Hedwig, my owl, doesn't go to just anyone, but I had to make sure. She likes you, just so you know.
Well, I think that's all I'll write for now, well, maybe not, I could ask some questions I suppose. I've heard about the Heart Mates thing before, my best friend, well one of them, Hermione Granger told me about them once. She'd read about it and found it absolutely fascinating, but then again, she finds most things that are new to her fascinating. She's quite odd now that I think on it, but I love her anyway, even with her quirky ways. I have felt a sort of pull, I guess that's the word I'm looking for, toward someone, but I doubt he'd want anything to do with me. I started to feel it over this past summer. I..well, I'll save that for another conversation, later.
Anyway, tell me about yourself, things you like to do, what's your life's passion, those sort of things. My life's passion, I'd have to say so far, is drawing. Not very many people know that about me, you're maybe the third to know it. Not even my best friends know that about me. I enjoy writing as well. I also love to cook and mess in the garden. Well, that's all I can really think of for now, I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully soon.
Harry.'
Severus smiled and showed the entry to Summa, she smiled back at him.
"You never know Sev, it could be you he's felt the pull to. Wouldn't that be amazing?" Summa beamed at her older brother.
"I'm not holding my breath here Su, it could very well be for someone else." Severus still couldn't help but smile, it was a positive start to say the least. "I've got to write him back." Severus eagerly grabbed his quill and ink pot and began to pen a response to Harry.
'Dearest Harry,
I'm not offended in the least that you got the book checked out. Given your current situation in life, you can't be too careful. I assure you I've no intention of using any of the information you give me against you, I couldn't bear to hurt you in such a way.
As for my life's passions, it's not what one would think it is. My life's passion is reading, reading anything and everything I can get my hands on. If I could make a living from reading, you'd better believe I'd be doing it. Not correcting mind, just reading. There's not much else other than reading, I'm a very quiet person by nature.
To be honest I want to run up to the tower and hug the stuffing out of you. But I can't, it might actually scare you to see me in that capacity. I honestly want to tell you quite badly who I am, but at the same time I never want you to know either.
You know what Harry, I can't do this, I thought I could, but I can't. Meet me tomorrow (Monday) by the lake at dinner. I'll have a dinner for us, so don't worry about missing it. Please meet with me?
Yours,
Me.'
Severus sighed and showed Summa what he wrote. She smiled gently at him.
"Are you sure you're ready for him to know? I mean you only gave him the journal this morning." Summa couldn't bring herself to say anything else.
There was a weird look in her brother's eye, one she'd never seen before, it was a fearful determination. He was scared yet determined. He was tired of waiting to get what he wanted, he was going for it, rules be damned. She understood what he was doing, and why he was doing it. She just hoped it worked out for him. She knew he feared rejection, and if the one Harry had felt the pull to wasn't Severus, it would destroy the man, however there was still hope that it was in fact Severus he felt the pull for.
"Why don't you go lay down, you can check for a reply in the morning." As she spoke she looked toward the book and a message was coming up, she pulled on Severus' arm to get his attention since he was already heading toward his room. He looked back at her questioningly when he noticed her gaze toward the book and stepped back and grinned at the reply he'd already gotten.
'I'll be there, are you sure you don't want me to bring anything?'
Severus reached for his quill and scrawled out elegantly 'Just yourself Harry, just yourself.'
Severus went to bed and had a fitful night's sleep, he was anxious, not a bad sort of anxious, but enough to keep him from sleeping well.
Dinner approached quickly, the day flew by for Severus and seemed to drag for Harry, but in fifteen minutes they would both find out the response. Severus had gone out to the lake as soon as his classes were over to think and pray to the gods that be that Harry would be ok with him. Severus was sitting in a yoga position so he could meditate and wait for Harry to come out and join him.. Being in such a state he didn't hear when Harry walked up nor did he hear Harry take up the similar position and begin to meditate as well.
Harry had smiled widely when he saw Severus sitting by the lake meditating, he knew the man did that from time to time, having worked with him in the past. Harry couldn't be more pleased with the situation, it was toward Severus that he'd felt the pull, he was very pleased to find Severus out waiting by the lake for him.
When Severus finally opened his eyes he was shocked to see Harry meditating in front of him. He couldn't believe it, did this mean Harry didn't mind? Without realizing it, he whispered out Harry's name reverently. Harry's eyes immediately snapped open and he looked directly into the eyes of his professor and blushed.
"Ummm, hello sir." Harry started, not quite sure what to call the man in front of him.
"Severus, Harry, from now on, while we're in private, I'm Severus, or as my sister likes to call me, 'Sev'." Severus watched as Harry looked questioningly at him and then a light appeared in his eyes as if he'd just connected an important piece of information.
"I've seen your sister, I think, did she come here on Saturday?" Harry asked.
"Yes, she did, she said she'd seen you. She also said you're quite the looker too." Severus smiled as Harry looked down and blushed at the compliment.
"It's you, you know." Harry said quietly still not looking up from the ground, Severus almost didn't hear him say anything.
"What's me Harry?" Severus asked almost as quietly.
"The pull, the one I felt last summer, it was to you." At the end Harry looked up to his professor's face, his eyes alight with a serene kind of love, something Severus would ever imagine was directed toward himself.
"I..I.. Thank you." Was all Severus was able to say. "Does this mean, that if I ask it of you, you'll stay with me over the summer and possibly beyond that?" Severus asked, not daring to get his hopes up.
"I'd like that Severus." Harry had spoken his name, and it sounded like heaven to Severus. Harry's voice wasn't quite as deep as most males, but it was a smooth sound, a welcome sound, a sound Severus wanted to hear for the rest of his life.
Severus stood up and helped Harry to stand as well. "Come Harry, you absolutely must meet my sister. She's going to be thrilled and I think you both will hit it off beautifully!"
Severus was correct, when they entered Severus' chambers, there sat Summa reading a book. She looked up when she heard the door open and she got up held Harry out at arm's length before pulling him into a tight hug, the same kind she always got from Sev when she came to visit.
"Welcome to the family!" She had whispered into his ear as she hugged him, she then grinned up to her brother. Her grin shining with approval of the young man in her arms.
"Thank you." Harry whispered back, honestly feeling for the first time in his life that he was home. He'd never felt this safe and comfortable, ever, except maybe before his parents died.
And so started a wonderful relationship between the latest set of Heart Mates in the Snape family.
Finished