I blame Tumblr for all of this. More will come if that's what ya'll want XO

Better Than Forever

"What could be better than forever I wonder? Surely nothing is better than the idea of everything? The chance at having it all? Oh but I'll tell you one thing that usurps the throne of eternity…It is here and now."

When she opened the door he could tell all of the anxiety she'd tried in vain to disguise was still very much present…if not more pronounced now that they were face to face. She drew in a breath and walked until she was on the other side of the dorm room and turned to him, crossing her arms. Damon wanted to smile or roll his eyes, anything to ease her out of whatever it was but he didn't have it in him anymore. All he wanted right now was the peace that came with the knowledge that she was home but they didn't even have that anymore. No, people like Damon Salvatore and Bonnie Bennett never got rest. They lived in the uphill struggle, it was their destiny. At least, that's what it felt like.

"You rang?" Damon said, his voice low and wary. She looked down at her feet, arms still crossed and then up at him. Inwardly he readied himself for anything and everything; even after it all he couldn't tell if she was gearing up to reprimand him or say the one thing that could bring him back from the edge.

"There's something…I need to, I," she drew in a sharp breath and huffed at her incoherency, "I got you something." Damon's brows lifted. He hadn't expected that.

"It obviously doesn't come with a ribbon and garish paper," he commented talking a few steps to close the space between them, "I've never seen someone this morose when bestowing gifts." She merely pressed her mouth into a thin line. A small feeling tapped against his chest there, a discomfort arising from the look in her eyes. Something wasn't right. "Come on then…" he tried to keep his voice light, "Hand it over." She gave him a measured gaze.

"I have to ask you something first." Bonnie said, taking a step closer to him, "Just to make sure."

"Shoot." He said, they within an arm's reach of one another. She nodded and became pensive, staring at everything in the room except him…until. "Bonnie."

"I know we spent some time together and you told me a thousand things and –"

"Yes Bonnie, I was there, out with it." She shot him a dark look.

"Do you still want to be a vampire?" She blurted and he felt himself slow as his brain turned in on itself. She looked suddenly alarmed at whatever it was she saw in his eyes then. "I know you said you didn't ever want to talk about it again but I just…I want to know."

"Why?" Was all he could muster.

"Just answer me…please." He looked at her then, long and hard and it felt like whole conversations drew themselves up in his mind and fell away. Accusations and prayers, arguments and laughter. He really wanted to go back to when she didn't care, when she didn't know, when she didn't want to know or care. But more than that he was horrified of once again being honest with someone who wasn't him. Someone who wouldn't take the truths he had and discard them for superficialities like he'd done for so long in his feeble efforts to 'survive'. He blinked a few times and took in the colour of her eyes. This was Bonnie, he trusted her.

"Elena and I spoke about it actually," Damon heard himself say, "She only loves me because she's a vampire, and I …I."

"What do you want to be Damon?" Bonnie prompted him carefully. He turned a little bit then, her eyes were too probing. Through his periphery he saw her tilt her head towards him, her face an open-armed invitation.

"Human." He whispered. "I started wondering," he moved to sit at the edge of her bed, he knew it was hers, it reeked of Bennett. "What if it's the same for me, you know? What if I wanted a different love as a human? What if it wasn't Elena for me if ever I could have a beating heart again?" The bed dipped slightly from the weight of the near weightless witch. Bonnie hummed thoughtfully, her eyes following dancing dust motes as they glittering in the vivid sunlight. Damon's eyes locked onto her profile as he watched the gears in her head turn. "Do I want to risk that?"

"Well," Bonnie said, and he heard her heartbeat dip and thrum and she breathed, when her eyes met his, the beat sped and he wanted to know why. "Do you?"

"Bonnie what is this about? If this is about some spell you've found I don't, I mean, you're not, I don't want you risking yourself, I –"

"It's a simple question Damon."

"You got my mom back, you sent me home when we were stuck in Hell. I can't –"

"Just answer the question please." Her voice was so soft as it surrounded his one true desire.

"…More than anything." Was his eventual answer. She looked at him then and he could see his own longing reflected in hers, dusted with the infamous Bennett affection and loyalty. She'd go to the ends of the earth for the people she cared for, ask anyone because she already had. She started to smile and it fuelled his trepidation, his growing anxiousness and an ever increasing excitement. He gave her a confused look but couldn't help the small smile that curved his mouth despite his painful admission. "What?"

"Do you trust me?" She asked and he bulged his eyes and she narrowed hers.

"Of course I do Bon-Bon, now tell me what this is all about before I assume you're having another episode and just wanted someone to keep you company." She snorted half-heartedly.

"I have a cure." She said and Damon quirked an eyebrow. "A vampire cure, from 1994."

He opened and closed his mouth a few times and gawked at her.

"I want you to have it but on one condition." She could have anything, the world, Heaven, Hell, anything she wanted it was hers.

"What?" He wondered.

"That you use it for you and you alone if you decide to use it at all." The emerald of her eyes hardened to a sharp crystal set of orbs, like she could leave in slivers if she kept looking at him like that. "Promise me."

"I," was this happening? "I promise."

"Good." Her smile was radiant. She held up a palm between them and out of nowhere the cure appeared in the middle of her hand. Damon simply stared. In another flash it was gone.

"Where'd it go?" He stammered, blinking up at her.

"It's yours whenever you want it." She said and he frowned.

"I want it." She laughed, soft as a breath.

"Let me rephrase that," she leaned in a little, "It's yours when you're ready to take it." Too many things were running through his head at once for him to really process any of it.

"Bonnie…I –"

"Ssh." she patted his knee and stood up and walked to her dresser to pull out a coat and grab her purse. "No need for any of that." He stood up and a gush of wind washed over Bonnie and her eyes crinkled at the corners as she tried to reign in her smile when she turned to him. She expected elation or some snark…Just not this bare faced awe she was met with.

"What's wrong?" She asked and he moved away from her like he'd been in a daze.

"Why are you so good to me?" He whispered and she looked at him curiously, slightly offended too.

"Am I not allowed to care about you anymore?" She countered and he gave her a look.

"You're a renowned lifesaver, I get that, but I don't want you to…bend over backwards for me, that's not what friendship is to me, it's mutual and equal and I won't be able to keep up with you if you keep doing stuff like this."

"Stuff like what."

"Saving my life, giving me hope, bringing me my mother, keeping the cure…for me."

"Wouldn't you do the same for me?"

"If I could I wouldn't hesitate." She smiled warmly up at him.

"Then what difference does it make?" His expression was displeased as he volleyed between shock, gratitude and hesitation at Bonnie's ever present willingness to do and be anything the people she surrounded herself with needed.

"It matters to me." He mumbled after a while and she frowned.

"Something's wrong." She said. He exhaled at length and nodded before clapping his hands together loudly and jerking them both of out of another profound exchange, he'd had his fill. He still had too much to process.

"We're going to The Grille." He announced and she laughed while she shook her head.

"No, no, I promised –"

"Don't care." He cut her off and tugged at her elbow until they were out of the door. "We both need some down time, besides, we haven't had a celebratory drink as yet."

"That is true." He was all smiles then.

"Bourbon it is." He said gleefully as they approached his Camaro.

"Can I drive?" He automatically spluttered, "You realise I've driven it a bunch of times already, right?"

"Not in this era you haven't." He quipped, moving the keys out of her reach, grinning when she huffed petulantly.

"Come on Damon, consider it a welcome home gift." She batted her eyes at him and he rolled his in return, tossing the keys her way. She squealed happily as he jogged over to the passenger door.

"I'm regretting this already."

"Nah," Bonnie said as they got in and she started up the engine, "You love it."