A/N: Ok, this is my first official fanfic. I don't have a beta yet, anyone willing to do this for me would be greatly appreciated. I'm putting this up to see if there's an interest in this concept. Though there will be some Pam/Sookie, it will change eventually.

Being my first story, I'd appreciate any comments, suggestions or critiques.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my own filthy mind J

Enjoy!

Un-fucking-believable!

I can't believe she would do this to me. She never asked me. Never mentioned, 'Hey, I think I might like to turn you into a vampire.' I swear, to all that is holy, I am going to stake that bitch when I figure out which way is up.

Even as a vampire, buried in dirt, I can't see a freakin' thing. I can hear her cackling above me. Great, she thinks this is funny! "Pam! This shit is soooo not funny. Get your ass over here and help me out. And don't even think I am still your friend."

"Oh, Sookie. Is that any way to greet your master? C'mon, just start clawing and pull yourself up." She sounds as bored as the day I met her.

Flashback

Browsing through Pam's, a women's clothing store in Monroe, I could hear a woman behind me, arguing with the apparent owner about the construction of the apparel.

"Really, these dresses are ridiculously flimsy! You can't even sit down in them. Look how the seam literally busted wide open." The robust redhead thrust the over-exerted material in the blonde's face. The blond, clearly a vampire, leaning casually to one side while examining her perpetual manicure. She looked as though she was ready to stake herself just to add a little excitement to her life… erm, death?

"Ma'am," I had never heard that word filled with so much bile it could choke a horse. "Perhaps, if your wide ass had not spread the material beyond its stretching capabilities, we would not be in this predicament." Oooh, this is gonna be interesting.

"Well... I never…" Fatty began but was quickly cut off by an unamused vamp.

"That's right! You never. You never thought that the sizes applied to you. You never thought that 'what you pay for is what you get.' You want tents and awnings, check the hardware store. This," a dramatic wave of her hand, "is a ladies clothing store. So, scat!" The vampire waved her hands in front the woman as though she were shooing a cat or mouse. I guess, in her case, she was.

After the, very angry, redhead shuffled out of the store in a huff, the blonde turned to find me, not five feet away, staring. "Can I help you with something? Or do you think standing there, slack-jawed, is the best way to calm an irritated vampire?"

Ok, mental check- mouth… not open, eyes… staring, but not gaping. Good, she's just being sarcastic and not observant.

Clearly, my mouth didn't understand that there was a predator a mere two arm-lengths away, "Just admiring the wonderful customer service this establishment offers."

Yep. I'm dead. Well, I had a good run. 25 years and accomplished very little.

Her piercing blue eyes were burrowing into my soul and at any moment, my limbs would be the newest window display.

Hmm… I'm thinking something abstract, perhaps, Picasso-esque.

"Well, never knew a breather could be so entertaining." If it weren't for the smirk creeping across her face, I'd have assumed she meant 'dinner-theatre' style entertainment.

She moved towards me languidly, like a cat in a steel, pencil skirt and low-cut, tailored blazer. Her thin pale fingers grasped my hand firmly yet gracefully. She brought my hand to her mouth and for a moment, I thought she was going to kiss my hand. Strange thing for a woman to do, even if she is a vamp.

As my hand approached her mouth, she parted her delicately plump lips and… inhaled? Did she seriously just smell me?

"Quite the delicious little morsel, aren't we?" Something mischievous was dancing across those eyes.

As inconspicuously as I could, I extricated my hand from her grasp. Easier said than done. "I never really thought so." Wow! Way to go Stackhouse. Did we take Terrified Dialogue 101? I could feel the fear oozing from my pores.

"Oh, come now. Don't be scared. I was merely identifying you as friend or foe." Or dinner. "My name is Pam, obviously. And you, my sensual little flower, what is your name?" Good Lord, I went from being dinner to being dessert. Sorry lady, you're not my type.

"Oh, look at the time. I better go see if my boyfriend is here to pick me up." Just as I was about to make my get away, a cold palm placed on my forearm halted my movement.

"My goodness, you are jumpy. Seriously, honey, if I wanted some, I could get it without trying. You don't have to pull the imaginary boyfriend card out." Pam was chuckling when she said this which eased my nerves, a little.

"How'd you … never mind. My name is Sookie Stackhouse, it's a pleasure to meet you Pam." Gran would be so pleased, God rest her soul.