Sebastian stood beside the bed of his master, the master he had dedicated these years to serving. This mere weak mortal boy he had watched grow from a child to nearly an adult. He looked at the sixteen year old boy's sleeping face, he only looked peaceful in these moments; these moments were fleeting. A common urge came over the demon, an urge to caress his master's cheek, to feel his warm skin. He longed to hold him, to hold his master in his arms. Their contract was still there, keeping him strongly bonded to this mere human; yet over time things had changed. The blood shed came less and less, there were less targets of the young man's revenge. The demon had to confess he was mildly bored not having much to do with his time other than the chores of a common servant, this was not what he had been summoned to the mortal world for. He had been summoned as a sword, a shield, and a weapon for this man; for this man who had just a few years ago been a frightened child locked inside of a cage waiting to be freed. He was so far from freedom, it was nearly funny how humans worked; they craved the feeling of freedom and somehow by making Faustian contracts with demons they felt they were achieving this longed for freedom. In the beginning he had considered turning down Ciel Phantomhive's offer, such a young boy to make such a drastic sacrifice; all in the name of revenge. In the beginning Sebastian had despised the boy, despised his smug attitude, his coldness, and his pure arrogance. Over time he learned to tolerate it, tolerance turned to enjoyment, and well...
He longed to run his fingers through the younger man's hair. He longed for him, but he could never have him; yes the demon had grown bored with time, that was not the reason he needed to depart though. There had always been something deep within himself; something he hadn't felt for many years now, a feeling he had not missed in the least. A feeling only this damned mortal could bring him, so many times through the years had he felt this for his young master. So many years he hid the feeling he despised behind shields of cruelty and sarcastic remarks, distancing was a way to kill a feeling such as this one. So wrong was he to believe such a foolish mortal lie, a lie brought on by a cruel mortal feeling. These recent days of boredom allowed this feeling to fully blossom to the point he feared he could not keep it hidden for much longer.
There was no way to break their contract and he would never dream of doing such a moronic thing. Yet he couldn't stay here, not for now; he needed time away from his master, he needed time to try and forget about this foolish and damned feeling. To forget this damned aching in his chest and the lustful longing thoughts plaguing his mind during his days filled with nearly nothing to do other than to play butler.
He longed for this mortal man, oh what a dangerous game to play; such a one sided game, purely one sided. To love a human, to love a soul he was meant to devour, and oh how he meant to keep that promise. He would devour Ciel Phantomhive's soul, but the time was not here yet; he wasn't ready to call it not just yet, he wondered just how much misery he could bring upon his master and himself by prolonging this dance.
"Oh what you have done to me, a foolish mortal tricking a demon into loving him." Sebastian whispered.
The younger man didn't even stir, he remained deeply asleep. He had grown to be such a beautiful man, he looked so near like the paintings Sebastian had seen of Vincent the previous head of the household. He wondered if to some extent it pained Ciel to look in the mirror and realize he resembled his deceased father so strongly, pained him as much as it pained the demon to look at him every day and to realize how truly he loved him.
A demon loving a human, what a foolish turn of events this was.
He would leave, he wasn't sure for how long, but he would return. He would not return if Ciel called for him, no matter how much the mortal man begged; Sebastian would only return when he felt the time was right. He knew this stretched the limits of their contract, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd leave his master all alone.
"Foolish" He whispered chastising himself.
With one last look at his master he turned and left the room. He left the manor in silence, fading into the darkness of the night. Yes he would return, but only when he felt he conquered this dreaded feeling.