I don't own Bleach or High School DxD

Chapter 1: God Dammit Yammy!

Karakura Town is the hometown of Ichigo Kurosaki, the self-dubbed Protector of the town. It is a small city with an average-sized population, most of which is unaware of the ghosts and spiritual pressures that exist there. Currently in Karakura Town, Ichigo Kurosaki zanpakuto, Zangetsu, is blocking a rather large tanned skin man's hand using the tip of the cleaver. Behind Ichigo Kurosaki appears to be a girl with orange hair and a curvy figure for a teenager, she's currently wearing a school uniform. Another individual who is much smaller compared to the larger man and much paler than him, is merely watching the events being unfold with a bored expression on face.

'Orange hair, giant cleaver, a decent amount of reiatsu, and a permeant scowl' Ulquiorra analyze 'Ichigo Kurosaki, our target that Aizen wanted us to find. The boy doesn't seem like a threat at all, he may be stronger than the average Shinigami but he's still just trash.'

"Kurosaki-kun…" Orihime said, with a scared and yet relieved look.

"Sorry. I'm late Inoue" Ichigo said.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kurosaki-kun. If only I… I was stronger…" Orihime said sadly.

"Please don't apologize, Inoue, don't worry about it" Ichigo said looking down on the ground for a second before looking back up at the two mysteries enemies, with a fierce determined look on face. "I'll defeat these guys and then…It'll be all be over!" Ichigo said.

The human than placed his hand over his other one that was wielding Zangetsu.

"Bankai!" Ichigo announces.

A large torrent of reiastu suddenly bursts out of Ichigo and just like how it arrived is suddenly faded away. When the dust was gone Ichigo Kurosaki appearance changed.

"Tensa Zangetsu" Ichigo said.

"Did you say Bankai?!" Yammy said, while scratching his head. "Hey, Ulquiorra! Is he the guy?" Yammy questioned.

'Idiot…' Ulquiorra thought.

"Yes. Who would have thought that you flailing about could smoke him out so easily? Orange hair, black Bankai… There's no mistaking it. This is our target, Yammy" Ulquiorra said, deciding on explaining to Yammy his thoughts since his partner isn't one of the most…brightest of Arrancar.

"So he saved us the trouble of looking for him! I'm lucky!" Yammy said, with a shit eating grin.

The brute tried to punch the puny boy, but was easily blocked by Ichigo.

"Are you the one who did that to Chad's right arm?" Ichigo questioned, having a stern glare towards Yammy.

'This kid thinks he's all tough, huh?' Yammy thought amusedly.

"What about it?" Yammy said.

The scowling boy simply leaped over the brute and landed behind him. Once Ichigo landed one of Yammy arms were sliced cleaned off. The giant's reaction was indeed priceless, grabbing what's left of his arm and screaming about his missing body part.

'The fool… He went at him without even evaluating his opponent's strength. This is why I told him he should work on his investigative powers.' Ulquiorra having a blank poker face while thinking. 'But that brat… To think that he cut through Yammy's steel skin and cleaved off his arm just like that. I heard that he just recently obtained Bankai, yet his reiastu is so tempered.'

Watching the one sided battle, Ulquiorra continued his evaluation.

'However, at this level, I don't think he represents much of a threat to Aizen-sama' finishing his thoughts.

"Damn you, you brat!" Yammy shouted.

"You can still stand up? You're just as tough as you appear." Ichigo said.

"You're having quite a time there, aren't you? Do you want me to fight him for you?" Ulquiorra half tauntingly asked.

"Shut up!" Yammy said pissed off, as usual. Grabbing his Zanpakuto and was about to pull it when the emotionless man taunted once again.

"Are you going to use your Zanpakuto on a runt like this?" Ulquiorra mocked, with zero emotion on his face.

"I told you to shut up!" Yammy howled.

Yammy once again started to pull out his Zanpakuto, but stopped when he noticed the brat dropping his guard and covering his face with a hand. Yammy gathered that the little shit was asking for a can of whoop ass. The brute being a gentleman decided on humoring the human. The giant kicked Ichigo making him spit out some saliva.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime yelled worriedly.

"Stay back, Inoue!" Ichigo yelled before being smashed to the ground.

The battle hungry giant saw the other girl running towards the runt. Without a second of hesitation he backhanded the teenager.

'Damn I am amazing!' Yammy thought happily.

"Inoue!" the human screamed.

"Shut up!" Yammy said, with a new reformed shit eating grin.

The giant than began to beat the living crap out of Karakura Town's Protector. He grabbed a puff of orange hair before it could fall down.

"I don't know what's going on, but he's suddenly stopped moving!" the giant shout.

'That's strange. All of a sudden that brat's reiastu started fluctuating. However, it's not fluctuating that widely. When his reiatsu is low, it's inconsequential. But when it's high, it's greater than mine. What's going on here?' Ulquiorra thought, showing the slightest amount of intrigue mixed with confusion.

"It's over brat, I'm going to crush you!" Yammy said slamming fist to Ichigo beaten up body. Luckily for the human his fist was blocked by some kind of red shield.

"Hello. Sorry that I'm so late, Kurosaki-san" Urahara said joyfully.

'The hell?' the giant thought confusingly.

"People just keep popping up and getting in the way! Butting in like this means you want me to kill first, right?" Yammy questioned while preparing for a punch and fired. Only to be countered by a woman with purple hair like he was nothing.

"Take care of him" Yoruichi said.

"Sure thing" Kisuke replied.

Giving a small tied up bag to her before vanishing, avoiding Yammy's fist of justice. Yoruichi immediately began to beat up the poor stupid giant, till he dropped to the ground. Ulquiorra who watched his partner got his ass kicked and continue to watch the woman walk towards the orange haired girl, didn't bother to do anything but just watch. Ulquiorra saw that Yammy stood up and started to make his way to the Shunpo master.

'Well this'll end well…' Ulquiorra thought.

"You're a poor loser, aren't you?" Yoruichi questioned. Her reply was a doom blast to the face.

"Hahahahaha, take that! They were blown to bits! There's no way she could have dodged my Cero at this distance." Yammy boasted.

His happiness ended though when he saw both of his targets still alive and the blondie in front of them.

"Who are you? What did you do?! How were you able to do that to my Cero?" Yammy asked shocked.

'My god can't this idiot be anymore stupid? Can he not see that these two are on a whole new level compared to the other trash?' Ulquiorra thought still having a poker face even though this thought would make someone face palm.

"It's just as you saw it, it would have been dangerous for everyone around me if I simply repelled it, and so I just negated it by hitting it with a similar attack." Urahara explained.

"What did you say?" Yammy still questioned.

Ulquiorra sighed a little after hearing Yammy unnecessary idiotic question.

"How about I show it you again if you don't believe me?" the shopkeeper said. "Sing, Benihime!"

'Seems like I'll have to step in.' Ulquiorra thought before using a Sonido to appear in front of Yammy, reflecting the red beam lazily.

"Ulquiorra…" Yammy happily said.

Before Yammy could say anymore, the pale Arrancar smacked his hand towards Yammy chest causing the giant to step back a bit and kneeling down.

"What are you doing?!" the idiot asked.

"You idiot. You're getting in over your head. These guys are Urahara Kisuke and Shihouin Yoruichi. At your current level, you wouldn't be able to defeat them." Ulquiorra said while walking towards and passed Yammy. "We're leaving" creating a Garganta with a flick of his fingers.

"Trying to run away?" Yoruichi said.

"Such provocation is unlike you. It's obvious who has the advantage… when the two of you are trying to protect that worthless trash while fighting against us at the same time. I've completed the mission assigned to me. I'm going to report in to Aizen-sama. I'm going to tell him that the Shinigami he had his eyes set on is trash that isn't even worth killing." Ulquiorra finishing his little speech by jabbing at the orange haired teen one last time, and with that final insult the Garganta closed up.

Both Arrancars walked down the reiastu path, making their way to the exit which will bring them to Las Noches.

"Ulquiorra, my arm still hurts." Yammy complained.

He simply ignored the brute. Maybe the giant will understand the silent treatment and keep his mouth shut.

"Hey Ulquiorra you think we'll go on another mission? I really want to kill those weaklings. Especially that ninja woman!" Yammy said.

'He wants to the fight Yoruichi… Even though the battle, if that's what it's called, ended in a matter of seconds. I'm sure if Urahara Kisuke didn't jump in than Shihouin Yoruichi presumptively would have done something against Yammy Cero' Ulquiorra thought.

"Ulquiorra!" Yammy said attempting to get Ulquiorra attention.

…

"Ulquiorra!" Yammy again trying to get his partner's attention.

…

"Ulquiorra, look at this!" Yammy said pointing at the blackness below the reiastu pathway.

Deciding on humoring the brute Ulquiorra looked down. Seeing how there's nothing out of the unusual.

"Yammy, what is there to point out?" Ulquiorra questioned.

"Oh nothing I just wanted you not to ignore me" the brute said.

Ulquiorra kept his mouth shut and went back to walking at a calmingly nice pace. Yammy seeing how he's being ignored again tried to get Ulquiorra attention a different way. The towering man started nudging Ulquiorra. Still no reply, but Yammy didn't gave up he then started to shake Ulquiorra.

'Ignore the idiot until we're back, give your report to Aizen-sama, and then lock yourself in your room for the rest of the day' Ulquiorra silently thought.

Yammy, having a terrible case of bad luck somehow tripped on the reiastu path while he was pushing Ulquiorra. This caused Yammy mass form to fall on top of Ulquiorra making him fall off too. Ulquiorra attempted to grab onto the spiritual made path, but couldn't since the moment both Espada fell off the path it already started to vanish. As they fall into the emptiness only one thought went through Ulquiorra's head, simple and yet an acceptable thought to anyone who was partnered up with Yammy.

'God dammit Yammy…'

Author Note Update: Welcome to my second story made, yay! This idea of mine been nagging me for a while. What if by some chance Yammy did something stupid causing both Ulquiorra and himself to fall off the Garganta crossing over a different dimension never (or possibly) coming back to their ordinal universe. My first idea was to send them to the One Piece universe, but the idea somehow bored me. One Piece is a fantastic anime and the fanfictions on it are amusing but well I don't know it's just the thought of Ulquiorra and Yammy being there seems...odd? So I decided in changing the crossover to High School DxD, for now. Sorry if I disappointed anyone.

Anyways go ahead and review, tell me if I did well, flame like no tomorrow if I deserve it (or not).