Kumbahyah
By ShinobiWolf
I would have liked to have a little less dialogue in proportion to paragraphs, but I think it's all right for a first chapter.
Chapter One: It Starts"Naruto! Behind you!"
Sakura's warning gave the young gennin ample reaction time to counter the enemy ninja behind him. The rogue ninja dodged Naruto's kunai and back-flipped to the ground. He whipped out a handful of shuriken and was about to throw them, when one of Sasuke's own pierced his wrist and rendered his throwing hand useless.
Copy ninja Kakashi watched the scene from a distant tree limb. His young students were progressing with their skills nicely. They'll have this mission wrapped up in no time. He casually flipped open a copy of Make Out Paradise
xxxxx
Kakashi strode along as Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were lagging behind. Actually, Naruto and Sakura showed the most fatigued, while Sasuke chose not to display his exhaustion as obviously.
Naruto's head perked up when he saw four familiar figures ahead of them on the road. "HEY KIBA!"
Sakura winced from the volume of Naruto's greeting. His body may be tired, but his mouth sure isn't.
"Dude, you look whipped. Did you just come back from a mission?" As always, Kiba had Akamaru perched atop the hood of his coat.
"Yeah, a C-Rank. I got to take down a rogue ninja…"
"You look like you worked really hard, Naruto-kun…" Hinata nervously played with her fingers as she addressed her crush. A majority of the village despised the golden-haired boy. Hinata did not understand why others had to be so cruel to him for no reason.
Yet still he continues to ignore the fact that Sasuke did most of the work… Kakashi sighed as Kurenai approached him.
"Are the plans still on for tomorrow?"
"Of course." The two teachers shared a knowing smirk.
xxxxx
Sakura cursed herself as she looked in the bathroom mirror. She may have had her beauty sleep, but her rose-colored hair sure as heck didn't look gorgeous. Why in the world would Kakashi-sensei call us to train at this inhuman hour? By the time he gets there I could have gotten another couple of hours of sleep. She lazily ran a brush through her hair and grabbed a quick breakfast on the way out.
It was like stepping into another world. The morning sun was just beginning to peek around the horizon, dusting every building in Konohagakure with soft yellow. Not even the birds had risen yet. Kakashi-sensei told the three of them to pack clothes and things, enough for a few days. Sakura eyed the heavy duffel bag resting on her hip. What could that flaky teacher possibly have up his sleeve this time?
She was further puzzled when she reached the training grounds.
All four rookie teams were present, each student with their own heavy bag of stuff. Sakura quickly found the rest of her team, and neither of them knew anymore about what was going on than she did. The other teams were milling about, their teachers not present. None of them knew what to expect that day.
Contrary to his usual sudden appearance, Kakashi was leisurely walking up the path to the training grounds, followed by the other three teachers.
The students were abuzz with questions.
"It's not an endurance run, is it?"
"We're learning a new special training exercise, aren't we, Gai-sensei!"
"Getting up this early was really troublesome…"
"Well, you're all partially right…" Kakashi scratched his chin.
"It's going to be really troublesome?" Kiba wondered.
"For you it will be…"
Kurenai knocked the silver-haired jounin upside the head. "Oh grow up, you numbskull."
"What my fellow colleagues are trying to say is, we're taking you-"
"ON A CAMPING TRIP!" Asuma was interrupted by Gai's spastic outburst. The crowd was elated, but Kakashi put an end to that.
"Oh yes, and you are all walking there. Four looong, excruciating miles…"
"Impossible! I can't carry all this luggage that far by myself!"
"Then you shouldn't have packed so much. Honestly, women are such a pain in the-"
"YOU'RE NO HELP!"
Shikamaru winced from Ino's loud shriek, then lazily lifted a finger to clear his now-deaf ear.
"DO NOT WORRY, GAI-SENSEI! I WILL NOT FAIL YOU!" Full of boundless energy as usual, Lee raced off. TenTen followed.
"Lee! Wait! The campsite is the other way!"
xxxxx
A few hours later, the aspiring ninja of Konohagakure were nearly finished with their journey. I am reminded of the movie scenes where a person is wandering exhausted and starved through a desert. The group was just done with lunch when Gai eagerly cried out from way ahead on the trail.
"Chins up, young ninja! The campsite is just over this next hill!
"That's what you said about the first hill! And the one after that, and the one after that, and the one after that!"
For once, no one silenced Naruto. Everyone was, for lack of a better word, pooped.
Gai was indeed telling the truth this time, much to the students' collective relief; most of them, anyway. Sasuke, Neji, and TenTen thought the walk was a good workout, but weren't nearly as expressive as Lee. The mini-me of Gai could have gone all day! Kiba could be seen whispering "thank-you, Lord!" over and over again.
Asuma pulled a clipboard out of his backpack and skimmed over the first page. "Okay teams, the tents only house two people, so we've split you into pairs using our MAD analytical skills…" Asuma had a brief flashback to their game of rock-paper-scissors. "The list reads as follows…"
Sakura and Ino blushed, each girl secretly hoping she would be paired with that dreamboat of a ninja, Uchiha Sasuke.
"As a safety precaution, each student will be paired with a member of the same sex."
"Drat…" Ino and Sakura whispered in unison, only heard by each other.
"You were hoping to get paired up with Sasuke-kun, weren't you? Geez Sakura, you're such a hussy."
"If I'm a hussy, I have no idea what to call you…"
"The first pair will be Naruto aaand…"
Please not me… Anyone but me… Sasuke hoped. Fervently.
"And Lee! Naruto and Lee will be in tent one."
"Aww, crap."
"Isn't this great? We're roommates! We can stay up late and swap scary stories!" Lee swept up his new roommate into an inhumane bear hug. Naruto couldn't object, of course, he couldn't breathe to begin with.
"In tent number two is Neji and Kiba."
Great, it's my stupid cousin's teammate. Note the sarcasm. Neji glared at Kiba.
Stupid Neji. He purposely hurt Hinata in the Chuunin Selection Exam. Kiba growled back.
"Tent number three, Chouji and Shikamaru."
"We didn't get split up, Shikamaru! This is great!"
"It sure is. We're probably the only tent that won't end up in disaster."
"Sasuke and Shino. Tent number four."
Sasuke glared.
Shino glared back. At least, I think he did… It's hard to tell anything with those sunglasses glued to his face.
"As far as girls go, Hinata and TenTen are in tent five while Sakura and Ino are in six."
Glares abounded, entirely on the last two girls' parts.
"But Sensei," TenTen questioned. "What about that big, luxurious tent off to the side?"
"Oh, that? That's our tent."
TenTen couldn't believe their teachers.
"After you get situated, a few of you will be picked to do the evening's chores."
All of the unpacking went fairly quickly, despite rampant dislike between roommates. Kurenai counted heads to make sure that everyone was present.
"We'll have to gather firewood and prepare food. Anyone not involved in these things will mosey about as they please. Naruto, Lee, and Shikamaru will gather firewood while the responsibility of dinner will be on Ino and Kiba's shoulders."
"This is such a pain in the butt." Shikamaru lagged behind the firewood-gathering group.
"Kurenai-sensei, Chouji is the best cook here. Why not have him help prepare dinner?"
Kurenai was about to answer, but Gai stepped in. "My good man, where is the challenge in that? The purpose of this trip is to train, spark new friendships, and learn new things! LEARN THE WAY OF THE CHEF, YOUNG WARRIOR! COOK TO YOUR BEATING HEART'S CONTENT!"
"Um, okay." Kiba and Ino casually gathered up what cooking implements and ingredients they thought they might need, and found a quiet place to brainstorm meal ideas until the firewood team got back. Gai said something about them being "anti-climatic."
"Soup is the easiest thing to make, so I guess we can make that."
Kiba unpacked a huge cook pot. "Have you ever made it before?"
"You throw a bunch of meat, vegetables, and noodles in a big pot of water and boil it. How hard can it be? We can at least get the stuff mixed together until we get a fire."
Kiba went down to the lake and half-filled the cook pot with water. He did not bother to make sure there was nothing "extra" in the water.
There's a lake at the campsite? Wow! I never noticed!
"Shouldn't we boil the water before we mix everything in?" Ino inquired.
"The germs will die off once we cook it; I know that much."
Ino opened a variety of canned vegetables and poured them into the water. "Now what do we do for the meat?"
Kiba held up a package of hot dogs and a rather suspicious-looking can. "Hot dogs, or spam?"
whine
"No, Akamaru, hot dogs aren't made from real dogs."
"The spam will probably be all right."
Kiba then proceeded to cut the spam into little cubes and dump them into the pot.
whine, whine
"You can't have spam. You know it gives you gas."
Okay, I didn't need to know that… "Hey Kiba." Ino pointed to something in the pot. "Is that lettuce?"
Kiba peered in. "Could be kelp. What's the difference? They're both green." Kiba scooped some of the concoction into a spoon and let Akamaru try it.
whine, bark
"It needs salt."
"Alright." Ino opened a canister of salt and started to carefully pour some in.
pop
The top of the canister came off, dumping all of its contents into the pot.
"Uh oh…" Ino gasped.
"I'll add some sugar, maybe that will balance the taste." Kiba opened a bag of sugar and poured a bit into the soup. The bag of sugar burst as well. "Well, that should be enough."
Ino rolled her eyes and sighed. "Whatever. What does it smell like?"
Kiba cautiously sniffed the inedible mixture. He plugged his nose while his eyes watered madly. "It smells like about fifty different kinds of butt."
xxxxx
"Are you sure you know where we're going?" Shikamaru asked Naruto. Why did I let him lead us again? Oh, yeah. It keeps him quiet.
"Shut up! I know where I'm going!"
Somewhat quiet.
"If you're going to deny my greatness, then the least you can do is pull your own weight!"
Shikamaru unfolded his crossed arms showed Naruto a tiny, rather sickly-looking twig. He then turned around to watch a little bird flitting around in the trees.
"One log! Carry one log and I'll be content!"
That bird was rather intriguing…
"HEY! PINEAPPLE-HEAD! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!" Naruto chucked a decent-sized log at Shikamaru's head. Either he didn't sense it coming, or the chuunin just didn't bother to block it. It's difficult to tell. Whatever way you pick, Shikamaru got clocked on the head a good one. Rubbing his head, he decided that disagreeing with Naruto further would only be more troublesome. He picked up the incriminating log and followed a ways behind the other two.
"Are you sure you can carry all that? It looks like you can't see…" Naruto eyed the expansive load of logs Lee had amassed on his arms.
"Fear not, dear roommate. This is only a test of my ninja skills! If I cannot carry this stack, then I will carry one twice as high!" Eager to finish the chore in record time, Lee began to run.
He did not get far. Lee collided with a tree and was knocked to the ground, with a few of the logs landing on his head in the process. And since Naruto was in the general vicinity, he got nailed on the head with a log as well.
"YOU! FOUL CREATURE! HOW DARE YOU KNOCK DOWN A PROUD NINJA OF KONOHAGAKURE!"
"Um, Lee, that's a tree." Shikamaru caught up to them.
"Oh, I see. I mean, I don't. It's really dark out here…"
Naruto pondered in a thinking position. "How long do you think we've been out here?"
"You tell us, Leader-Boy. And while you're at it, tell us where we are."
"WE'RE LOST! OH MERCIFUL HEAVEN! THE COYOTES WILL EAT OUR HEADS!"
"Oh, look, I see my tent." Shikamaru carried his lone log and twig back to the campsite. Lee gathered up all of the logs he dropped before announcing the trio's arrival to all the world.
The "soup" was now cooking, and giving off a rather strange scent. Maybe it tasted better than it smelled? Or looked, for that matter? Once it seemed to be done, Kiba and Ino served everyone up. They nodded to each other, proud of their teamwork.
Everyone just stared at their bowls. Kakashi fished his spoon around in his bowl and withdrew a long, slimy piece of kelp. "Here Gai, you can try it."