Natasha first found out about soulmates when she was eight. Her parents were buying her a new ballet dress. She had just gotten the lead in the upcoming recital. They told her to pick any color she wanted. That's when it happened.
Natasha was standing in front of a pale blue dress, with sparkling sequence around the neck and billowy skirt, watching it come to life. It became brighter, stealing the color of everything around it, until the world becoming dull and grey. Natasha squealed she grabbed the dress and clutched tight to her chest, desperate for it to be her. She thought it was magic. When she told her mother what happened, she learned she wasn't that far off.
"It is a sign, child. A clue. Sent from the heavens. It is called soulcolor. A clue to help you find your soulmate, your prince charming."
"Really?"
Her mother nodded. "Blue is the color of his heart."
"Does that mean he's sad?" Natasha asked "people say they're blue when they're sad."
Natasha smiled as her mother gently stroked the side of her face. "Only because he hasn't met you yet, my little darling," when Natasha pleaded to know more her mother laughed. "Well, blue is the color of peace. Which means that your prince is kind and loyal, and will be there for you no matter what."
"Mama?" Natasha paused as she looked at her ballet dress, the soulcolor shimmering as she ran her fingers over the fabric "do you think my soulmate loves dancing too?"
Her mother smiled. "Of course he will, my little darling."
"But how will I find him?"
"When the time is right, you will."
From that moment on, Natasha was in love with the color blue. She looked for it wherever she went, hoping for her prince charming to appear. She was especially vigil during her recitals, hopeful that her soulmate would see her on the stage, dancing in the dress the color of his soul. She never saw him But Natasha never lost hope. Then she was sent to Red Room.
It was a week after her parents had died. She was twice the age than all the others which meant she had to work twice as hard just to stay alive. The things they did to her. Handcuffing her to the bed. Feeding just enough to ward off starvation. Forcing her to kill the other girls. The Graduation Ceremony. It broke her. When she first got there, she hoped that her soulmate would find her, save her. But that dream died, along with all the others. Love, soulmates, they were all just fairytales meant for children. And Natasha wasn't a child anymore. She was a spy. A killer. A Black Widow.
After all her years with SHIELD, Natasha still struggled to break free of Red Room and the lessons they burned into her soul. What to do, what to think, what to feel. It took time, but eventually she was able to begin starting over. Clint was a big help with that. He knew what it was like to be haunted by your past. In many ways, he was like a brother to her. Which is why she was one of the first people on the helicarrier when Coulson said he was compromised. Natasha had no idea how many impossible things she would see that day. But the greatest of them all, had nothing to do with gods or aliens.
She was waiting to meet Coulson on the deck after bringing in Banner, looking out to the sea as she waited. That's when it happened. The water started glowing, its cool blue waves becoming brighter and more vibrant with every second, the beauty of it all making Natasha's heart stop. She hadn't seen anything like this since she was a little girl. The she felt it. A chill in the air, as if the temperature took a sudden drop. She turned around, and she saw him.
Natasha could hardly believe her eyes. He was glowing. The soulcolor shining throughout his entire body, bright and constant like a star. Natasha felt a shiver down her back as she looked into his eyes, a wave of icy cool washing over her, numbing the pain of all the horrors of Red Room. God, it felt incredible. But it was more than just physical. She felt calmer, her pulse slowing as her muscles eased. It was like all her worries had disappeared, washed away along with the pain. She wasn't worried about Clint, or Loki or even Red Room, the thought of her former agency coming for revenge haunting her ever since she joined SHIELD. It wasn't that Natasha didn't care; she just felt as if everything was going to be okay. She felt… safe. He made her feel safe. Natasha was certain she didn't know him, and yet, she felt as though she'd seen him before.
When Coulson introduced them, she finally understood why. "Captain Rogers, meet Agent Romanoff."
