Yes, as we all know, Snake and Raiden and Olga don't belong to me. But this
story belongs 100 percent to me, Chibi Chan. Thank you, and please keep
checking.
Snake: Okay, here's the deal: *looks around with shifty eyes* We use the kid as bait, to allow us to get a close look at Arsenal gear.
Olga: I like that. ^^
Raiden: What? *is confused* If Ocelot finds me, I'm gonna be tortured!
Snake: Well, there's another way you might get away with it…*scratches at a stubble of facial hair*
(Olga pulls something from a little pack she had with her)
*Raiden is shocked* Raiden: A skirt and a heart-patterned T-shirt? Are you nuts?
*Olga shrugs* Olga: It will be your disguise. *Suppresses a smirk* You'll divert the attention of the guards perfectly fine.
Snake: Matches with your face…*smiles*
*Raiden kicks Snake* Raiden: You are 40, have a beer-gut, and wanted to ask Emma out. You seriously think that I'm amusing?
Olga: Hide behind the crates and put it on. Now.
(Raiden slips behind stacked boxes and is changing into the feminine clothing)
Snake: *shouts, lighting a cigarette* No Skull suit!
Raiden: *from behind the crates* You mean I'll be naked?
Snake: Kid, kid, kid…*slaps his forehead* The skirt is up to your feet, long enough to cover your jewels!
(Several of Raiden's mumbles of confusion break the silence)
Raiden: How do you put this thing on?
Snake: Don't tell me YOU'VE never put on a skirt before…Back in '71, I had to infiltrate Outer Heaven wearing a ------. *looks around, puffing away at his smokes* (Olga's eyes fall on Snake in disbelief, and even Raiden peeks his head from the corner of the crates)
(A few minutes pass and Raiden emerges from behind his little hiding place)
Snake: O.o That's…odd. You have the skirt on, though. *is laughing, grabbing Raiden's Skull suit and flinging it over his shoulder*
Raiden: I can tie my hair back too. You have a scrunchie?
Olga: No…and you can't have your dogtags showing!
(Raiden undoes his dogtags from his neck and Olga ties his hair into a ponytail with the chain)
(Snake digs into his pockets and pulls out 2 chopsticks)
Raiden: Huh? Those are Emma's!
Snake: Meh, *shrugs* She was long dead anyway, and I thought you'd need them…*sticks it in Raiden's hair*
Raiden: Well, anything else?
Snake: I also have some of Rose's lipstick…*his grin widens*
Raiden: Oh no…I'd rather kiss a piece of crap then have her lipstick on my lips!
Snake: You want to get tortured??
Raiden: Well, no.
Snake: Then shaddap, and let me apply some of this. (Raiden winces as Snake places some on Raiden's lips)
Snake: Hey, it's not like I'm putting some antiseptic on your wound, or something! Pucker up for me!
Raiden: *is disgusted* No! And don't remind me of that injury you gave me.
Snake: Just a little flesh wound, nothing to cry about. *shrugs, tossing the lipstick aside*
Raiden: Yeah, if my rib is ripping through my muscle?
Snake: *shrugs again* Just a flesh wound.
(Olga watches in amusement, and then digs in her handy bag for two oranges.)
Olga: You men are like boys with toys. Always arguing. Here. *holds up two oranges*
(Raiden grabs them, and digs his nail into one, creating a nick in the orange's skin) (Olga and Snake's eyes bare upon him)
Raiden: What? I'm hungry!
Olga: Snake and I originally wanted to have one for ourselves, but you need it for your disguise.
Raiden: The heck? You never told me about this! BETRAYAL!!!
Snake: Too bad.
(Olga slips both oranges into Raiden's shirt)
Olga: Those are your breasts.
Raiden: This is unnerving. (Looks at them) God, they're heavy too. Wonder if they'll hold..
Snake: Quit whining, albino boy, just live with 'em. Frankly, I think you look pretty snazzy---
Olga: STOP DREAMING! *slaps Snake to end his trance*
Snake: No, really..
Raiden: Is that all? Can I go?
Snake: Not yet, kid. Now, you have to walk like a girl.
Raiden: What the hell?! Are you insane?!
Snake: DO IT! You know, that swishy walk...
Raiden: I don't...understand...
Snake: God, do I have to show you everything? (begins to walk in a feminin manner)
Raiden: (takes his camera from his wetsuit and takes pictures) Gotcha! (smiles) What will your fans think when they see how really "masculine" you are?
Snake: GRRRRRRR!
Olga: Stop arguing! Now boy, keep a constant look out to make sure your, um, "oranges" don't fall out. The guards will be suspicious, trust me.
Snake: (Playfully slaps Raiden on the back, causing an orange to fall out. Raiden catches it, and reapplies it in his shirt to where it belongs.) Knock 'em dead! I'll be waiting for you in the hangar after I get a glimpse of a safe path to Arsenal.
Raiden: And if I'm drugged?
Snake: Uh…you'll find your way. I'll talk to you later via Codec when I'm ready. MOVE IT!
(Snake and Olga disappear down the corridor)
More to come peeps, I'm sorry that this isn't really funny, but some days you just can't write.
Snake: Okay, here's the deal: *looks around with shifty eyes* We use the kid as bait, to allow us to get a close look at Arsenal gear.
Olga: I like that. ^^
Raiden: What? *is confused* If Ocelot finds me, I'm gonna be tortured!
Snake: Well, there's another way you might get away with it…*scratches at a stubble of facial hair*
(Olga pulls something from a little pack she had with her)
*Raiden is shocked* Raiden: A skirt and a heart-patterned T-shirt? Are you nuts?
*Olga shrugs* Olga: It will be your disguise. *Suppresses a smirk* You'll divert the attention of the guards perfectly fine.
Snake: Matches with your face…*smiles*
*Raiden kicks Snake* Raiden: You are 40, have a beer-gut, and wanted to ask Emma out. You seriously think that I'm amusing?
Olga: Hide behind the crates and put it on. Now.
(Raiden slips behind stacked boxes and is changing into the feminine clothing)
Snake: *shouts, lighting a cigarette* No Skull suit!
Raiden: *from behind the crates* You mean I'll be naked?
Snake: Kid, kid, kid…*slaps his forehead* The skirt is up to your feet, long enough to cover your jewels!
(Several of Raiden's mumbles of confusion break the silence)
Raiden: How do you put this thing on?
Snake: Don't tell me YOU'VE never put on a skirt before…Back in '71, I had to infiltrate Outer Heaven wearing a ------. *looks around, puffing away at his smokes* (Olga's eyes fall on Snake in disbelief, and even Raiden peeks his head from the corner of the crates)
(A few minutes pass and Raiden emerges from behind his little hiding place)
Snake: O.o That's…odd. You have the skirt on, though. *is laughing, grabbing Raiden's Skull suit and flinging it over his shoulder*
Raiden: I can tie my hair back too. You have a scrunchie?
Olga: No…and you can't have your dogtags showing!
(Raiden undoes his dogtags from his neck and Olga ties his hair into a ponytail with the chain)
(Snake digs into his pockets and pulls out 2 chopsticks)
Raiden: Huh? Those are Emma's!
Snake: Meh, *shrugs* She was long dead anyway, and I thought you'd need them…*sticks it in Raiden's hair*
Raiden: Well, anything else?
Snake: I also have some of Rose's lipstick…*his grin widens*
Raiden: Oh no…I'd rather kiss a piece of crap then have her lipstick on my lips!
Snake: You want to get tortured??
Raiden: Well, no.
Snake: Then shaddap, and let me apply some of this. (Raiden winces as Snake places some on Raiden's lips)
Snake: Hey, it's not like I'm putting some antiseptic on your wound, or something! Pucker up for me!
Raiden: *is disgusted* No! And don't remind me of that injury you gave me.
Snake: Just a little flesh wound, nothing to cry about. *shrugs, tossing the lipstick aside*
Raiden: Yeah, if my rib is ripping through my muscle?
Snake: *shrugs again* Just a flesh wound.
(Olga watches in amusement, and then digs in her handy bag for two oranges.)
Olga: You men are like boys with toys. Always arguing. Here. *holds up two oranges*
(Raiden grabs them, and digs his nail into one, creating a nick in the orange's skin) (Olga and Snake's eyes bare upon him)
Raiden: What? I'm hungry!
Olga: Snake and I originally wanted to have one for ourselves, but you need it for your disguise.
Raiden: The heck? You never told me about this! BETRAYAL!!!
Snake: Too bad.
(Olga slips both oranges into Raiden's shirt)
Olga: Those are your breasts.
Raiden: This is unnerving. (Looks at them) God, they're heavy too. Wonder if they'll hold..
Snake: Quit whining, albino boy, just live with 'em. Frankly, I think you look pretty snazzy---
Olga: STOP DREAMING! *slaps Snake to end his trance*
Snake: No, really..
Raiden: Is that all? Can I go?
Snake: Not yet, kid. Now, you have to walk like a girl.
Raiden: What the hell?! Are you insane?!
Snake: DO IT! You know, that swishy walk...
Raiden: I don't...understand...
Snake: God, do I have to show you everything? (begins to walk in a feminin manner)
Raiden: (takes his camera from his wetsuit and takes pictures) Gotcha! (smiles) What will your fans think when they see how really "masculine" you are?
Snake: GRRRRRRR!
Olga: Stop arguing! Now boy, keep a constant look out to make sure your, um, "oranges" don't fall out. The guards will be suspicious, trust me.
Snake: (Playfully slaps Raiden on the back, causing an orange to fall out. Raiden catches it, and reapplies it in his shirt to where it belongs.) Knock 'em dead! I'll be waiting for you in the hangar after I get a glimpse of a safe path to Arsenal.
Raiden: And if I'm drugged?
Snake: Uh…you'll find your way. I'll talk to you later via Codec when I'm ready. MOVE IT!
(Snake and Olga disappear down the corridor)
More to come peeps, I'm sorry that this isn't really funny, but some days you just can't write.