This is the beginning of my first fanfiction. Please let me know what you think! The chapters may be a little short at the beginning, but as I get the hang of it, they will get longer! WARNING: This is intended for mature readers only. Strong themes towards eating disorders, and abuse.

I do not own gossip girl or any of their characters!

Shit, it was happening again. Blair leaned over the toilet, dry-heaving, out of breath. She heaved one more time, and this time it was blood. Her body was trembling, and tears were falling off her face onto her blouse Why couldn't she just stop this? She stood up and walked over to the sink, and looked at herself in the mirror. "You're worthless," she said aloud to herself. "You'll never be good enough."

"Miss Blair, Mr. Chuck is here," Dorota yelled from downstairs.

"I'll be down in one minute," she yelled back, her voice cracking.

She heard footsteps on the stairs and quickly flushed the toilet, and began to wash her hands.

"Blair.. Are you okay?" Chuck stated as he walked into the bathroom, stepping in front of her.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. But I am not quite ready to leave yet." She quickly looked down. She was still in her Constance uniform, and there were dark tearstains on her white blouse.

"You don't look fine." Chuck said tenderly, putting a finger under her chin to lift her face so she was looking at him.

"I am! I just haven't gotten a chance to get ready yet. Okay?" She snapped back. She turned and walked out of the bedroom, and went into her closet. She pretended to look through her clothes as new tears began to form in her eyes.

"Blair, what you have laid out here is perfect," he picks up the little black dress that was laid out on her bed, and walks towards the closet.

Blair doesn't respond. A small sob accidentally escapes her mouth, and she crumples to the floor. Chuck puts down the dress and rushes over to her. He quickly puts his arm around her, and she buries her face into his chest.

"Blair, what is going on? Is there something we need to talk about?" Chuck says before placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I…I… " She begins sobbing hard, and Chuck tightens his grip around her.

"Shhh… Shhhh, it's okay Blair. You can tell me," he gently runs his hand through her hair, as he rubs circles on her back.

"I.. I'm in trouble.." she finally gets out. She pulls away from him, and coughs into her elbow. There must have been a little blood left in her throat, because it was now on her sleeve. She was feeling a little dizzy, so she put a hand on his arm to steady herself.

"Shit, Blair. What happened?"

Blair looks at him , sitting cross legged on the floor with her. She goes to speak, but the dizziness over comes her and she feels herself slip out of consciousness.

"Fuck!" Chuck stands up and quickly scoops Blair into his arms. He is shaking.

"Dorota! DOROTA!" Chuck yells.

"Yes Mr. Chu… Oh Miss Blair. Not again!" Dorota cries out as she reaches the top of the stairs.

"Call 911 for GOD'S SAKE, Dorota. JESUS." Chuck sits down on the steps, still holding Blair who remained unconscious. Come on Blair. Come on. I can't lose you. I love you. Please Blair. I LOVE YOU. A tear rolls down his face. He kisses her on lips, hoping and praying that she would wake up.

Sure enough, it worked. Blair slowly opened her eyes.

"Chuck?" Blair said weakly. He tightened his grip on her.

"Yes, Blair. I'm here." He whispered back.

"I'm in trouble, Chuck," she cried. Tears once again were forming in her eyes.

"Mr. Chuck? The ambulance here," Dorota said, knowing that Chuck wasn't listening.

"Blair, you are going to be okay. DOROTA. How long does it take to get a fucking ambulance." He yelled. Blair went tense in his arms.

"Mr. Chuck, I just said the ambulance here" and with that, the elevator dinged and in rushed the paramedics.

"Blair, it is going to be okay, I'll be right here the whole time," Chuck quietly said as they loaded Blair onto the gurney. He grabbed her hand, and she squeezed it.

Chuck continued to rub soothing circles on her hand during the elevator ride, but near the ground floor, her grip loosened, and Blair lost consciousness again.

TBC..