O hay there. D
Alright, so my forte is more than definitely not in writing fics. However, at like...3 in the morning today, I was randomly hit with inspiration. The kind where it's like BAMGTFOOUTOFBEDANDWRITETHISRIGHTGODDAMNNOW. SO I did. And it's for Crazy Little Feline, because she's written me soooo much stuff before and it's awesome. Also, she recently wrote me a Laven fic, which was just as angsty as this one is. It's really just a drabble more than anything, but...wtfever.
Disclaimer: don't own anything, DGM is Hoshino's.
Sometimes (always), Lavi has nightmares.
He wakes up in the middle of the night, and the second he does, Allen is there. He can't tell Allen about most of them, as half of them are not nightmares, they are truth (memories, history). And because of that, they're secrets, secrets for Lavi and only Lavi (Bookman Jr., really, because Lavi is just a persona, an appearance to be discarded and nothing more) to know of, to hold close inside his (useless, cold) heart.
Lavi is the one with theses constantly recurring nightmares, but it's really Allen who is scared the most by them, because of what they do to Lavi. He is unnerved and scared (something he doesn't feel often), because Lavi isn't supposed to be like this. Lavi is all bright colors and fire (warm) and strength, with a determination that none of his other nakama have. He isn't this dull, cold and shivering, whimpering mess that Allen can barely identify as someone he knows and respects.
As it turns out, Lavi isn't the only one with nightmares. In fact, Allen often awakes (when he is alone, always alone), from his own dreaming.
Most of them are untrue (everyone deaddeaddead).
Some of them are memories (Mana's love, Cross' disdain, the carnival dog).
One of them is truth: the knowledge that Lavi will one day (sooner than later) be leaving, and in doing so he'll make another wound in Allen's already mangled heart.
He pushes these thoughts to the back of his mind and does not bring them up with anyone else (never), not even Timcanpy. Instead, he forgets.
He remembers, though, when he is sitting with Lavi at some ungodly hour in the morning, his body wrapped around the older exorcist as he tries to reassure him (please, please make that fake heart beat slower, it's going too damn fast).
"It's okay," he tells him, a murmur against Lavi's ear. "I have nightmares, too."
When it is morning and Lavi is back to his wonderful, false self (just a lie), he doesn't mention the nights previous problems. Instead, he squeezes Allen's hand once in gratitude (thankyouthankyouthankyou.), and leaves his room, going to do his (their) job of being an exorcist.
Allen just smiled and nods, and wonders (hopes), thinks (wishful thinking), that maybe, someday, they'll be able to talk about their nightmares.
But until then, it's unpleasant dreaming. (alone)