Hello There! It's been a long time since I wrote anything, but I thought this couple needed more stories written so I decided to give it a try.

This is my first time writing about this fandom.

I hope you guys like it, and I appreciate all the costructive criticism you can give me.

I think this still needs some editing, but real life doesn't leave me with a lot of spare time...

Kim knows she has been acting somewhat cold and distant, she knows Adam notices it and is impatient to ask her the reason of the ever growing distance between them; but she can't seem to stop acting like that. She knows being shot wasn't her fault and she understands he doesn't care about the new scars, but she feels weird and uncomfortable in her own skin… She can't seem to find herself in the person that looks back at her in the mirror.

Her eyes never looked so dull, she never saw herself as scary or weak. But now she can't reconcile the girl that looks small and meek with bruises on her cheek and an arm she can't move quite right, she hates having to take pills for the pain, they make her feel sleepy, but knows that if she doesn't she will get grumpy and will end up fighting with Ruzek when he tells her something about taking care.

And now she wants to cry, he's been behaving so amazingly with her, so caring and sweet and she has been acting… kind of bitchy. She wants to be close to him, she really does but something inside her keeps her form reaching him. Dread fills her when he gets too close to her scars; when he kisses her neck and her shoulder she wonders if the difference between the smooth skin and the rough scar tissue bothers him, and she can't help to compare herself to the pictures she saw on his phone all that time ago of his sexy fiancée… she definitely doesn't feel sexy or attractive. But he wants her, she can feel it in the way he hugs her, and holds her close, in how every time he walks through the door after a long shift he kisses hard, leaving her breathless and she sees the hurt in his eyes every time she pushes him away when things start to escalate.

That's why today she is willing to try to get past it. It's early morning and he is still asleep, she gets up and goes to the kitchen to make breakfast, she doesn't go to the bathroom avoiding mirrors and anything that could ruin her good mood.

When he wakes up, he finds it weird she is not in bed and goes after the faint sounds in the kitchen. What he sees makes him smile, it's been too long since she looked happy and at peace. She is smiling faintly, her cheeks are flushed a rosy red, she still has bed-head, and her face looks flawless in the sunlight that filters through the window. She looked stunning.

"What is it?" she asked. She reached up and smoothed her hair and then looked down at her pajamas and then starts to laugh. She tilts her head back, exposing her throat and her laughter echoes through the walls.

Adam could only stare. He can't believe the vision in front of him.

"Oh, I'm a mess!" she snickers. "I know I look terrible Adam, you don't have to gawk at me that way!" she teases him. "I can't believe I didn't even think about fixing my hair!" She reaches up to smooth her disheveled hair.

Adam grabs her hands in his. "Don't," he said quietly. "Don't. You're perfect."

She stares up at him, her eyes wide and astounded. That morning they share breakfast in silence without the oppressive atmosphere that was a constant in the last few days. He leaves the apartment with a smile on his face and she feels good all day long knowing she was the one to put it there.

At night Adam arrives again with a smile and a lovely expression on his face that Kim could only interpret as hopefulness, and she swears to herself that she is going to act like normal Kim, the one he fell for.

They cook dinner together (something simple like pasta) and talk about Adam's day and the new case intelligence has. They laugh of Roman's complains of his temp partner while they wash the dishes… it's all very domestic and they are both glad they are regaining some sense of normalcy; they are very close and Adam can't help but stare into her eyes, he smiles and reaches to put some hair behind her ear.

When his gentle fingers softly brush against her skin, unexpected tears begin to burn in Kim's eyes. She stares up at him, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

"Are you crying?" Adam was confused when one hot tear escaped and trailed down his girlfriend's cheek. He swiped his thumb over it, wiping it away. "What's wrong?" He asks concerned.

"Nothing," she bowed her head and ran her hands over her face. She tried to move away, but he held her in place.

"Kim," he said quietly. "Why are you crying?"

She looked up into his face, nearly blinded by tears. Her shoulders moved up and down in a pitiful little shrug. "I just love you," she whispered unsteadily.

His worried eyes lightened a little. "I love you too," he doesn't understand why she was crying, although he was relieved to hear those words form her, it had been a long time coming, if fact this is just the third time she said the words, sure she answers you too when he tells her, but hearing the words is amazing. Suddenly she was looking at him with pain and a little bit of anger; he runs a hand over her hair before taking a step back.

"No, I …You don't get it!" she yelled fiercely. Furious, pent-up tears flooded her cheeks and for a moment, she couldn't find her voice. "I know I have been acting weird, but I can't help it" she said again when she could manage it. "I really love you! But I don't know how to… I can't look myself at the mirror, and then you… I just can't …don't know …." Her voice trailed away to nothing and she stood, tightly hugging herself, looking down at her feet as she sniffled and hiccupped on shaky sobs.

Adam stood there watching as the woman she loved broke down, the last thing he wanted was to see her in pain, but he knew this was necessary, she was finally letting go some of the things she kept close to her heart and were weighting her down.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I'm going to …" Kim mumbled, trying to move past him.

He gripped her upper arms in his hands and pressed her up against the counter. Slowly, softly, he touched his lips to her forehead, her cheeks, and then her lips.

That gentle kiss shocked them both "Kim" Adam sighed her name against her mouth. He felt her lips part beneath his, inviting him to give her more.

She whimpers when their tongues met in an eager greeting. She grabs fistfuls of his shirt in her hands as he puts his arms around her hips, pulling her against his body. And Kim just forgets about everything, the only important thing is the feel of him against her.

He groans as she was traces wet kisses down his neck. When she bits the juncture of his shoulder all thought of going slow disappears form his mind and he lifts her off her feet, impatiently capturing her lips again as he staggers walking backwards, intent on getting to the bedroom as quickly as possible. In his haste however, he bumps against the island counter and sends a bowl crashing to the floor.

They both jolt at the loud clang. Gaping at each other open-mouthed "You okay?" he asked breathlessly.

Kim, who was still tangled around him, nods. "Could you put me down though?"

"Oh, sure. Sorry." He flashes a bright-eyed smile at her. Because this is so much like them, to get so involved in their passion that they forget their surroundings, so he takes her hand and thread his fingers through hers. Waiting patiently for her, but she hastily pulls away, red-faced.

"Oh, I'm such a mess." She tries to sound light-hearted, but instead she soundes nervous and embarrassed. Rubbing her hands over her cheeks, she sprints out of the kitchen. She felt like herself for a second, free and happy with him, but everything came crashing down the minute they stopped, he was looking her with such desire and she couldn't help but feel that as soon as their clothes were off he would be repulsed by the scars… which was just plain dumb, after all he had cleaned and changed her bandages every day.

Adam hears the slam of the bathroom door and slids down the wall until he hits the floor. He sits, knees drawn up to his chest, extremely confused as he tries to slow his thundering heart and understand what is happening through her mind.

Later that night, when they are both in bed he tries to pull her close to him. "Don't Adam," she says curtly when he wraps his arm around her. She is facing away from him.

"Are you okay?" he asks after a moment's silence.

"I'm fine."

He blinks the darkness, totally bewildered. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Adam!" she exclaims. Then, sighing, she asks, "Please go to sleep, all right?"

"Well, I want to make sure you're warm enough-," he tried.

"I'm warm enough," she snapped.

"Kim, I can feel you shivering!"

"I'll be fine! Don't touch me!" she shouts back at him.

"All right, do you want to tell me what I did? Because I'm a little lost right now!" he demands.

She sighs again. "You didn't do anything. Please just go to sleep."

"I won't until you tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong and that's the last thing I'll say about this. I'm going to sleep now, so goodnight."

"No, there is something wrong. I know you. Tell me what it is."

Silence.

Ruzek exhales in defeat. "Fine," he mumbles, turning his back to her. "I love you" he says over his shoulder.

"I love you too." When she spoke, he could hear the smile in her voice. That was something at least.

He lets out another long breath and tries to get comfortable. He was nervous, it had been around 15 days since she was released from the hospital, and he hoped that by now she knew he was there for her, that he wouldn't leave her to deal with the anxiety and pain alone, but things apparently were falling through the cracks, she runs hot and cold all the time, and he is clueless on how to act around her. He wanted her to know that he wanted her, especially now that he realized she was upset about her scars (how could she think he would be bothered by them?) but wanted to respect her space and not push her.

Adam was tiptoeing around her lately, not wanting to upset her in any way, but perhaps what she needed was not delicately handling, perhaps she did need a push. She needed to know without a doubt that he loved her, wanted and desired her just as she was… scars or not.

Maybe he needed to spell it out for her. Show her in a way that left no doubt.

I was not entirely sure on how to write them... I just hope this worked.

I'm working on a little follow up of this, and them patching up things.