"My god, Sayu! I know we aren't Chinese, but we're still Asian!" Yagami Light snapped at his younger sister irritably.
"B-but I think the name is funny!" Sayu exclaimed, pouting petulantly. Light scoffed at the face, considering he was the one to teach her to get what she wanted by charming her way (which by the way, Light was soooo much better at doing, able to make a completely straight man straight as a rainbow with his fabulous face) out of anything. "I like it!"
"It'll freak everyone out in public!"
"That's their problem!"
"It's our dog! It'll reflect on us!"
"I want the name!"
"For Ryuga Hideki's sake, we aren't naming the godforsaken puppy Dogmeat of all names!"
"I'll tell Mom that you have porn magazines in your room!" Sayu hissed, throatily.
"I don't have anything of the sort. I'm the good child here anyway." Light stated, deadpan. Sayu's face was spilt by a shit-eating grin, a mischievous gleam in her chocolate hued eyes.
"However, you are a healthy teenage boy, and I have several perverted guy friends who have some of those things, which I can simply hand over to Mom or Dad claiming to have found in your room andddd-"
At this point of time in her little speech, a weary Light promptly bent over to pat their new doggy on its fluffy head.
"Good little Dogmeat."
A year later:
The chestnut colored haired male sat dully, chained next to a strangely seated character, staring intently at the other.
Light felt shudders crawl up his spine like little monkeys as he felt as though he was being thoroughly mentally raped by L glaring furiously at him. Maybe he should just kick L in the groin, to make him stop. Maybe he should hurl the strawberry cake out of the window, or ask if his dentist was dead, or ask L he was flaming (like Light), or if his brainpower sucked up all the calories of his sweets, or did he believe that Sebastian and Ciel were totally gay for each other, or-
"Arf arf! Arf!"
Light turned around, sepia eyes open to comic proportions as he questioned what his ears heard. Were his ears hallucinating?
Yagami Soichiro stood in the doorway, grinning, holding that horrid dog that his sister loved.
"I brought a little surprise for you, Light!" His father said cheerfully, and set the dog down.
The creature immediately bounded towards the boy, not at all unlike that one mob at school on Valentine's Day, full of flaming men and females, horny, focused on him, hoping to make him go into cardiac arrest either with an overdose of chocolate, or possibly raping him.
Light shrieked in horror as it attempted to climb on him and he kicked it off, but it was like a tiny doggy android coming back again and again and again.
"Dogmeatttttttttt! UghhhhH!" A banshee-like screech escaped his mouth while his father laughed happily about how playful the two were, not noticing Light's terror, L looking on interested, absorbing the scene.
'Dogmeat?' L thought, furrowing his brow. 'Wasn't there that stereotype about Asians and eating dogs?' His nonexistent eyebrow arched curiously. 'Sounds like what Kira would name his dog. Percentage of Light-kun being Kira raised by 10 percent.'