I was your typical Irken smeet, I had attitude, wits, strength, and of course, my own personality. But unlike other Irkens, my personality did not include blind worship to the tallest, as a matter of fact, when when I was asked what I wanted to do when I grew up, my reply was 'I'm gonna use a knife to kill the tallest! It'll be fun!' That and I had blue eyes. Most Irkens had either red or purple eyes, a few with green, but that was it. I was one of a kind. The tallest, heedless of my warning as a smeet, trained me to be an Invader. I was given a space craft, and my own S.I.R unit. She had purple, almost orchid eyes. She wasn't very smart, even if she was 'advanced' as they say. I'm not sure how many planets I had taken over before I was sent to Earth. They said a defective Irken named Zim was sent there for banishment, and I was supposed to kill him. So with the help of my mental robot, the adventure began. This may be where most of my sanity left, for as soon as we left the surface of Irk, Witch, the name I had given my robot, began singing 'The Nyan cat song.' The song had one word to it, and it took six months to finish. Once we got there, I designed a disguise for both of us. My eye color didn't change, but I had pale white skin, long black hair, and a long sleeve black and white striped shirt, similar to my uniform, along with jeans and a pair of sneakers. Witch's disguise was supposed to be a cat, but looked more like a monster. Her legs, ears, and tail were black, and her body was a dark purple. It was ok, not very convincing, but Ok. Although, I did think the spiked collar and black leash was over the top.
The next morning, I was asked how old I was by a human in a black dress. I told her I was 13. She grabbed me and literally flew into a place called skool. I soon learned that human children attend skool to learn about Human society. The lady that dragged me there claimed to be my new teacher, Miss. Bitters. Miss, no wonder she's single! She's meaner than me! But she did help me by A) Teaching me about humans, and B) Zim was in that class. So basically she just did my mission for me. After about 2 hours of her saying Doom and how we we're all going to die in 2801 , the skool bell rang. Everyone got up and left, so I followed them. I noticed a Goth girl and a big headed boy sitting together at a table. The boy was staring intently at Zim, but the Goth chick seemed more interested in her video game than the former alien in disguise. I sat down next to them, not bothering to get whatever pathetic excuse for food the skool has to offer for lunch. 'Look at him Gaz, Zim's up to something, I just know it!' The boy ranted on and on about how someday, everyone would realize their mistake and praise him after he'd exposed Zim. The girl known as Gaz glared at the boy and snapped 'Dib, if you don't shut your mouth right now, I will send you into a nightmare world from which there is no waking.' Dib was silent for the rest of the meal. Smart kid. Apparently, after these kids ate, they ran around outside screaming. That was one thing I refused to do. So I simply sat down under a tree and began reading one of my favorite books, Yvette(Yeh-vet-a) . It was about a criminal named Yvette who did stupid things. In chapter 1 he robbed a video Camera store! He was such an idiot! Of course the whole book was written in Irken, so no human could read it without a translator, I still tried to keep it hidden. After that skool was dismissed. The only thing I learned that day was that Miss. Bitters never teaches you anything. I decided to follow Zim home, after all, I had to kill him, so in order to do that I needed to find out where he lived. After a few minutes I watched him turn and walk into a house with wires connected to the two houses beside it, it was purple and green and it seemed to glow. That should be easy to remember.
The next morning, I was running late because my dysfunctional SIR unit built a ray gun that could turn any object into cheese. She turned the whole house into cheese. So I had to reverse the effects of the ray gun and blast everything in my house, including Witch. Yeah, that's right; the little retard turned herself into cheese! When I walked in the door, Miss. Bitters glared at me. 'ZINK! You're 2 hours late!' I glared back. 'Sorry!' I snapped. 'My cat got ahold of a spray cheese can and got her fur all sticky. So I had to give her a bath.' The human, growled and said if it happens again, I would be sent to the underground classroom. And that I wouldn't be the first. That also wasn't the first time she had said that, so I figured I had nothing to worry about. But to my dismay, I did.
The next morning, Witch had ticked off some gangsters at the bar around the block, and they blamed me. Luckily I managed to scare them by taking off my disguise. And it took a while to brainwash them as well. So not only was I late, I was 3 hours late. 'ZINK! I warned you! Take your seat filthy child.' I walked to my seat. 'You're being transferred to the underground classroom!' She pushed a button on her desk, and before I could protest, I fell down a dark tunnel that seemed to go on forever.
Suddenly, I hit the floor. 'Ugh, what the-?' I got up and looked around. At first glance, you'd think you we're in an old attic. But if you look close enough, you could see stuffed animals strung around the floor, dusty carpet, and weird designs painted on the navy blue walls. On one wall, there was a sun, surrounded by clouds, on the other wall, there was a crescent moon surrounded by stars. I glanced upward to see if there was any way out, but all I saw were some old dolls hanging by a string. 'They must talk…' I wondered aloud. I walked up to one with long blond hair, and a torn up pink dress. It had buttons for eyes and nothing for a mouth. I gently lifted its string off the hook. With one hand on the string, and the other hand holding the doll, dropped the string and waited. I waited for a long time in dark silence until the doll spoke up. Its string went back inside as it said coldly 'You'll never get out alive' I put it down, a little disturbed the doll could comprehend my situation. I backed away slowly. Just then I stepped on something that was once a teddy bear. It was missing one eye, and it was covered in stiches. I looked around; I needed to get out of here. Just then I saw a wooden door with a rusty door knob. I eyed it curiously, and opened it. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. There were skeletons lying in a waterfall of red water, supposedly blood, ashes fell from the sky. As I walked, I noticed I was the only living thing there. That was until I noticed a black horse standing perfectly still, head lowered, right over a grave stone that read 'Be silent, a hellion sleeps beyond the gates.' I looked ahead and saw two rusty gates that looked more like it belonged in a cattle field rather than wherever that place was. On it there was a silver plaque that read; One gate only speaks lies. One gate leads the way home, but if you enter the wrong gate, you will be stuck here forever. You may ask one gate a question; enter the gate of truth to be taken home. 'How do you ask a gate a question?' I wondered aloud. Just then I noticed a screen above each gate that read Gate one and Gate two. 'So if gate one only speaks lies…' I had an idea. 'Gate one, do both gates lead the way to safety. The screen flashed black for a second then the word yes came on the screen. I smiled and walked through the gate that stayed silent. Gate one spoke the lie. I thought, Gate two didn't say anything! I laughed silently and continued on forward. I saw a light far ahead. I ran towards it as fast as I could only to be stopped by a pale white hand. It grabbed me and took me somewhere so fast I didn't see where we we're going or who grabbed me. Just then I heard a voice say 'Good job Zink, I didn't think you'd survive.' I knew that voice too well, it was that teacher lady. 'Neither did I.' I said absentmindedly. 'Get outa my sight child and enjoy your immortal life.' I admire that woman's choice of words, but how did she know I was immortal? 'You know?' I asked her, slightly fearful, slightly curious. She nodded. 'Of course, seeing that your disguise has fallen off, it's not that hard to tell. I wore a holographic disguise, so the bracelet that made me look human must have broken. 'Oh.' I blushed. I finally got a chance to observe my surroundings. I was back in the skool, and it was around midnight according to the classroom clock. 'I'm sorry for misbehaving. I guess' I said the last part too quietly for her to hear. 'Can I go home now?' I asked. 'I hope you learned your lesson out of all this Zink, and yes you may.' I grinned from ear to ear. 'Yes Miss Bitters, Don't let cats near cheese!' And before she had time to register what I had said, I flew out of the building like a hawk