Every Day
~Sequel to All That I'm Living For~
(Live or Die Series Part 2)
Chapter 1
It had been four years since Undertaker left and she could still hear his harsh words, feeling the pain shrouding her heart. There'd been no sign of him since then. It was like a fairytale happily ever crashing and burning into flames. More like a happily never after. Juliana Harrison stared out the window of her beach house in some unknown destination. Leaving after he did, she had to start over, wanting to be completely isolated from everyone and everything.
Tears poured down her face almost as hard as the rain currently falling outside, pounding her poor house into oblivion. No matter how hard she tried, Juliana couldn't forget him and sighed, running a hand through her short black hair. Her bangs were cut an angled style so they covered one eye, depending how she fashioned it, needing a major change after everything she'd been through. Her thoughts suddenly turned to her best friend, John Cena, and wondered how he was doing. She hadn't seen him in the past four years either.
In all honesty, Juliana missed John more than she was willing to admit. He could always make her laugh with just one joke and turn her bad mood into good, no matter the circumstances. He knew what she liked, what she didn't. The man knew her better than her own deceased parents, how muddled was that? Juliana sighed as she walked away from the window, wrapping her arms around herself, and slowly sank down on the bed, remembering the last time she saw John...
~!~
They were on their way to Undertaker's ranch in Texas to fix it up, wanting to sell it. Neither of them really preferred living near a graveyard that was sinking into the ground. It still unnerved both Juliana and John, so Undertaker agreed to sell it. They would find somewhere else to live, the three of them.
"John, will you hold it for TWO seconds longer?" She growled when she heard him whimpering about having to go to the bathroom, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Taker, pull over."
"Damn it." Undertaker snapped irritably. "Can't the boy hold it?"
"I really gotta go." John whined, crossing his legs and bouncing in the backseat of the truck.
"You just went, boy!"
"I gotta go again, I can't help it! Too much water! Jules, please?"
Undertaker groaned, slapping his face.
"If you don't want piss covered backseats, I suggest you pull over, sweetheart." Juliana said sweetly, batting her eyelashes, and giggled when Undertaker scowled in response. Poor John had a bladder problem, it was obvious. This was the fifth time they had to stop in less than three hours and they weren't even halfway to Texas yet!
Undertaker pulled over, sharply, obviously not amused. "Hurry the hell up." He ordered in a snarl.
John nodded, all but scrambling over him and Juliana to get out, moaning in relief moments later.
"That little fucker is pissing on my tires!"
"Where do you want me to go?"
"IN A FUCKING BUSH!"
"John, stop pissing on his tires before we leave your ass here!" Juliana shouted out the window, giggling more. Smirking when he obeyed, John ended up pissing the rest of the way on a nearby bush...or was it weeds? She didn't know and didn't care, leaning back against the seat, shaking her head. "You don't have to go?" She glanced at Undertaker, biting her bottom lip with amusement shining in her blue eyes.
"No, I'm good to go." He replied gruffly, flashing a quick smile.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, BOY?"
"Oh shit! I'm uh, springing a leak?"
"ON MY ROSE BUSH!"
"They're yellow anyway, they need the protein. Shit." John tried shaking himself. "I can't get it to stop! Hey, put that down!"
"Oh no..." Juliana groaned when she seen an old farmer raising his rake to beat John to a pulp, for relieving himself on his rose bush, and looked over at Undertaker, wondering what to do now. "Uh...should we leave him or stop that farmer from shoving the rake up his ass?"
"Nah let them go." Undertaker tilted his head back, adjusting his hat so it rested over his eyes and folded his arms behind his head, apparently settling in for a long wait.
John was doing a jerky sidestep dance, trying to quit peeing and avoid being beaten with the rake at the same time. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Ouch!"
"THEY. ARE. SUPPOSED. TO. BE. YELLOW." With every word the old farmer enunciated, the rake swung and hit the bastard in the arms and legs.
Juliana shook her head and stepped out of the vehicle, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Jonathan, get in this truck right now, pissy pants!" She ordered with a smirk, causing the old farmer to stare at her hardening, but it didn't faze her. "I'm so sorry about this. Usually he's polite." She apologized while John continued on with his business.
She couldn't believe she was stalling the old farmer, having a sinking feeling his rose bush would probably shrivel up and die. Not that it wouldn't anyway; the south was currently in a drought. Undertaker sighed heavily and glanced out the window, watching with an amused smirk as John continued his little dance.
"Shake and tuck already." He advised, snorting loudly.
John spun around, spraying the truck.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
The farmer nailed John with the rake again.
"Uh...RUN!"
Juliana finally shouted as she hopped back into the truck while the truck began slowly rolling away on the curb. Her eyes widened, staring in the rearview mirror, and watched the scene in sheer amusement. John was running with his pants halfway down, his ass hanging out, away from the angry old farmer. She couldn't help it and started laughing hard; holding her stomach, not believing what a buffoon her best friend could be at times. John leapt into the bed of the truck, hastily tucking himself in his jeans and zipped his pants up. He leaned back against the window, looking inside at a cackling Juliana.
"You're a prick." He stated heatedly, directing that at Undertaker.
"It's not my fault you can't hold it."
"How about you do it for me next time?"
Juliana just laughed harder and settled in for what was going to be an interesting and amusing trip to Undertaker's ranch.
~!~
Her eyes slowly opened and Juliana started laughing, remembering that moment like it was yesterday. She missed those times with the two arguing and bickering. Undertaker bested John most of the time, but John never gave up. She sighed sadly, staring down at the floor, remembering the fight her and John had that forced him to leave a few weeks after the safe house was sold.
~!~
John was thriving so to say. He missed his best friend, his adopted sister, every day and thought about her constantly, but didn't hold a grudge for her departure. She did what she felt she needed to do. Life went on. He buried his hands in the pockets of his brown bomber jacket, tilting his head down to keep the rain from falling in his eyes, just a nameless face among the millions in this city. Glancing up, once the rain had subsided, John spotted stars peeking through the clouds and smiled sadly, knowing it wouldn't last. City lights and smog would soon obscure them again.
"Miss ya kid." He murmured wistfully, heaving a sigh.
Arriving home from his late night walk, John scooped up his tabby cat, Ana, and put her on the countertop. He poured her a small bowl of cream while unpacking the brown paper bag of the few groceries he had bought. For some reason he couldn't get Juliana off his mind, or Undertaker. Their last night together still haunted him after all this time…
~!~
"Whoa, this place still creeps me the hell out."
"Why don't you go play in the graveyard?"
John shot Juliana a pained look. "He's a psycho, you know that right?"
"Yes John, I know he is, but I love him regardless." She replied as if talking to a five year old, sitting down at the table while they continued bickering. John hadn't been too keen on the idea of them being together and she didn't understand why. It was starting to grate on her nerves as she finally glared at him. "I need some air." She stormed outside on the back patio, trying to calm her temper down.
Undertaker looked at John and shook his head, glaring. "Let's just get this place fixed up and get the hell out of here." He said firmly.
"Do you have any idea how long that is going to take? This place sucks."
"That's it...I KNOW I left my gun here..."
John picked up a hammer and bolted.
"What do you want, John?" Juliana demanded when she heard his sneakers squeak against the patio behind her, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Come to give me another lecture on why I shouldn't be with Taker?" Try as she might, she couldn't keep the anger out of her voice.
"Nope. I'm going to keep my mouth shut and just work on this list." John replied, pulling out a paper from his back pocket and wrinkled his nose, glancing up at the porch roof then back at the list. "Juliana, I can't read this. Does it say repair shingles on PR?" He held it under her nose. "Cheer up kid."
"No because you've pissed me off." She sneered, slowly turning around to face him with cold midnight blue eyes only she possessed. "Do you have ANY idea how much you hurt me every time you make a crack about how I shouldn't be with him? Christ John, I fell in love okay? I'm in love with him and there's nothing you can SAY or DO to change that! So stop making those cracks and stop hurting me. You're supposed to be my best friend, but right now all you are is a jackass!"
"Jules, I'm sorry." John apologized softly, not realizing what he'd been doing until now. "He just creeps me out, he always has. I never know if I can really trust him or not, even after all he's done. Do you blame me?"
Undertaker was leaning in the doorway at this point, listening silently.
"And he's right behind me? Isn't he?" John visibly paled.
Juliana just shook her head disappointment, swallowing back tears. "Just leave me alone." She whispered heartbrokenly, running past him and Undertaker inside the house, needing some space.
She was angry because her best friend didn't trust her judgment. Truthfully, Juliana did blame John for not trusting Undertaker. Sure, the man did some things they didn't approve of, but he was ALWAYS there to protect them wasn't he? Didn't that count for something in John's closed mind?
"You know, instead of riding her ass all the damn time," Undertaker fulminated, stepping out onto the porch and closed the door shut behind him with an ominous slam. "You could come bitch at me. Your problem is with me, not her, so leave her the hell alone already."
"Yeah, well, like you listen to anyone? No, you don't. Thank you, now fuck off."
Undertaker promptly punched him.
John stumbled backwards, eyes narrowing, and then tackled the bigger man.
Juliana blinked when she heard fighting going on and immediately rushed back outside, having made it halfway up the stairs before backtracking her steps. She ran outside on the back porch and gasped at what she saw. John was on top of Undertaker, trying to hit him, but wasn't succeeding while Undertaker quickly gained the upper hand on the fight, dodging all of John's blows.
"Stop it both of you, stop it!" She shrieked, hot tears running down her cheeks, and tried to intervene by pulling on John's shoulder. "John stop it!"
"Jules!" John grunted, trying to avoid getting hit and not hit her at the same time. He wound up elbowing her in the jaw. "SHIT!"
Undertaker's green eyes shot fire and he literally tossed John off of him, sending the other man flying into the gravel driveway. Swiftly standing, Undertaker took her face in his strong hands gingerly, not wanting to hurt her further. John Cena was going to die by his hand, barely contained fury burning throughout his body.
"Let me see it." He ordered firmly.
Juliana pulled away from him, holding her jaw and quickly flew back inside the house, not believing her best friend just struck her.
~!~
"Damn Ana, I feel like I'm eighty years old. I've spent half the night standing here like a fool daydreaming about the past." John said, snapping out of his memories and chuckled, looking down at his now ice cold coffee. He smiled when she brushed against his legs, stooping down to pick up the cat and stroked behind the ears. "Damn I miss her."
~!~
She hadn't spoken to John since then. He left later on that night, leaving her a small note saying he was sorry and hoped she forgave him someday. Juliana sniffled, slowly pulling the note out of her nightstand drawer, and reread his heartfelt words. All was forgiven as she set it on her bed, her mind drifting to her and Undertaker's final fight before he walked out on her…
~!~
"Damn it, Jules, the little punk co-cocked you!"
Undertaker whirled away from the sink and tossed down the towel he had been wrapping ice in. He'd been hammering something outside to put on the house and, instead of hitting the nail, he whacked his thumb. His green eyes blazed with anger because he'd been distracted with thoughts of John. Not able to get the image of John elbowing Juliana in the face out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried. As soon as she asked him what happened, Undertaker snapped, not able to contain his rage and keep his mouth shut.
"If it'd of been me, you'd be cowering right now or you'd have taken off!"
"Damn it, Taker, just stop it already!" She yelled, not believing he was still on her case about what happened. "He left okay? He's GONE and I can't find him anywhere! Our friendship is over!"
Looking away from him, Juliana shut her eyes tightly and felt her heart shatter at the cold fact that John was really gone. Six months passed since that night and Juliana wasn't the same, the light in her eyes gone. John's departure left her broken in a way Juliana didn't know how to fix and in turn had driven into deep depression, missing her best friend.
He turned to stare at her, eyes cold. "Then go find him, Juliana. If you miss him so bad, go find him." He said finally. "It's been six months and I'm not making you happy. That's more than obvious. So maybe it's not me you need in your life, maybe it's John." Undertaker shook his head, tearing a hand through his black tresses before walking out of the kitchen.
She immediately followed and spun him around by the arm, tears flowing down her cheeks. "You bastard! How can you say that to me?!" She shoved him as hard as she could, eyes engulfed in blue ice. "You should be lucky to have me after the shit you pulled with Anderson! Y-You made me believe you were on his side and then turned on him! John doesn't trust you and he was wondering why I did after what happened! And he didn't mean to hit me; it was an accident, a damn accident! I love you, you son of a bitch! I've stayed with you even after you tried raping me and then killing me, all to play a mind fuck on Anderson! If that's not true love, then I don't know what the hell is, Taker!"
"A mind fuck?" Instead of getting louder, Undertaker's voice had gone softer and calmer, which was never a good sign. The only indication he was beginning to get irate was the fact that his eyes were starting to spit acid. "Juliana, you should know, if I had wanted to rape or kill you, I'd of done it. I did everything I did to save both you AND John."
She swallowed hard, hating when he got quiet because it meant he nearing the end of his patience, his temper ready to detonate. For him to say that if he WANTED to rape and kill her he would've done it, so casually, scared her. Juliana wondered if maybe he really was on Anderson's side and changed his mind at the last second.
"What is this really about, Taker?" She finally asked, her own voice growing quiet, and refused to look back into those intense fire spitting acid green eyes of his.
"It's about the fact that, no matter what I do, you're not happy and I think you blame me for John leaving." He said even more quietly, not pleased she refused to look at him. "And I'm guessing you're probably thinking the worst of me right now, wondering if maybe I would rape or kill you, aren't you?"
Juliana clenched her teeth, hating he could read her mind, and tightened her fists tightly at her sides. "I'm heartbroken over losing someone who was like a brother to me, Taker!" She cried out, both frustrated and hurt at the same time. "Have you ANY idea what me and John went through with my family, especially my father?!" She could feel the tears sting her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, turning her back to face him. "And for you to say things like that makes me wonder, yes. Do you honestly blame me after everything that's happened between us?" Her voice grew weaker and cooler, just pure pain now in her tone.
"Yes, I do blame you." He said evenly, in his honest; take no prisoners, straightforward blunt way. "If you doubt me, then why are you with me? You're just wasting both our time in the end, Juliana. You miss John and I get that. But if you don't trust me, then why the hell are you even here?"
"Because I love you." She whispered, slowly turning around to face him, tears cascading. "I love you, but I don't trust you." She was being honest with him. "I don't know what you want me to do." Her voice cracked under intense pressure, feeling her heart split right down the middle. "I've been trying to work through it, trying to trust you fully, but I can't...I just can't and I don't know why..."
He sighed heavily, turning his back on her for a minute to regain his thoughts, before facing her again, his expression grave and drained. "Then maybe we should just...end this. I love you Juliana, but I won't be with someone who doesn't trust me. Everything I've done, I did for you, to keep you safe. Without trust, there just isn't love."
Her heart shattered at the insinuation and knew she couldn't change his mind even if she wanted to, even if she tried. "Then what are you waiting for? If you don't think we can conquer this then...Go! Get the hell out!" She shouted, anger rising again along with pulsating heartache. Juliana did everything in her power not to collapse, not to breakdown, but her resistance wasn't working.
Undertaker nodded solemnly, staring down at her. "I am. Like I said, I do love you, but I won't be with someone who's going to be living in fear that I might hurt them." Folding his arms over his chest, Undertaker stared at her for a second, memorizing how she looked at this exact moment because he'd probably kick his own rear later for what he was about to do, finally leaving.
As soon as the door slammed shut, Juliana dropped to the floor, her heart wrenching sobs tearing through her small frame. She wanted to go after him, tell him she loved him, but it wouldn't make a difference. She didn't trust him. As much as she loved him, especially after everything they'd gone through together, there was no trust.
Undertaker was right, without trust, there was no love. It was just two people staying together out of obligation. She slowly crawled over to the window and looked out just as he rode away on his motorcycle, running her hand down the glass window, and felt her heart shatter again.
"Goodbye Undertaker..."
Revving the engine, ignoring the warnings for dangerous curves ahead and to slow down, Undertaker just hit the throttle faster, taking them effortlessly. Undertaker was doing everything he could to put distance between him and the woman he had thought loved him, trying to make her nothing more than a distant memory. He didn't care when it started raining because the raindrops hid the fact his own face hadn't been dry to begin with.
~!~
Juliana slowly opened her eyes as the memory ended; the pain was still fresh as it'd been four years ago. She was wrong. She'd been wrong the entire time and, by the time she realized it, it was too late. Undertaker was gone and nowhere to be found. Juliana thought about going after him, but in the end decided to leave him alone, not wanting to cause him more pain. Without another thought, Juliana finally crawled into bed and closed her eyes, letting the sleep overcome her. At least she could have him in her dreams, where nothing else mattered except her and Undertaker.