Hey, This is my first story. Please feel free to tell me anything that I have to improve and I will do my best to live upto your expectations:) This story is not only about love but about self belief, trust and true friendship.

Disclaimer: I don not own Twilight, it is owned by Stephenie who does greater justice to the characters than I do. (Of course that is why she is the owner and not me :)

Painful, Shameful but Goodbye

"Somehow I know we'll meet again. Not sure quite where and I don't know just when. You're in my heart, so until then it's time for saying goodbye."

The morning sun hit me in all its radiant glory. My mother's raspy voice beckoning me to get up was the painful remembrance that it was a new day though I had much rather stayed in bed after what happened last night. I never want to see Edward's face again or any of the others. I don't where we would go from here. I had to talk to somebody but whom. Alice, Jasper and Rosalie were all Edward's friends too and on top of that his siblings so they were not an option. I checked my phone to see thirty three missed calls from Alice, twenty from Jasper, forty from Emmett and thirty from Rosalie but the one person I hoped would call me, Edward. Tears now swelling in my eyes threatened to fall at any moment. They were mocking me, this wouldn't have happened to me if I kept my mouth shut like so many times that I thought I would. One party. Drunk. Blurt out my biggest secret when he revealed is best secret.

Well, I had nowhere to turn to. Then the idea struck me, college. We had all discussed that we would all go to the same college. Though we all received our letters of acceptance to various colleges, we hadn't had time to discuss which we would choose. I had got accepted to almost all the colleges applied to. As I sifted through the letters, tears flowing like a never ending stream, Greenhaven Community College struck me. Perfect! Away from Forks, away from Edward and I knew they would never choose such an insignificant college. I didn't know why it was so appealing to me but..

"Mom, I think I just chose my college to go," I heard myself say and hint of sadness, hurt and loneliness were eminent in it. I heard rapid movement up the stairs, my ever so hyperactive mother I guessed. She would be thrilled, she never liked me hanging out with my friends though I liked them. She burst through the door, yelling,"That is great honey but so soon. I thought you wanted to discuss it with your friends." She said that last word with such contempt and scorn that I thought my mother actually hated them for a reason which was unknown to me.

Letting that slip, I said, "No, I think they would be too busy today anyways I will have to start soon. They can't come with me forever. So I decided already." I was amazed at my emotionless voice, though everything I just said to my mother was the absolute opposite of what I felt. Of course, they would welcome me and insist that I come with them but I can no longer face them because of my own stupid mouth.

"Mom, could you give me a minute." Before she left I headed for the bathroom for I could feel the water works coming. I heard the soft thud of the door then silence. I was alone and cold on the bathroom floor.

I am going to miss them so much. They don't even know the reason I am leaving. This is all so twisted. I am leaving the people that accepted me when I was most broken. Alice with her hyperness, shopping and makeup craze who always know just what I am thinking. Then Rosalie though she looked like a supermodel she welcomed me with open hands and talked through all my boy troubles. Emmett, my big brother always over protective and loving. Jasper, just like Alice he knew everything I go through inside .
Edward. I felt my breathing hitch at this point and the tears came uncontrollably. He was the one I always go to when I really needed someone to talk. He was good listener and always knew what to say. Everyone around us said that we would end up getting married someday but that is just too far away and too painful to think. We shared a bond that nobody else in our gang had. I wasn't his girlfriend but something more, he always called me his unusual girl. He was supposed to be my best friend but that no longer applied to me. The voice in my head mocking me said that it was my entire fault and it was though the guilt I felt at me moving turned to a bleeding wound that would never heal until I met them again.

By the time I came out of the bathroom, it was noon. Had I been there that long? I laughed at the dark irony, even when I am with them time flew and now when I think of leaving them time flies too. As I made my way downstairs Renee was on the phone with Phil. He was my step father though we rarely see eye to eye. My mother married him right after Charlie, my dad, died in a car accident. I loved my father more than Renee but I wasn't lucky to be with him. That memory too, stabbing me at my most vulnerable moment.

"She has decided Greenhaven College. Yeah, it would be good for her to go away from those awful Cullen children. Their father…" I heard her say but Phil was murmuring something on the other line before she could tell about Carlisle. Though my mother disliked him, I loved him. He was the perfect father figure and was more of a father to me than Phil. With that thought in mind I decided to go get some breakfast for going out was not an option with my best friends out to get me. I got a granola bar, an apple and a milk carton. As I looked out of the window I saw a streak of bronze in the backdrop of the inky darkness of the forest. That bronze…
"Bella, I arranged for you to go to college day after tomorrow. I know it is bit early but Phil has some baseball games coming up and he thought it would good be if I could come," she said in a sing song voice and I could tell she wanted me to say yes. I gave her just what she wanted. Before we could continue the conversation a loud banging ensued through the kitchen. When I looked through the window I saw a yellow porche parked in the driveway which could only mean Alice.

No! No! No! I can't see her; she would convince me to not go. I stuck to my final resort. "Mom, please could you tell her that I don't want to see her." A moment later I ended up in bed crying. Alice, so loving Alice. How could I do this to her? For your sanity, the voice answered.

I want to get a last look at her and made my way to the window. I saw my mom slam the door. As she went she looked up to me and I could see that I was breaking her heart. Her mascara was running, her eyes were swollen and her clothes. They were same clothes that she was wearing last night which was unusual for her. The pain, the anger and the hurt I knew was irreversible. With one final look, she left. I could see with Alice, my old life sifting away in the mirror.

Soon, the day I would go to college arrived. The car was packed and my mother was supposed to take me. I took one final look at my bedroom before turning to leave vowing that when I return, it would be a new Bella. Or could it? I left all for the sake of love.

Well, what do you think? Please tell me, Bad, horrible, you should be arrested or ok... Looking forward to hear from, please drop a review if you think this tory is worth one. Any suggestions, any advice and any insults are gladly welcomed in the name of self improvement. :))

Thanks anyways for reading... Enjoy fanfiction for it is truly fantastic... :)