Chapter 1: How it all began...
"Oh Erik, help me!" a young woman cried in a sickeningly sweet voice as she tumbled into the Opera Ghost's lake. Her tulle gown quickly soaked with water and began to sink her into the water's murky depths, until only a slender hand stuck out of the water, still waiting for a presumed rescue.
Erik slammed his fingers on the organ in frustration at the interruption.
"I hope the siren drags you to the corner of hell where you belong," he darkly muttered under his breath. That had been the third girl this morning to fling herself in the lake in hopes to get his attention.
"Now Erik, that is more than a little harsh, don't you think?" Erik turned to see the Persian standing there with his mail. The only thing more reliable that helpless women with tragic backstories these days, Erik mused, was Daroga delivering his mail.
"Do not be absurd, Daroga. These pernicious 'Mary Sues' are driving me mad. Their steadfast adoration and prying is repulsive. Ever since I was put onto that damnable site, my domaine has continuously been infiltrated by all of these girls!" The Persian rolled his eyes as the Phantom ranted. Once again, the Persian was glad that he was not a popular character and that he could move around the opera house with relative ease.
"You could simply abandon your lair and get an apartment on Rue Scribe, to hide out in," Erik turned back to his organ in disinterest as the Persian, "…but then again you're as stubborn as mule so that is out of the question. Here, just read your mail."
"What did I get?"
"Love notes from Phans... That Webber guy wants to make a prequel to the two other musicals he wrote about you... The managers demand that they get their money back from you..." The Persian said, shuffling through all the pieces of mail, one by one. He paused at the last envelope. "Erik?"
"Yes, Daroga?"
"You got something from the creators of FanFiction"
Erik finally held his hand out for the Persian to him the letter. After receiving it, he tiredly ripped it open with a letter opener. Erik really hoped it wasn't not another invite to get interviewed by some writer. Thankfully, it wasn't. If Erik had eyebrows, they would have shot up under his mask after he read it. The puzzled Persian waited in silence as Erik folded it up gingerly.
"What it say?"
"Read it yourself," Erik then flung the letter in his general direction, which the Persian nimbly caught . He cleared his throat and said the letters contents out loud.
"Dear Mr. O.G.
We have heard of your displeasure at the amount of characters know as 'Mary Sues' that have invaded some of your fan fics that are archived in FanFiction For your patience with these nuisances, we have decided to gift you a personal M.S.K. or commonly know as a Mary Sue Killer. Your M.S.K. will eliminate all 'Sues' from your lair and will protect you from any OCs that appear as well. As you (The Phantom of the Opera) are the 11th highest category in our Books archive, we assure you that your M.S.K will be top of the line in quality and extermination skills. Your M.S.K. will arrive in two days at your lair in a wooden crate.
Sincerely,
FFNet"
The Persian set the letter down on a nearby table.
"What do you think of this Erik?" The Persian timidly asked.
"Two days are going to seem like an eternity," He dryly replied.
But just like the note said, the wooden crate appeared after two days. Erik was organizing some stacks of music when it happened. One moment he was sorting and then the next thing he hear was a splash.
"Erik," the Persian called out, which echoed across the cavern of the lake. "I am bringing the package from FFnet over. I would prefer it if you don't drown me."
When the Phantom exited his house, there was quite a quite an amusing sight to behold. An exhausted Persian was paddling across the lake, standing on top of a large wooden crate that he had converted into a makeshift gondola. The old man was panting by the time he had reached the shore. Lugging the box down countless stairs, avoiding Erik's traps, and sailing across the lake had left him winded. Wearily jumping off the crate, he dusted himself off only to find Erik expectantly looking at him.
"Well? Do bring it inside, Daroga." the Phantom told him as he turned and went back into his house.
Annoyed, the Persian made a face at his back before reluctantly pushing the crate through the open door. Wiping his brow and adjusting his fez, the Persian finally studied the massive wooden crate he had delivered to his old friend.
On the top it stated 'Mr. O.G., Opera Garnier, Five cellers down' in a curly dark blue script. Silently, Erik stepped forward and found the clasps on one of the box's sides. With a click, he opened the clasps. Erik hesitated before he opened it. Over the past few days he wondered what a M.S.K. would look like. Was it some machine or robot like they have in the 21st century? Erik decided to open it. After all, those Mary Sues were getting on his nerves. The Persian held his breath as Erik slowly raised the lid up. They both gazed in shock at what lay before them.
"That's it. I'm out. I don't know if this what you thought to be an amusing prank, Erik, but I will have none of it." the Persian snapped and then marched out as Erik continued to stare in befuddlement at the contents of the box, what was supposed to be his Mary Sue Killer
It was a body of a girl.
AN: This is a rewrite of a story on my old account (LittleLuxa). Reviews are appreciated!