Friday the Thirteenth, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu GI Oh. But I do own the Killer Tree Myth

Warnings: Yaoi, OOC

Friday the Thirteenth Sucks

You know, a few years ago you would not have found Ryou in this predicament. He hadn't been so superstitious and gullible...

Well maybe he'd been gullible but he certainly didn't believe in bad luck or this Friday the Thirteenth nonsense.

Then again a few years ago he didn't have a Yami living with him. For those of you who don't know a Yami is a creature of darkness. They basically invented bad luck. And unfortunately for Ryou he had the baddest of the bad. His yami, Bakura, was really evil. He did all kinds of evil stuff. For example, he ate the last of Ryou's Frosted Flakes, chugged the gallon of milk Ryou sent him out to buy before coming home, hid the remote, tore the tag off of Ryou's mattress and sent it to the police, and he also hogs the covers when he sneaks into Ryou's bedroom during thunderstorms.

Yeah. Evil.

So seeing that Ryou had such a maniacal magical spirit living with him for so long, it's only logical that eventually he believed in bad luck.

And steering clear of it.

He tried really hard too. He did everything he could not to have bad luck today.

This included wearing the same socks all week.

And the same underwear.

Throwing salt over his shoulder at every meal time (even at breakfast when he ate some cereal).

Searching through his entire apartment and collecting all the lucky charms he found. Even the dried cereal marshmallows under the couch sofa. He found enough of these to make a bracelet!

He also wore Amane's old pink hat. She called it her lucky hat. He wasn't sure why anyone would find it lucky at all. It was ghastly. The thing had a giant rainbow feather poking out of the rim for crap's sake! And it was an old battered beach hat, all "straw"-y and filled with holes. But she did say that while wearing this hat the cutest guy in school asked her out.

Maybe he was the cutest blind guy...

Anyway, some of the other lucky charms he'd found and was wearing were his mother's old necklace he'd made for her in kindergarten, his father's ridiculously colorful tie from his clown college days, and for just in case he tucked one of Bakura's daggers away in his pants.

So in case you can't picture what he looked like, don't worry. You don't want to know.

Looking at himself in the mirror Ryou sighed. As if he wasn't goofy looking the rest of the time, was he really going to put himself through this? There was no way anyone would talk to him seriously if he did wear this.

But he really needed too.

Why you ask? Well for one it was Friday the Thirteenth. And for two he'd seen an uprooted tree lying on its right side yesterday and he didn't help it.

You mean you've never heard of the "Uprooted Tree Lying on its Right Side Yesterday" myth? Well, sit down and listen to Ryou's thoughts as he walks to school in his perfect bad-luck-propelling-outfit.

See, last week Yuugi's grandpa came into the school and spoke to the class about all his adventures and stuff. One of the stories was about his old pal, Archibald Chubbs, and the "UTLRSY" myth.

The story went like this...

One day Archibald Chubbs was walking down the street on his way to the library. And Archi saw a tree. Now obviously there are many trees in Domino, so at first he wasn't going to bother with this particular one until he reached the end of the tree. There he noticed that it was different.

This tree was lying horizontally; where as the rest of the trees stand vertically.

Archibald's first thought was that the other trees were bullying this tree and kicked it so much that it landed on it's side and there wasn't a kind tree that would help him up. But then he realized that the roots of this tree were completely pulled out of the ground. As well as a solid perimeter of dirt that surrounded the trunk.

Well, there was no way that the other trees were powerful enough to pick this one up out of the ground like that. So his second theory was that this uprooted tree saw a little girl jumping up and down and was so jealous that he decided to jump up and down too. Which didn't work because trees have to be rooted, so because of his jealousy he landed up on his side.

The tree, that is.

Archibald didn't deem this excuse worthy enough of help because he himself was never jealous so he left the tree there and continued on to the bookstore.

The next day Archibald walked passed that same spot and the tree wasn't there. He stood there puzzled until a sixteen wheeler lost control and ran over poor Archi Chubbs, obviously the fault of the tree, which had tricked him into standing still on the sidewalk in the first place.

See? This is poor, poor Ryou's predicament I was talking about earlier. He was on the "Must Kill" list of a giant oak tree.

Which is why he collected all of the charms he could possibly find in his house and wore them all, then tucked all his hair into the hat so maybe the tree wouldn't recognize him.

And it is also why he was going to get hell from his friends and crush.

Oh yeah, did I mention? The evil dark maniacal magical spirit that made him believe in this stupid luck stuff and who was living with Ryou also happened to be the one he pined after. Especially after Bakura got his own body and now attended his school.

Normally they would walk to school together, but today Ryou told Bakura to go on ahead because he had something he needed to take care of. (Psh, yeah. Like Ryou would mention that this something was dressing up like a madman.) Sadly, the other didn't really seem to care.

Uh oh... the spot where Ryou saw the tree yesterday was coming up...

Please still be there, Please still be there...

And the tree was...

Gone.

And that ladies and gents, is why anybody still unfortunate enough to not be in class yet saw a crazy white-haired maniac with a pink hat and a rainbow feather screaming like a girl running into the school building.

"Bakura, where is Ryou? He always shows up with you." Bakura turned to his fellow Yami and the mini-pharaoh sitting in his lap.

"I don't know, he said he had something to do." He shrugged and sat down in his seat, purposefully not looking at any of the couples in the room. Including the billionaire and his puppy making out in the back. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to like the one person he could not have?

Fucking fates, getting back at him. It wasn't like he was that bad. I mean sure, a few thousand deaths and credit card scams were on his shoulders. Along with some mobbing, robbing, pillaging, breaking and entering, ra- you know what? Forget it.

"Then why didn't you wait for him?" Asked a condescending voice from his left. Bakura turned to his other fellow yami, Marik, with a confused look on his face.

"Because he told me not too...?" Malik, who was sitting next to Marik, sighed and shook his head like Bakura had landed in jail at two in the morning and called him to bail him out... again.

"Baka. How do you expect to win him over if you don't spend every waking minute with him?"

"Because, Malik, Ryou isn't like you. Stalking him will not make him like me."

At this the two Egyptians smirked and looked at one another. Everyone knew how Marik got Malik to go out with him. He followed him absolutely everywhere and would not leave him alone until the other agreed to date him. Which Malik did as soon as Marik started talking to him as he was following him.

It was a couple minutes until the bell and still no sign of Ryou. Bakura was about to start his worrying about his light's lateness but heard a girly scream that couldn't actually belong to a girl because it was too high and knew that Ryou was in the building.

Then he started worrying about what it was that Ryou was screaming about.

Or he would have, if Ryou didn't enter the room at that moment.

Flushed, panting, and fully decked out in ridiculous-looking-yet-efficiently-good-luck-outfit Ryou entered his homeroom and promptly tripped over his own shoes falling face first onto the tile and pulling everyone's eyes to the front and on him.

Unfortunately (which was a word that was really being used too much for Ryou's liking today) Bakura's desk was right up front. Along with his friend's desks and several other non-important bystanders.

Ryou groaned and planned on staying on the floor, face down, until the end of the day. He could answer questions from down here, and it wasn't like he was going to be killed by a giant oak tree being so close to Bakura anyway.

But the stupid teacher said that he had to get up just to sit at his stupid desk so she could tell he wasn't asleep.

Stupid teacher. Just because she got a diploma and all that stuff. Che, whatever.

Mortifyingly, Ryou stood up and stumbled to his desk, which was right behind Bakura. He put his head back down on the desk.

"Now class, into your seats everyone!"

No one moved. Mostly just because pretty much everyone was in their seats save for a few people who seemed quite content to stay where they are.

"Mister Mouto, please get off of Mr. Atemu and into your seat next to Ryou. And Jou! Get off of Kaiba for the last time!" She clapped her hands and startled Jou out of Kaiba's mouth, also receiving a look of death and money-loss from Seto. Yuugi stuck his tongue out at her when she turned her back and giggle because Yami tickled him.

Then he ran to his seat and class began.

Or it should have.

"Ryou, take off that hat."

Ryou blanked. He'd forgotten that you weren't allowed to wear hats in school. What was he going to do? Well... didn't Malik tell him something about standing up to the teacher once in a while. What better time to start, he guessed.

"No."

There was a collective gasp from the class. Ryou just said no to a teacher.

"It's the apocalypse! RUN!" One student from the seat closest to the window actually jumped out of it after screaming this.

"Class! There is no reason to be jumping out of windows in my class. Ryou, just take off the hat." She sighed and turned to the blackboard.

"No."

Bakura's eyes widened and he turned to face his light. What the hell was Ryou thinking? Maybe he was having a bad hair day or something.

But that wouldn't accommodate for all the other knick-knacks he was wearing.

And were those his old Lucky Charms marshmallows on his wrist?

"Ryou! Take the stupid hat off!" Ryou's head shot up at her order and he glared at her. Bakura's eyes got wider.

"First off, this hat was my sister's. It is not stupid." His expression softened and he looked down at his folded hands. "Secondly, I just can't take it off."

The teacher growled at him. Why was he being so stubborn? He should listen to her she had an effin diploma!

"I don't care if you don't want to part with the hat, just get it off your head!"

Ryou determinedly stared at his hands and refused to listen to her. He was not going to be killed by a pissed off giant oak tree just because his teacher didn't like his hat.

Especially not before he could tell Bakura how he felt.

Malik for one was incredibly proud. He was finally rubbing off on Ryou! His friend wasn't giving into the stupid teacher anymore. Though why he felt this particular wardrobe was one to protest he had no idea. But hey, whatever made him happy.

Jou took the teachers distraction as an opportunity to continue his earlier make out session and Kaiba gladly agreed.

And even though the room had been quiet for a long time, it was all interrupted with a giggle. Then more giggles. Then a giant guffawing coming from Ryou's right. He turned and stuck his tongue out at Yuugi, secretly thankful for his friend's laughter. Yuugi could make anything not awkward.

Soon Yami and Marik and Malik all joined in on the laughter. Bakura even smirked at Ryou and shook his head.

"I'm going to ask you one more time to get the hat off your head."

Ryou sighed. Bakura could get out of this. Think like Bakura, think like Bakura.

Sadly the only thing Ryou could think of was that Bakura used duck tape to fix everything. That wasn't helping him at all.

Wait a minute...

"Fine." But instead of just taking off the hat like everyone expected him too, Ryou stood up and walked to the teacher's desk where the roll of tape was. He picked it up and turned around to face the class, smiling particularly at Bakura who looked at what was in Ryou's hand then back at Ryou and quirked an eyebrow.

He wasn't going to knock the teacher out with duck tape was he?

No of course not you silly tomb robber! Ryou giggled and threw his head forward, letting his long white locks fall slowly and then flipping them back. It felt good to have them down his back again.

Next he picked up the hat that had flown onto Bakura's desk and held it to his stomach, feather down. Then he started to unravel the tape and touched the tip to the top of the hat. Then he pulled the rest of the duck tape around his back and around again and again until he was sure the hat would not fall.

Like he said before, he was not gong to be murdered by a pissed off tree just because of his stupid teacher and her rules.

"Better?" He asked her, smirking and looking dangerously close to his yami.

Wondering what the hell is going on? What's with the change in attitude? Well, here's Ryou's way of thinking.

If he were going to look like a complete lunatic then the best way to go about it would be to seem proud of what he was wearing. Not scared. That way no one could frighten him into taking it off and the evil tree would not kill him.

"Whatever. Just let me start this lesson. And you can spend lunch in here with me today." She glared at him and he gladly sat down.

"Haha, Rainbow dick." Ryou turned to Malik confused. Then saw his friend laughing and pointed at his crotch...

Or rather the rainbow feather that was sticking up from that particular area.

"Mr. Ishtar! You can stay in here with me during lunch as well. Jou!" She screeched. Jou fell off of Kaiba who helped him up and into his seat then glared at the teacher who finally started the lesson.

Well, thought Ryou. If this is my last day on Earth, at least I can say I left happier than Archibald Chubbs.

Walking home from school that day, Ryou was being extra precautious. He'd figured it all out in Maths that day. If he could avoid being killed by the tree just until he got home, then he'd be safe.

See the myth was called "Uprooted Tree Lying on it's Right Side Yesterday" so if he didn't see the tree again today then nothing could happen tomorrow, right?

Right.

"Ryou! Wait!" Ryou turned around and saw Bakura racing to catch up with him.

He blushed even worse than this morning. Bakura was probably coming to tell him that he wasn't going back to the apartment because of how big of a freak Ryou was and that he never wanted to associate with him again.

"Y-yes Bakura?

Ryou asked when his dark caught up to him.

Bakura placed a hand on Ryou's shoulder and directed him forward.

"Just wanted to talk."

"I'm not that big of a freak to be honest! I mean seriously, this is going way out of line Bakura! You don't have to do that just because I wore a pink "straw"-y hat complete with rainbow feather facing down strapped to my stomach with duck tape today! I couldn't let the tree kill me! Did you want me to become tree poop?"

Bakura blinked.

And again...

"What the fuck are you on about?" He asked. Ryou blushed. Wait, rewind... "Just wanted to talk"...

He made an "O" with his mouth and continued on walking, absolutely refusing to look at Bakura for anything at all.

They continued on in an awkward silence, Ryou wondering if shooting his brains out would hurt less than taking ten bottles of pills and Bakura trying to figure out what exactly was wrong with his hikari.

"Did you say that a tree was going to kill you?" Bakura stopped and looked at Ryou who also stopped and bit his lip.

"I might've..." he narrowed his eyes at Bakura. "Why?"

"Is that why you wore all of this stuff today? Because of Grandpa's story about the killer tree and Archibald Chubbs?"

"That's an accurate theory." Ryou turned to face Bakura. "Why?"

Bakura laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed.

"That stupid tree didn't kill Chubbs, I did."

Ryou wrinkled his eyebrows together then lifted one.

"Say what?"

Bakura laughed again then threw an arm around Ryou's shoulders and shook his head.

"I killed Chubbs with that sixteen wheeler because the bastard didn't pay me for his book."

Ryou once again stopped walking and turned to face Bakura, who still had an arm around Ryou's shoulders and ended up with his forehead on his hikari's.

Sure a lot of disturbing questions ran through Ryou's mind at the moment. One being where the hell did Bakura get a sixteen wheeler? But the one he asked was...

"Why were you working at the book store?"

Bakura grinned and reached into his pocket for something.

"I was raising money." Ryou licked his lips. Bakura was so close.

"F-for what?" He stuttered and blushed. Bakura loved that stutter. It was a positive sign for him, it meant that he was getting to Ryou.

"I wanted to have something to give you when I told you I love you." Ryou gasped and stared at Bakura's eyes. They shifted to look at his hand and Ryou's eyes followed. Then he gasped again when he saw that in Bakura's hand was a porcelain rose hanging on a chain.

Ryou licked his lips again and stared at the necklace. At first Bakura thought he was going to reject him. But he was surprised when Ryou grinned and glomped him.

"I love you too!"

Bakura laughed and spun Ryou around. When he placed him on the ground he captured his lips in a classic, romantic kiss...

Which was unfortunately cut short when Ryou pulled away, glaring at Bakura.

"Do you have any idea what I went through today?!"

Bakura cringed. Not even together for a minute and he was already getting yelled at.

"Stop killing people!"

He sighed and shook his head for the second time that day. Then he remembered something. Now that he was dating Ryou he could stop all these "murder is wrong" rants with kisses and love!

Yay!

So he once again kissed Ryou and the lecture stopped. Then after much snogging and the placing of the necklace around Ryou's neck, the happy couple walked to their apartment and had a wonderful night. Completely killer-tree, and diploma-happy-teacher free.

And the moral of the story is, always pay for your books.

Hope you enjoyed. Happy Friday the 13th!