Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Wish I did but don't. So don't sue me I am very broke and have nothing worth taking.

Author's Notes: This is about hinita and her feeling towards her father and sister. I wrote is a 2 am and it started out as just a rant. I feel very much what she does in the series. I am an older sister who does not measure up to her younger sister. Well enough rambling hope at least someone reads is.

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Cracked Not Broken

I don't know what I did to make you hate me like you do. I don't understand what she has that I don't. I work just as hard if not harder than she does and yet she is still better then me. I don't ask for anything, I can take care of myself and I do. I just don't understand what is wrong with me. I am trying my best but some how it's not enough for you. When you say those cruel words to me it hurts even though I've been hearing them most of my life. I have learned not to let the pain show and wait until the hour is late and I am alone. For if I show my hurt or tears you attack even more, it's like you cant resist some ones weakness. Over the years I have learned how to cry without making a sound, and with out showing I am upset cause I will not make you stronger.

I don't know what is more painful what you say to my face or what you say when I am not in the room and you don't think I can hear you. I think it's what you don't say to me that hurts more, because after all you have said to me for some reason you cant say those words to my face, why is that. So many cruel and heartless words have pass through your lips why can't you say these. It makes me mad to be honest, I would rather know how you truly felt than to be spoken about behind my back, cause words to the face hurt but words spoken behind the back are degrading and that make the hurt and the pain worse.

I guess it's a good thing you have a seconded daughter, cause she is everything I am not and everything you want. The really sad thing is she know it and holds it against me. Every time we speak her tone of voice implies she is smarter, better and prettier than me. We should be sisters and friends relying on each other when things are tough but we are none of those because I am not worthy of her. She has been told not to waste her time with me that I will never amount to what she has and that the family has accepted it so she should to.

I don't understand why you hate me and why I was never good enough for the family. I don't know what else to do to prove that I am good enough, you just don't want to see it. But think about this, even after all the pain and torment and hurt you have put me through I'm still standing. I haven't given up in life, I've just given up on you. I don't have the energy to fight you to try and prove my worth to you because I have learned it doesn't matter how much I try I wont ever be worthy in your eyes. I have to turn all my energy in to picking up all the damaged pieces of my spirit you destroyed, I have to pick myself up and fix myself, not for you and you acceptance but for me. I am done letting you destroy me and while I am damaged I am still fighting for the one person who does matter me.

You can hate me and it will hurt. You will continues to bring me down and torment me and I will always wonder what I did to you to deserve that treatment when I wanted nothing more than to please you. I don't see how someone can treat there own flesh and blood like they are worthless trash. I won't ever be like my sister and its ok because I am stronger than her, even if it doesn't seem like it. You have done enough damaged but there are a small few who still treat me like a decent human and they are why I am not a broken mess.

I'm cracked not broken.

Well hope someone liked it. Please review.