AN: Spoilers for Zugzwang (8x12). Includes a flashback of dialogue from the episode. Don't own Criminal Minds. Can't decide if it should just be a oneshot or maybe more? Poor, poor Reid. Its like they are REALLY trying to set him up for a psychotic break. How much can one genius handle? Couldn't resist writing this, really loved doing Morgan's POV, he's such a complex character.
They had spent hours processing the scene. Hotch had finally taken Reid home-of everyone on the team, Hotch had probably understood better than anyone the pain Reid was feeling. Morgan rubbed his hand over his head, sighing, as they pulled into the FBI facility at Quantico. He really couldn't imagine the loss Reid had suffered . . . the loss Hotch had suffered.
They parked the SUV. J.J., Blake and Rossi headed immediately for their cars, quietly calling their goodbyes to one another. He knew J.J., especially was more than ready to be home with Will. Morgan glanced at Garcia's classic Caddy in its usual spot. Without a second thought, he headed toward their offices. There was only one person he really wanted to see right now. Apparently she hadn't gone home yet, even though she had surely been done with her work for quite some time.
As he stepped into the elevator, he thought of his conversation with Reid earlier in the day. Being Reid, the kid had calculated the number of hours he had spent communicating with Maeve. He had never even seen her face before, but he was in love with her. Reid calculated that he had spent 2,412 hours communicating with her. 100.5 days.
"What if that's all I get?" Reid had asked.
"Well, it's not." Morgan had answered him with conviction.
"You can't say that." Reid had said, with that same fearful look he had worn all day.
"Yes, I can. Because when we find her alive, and you finally get to lay your eyes on her, what's the first thing you are going to say to her?"
Except they hadn't found her alive. Or rather, they had, but they hadn't been able to keep her that way. Instead, Reid had watched as the UnSub had put a bullet through both of their brains. Just as her pathology had predicted she would. But they hadn't reacted fast enough-hadn't seen it coming. Reid hadn't gotten his chance to declare his love. He would never hold the women he had loved in his arms. 100.5 days. After 100.5 days, Reid was broken from his loss.
How much harder had it been for Hotch, after years with Hayley in his life. They had been high school sweethearts. They had brought a child into the world together. Their marriage had not survived the BAU, but that didn't mean Hotch ever stopped loving her. Morgan simply couldn't imagine surviving that kind of loss.
He stepped off the elevator at the BAU's floor. The bullpen was dark and abandoned. He headed straight to Garcia's office-the need to see her growing more urgent every moment. Her office, however, was dark. Her babies were off, her chair pushed in at the desk. He headed to his office next, an irrational fear growing in his chest with each passing second. He breathed out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding as he found her curled up on the sofa in his office, sound asleep. It was, after all, almost three in the morning.
Her crazy high heels sat next to the couch, her bare feet curled under her. Her glasses sat on the small table next to the couch. Although her eyes were closed, the area around them was red and puffy. He knew she had probably spent most of the night crying. She looked utterly innocent and heartbreakingly beautiful. He sat gently on the floor next to her, reaching out a hand carefully to play with a blonde curl that fell across the arm of the sofa.
2,412 hours. After 2,412 hours, Reid knew that he had loved Maeve. He had been able to say it out loud, but he hadn't had the chance to tell her before she was taken from him. How many hours had he and Garcia spent talking over the past years? It had been almost a decade that they had known one another. He didn't have Reid's head for math, but he knew he had easily spent thousands upon thousands of hours talking to the woman before him. She knew him better than anyone else in the world. She knew his fears and his soul, and she loved him unconditionally. They told each other they loved each other regularly, but for whatever reason they both maintained that friendship was all there was between them.
Before he could dwell on that any longer, her beautiful brown eyes opened. She smiled at him, then frowned as her eyes pooled with unshed tears. She reached a hand up and cupped his cheek. "For one stupid moment I was going to ask you what had you looking all serious," she whispered. "Then I remembered." He closed his eyes and sighed, reveling in her touch. He reached up and covered the hand on his face with his own, then turned his face to kiss her palm. She started crying in earnest then. He slid up onto the couch and pulled her into his arms. He knew that her heart was breaking for Reid's, because that was the nature of her soul.
He felt terribly guilty as he held her. Reid couldn't hold the woman that he loved. He felt guilty because he had told the kid it would be okay, and it hadn't been. Despite all the darkness in his life-the black marks on his soul-he got to hold his baby girl, while Reid-who had faced far more than he should have had to in his years with the BAU, who was more or less an innocent-had to deal with the terrible loss of his love. He felt guilty because he felt a thousand times better holding his woman in his arms. He was reaching the point when what was best for her would cease to outweigh his feelings for her, and that made him feel more guilty than anything else. For now, though, he was content to comfort her, and be comforted.