Falling in love with her was never part of the plan. She was supposed to be a charity case, his good deed to help him sleep at night believing he's doing something right in the world.
Her parents died when she was twelve, and now she lives with her grandmother who is so old and out of it that Ally takes care of her more than she takes care of Ally. Her savings plus the money Ally makes from whatever jobs she can get are enough to keep them both alive and fairly comfortable, but they know no luxuries.
Austin befriended her about a year ago and began doing small things to help her out, like taking her out to lunch and going shopping with her to buy groceries, toiletries, and other necessities. But since then, it's grown into something much bigger.
She spends every afternoon with him in his lavish apartment, and then goes home to her grandmother at night. They go shopping on Thursdays, get takeout for dinner on weekends, and every once in a while Austin will make Ally and her grandmother a meal or two.
At first, Ally seemed uncomfortable with everything he was doing for her, and it took some convincing to get her to accept what he bought her. But really, it's not a big deal for him, as he has more money at twenty-six years old than he'll be able to spend in the rest of his life.
He took over his family business as soon as he finished college at twenty-two, and in the past four years he turned an already extremely successful and profitable company into a full-blown billion-dollar enterprise.
He met the twenty-four-year-old brunette at a fast-food restaurant. She had been begging the manager to give her something, anything, for the few dollars she had, but he wouldn't take it. So Austin had walked up and bought her whatever it was she wanted, and got an extra for her to take home. Since then, they've gotten closer and closer.
He doesn't know what it was exactly that made him fall in love with her. But perhaps that's because there really wasn't an epiphany moment in which he saw exactly what it was he loved about her. It was a slow process of getting to know her, discovering her likes and dislikes, exploring her wonderful personality, hearing her stories and finding out her hopes and dreams, all meshed together into one slow, gradual slide into his heart.
But the one thing he by far loves most about her is how absolutely positive she is. He noticed it the day he met her, and he's continued to notice it every day since then. She sees the beauty in everything, the good in all people, the bright side of every single situation that ever comes her way, and it truly amazes him. He can't even find a positive outlook in every situation, even though he is a fairly cheerful guy with a very privileged life. But this girl, this orphan with no family except a grandmother, this poor girl who can't afford to live on her own, can hardly afford to keep herself and her grandmother alive, this girl who has had so much crap thrown at her in her life, is the absolute happiest person he has ever met. She lights up at the most mundane things, and her beautiful smile rarely ever leaves her face completely. She tries so hard to express her gratitude for all he's done for her, and while he finds it completely unnecessary, he can't tell her to stop because she just loves it so much.
Ally Dawson is completely radiant. Her happiness is contagious, and he thinks that it's the greatest quality any person can possess. Everybody around her lights up with her, as though she's a light switch to make the bulbs in a giant Christmas display dance with color. She may feel privileged to be friends with him, but Austin feels privileged to be friends with her. Because while he may be helping her survive with his money, she is helping him survive with her incredible ability to turn anyone's worst day ever into the best day ever with a few words and her beautiful smile.
He is quite possibly having the worst day in his entire life. He only got two hours of sleep, he got in another fight with his father, he got stuck in traffic on the way to the office, and he had to fire one of his best employees for reasons his heart breaks to think about. But he tries to put on a smile for Ally because he's only known her for a few months and he doesn't want to make her day worse than it probably already is just because he couldn't get over his petty rich people problems.
Parking his car in front of her grandmother's small, run-down house, he takes a deep breath and mentally prepares himself to be friendly and cheerful for the brunette. He gets out of the car and walks up to the front door, smoothing down the stiff gray fabric of his business suit out of habit.
When the door opens, he's met with a bright grin and an excited string of chatter, from which he manages to pick up that she's happy to see him, she saw a few adorable baby ducklings on the street today, and she hopes his day was amazing.
He finds that his fake smile immediately turns into a genuine one, but before he can answer, she speaks again.
"Your day wasn't very amazing, was it?" she asks him.
"How could you tell?"
"You don't look as happy as you should be."
"Oh. Well, I guess my day could've gone better. But it also could've gone a lot worse."
"Tell me what happened."
So he does. For the entire car ride to his apartment building, which is a good thirty minutes, he vents to her about his meaningless problems and she listens. He feels a bit silly doing so, as she could probably name plenty of things in her life that his problems would seem like miracles in comparison to. But she listens to him and talks to him and by the time they're in his penthouse he feels a whole lot better.
It will never cease to amaze him how she can just do that, how with just one conversation she can alleviate the stress and weight of all his problems and make him realize that things are okay, that nothing is really as bad as he thinks it is, that he's going to get through this because he's Austin Moon and he can do anything he wants.
"How do you do that?" he finally asks her.
"Do what?" she asks, tilting her head to the right a bit to convey her confusion.
"How do you make my day a million times better just by talking to me?"
"You just need someone who'll listen to you. I don't do anything."
"Of course you do. You-You help me calm down and not be so stressed. You help me voice my problems so they aren't bottled up and weighing down on me. You help me fix my problems and maybe see that they aren't as complicated as I thought."
"Well, there's your answer," Ally says with a giggle. "You already knew it."
Austin smiles, and so does she.
The first time he maybe gets the idea that this girl could possibly be finding her way into his heart is unexpected. They're in his apartment-her in a new outfit he bought her the other day and him in a black business suit (he hasn't changed since getting home from work) and she's talking to him in her beautiful voice, bouncing in her seat with excitement and pure happiness, and he can practically see her glowing.
"What?" she asks, putting her story on pause to tilt her head at him, the easy smile still on her face.
"What, what?" he asks in response.
"What're you smiling at?"
He suddenly realizes that he does, in fact, have a small smile across his features, and he didn't even know it. But really, who wouldn't smile in Ally's presence? Her happiness is contagious, and her positivity can brighten anyone's day at least enough to elicit a smile.
"You," he finally answers.
She giggles, as she usually does when he gives her a compliment that flatters her but renders her slightly speechless, which happens quite often, and then resumes her original story.
He tries to listen to the words she's saying, he really does, but all he can do is focus on, well, everything else. The way she uses extreme hand gestures to try to get her points across; the way her smile only grows and never fades; the way her face lights up more and more as the story goes on; the way her eyes dance with excitement.
It's like she's the human embodiment of the sun, warming him to the core and lighting up the world.
His heart pounds and he comes to the realization that she is the human embodiment of the sun and she does warm him to the core and she does light up the world but it's gotten to the point that if she were to ever disappear, the world would be so cold and so dark that it would be the end as he knew it.
But for right now, she's still here, and he's still warm, and the world is still bright, and she looks so beautiful she can't possibly be anything less than an angel.
In fact, it's like she's made of light, from the sunbeams radiating off her skin to the twinkling stars in her eyes.
Austin has always considered himself married to his job, and while that doesn't render him a bitter, heartless scrooge that the phrase usually connotes, he still doesn't have enough time or desire for a real, solid romantic relationship. At least, that's what he used to think.
But since he met Ally, something inside him has sparked. And even though he tries to tell himself that he still doesn't want any relationship other than a platonic one with the brunette, that doesn't stop him from lying awake at night, staring at the dark ceiling above him and imagining what it would feel like to have her lying next to him, snuggled into his side with her tiny hand on his pounding heart and her legs entangled with his.
On one of these nights in particular, around ten months after they met, he can't take it anymore. The images of them together in his mind are too real, too much for him to handle, completely impossible to push into the dark recesses of his brain where he's managed to hide the rest.
He gets out of bed and starts pacing back and forth in his room, paying no attention to how cold he is in just his plaid blue boxers. His soft, clean carpet is doing nothing to relax him (though it usually does if he's stressed).
He runs his hands through his hair over and over again, clenching and unclenching his jaw, roughly tugging on and letting go of his blonde locks. He mutters to himself to calm down, but unfortunately he doesn't seem to want to listen.
He debates driving over to Ally's, because maybe seeing her will help, but then he realizes that seeing her might just make him do something crazy that he could possibly regret. He doesn't want to lose her over a few confused feelings.
(Except they're not confused at all.)
Letting his arms drop to his sides, he trudges to the bathroom and turns on the sink, splashing some cold water in his face and drying it off with one of the softest towels in the world (in both his and Ally's opinions, at least). He grips the edges of the sink so hard his knuckles turn white and looks at himself in the mirror.
"Just say it, you coward," he tells himself through gritted teeth. (Yes, he does talk to himself, and yes, Ally does find it very amusing whenever she catches him doing it.)
"You love her," he continues. "You've fallen in love with this girl and there's nothing you can do about it."
After glaring at himself for a few moments, his body relaxes and slumps over in fatigue. His arms drop to his sides again and his glare melts into a look of helplessness and exhaustion.
"I love her."
She shows up at his apartment, soaked and shivering from the rain outside, with tears pouring down her cheeks and red eyes. The second he opens the door, she collapses into his arms and sobs into his t-shirt, clutching the fabric like it's the only think keeping her from completely falling apart.
He's in shock at first, for he never even imagined that she'd ever be without a smile, but here she is, weeping and practically crumbling into nothing in his arms. As soon as he blinks and realizes that this really must be serious if even Ally can't find anything positive in whatever it is, he gently lifts her up and carries her to the couch, shutting the door with his foot.
For a while he just sits there with her in his lap, combing his fingers through her wet hair as she cries into his chest and trembles against him. He whispers little nothings into her ear to try to calm her down, but she continues gasping for air and breaking down in fits of sobs.
Finally, she manages to get a few words out.
"She's gone."
Immediately, he understands. Her grandmother. Gone. Passed away. Her one last bit of family, her one last piece of home, her one last loved one-gone. She's alone now. She has no one to take care of her, no one anchoring her to her parents. Her grandmother was all she had left.
Austin says nothing, but he isn't surprised when he feels his own eyes sting with tears. It isn't fair. He understands that it was her grandmother's time, but Ally shouldn't be punished for that. She may be twenty-four years old, but she can't live on her own. She has no money-whatever was left for her surely won't last long-and she'll be mourning for so long that without someone taking care of her she'll probably make herself sick.
He buries his face in Ally's hair and shuts his eyes, wrapping one of his arms around her waist and keeping the other entangled in her brown curls.
They stay there for who knows how long, until eventually Ally cries herself to sleep in his arms. He sits up and wipes his tears before carrying her up to his room and laying her in his bed.
He checks the time and sees that it's mid-afternoon, so he goes downstairs and starts making dinner to distract himself. Ally probably won't want to eat anything, but he promises himself that he'll get her to at least eat a little bit.
About two hours later, as he's just finishing up the meal, he hears soft footsteps coming down the stairs. He looks up and sees the shell of what used to be Ally, with terrible bedhead and the deepest frown he's ever seen.
He shivers.
"Hey," he says gently.
She looks at him, and her eyes look bigger than ever, but there's so much sadness in them that he has to look away.
"I made some dinner," he continues, keeping his gentle tone.
"I'm not hungry," she says, her voice quiet and raspy from all the crying.
"I know, but you need to eat something," he tells her. "Just a few bites."
"Really, I don't want anything." Her voice is detached and distant and so un-Ally that he looks at her to make sure Ally Dawson is really standing in front of him. He thinks about how easily she used to light up-how just yesterday she was so excited about a few baby birds that she talked for two hours about them-and swallows a lump in his throat.
"Ally, please." He holds out a plate with a few cooked vegetables and a small piece of chicken.
She looks up at him, purses her lips, and takes the plate, muttering a thank you.
When she sits down, he notices that she isn't in her clothes anymore. She's wearing one of his old Yale hoodies and a pair of his boxers, and even though it's completely inappropriate at this time he can't help but smile just a little bit at how cute she looks. (Though she'd look a lot cuter if she was the happy, bright, shining Ally that he knows.)
He takes his plate and sits across from her, and he watches as she takes a few bites of her food. Once he's satisfied that she'll keep eating, he starts eating as well.
They finish their dinner in silence, and after that she gets up to leave.
"Where're you going?" he asks.
"Home," she replies, still quiet and distant and not Ally.
"Y-you can't go back there. Not alone, and not now."
"Well, where else am I supposed to go?"
"Stay here," he says quickly. "I-I have a guest room. Please. I…I don't want you to be alone."
"O-okay," she replies quietly. Her answer is so soon after his offer that he's almost certain she doesn't want to be alone either.
So together, they walk up the stairs, and when they get to the place where they'd split to go into their separate bedrooms, she stops him.
"I…I can't-" she starts. But he raises his hand to stop her because he knows. She can't be alone. She can't lie there alone in the dark, staring at the ceiling, being haunted by her thoughts.
He gently takes her hand and leads her into his bedroom, and when he starts grabbing a few things to lay on the floor, she stops him again.
"I need you there," she says quietly.
So he and the broken girl crawl into his bed together, and she's snuggled into his side with her tiny hand on his pounding heart and her legs entangled with his.
Only for once, he wishes she wasn't.
It's been a few months, and Ally is finally getting better. She's officially living with him now, and she goes out more, and she even smiles and lights up with a bit of the spark she used to have. She still refuses to get out of bed on the twenty-first of each month, and Saturdays are hard for her, but he knows that in time, she'll go back to normal.
For now, though, she's okay. She still hasn't made use of the guest room, for even with Austin right by her side her thoughts still get the best of her sometimes and he has to hold her in the dark and wipe away her tears, but other than that, she's doing fairly well. He's managed to get her a job with one of his friends, and that manages to keep her busy and give her a sense of worth and purpose.
He watches her closely, though, because he knows how much she hates being unhappy, even in these circumstances, and sometimes she tries a little too hard and he has to stop her from doing whatever she's doing and remind her that it's okay to be sad sometimes, and in those moments he usually ends up carrying her crying figure upstairs and holding her till she falls asleep, just like he did the first time.
But the important thing is that he's always there. And she knows it. No matter how much it breaks his heart to see the girl he loves so broken, it gives him comfort to know that she trusts him, that he's the one taking care of her, that he knows she's okay. To be the one holding her and promising a better tomorrow when she feels the world crashing down all over again at two in the morning is a privilege to him, though of course he wishes with all his heart that she'd just get one peaceful night's sleep.
She is getting better though, and she's looking more and more like herself each day. He counts the stars in her eyes each morning, and she makes him feel warmer and warmer each day. The world gets brighter again, little by little, and when she finally laughs that beautiful, twinkling laugh again for the first time in months, he knows that they're in the home stretch.
He finds himself falling in love with her more and more as she continues recovering. It seems as though with each returning star in her eyes, with each brightening sunbeam, he falls just a little more in love. And honestly, he thinks it's the best think that's ever happened to him.
Loving her makes it easy to take care of her. It's like second nature to him, like trying to make her happy is what he's meant to do. Every touch from her sets him on fire; every smile is a new pinpoint of warmth in his body; every laugh makes him even happier; every tear rips his heart to shreds.
One night, as she cries in the dark again for the first time in weeks, he holds her tighter than ever and kisses her tears away. She calms down faster than she normally does, and they fall back asleep with his lips pressed against her forehead.
It's been a year or two, and somewhere along the way, he became hers and she became his. She's all lights and smiles again, and his world is bright and warm again.
She's as radiant as ever, and whenever he walks through the door after work the first thing he sees is that beautiful, shining smile and the bright sunbeams and the twinkling stars. She always jumps into his arms and goes into that famous excited string of all the amazing things that happened that day, and he still barely picks up any of it because he's too busy taking her in, soaking up all the light and warmth she gives him with that same goofy, love struck grin he's sure he's always had.
"Guess what?!" she exclaims, practically bursting with excitement as he carries her to the couch on a Friday afternoon.
"What?" he asks, his goofy grin getting goofier and that sappy, adoring look in his eyes probably getting even sappier.
"I saw seven baby squirrels today! That means Miss Muffins finally had her babies!" she squeals.
"That's amazing!" he says with a laugh because he can't possibly contain how undeniably happy she makes him. He's honestly surprised that he hasn't become immune to her contagious excitement, but he doesn't ever want to be.
"I know!" She hugs him and he hugs her back, still laughing, and he kisses her shoulder.
"I love you," he tells her when they pull away.
"I know," she giggles, her cheeks tinting pink. "I love you too."
"I know," he replies, his grin growing even wider because no matter how many times she says that to him, he doesn't think he'll ever get used to it. But it feels so good to have his heart skip those few beats and to be slightly breathless and to replay it over again in his mind that he doesn't really want to get used to it.
He feels like a teenager in love, but it's so much more than that. He is a grown man, almost thirty years old, and this girl makes him feel seventeen again. She feels like the first love; the one everyone dreams about; the one in the movies; the one that makes him so giddy with excitement every time he sees her that he can't even contain it; the one that he never wants to let go of.
"So, what're we gonna do tonight?" she asks him.
"I actually have to talk to you about something," he says, gently lifting her off his lap and setting her beside him.
"Oh, really? What?"
He grins, and he knows that if he doesn't get this out soon he's going to explode with excitement. "I love you," he says. "You know that. You…you're everything to me. You light up my entire world and every morning that I get to wake up next to you is-is an absolute miracle because I'm just an ordinary person and you're so extraordinary that it's completely crazy that I somehow get to call you mine. But-but you love me just as much as I love you and…and that's the greatest thing to ever happen to me. You're the greatest thing to ever happen to me. You always say that I was this-this guardian angel who came into your life right when you needed me, but I think it's the other way around." He knows he's rambling at this point, but he just can't seem to find enough words to convey just how much he loves this girl.
"You mean literally everything to me, and every day I get to spend with you is the best day ever. And I really want every day of my life to be the best day ever, which means that I want to spend every day of my life with you, and…" he trails off and shakes his head, grinning and love struck and feeling every good emotion in the world. "And I want to be yours forever."
He gets down on one knee and pulls out the small velvet box he's been hiding from her for months, and the look on her face makes it all worth it. He doesn't think she's ever been this radiant. She's glowing more than she ever has before and the grin on her face is so big that he knows her cheeks are gonna start killing her pretty soon, but he doesn't think she really cares.
"Ally Dawson, will you please continue to make me the happiest person to ever walk the earth and marry me?"
He barely even finishes the question before she tackles him to the ground and kisses him, her smile so bright that even behind his closed eyelids he can see it.
That night, they lie together in his bed and stay up talking for hours. They don't really talk about anything in particular, but neither of them is tired, both of them wide awake with the excitement of a newly engaged couple. They laugh so loud sometimes that he's sure their neighbors are going to complain, but that doesn't stop them.
They talk into the early morning, and they watch the sunrise from outside his window. And then they both start yawning, and even though their eyes are drooping, their smiles don't even fade for a second.
When they finally do fall asleep, she's snuggled into his side, with her tiny hand on his pounding heart and her legs entangled with his.
I SHOULD BE ASLEEP BUT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DO AND AHHHHHHHHHHHH
