X-treme Adventures in Space
By: Ashuri and Lilly
A/N: Yes, Ashuri and Lilly had another sudden burst of inspiration with our favorite X bishies. Kinda of squel to X-treme Adventures. Mwahahahahahahaha !!!!! And other random characters. Beware, this contains high dosages of OOCness, randomness, shounen-ai innuendo, and *giggles* some crossdressing. If you're don't like or are offended by something mentioned above then stop reading right here. Oh and for the people who read this at FF.Net or Clampesque: *wave their hands in front of the readers* You will review... you will review... you will...
Music starts playing in the background, then it stops and is switched to Star Wars music.
In a Galaxy, far, far away, there existed perverts...
"Shut the hell up !!! I've got a hangover !!!" someone yelled from a random spaceship floating somewhere around the solar system. The narrator fell silent after hearing that voice, that belonged to a certain very dead ex-Sakurazukamori. "I QUIT !!!" the narrator screamed in frustration and threw his papers to the floor, walking away in a very offended mode.
Back on the spaceship, a cute violet-eyed boy pouted. "Now we don't have an intro." But just then, another boy, and a very genki one at that jumped into the scene. "I'll do it !!!!" People aboard sweatdropped. The first boy, looked scared. "That's not good..." But another older boy joined the first two and patted the genki one in a friendly way "This will be fun." he said.
The genki boy, who by the way was named Keiichi, patted his friend back. "See, Mr. Fuuma knows how to have fun !!" Then he took out a piece of paper and giggled, "Okay, there also exists..." he giggled again, "wait, give me a second... hehehe... OH MY GOD !!! This is so embarrasing !!!" The remaining boy sighed in resignation. "I just hope this thing can stay a PG..." Fuuma laughed evilly. "Well, that doesn't bode well..." the scared one said.
Back on the floor, there was still a man with major hangover. Everyone ignored him. Then someone else came into the scene, another man, dressed up in black shirt and pants with a white trenchcoat. He patted the scared boy on the back, who took a step back.
Meanwhile, the new narrator had recovered from his embarrasment and started reading again, still giggling. "Like... okay !! There also existed the Princess Cherry !!!" To which a collective cry of "KAMUI !!!!" was the response.
The mentioned boy, who was already scared enough panicked. "Ah hell no !!! Not me !!!" he tried to run away, while Keiichi ran to the dressing rooms. He returned a few seconds later with a very cute and lacy pink dress. "JUMP HIM !!!" Fuuma yelled and jumped onto Kamui, along with Keiichi. "WHA ?!" Kamui started, but a too late, he was already dressed in the cute, pink dress. "I'm telling my agent..." he mumbled.
Finally, Seishirou looked up from his spot on the floor and noticed a cute boy dressed in a cute dress. He started laughing his ass off. Kamui glared. Keiichi looked at the papers again. "Wait, there's more..." more giggles "There was also, Subaru Sakurazukawalker !!!!" Subaru, who during that time had been trying to comfort Kamui, stared incredously at Keiichi. "It's not that bad Kamui. My sisted used to... WHAT ?!"
Keiichi ignored him and continued reading. "Subaru Sakurazook... oops... a bit of a tonguetwister in here !!" he giggled again. Fuuma facefaulted. Seishirou was still on the floor. "My hangooooooooveeeeer !!!!!!!"
Keiichi ignored them, again and kept giving out parts. "There was also the DARTH FUUMA !!!" Fuuma grinned, posed, and the proceeded to laugh evilly. Kamui just kicked Seishirou. "Quit talking about your hangover !!! At least you have a shred of dignity left." Keiichi giggled, he wasn't done yet. "And Sei-chan gets to be that fuzzy creature thing !!!" he giggled insanely again. Kamui sighed. "Then again..." At that moment, Seishirou passed out on the floor, either from his massive hangover, or from the shock. Subaru just sighed angstily, while Fuuma poked hangover man with a stick.
The overly genki narrator kept looking at his papers. "Wait... something's not right here..." He looked from the papers, to Kamui, then back to the papers. "IT'S YOUR HAIR KAMUI !!!!" Kamui panicked again. "Wha ?!" Keiichi kept pondering how to solve the 'problem'. "Hmm... It's not long enough... but I have an idea !!!" He giggled, ran to the dressing rooms again, and came back with a pair of earmuffs.
"I think I know where this is going..." Fuuma said. Kamui started to back away from Keiichi. "Noooooooo !!!!!!!" "Jump him !!!" Fuuma and Keiichi pounced onto Kamui yet again, and he emerged from the struggle two seconds later, wearing a pair of earmuffs.
Subaru sighed. "At least I get to be a guy..." Kamui just glared at everyone and muttered what sounded like profanities under his breath.
With all the noise, Seishirou woke up long enough to stand up, and faint again, this time landing on Kamui. "Kyaaaaa !!!! I have a Seibaka on me !!! Everyone sweatdropped, among other reactions. Keiichi: "Seibaka ?" Fuuma: "Rather insulting." Subaru: Angsty sigh.
Suddenly Kamui thought of something. "What are you gonna be Keiichi ?" he asked angrily. Subaru sighed, again. "He's going to get the best part. As always." Keiichi giggled, again. "Awwwwwww, that's so nice of you..." Fuuma with Subaru agreed. "But he should be that fat, green guy." Keiichi's eyes popped out from it's sockets, then he giggled again. "No... I was thinking more of the dude who wins Princess Cherry."
This time Kamui started choking. "You're kidding me !!!" And Seishirou was still unconcious on the floor with swirlies on his eyes. Kamui had had enough of Seishirou's drunkness, so he kicked him. "WAKE UP SEIBAKA !!!" The baka, er... Seishirou, opened his eyes and rubbed them, but I've got a hangov..." he started. Everyone glared at him.
Suddenly cute, happy music was heard from somewhere and Kotori apperead out of nowhere. "Can I have a part please ? Please ?" she asked with cute, puppy eyes. Fuuma just stabed her. "Well, that was pointless character bashing..." Kamui said. Subaru nodded. "Yes, it was..." Fuuma grinned evilly at them, "I like sharp objects because I'm EVIL !!!!"
Keiichi shrugged. Seishirou did the same. Kamui breathed a sigh of relief. "Whew... I thought he was going to say..." But he was interrupted by Fuuma speaking again. "And because I AM KAMUI !!!!" Kamui fell over. Subaru sighed. "Maybe I should start saying I am Subaru-kun..." Seishirou thought out aloud. Keiichi looked at him starry-eyed. "Oooooooh, that'd be nifty !!!!"
Fuuma looked at the sharp object in his hand. "When can I kill some people ?" he asked. "You just killed your sister !!!" Kamui answered in fear and shock. "She doesn't count, duh !!!" Fuuma said. Kamui blinked. "Point taken." Seishirou looked at Fuuma. "Speaking of killing, I want to feed my Tree." he said. Subaru glared at him. "It's MY Tree now Seishirou-san." One of the two Sakurazukamori would have fed Kotori to the Tree, except that she was devoured by a random alien. Keiichi started looking through his papers again. "Is this in the script ?" he asked. Everyone ignored him.
"You know, this dress is kind of refreshing... It gives you a really nice breeze..." Kamui thought out aloud. Fuuma looked under Kamui's skirt, and was promptly smacked by Kamui's light Shinken. The blond was shocked. "THAT IS NOT IN THE SCRIPT !!!" Everyone ignored him, except Seishirou. "Is there a script ?" Keiichi blinked. "Yeah... I'm making it up as we go !" Then how can you know it's not on the script ?" Kamui asked.
Seishirou sighed in exasperation. "Forget the script !!!" he yelled. Keiichi gasped in fear. "FORGET THE SCRIPT ?!" The ex-Sakurazukamori nodded. "Yes, let's just get some space ice cream." he suggested. Keiichi was practically sobbing. "But all my ambitions as a director... It was my childhood dream... or wait... did I want to be an astronaught ? Now that I think about it... Wait, did someone say ice cream ?" he asked. Kamui panicked, again. "S-space i-ice cream ?" Fuuma, Keiichi and Seishirou nodded eagerly. "Yep!"
Kamui sweatdropped and backed away from the three of them. "When can I kill people ?" Fuuma asked again. "Killing is not in the script." Keiichi answered. Fuuma shrugded and walked until he was behind Kamui and started breathing heavily. "Kamui... I am... Kamui..." he said. Kamui yelped and ran to hide behind Subaru, who sweatdropped.
"Mmmmm... I want a light saber..." Keiichi said, and suddenly load of light sabers fall over him. Everyone ran to him. "KEIICHI !!!" The blond, genki boy was unfazed. "What ?" he asked. Everyone facefaulted. Keiichi picked up a light saber.
"Mine is better." Fuuma said, as he took out his light Shinken. "Ha ! Well I have a..." Kamui said as he started to look around, "... a... a dress..." he said, and started muttering profanities again. Fuuma pulled out another light shinken. "Does this look familiar to you Kamui ?" he asked. "Um... yeah..." was the meek reply from the other boy.
Keichii smiled. "Yes Kamui. Feel the FORK !!!" Kamui sweatdropped. "The fork ?" Keichii blinked. "What ? It's the fork that guides us all. The fork is inside all of us." he said. Subaru blinked too. "Funny, I don't remember eating a fork..." Kamui sighed at the bunch of idiots that surrounded him. "He means the FORCE." Keichii played with a fork. "I think the fork is niftier." he said. Seishirou took out some of his ofuda. "I can use the Force." he said and started chanting a spell. Subaru smacked him on the head. "That's OMYOUJITSU, Seishirou-san no baka !!!"
Kamui sighed yet again in despair. "This was doomed from the beginning !!" Subaru nodded in agreement. "Why do you say that ?" Fuuma asked his twin star. "I HAD TO WEAR A DRESS !!! AN OMEN OF EVIL !!!" he yelled. Keichii giggled again. "I think you look cute." Fuuma expressed his agreement. Kamui glared at them. "You'd think a burning cat signging jazz in the middle of the desert would be cute !!" Keichii blinked. "With that dress yes." he replied. Fuuma shook his head. "Nah, only Kamui would look cute on that crap."
Seishirou sighed. "I just want an aspirin. Or ice cream." he said. Subaru handed him a box of Subaspirin to him. "Take that Seishirou-san." he said. Seishirou blinked at the box. "Subaspirin ?" he asked. Subaru nodded. "With angst on each pill. Or so the label said." Keichii bounced. "Lemme see !!!" Subaru ignored give and stuck up a cheesy pose. "Subaspirin ! Fell the pain replaced by depression today !!" he said.
Kamui blinked at them all. "I have a feeling that doesn't help any at all..." he thought. Seishirou shrugged and took one, as well as Keichii. "My hangover... is... is angstiness now !!" he said. Both of them started crying. Kamui gasped in fear. "An angsty Keichii ? The world will end today !!! Wait... it's my job to prevent that..." Everyone ignored him.
Seishirou started to sing a random song. "I lost my baby... I lost my darling... I lost my Subaru-kun... To the Cherry Princess..." On the other side of the spaceship Keiichi was lost in his own thoughts. "Where do all the flowers go ? Why does the sky not shine as it used to ?" Fuuma fell over. Kamui was exasperated. "Excuse me ? Am I the only sane one here ?"
Everyone blinked at him. "Kamui, never take a Subaspirin, you're angsty enough already." Fuuma said. Seishirou kept singing sad songs. Keiichi was still lost. "Why is it that children's laughter no longer inspires joy ? That death is too commonplace for tears to be shed ?" Kamui sweatdropped at him. "Man his super genkiness turned into super angstiness in a second..." he thought, then what Fuuma said kicked in. "Yeah I'd probably overdose on ONE !!!" Subaru also sweatdropped. "And Seishirou-san can't sing."
Fuuma then started pondering. "Mmmm... Maybe..." he started as he shoved the rest of the Subaspirins down Kamui's throat. Kamui swallowed them and sat on a corner with a glazed look on his eyes. Fuuma blinked. "What the hell ?" Subaru looked at him and sighed. "He's gone within again..." he said.
But then, Kamui picked his dress and started dancing. Subaru sweatdropped. "Maybe not." Fuuma looked at him in shock. "Uh oh... the overload of angst reverted into... GENKI ANGST !!!" he yelled. Kamui kept dancing. "I hate my life !!!" he giggled. Seishirou rubbed his temples. "My head still hurts..." Subaru looked at him. "Take another Subaspirin." he suggested. Everyone looked at him. "NOOOOOOOOO !!!"
Kamui giggled again. "I hate you all !!! My life is worthless !!!" Subaru looked at him and pouted. "You hate me too ?" he asked teary eyed. Kamui sweatdropped. "Well... er... I hate most of you." he giggled again. Subaru had stated crying. "Because I can't live if you hate me !!!!!" Kamui hugged him. "No ! I love you Subaru !!!" he said. Subaru looked at Kamui starry-eyed. "I love you too Kamui !!!!" Keiichi gasped in shock. "B-but you're brother and brother !!! That's the plot twist !!!" Subaru sighed and pushed Keiichi into Fuuma.
Keiichi looked up at the tall man he had been pushed too and flashed another amazingly genki smile, "Hiya, Fuumster!" Fuuma looked down and waved, "Hey, Kei-kun!" Seishirou however was not as happy as the others, "Doesn't anyone care about my hangover?!" He shouted and everyone turned around to glare at him. "NO!" The ex-Sakurazukamori promptly turned around and grumbled. Kamui sighed, "This plot makes no sense at all!" he declared, throwing his hands up in defeat. Keiichi nodded and sighed, "All of this isn't in the script!" Fuuma shrugged, "Forget the script, let's do interpretive dance!" he said and began to dance but tripped over his two feet, falling flat on his face. Keiichi ignored this and shook his head.
"We must stay faithful to the Ecchi script o' Doom!" Keiichi then gasped and clasped his hand over his mouth, looking around. "Oops...did I say that aloud?" However, just as he realized his mistake, a very skimply clad woman appeared out of the shadows, horror music playing as a low laugh emitted from her throat.
"Did anyone say ecchi? Ohohohohohoho!"
All the men screamed like little girls and clung to each other. Kamui shuddered,"Great...stronger...more perverted forces are at work here," he muttered and rolled his violet eyes. However, Kanoe was too quick from then, and she seized a screaming Fuuma from the group,"Fuuma!" she declared and groped him tightly.
Everyone gasped and struck horrified (and rather over dramatic poses): "Kanoe groped Fuuma!" Kamui reeled back in disgust, "Eeek! See if I ever touch you again Fuuma!" he said as he thought of all the Kanoe cooties his twin star was receiving. Subaru shook his head and clenched his hands into fist,"The horror...the...horror." Seishirou was doing the opposite while clutching his head, "My hangover...my hangover..."
Keiichi sobbed, his eyes growing big and watery. He clasped his hands together and declared (you guessed it),"This is not in the script!" Everyone turned their heads to face him so quickly that it sounded like a whip cracking. They all declared in unison,"FORGET THE SCRIPT!"
Tears ran down the usually genki boys eyes and he inhaled deeply, trying not to sob. "But...(sob)...the script..." "You're amazingly airheaded...but we still love you," Kamui said, and feeling sorry for the boy was about to pat him on the shoulder, but Kanoe intercepted him with her amazing Flying Grope Technique (TM). Keiichi actually didn't seem to mind, "Oooh...a little low-" he was pulled away midgrope by an exasperated (and mentally scarred) Kamui. Kanoe glared and stuck her tongue out, and attempted to glomp the cherry boy.
Kamui shrieked like a baby and held his hand up in the air, a bright aura bursting forth from his entire body. "MAGICAL CLAMP POWERS!"
There was a bright explosion of light and smoke, and techno music began to play as the shadow of Kamui's body began to change. As the light dimmed and the smoke cleared everyone looked at...what had to be the stupidest thing in their lives. Kamui had turned into a gigantic, fat fluff-ball. Namely, Mokona. The newly Mokonanized Kamui blinked. "Pu..."{Translation: I have a feeling something didn't turn out quite right}
Keiichi however gasped and giggled, "Cute!" he declared, looking at theMokona Kamui with much adoration. Kanoe however huffed indignantly and stuck her nose in the air so high that she might have drowned if it was raining, "No fun groping a fluff ball!"
The Mokona Kamui did a small dance (which pretty much just involved him shaking his fat backside from left to right while moving his pudgy arms in small circles). "PUUU!" {Translation:Or better yet, hallelujah!}!" Keiichi shrieked at the overload of cuteness and glomped the Mokona Kamui, squeezing with all his genki might. Kamui's eyes bulged out. "Puu" {Translation: I have just been violated!}
Kanoe turned her grope-o-vision on the unexpecting Subaru and grabbed him tightly. Subaru gave her a flat look and said simply, "If you're going to grope me...do it with ANGST." However, Seishirou pushed her away at the last moment, "Only I can grope Subaru-kun!"
Kamui ran around in panic, "Puuu! Puuu! {Translation: PG! PG!}"
Kamui was shocked, not because of the ratings, but because they had understood him. "PUUU?!" {Translation: You speak Puunese?!} Fuuma put his hands on his hips and nodded with a grin, "Puuu{Translation: I speak Fuumanese too}," he said in a sultry tone. Kamui fell over as Fuuma began to demonstrate, "Fuuma! Fuuma! Fuuma!" {Translation: I'm too sexy for my shirt...too sexy for my shirt...too sexy!}
But just at that moment, as Fuuma added a little dance to his Fuumanese demonstration, Subaru then began to realize something strange with the spaceship. It was moving but… "WHO THE HELL IS DRIVING THE SPACE SHIP?!"
As battle mission music played, Kamui waddled (and very slowly to were it took him about five minutes to get past Fuuma) to the driver's seat. Managing to pull himself up, he reached for the wheel, when he realized he couldn't. "Puu." {Translation: Damn it}.
Fuuma ran up to the seat. Kamui gave a small Mokona cry as a shadow descended from the heavens above him and he was suddenly very squashed. Fuuma had sat on him. Fuuma began to piole the space ship, unaware of his squashed comrade, and gave a sigh of relief. Kamui twitched from underneath Fuuma, one of his eyes poked out. "P-p-pu..."
Subaru picked up Kamui and stroked him, "My poor plushie," he said softly. Kamui gurgled, "uuup...puuu...pu..." Seishirou was in the middle of giving them a very jealous look when Fuuma suddenly screamed, "AN ASTEROID!" Everyone yelled... and Fuuma drove right into it. The whole ship shook and everyone gave Fuuma a dirty look as he muttered a small, "Oops, my bad." Suddenly all the lights went off. Everyone froze when they heard something crawling around in the air vents.
Subaru began to get tears in his eyes,"I'm so scared...so...scared...I don't know what my hair looks like!" Kamui was shaking in his furry little body,"PUUU!" {Someone hug me! I'm scared!}
Fuuma chuckled nervously, "Sorry guys..." Keiichi was busy reading a paper he had pulled out of nowhere, "This isn't in the script either." Suddenly there was a heavy, rasping breathing seeping from the vents. Suddenly, drool began to puddle up on Seishirou's head from an opening of the vents. A person's snoring could be heard. Seishirou pulled some of the drool from his hair and said simply,"This isn't in the script either, is it?" Keiichi shook his full blonde head, "Nope."
Suddenly the vents creaked and gave out under the weight of Kakyou, who fell on top of Seishirou, crushing him. Seishirou groaned. "I think my hangover came back." Kakyou woke up and yawned before noticing something was amiss. "KYAAAAA! Who are you?!"
Kamui made a desperate attempt to communicate, "Puuuuu! Puuuuu!" Kakyou raised one of his thin eyebrows, "Puu Puu? What an odd name." Fuuma however smirked, "I am Kamui," he said proudly. Kamui raised two pudgy fists into the air, "PUUU!!" {No, I am Kamui!!}
Seishirou raised a meek hand from his place still crushed under Kakyou, "I have a hangover." Subaru took on a distant look, "I'm angsty," he said simply. Keiichi bubbled over with excitement, "I'm a cute princess...wait that's Kamui. Okay, I'm like sunshine on a cloudy day!"
"You're all mad!" Kakyou exclaimed suddenly, but then a look of thoughtfulness overtook his features. "Or am I mad? Or...all we all mad? Is this some sort of Alice in Wonderland thing?"
"No," Seishirou said," Actually it was supposed to be a Star Wars parody." Kakyou looked around as if finally understanding where he was, "Explains the ship." Fuuma smiled proudly once again, "I crashed it!" Without a word, everyone smited Fuuma promptly. Fuuma groaned and rubbed his head, "Itai..."
Kamui had had enough. "Puuu!" he declared and with a little effort squeezed out of Subaru's arms and waddled slowly out of the room, his flab shaking as he took each step. Everyone watched him finally reach the door and round the corner, disappearing out of sight. Kakyou sweatdropped, "What's with the fluffball?"
Kamui seemed to have been in earshot because he waddled back into the doorway and gave Kakyou a Mokona flip off, which considering he had no fingers, did nothing. He then left again and Kakyou sighed angstily. Subaru who was usually the angsty one was tempted to ask, "What's with the angstiness?"
Kakyou's eyes took on a sad look, "My girlfriend died...well...my almost girlfriend," he said softly. Subaru patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. Fuuma got a tad nervous, "Er...who would she happen to be?" However, Seishirou was even more nervous, "Yeah...er...who?"
Kakyou looked at Subaru suddenly, "She looked a lot like YOU," he said pointing at Subaru. Fuuma sighed in relief, however Seishirou was not so serene. "I KNOW NOTHING!" he shouted and attempted to run away from under Kakyou, only to run into a wall. Subaru sighed,"I had a twin," he then looked at the unconscious ex-Sakurazukamori. "Until SOMEONE killed her!"
Suddenly, Someone walked into the room. "Who, me?" Fuuma pushed Someone off the ship, "No, you're not needed." Someone screamed as he fell and the X-bishies all cringed as they heard something splat on a nearby asteroid. Fuuma took
on a serious look, "There's an error in this movie… In space, no one can hear you splat..."
Subaru raised his eyebrows, "But we just did." Fuuma glared at him. However, Someone seemed perfectly fine because he said, "So?" from his place on the asteroid. Everyone sweatdropped and Fuuma fumed, "Quiet you!"
Keiichi clucked his tongue worriedly, "Someone wasn't in the script..." Just then, Kamui came back with a can of Mountain Dew, he tried to drink it, but as before, having no fingers limited his activity. The soda can fell to the floor and the green liquid splashed out from it, beginning to float in the air. Fuuma greedily lapped up the floating liquid while Kamui gave a few Mokona curses. He then left for another soda. Feeling thirsty himself, the now conscious Sei grabbed a bottle of sake from nowhere.
"Wanna drink?" Seishirou asked and waggled his eyebrows at Subaru. Subaru turned him down, "I'm not a drunkard, unlike other people," he said hotly. Fuuma was now bored, "Anyone want to play Yahtzee? Or how about Monopoly! SCRABBLE! I know! Let's play SCRABBLE!"
Kakyou sighed softly,"How about playing sleep?" he asked sullenly. Fuuma looked confused, "That sounds kinda uneventful," he said. Kakyou lowered his eyes and sighed again, "That'd be the point." There was a long moment of silence. "Okay," Fuuma said.
Seishirou seemed to be in a flirty mood (either from the sake or the head injury, it was hard to tell) and winked at Subaru. "Not really...depends on who you sleep with!" Subaru in response, turned a lovely shade of scarlet tinted with a deep crimson. "S-S-SEISHIROU-SAN!!!" Seishirou grinned, "What? You know you like it, Subaru-kun!"
Kamui came back in with another soda and this time a straw. Fuuma grinned,"This game sounds fun, ne, Kamui?" Kamui calmly put the straw in his soda and said simply, "Pu!" {Not on your life!}
Kakyou sighed and shook his head, "These people are mad..." Kamui swelled up, looking thoroughly insulted. "Puuu!" {I'm not mad! Just disturbed and fuzzy.} Seishirou looked offended as well, "I'm a pervert!" Kamui sighed dejectedly, "Puuuu…
{I need to get out of this body…} Subaru nodded, "I agree on that." Fuuma got starry eyes, "Going back to your body, Kamui?" Kamui cringed, "Puu…" {On second thought…}
Keiichi sighed, "The script...the plot is ruiiiiiiiined!" Kakyou shrugged, "So? I wasn't even in the script." Keiichi seemed to have reached the deep end, because for unexplained reasons he snapped. Pulling out a light saber from nowhere he declared maniacally, "AND I'LL TAKE YOU OUT OF THE SCRIPT!" He then proceeded to chase Kakyou.
"I wasn't in the script either!" Someone yelled, but apparently, no one heard him or chose to care. Subaru was surprised, "Gee golly willibits. He's snapped."
Kamui hoping to remedy the situation held his pudgy 'hand' into the air and shouted, "PUUUUUUU PUUUUUUU PUUUUUUUU!!!" {MAGICAL CLAMP POWERS}...Only to turn into Kero. Kero-Kamui sweatdropped. At least he could talk, "Is there anyway I can be human throughout this thing?" he muttered and gave a little Kero pout.
Kakyou however stopped running as he had a sudden idea. He ran into the saber and declared, "I'm coming Hokuto-chan!" Keiichi gasped, "Is...that...ketchup?" he asked meekly. Fuuma shook his head," Poor sheltered kid." However, Kakyou didn't die. Tears ran down his face, "Why can't I die?"
Kakyou gasped,"H-H-Hokuto?" Hokuto giggled, "That's me!" she then snapped her fingers and a very elegant dress surrounded her, "I think I make a better Cherry Princess!"
Feeling his title being threatened Kamui burst into action. "WHAT? NO YOU DIDN'T!" he said and waved his head around. He then thrust a furry paw into the air, "MAGICAL CLAMP POWERS!"
By some stroke of a miracle he became regular Kamui again, "*I* am the Cherry Princess!" Subaru blushed, "And a very naked one at that." Kamui looked down and blushed as well, without a word he sprinted out of the room and came back in his dress. "NO ONE is to speak of that," he said in all seriousness. He then turned around to face Hokuto, "As for you! I am the Cherry Princess!" he slapped her. Hokuto raised her hand just as Fuuma smirked, "I took a pic of that," he said and began to pass around copies.
Subaru casually slipped the copy in his trenchcoat while Sei complimented Kamui's butt. "WHAT?!" Kamui shouted but was cut off by Hokuto's slap. Keiichi was giggling, "I've got to post these at school!"
Kamui's mouth dropped open as Keiichi added, "This will be a hit at the box office!" Kamui growled, "If you mean of a hobo, yeah I guess!" Kakyou shook his head, "I'll have nightmares after this," he said. Seishirou groaned, "I have another hangover." Subaru merely shook his head, "Tsk tsk..."
Keiichi stood up triumphantly, "BUT THE PLOT MUST GO ON!"
Suddenly the words: THE END flashed on the screen. Keiichi gasped, "What was that?" Kamui shrugged, "I think the plot had a suicidal moment." Subaru nodded, "Most likely." Fuuma nodded as well, "We must have killed it."
Keiichi took a dramatic pose and screamed,"NOOOOOOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL PLOT!" Kamui sighed, "Maybe we should offer a few words..."
Subaru nodded, "Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you--" but he was interrupted by Kamui. "NOT THOSE WORDS!" Kamui screamed. Sei sighed, "What is life? Is it worth living when a stupid kid steals your boyfriend?" Kamui glared, "HEY!" Kakyou glared too, "Or when someone kills your girlfriend?" Seishirou chuckled nervously.
From his asteroid Someone said, "Told you it wasn't me!" Everyone looked down at him, "WE KNOW THAT! SHUT UP SOMEONE!" Someone crossed his arms, "I know when I'm not wanted!" Just then Someone got ran over by a random space ship.
*** *** *** *** ***
The greenhaired woman looked at her blonde partner, "Mihoshi did you feel something?"
The blonde shook her head and with a smile said, "No! Just a space bump!"
*** *** *** *** ***
Kamui cringed, "OOOH! That's gonna hurt in the morning." Seishirou nodded in agreement, the rest just ignored the sound of Someone splating against a window. "Won't anyone fix that splatting thing ? I told you no one can hear you splat in space !" Fuuma said angrily. Everyone, as usual, just ignored him.
Kakyou and Subaru sighed angstily together. "Does anyone know when this nightmare will be over ?" the blond yumemi asked. Everyone shrugged and Keiichi looked at the script yet again. "I dunno, I lost track of stuff since everyone started doing things that were not in the script. Then when non-script people appeared..." he said with a glare in Kakyou's and Hokuto's direction.
Hokuto just fumed, she was very mad no one had invited her to be the Cherry Princess. Besides, her dress was much prettier than Kamui's. "You guys just don't appreciate my charm and fashion sense. Let's leave this bunch of wackos, ne Kyou-chan ?" she asked Kakyou, and without waiting for an answer, grabbed his arm and walked out of the room.
As she was exiting, Kamui turned and stuck his tongue out at her. "You're just jealous of my cuteness!" he said then turned to Subaru. "I am cute, right ?" The omnyouji smiled and nodded. "A lot." he said, as he peeked at the naked Kamui pic discreetly.
Seishirou would have glared at them, except that he was still suffering from a hangover. "Doesn't anyone have some real aspirin ?" he asked. Everyone shook their heads. "There's stil some Subaspirin left though." Keiichi said. Seishirou shook his head. "Nooooooo !!! No more Subaspirin !!! Unless it's a certain Subaspirin..." he said, winking at Subaru, who sweatdropped. "You can manage to flirt with me with a major hangover ?" he asked. Seishirou shrugged.
Fuuma, who had been silent for a moment, thinking, suddenly had a bright light bulb shining over his head, maybe because he had an idea, or because Kamui had pulled out a flashlight from the emergency kit in the spaceship. "Hey Seishirou, you can do the teleporting thing right ? With the sakura and stuff ?" he asked. Seishirou nodded. "Yeah, I can. Why ?" he asked. "THEN GET US OUT OF HERE !!!!!" Fuuma yelled.
Seishirou blinked for a moment then slapped his forehead. "Why did it occur to me before ?! I could have gone to get an aspirin a long time ago !!!" Kamui sighed in frustration and bonked him in the head. "Maybe because you spent the whole time complaining about your stupid hangover !!!" he said. "Well that doesn't matter, just get us out of here." Subaru said, but Keiichi looked at everyone with teary eyes.
"B-B-But what about the scriiiiiiiiiipt ?" he wailed. Everyone fell over. "The plot is dead !!! Script or no script we wanna get out of here !!!!!" Keiichi's eyes had turned to waterfalls. "But what about Princess Cherry and Subaru Sakurazukawalker ? They'll never learn the truth about being brothers !!! And I will never get to marry Princess Cherry !!!!! A-And Seibaka... well Seibaka isn't really important." Seishirou glared at him. "Just for that, I won't take you back home." he said.
Subaru gently poked Seishirou on the arm. "Will you take us home now, Seishirou-san ?" he said. "I'm tired of being Sakurazukawalker and I'm freaked out by my dead sister and random people popping out of nowhere." Seishirou smiled. "Don't worry Subaru-kun I'll take you home and I promise we'll have some ice cream together." he said with a wink. Subaru nodded and clung to Sei's arm.
"Hey what about the rest of us ?" Kamui asked. "And what about our ice cream date ?" Fuuma added. "And what about the script ?" Keiichi declared, which earned him a smiting from everyone. "K... I'll never mentiong the script again. But know that you guys managed to destroy a dream !!!" As usual, he was ignored.
"Well, everyone ready ?" Seishirou asked. Everyone nodded and clung to any part of Seishirou's body they could find, some of which would be better if not mentioned. Then the Sakurazukamori disappeared with everyone in a swirl of sakura.
At that moment, Hokuto and Kakyou were coming back to the room. "Well Kamui, I'll let you be..." she started, then blinked in confusion. "Nani ? Where did everyone go ?" Kakyou shrugged. "Dunno, but at least I'll have some peace now..." he said. "Don't count on it 'Kyou-kun !!! Ohohohohohohohohoho !!!!!!!!" she said as she glomped the yumemi to death. "Oops... 'Kyou-kun ? You okie ?" But Kakyou didn't move, he was really dead this time.
"Whaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!! I killed 'Kyou-kun !!!!!!!" she cried, but stopped as the yumemi's spirit joined hers. "I'm finally with you Hokuto-chan !!!!" he declared as they both departed to Heaven [or Hell].
*** *** *** *** ***
Meanwhile, Seishirou had taken everyone back to Japan, to Ueno Park. ::You brought me dinner ?:: the Tree asked 'eyeing' Subaru and Kamui. ::Nope, I brought everyone back home, but you can have the blond if you want to.:: Seishirou replied. The Tree took a look at Keiichi's ever-genki face and shivered inwardly. ::Er... No thank... I don't want to suffer from indigestion...:: it answered. Seishirou shrugged. ::You choice, I'm going home to take an aspirin and a huge nap.:: he said.
Keiichi blinked at Seishirou, because for a long minute he had stood staring at the Tree. "Yo, is this guy talking to his imaginary tree friend or what ?" he asked. "More a Tree fiend, but yeah he is." Subaru replied.
Kamui looked at everyone and smited them all. "You, know... I'm never coming near any of you again, you're all insane !!!!!!!" he said and took off running. "Did I say anything ?" Keiichi asked. The rest shrugged. "Oh well, I'll see him later anyways. I'm going home. Lalalala !!!" he added and took off in the opposite direction Kamui had taken.
"I just want to go to bed..." Subaru said with a yawn, and Seishirou smirked. "Would you like to go to my bed ?" he asked. "S-S-SEISHIROU-SAAAAAAAN !!!!!!!" he said as he turned crimson and hid his face in the other's chest. "I'll take that as a yes. Ja ne Fuuma-kun, we'll go for that ice cream some other time." he said, as he disappeared again in his sakura style, taking Subaru with him.
"So much for ice cream..." Fuuma said with a sigh. ::So much for dinner...:: the Tree agreed. "Does he do this you often ?" Fuuma asked. ::Only when he wants to play with his little Subaru-kun. I don't think I want to eat him anymore...:: the Tree responded.
"Oh well, I knew my life was boring. I mean, destroy kekkai, kill a few people, molest my cute twin star... Mmm... good idea... Mwahahahahahahaha !!!!" Fuuma laughed as he took off after Kamui with his hyper-dragon of Earth-speed.
*** *** *** *** ***
Somewhere on an asteroid...
"Hello ? Hello ? HELLO ? Anyone here ? Insane people who think I killed a girl, are you there ? Stupid people who ran me over, are you still around ? HEEEEEEEEEELP !!!!!!!" Someone called in vain, because in space, no one could hear him scream.
~Owari~
Lilly: Whoa, this was looooooooong, Ashuri and I hope you liked it, as we had so much fun writing it !!! And beware, there may still be other X-treme adventures... Ohohohohohohohoho !!!!!!!!